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Anonymous #1
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That one
#23907507 - 12/08/16 03:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Hello all,
I have a bit of a situation im unsure what to do about. I met a girl about 2-3 years ago and we had this instant connection. We had are ups and downs in the past two years but we still share this undeniable connection. We broke up a few months back because she wanted to be with someone else and during that period things were not ao good between us but i knew the conelnection was still there. We talked very little in the months we have been broken up until recently and things seem good between us. She has told me she still cares about me but she needs to see improvement before she can actually want to be with me. She is still with the guy she left me for, and i need anyone who reads this to understand the complexity that is life, she seems to be having doubts in that relationship already and she has made it very clear to me she wants me in her life because of how well i get her and i feel that same way about her.
If this was ANY other girl i would be long gone by now but in my heart and soul i feel like i cant give up on this girl she truly is an amazing person amd i care about her endlessly.
I just want to know if anyones got some advice positive/optimistic or negative/"realist" anyones i put is valid imo.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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I don't know your situation and I can only guess but I think remaining as only friends is the healthiest thing the two of you can try to do.
Like maybe FWB but only if you both feel trust and enjoy each others company.
The only issue with FWB is that it has to stay FWB, which means no emotional attachments and not spending as much time together.
Perhaps seeing each other once or twice a month is something you can both enjoy. If it's going to work that way you'd both have to be able to focus on yourselves and refrain from becoming codependent.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23907827 - 12/08/16 05:41 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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We talk all the time. So co dependency may be an issue here but its hard to just let go of someone who gets you and her just being in my life makes me happy. Her being with someone else does hurt a bit but it nowhere near how hard it is not having her in my life at all. I really feel strongly about this girl and its feels like something really special. She goes to college in another state but its hard for us to just not talk because it feels right.
I do see how there may come a time where we cant really talk much and i will do that of she feels that what she wants but until then i feel like it would be giving up on her or abandoning her.
I can handle talking to her injust dont want to be doing the wrong thing tonher i dont want to mess her up by talking to her. I really care about this girl. If you got any question on specifics i can answer them but this is a really long story that ive been posting in the S&R threads for awhile now.
Im pretty sure this is that one or at least my first one person that i will love for my entire life whether they are a part of it or not. The past two years we have helped eachother grow alot and she has made into a better person by being real with me. I am now optimistic and positive and a great deal of that is because of her influence on my life.
Im just confused on what i am supposed to do.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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If she's being real with you then be real with her.
Again though, if you develop strong feelings or become codependent it will end poorly.
Don't they save you're supposed to let go of the people you love? If it's meant to be you'll stay friends, if not know it's more important for you to focus on your own happiness.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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What you're "supposed" to do? If only life were that simple!
Well, it's not, and all we can do is try our best: sometimes we do the right thing, and sometimes we do the wrong thing, but it's good that you're trying to do what's best for everyone involved, and as long as you have that desire and the willingness to learn, then you will be fine and some day thrive.
Try phrasing your questions in a new way rather than what am I 'supposed' to do.
Ask yourself, does waiting for her to figure out what she wants make you happy? Are you happy and loving towards yourself? Could you let her go entirely, never hear from her again or see her again, and still love yourself the way you think you are able to love her?
Because loving ourselves, having compassion for ourselves, is the foundation of self worth, and that self worth is the mirror which we hold up to the rest of humanity. It's great to have virtuous motives or intentions with this girl, but man she doesn't even live in your state... you've got to focus on your own life and take care of yourself.
It's fine to have strong feelings for her and to think that the two of you could be in love some day, but my advice is that you focus on your own happiness and the relationships with the people whom you actually see, and not to wait around for her. It's not giving up on her, it's accepting her fully, or having unconditional love, while you find your own path.
These words are difficult for me to type, as I'm having to learn a lot about letting go these days, but the only way to really love someone is to accept them and, as cliche as it sounds, to let them go.
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Alyssa
consecrated woman ✝️

Registered: 11/25/14
Posts: 1,517
Last seen: 6 days, 1 hour
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The fact that she's said she'll consider being with you if you "improve" says to me that she doesn't give that big of a fuck about whoever she's with now.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: That one [Re: Alyssa]
#23909967 - 12/09/16 11:59 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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I do believe that i love myself and that i can continue to love myself long after shes gone. Alot of that is because of her influence on my life. I am just happy to have met her.
I have let her go before and then she came back into my life i had let her go when everything went down with us and i was about to tell her goodbye for good so she can be happy but she pretty much told me she doesnt want that and she does want me in her life.
I feel more comfortable in life with her in it when we dont talk i still have to go through painful ideas of her being woth someone else and that pain is no where near as bad as the emptiness i feel when we dont talk at all
I like what ive been reading in the responses thank you guys
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2shoes
The anti-agar



Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB
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Re: That one [Re: Alyssa]
#23909986 - 12/09/16 12:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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She's with some other dude talking about wanting to be with you?! Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
So let's say she comes "back" to you. How long until she leaves due to finding more improvements to hang over your head. Your not a dog waiting for a treat, you deserve better than that.
I'd cut it off OP. The sooner the better. Not saying forever, at least until she's single for awhile and not just rebounding.
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Alyssa
consecrated woman ✝️

Registered: 11/25/14
Posts: 1,517
Last seen: 6 days, 1 hour
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Re: That one [Re: 2shoes]
#23910157 - 12/09/16 01:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
2shoes said: She's with some other dude talking about wanting to be with you?! Sounds like she doesn't know what she wants.
So let's say she comes "back" to you. How long until she leaves due to finding more improvements to hang over your head. Your not a dog waiting for a treat, you deserve better than that.
I'd cut it off OP. The sooner the better. Not saying forever, at least until she's single for awhile and not just rebounding.
I disagree, I think he should give her a chance rather than rejecting her out of fear and never knowing what could have been. It's a lot easier to deal with having tried and failed than regretting never having tried.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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2shoes
The anti-agar



Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB
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Re: That one [Re: Alyssa]
#23910171 - 12/09/16 01:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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He already tried. Shes with another dude and talking to him. Sounds like she's just playing games and stringing OP along with word improvements.
If OP cuts ties he'll see where her true feelings lye.
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Alyssa
consecrated woman ✝️

Registered: 11/25/14
Posts: 1,517
Last seen: 6 days, 1 hour
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Re: That one [Re: 2shoes]
#23910206 - 12/09/16 01:21 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
2shoes said: He already tried. Shes with another dude and talking to him. Sounds like she's just playing games and stringing OP along with word improvements.
If OP cuts ties he'll see where her true feelings lye.
I meant trying now, not before. I've never been in love, but I've recently realized what it means. It means going the distance for the other person no matter how far.
OP, I recommend you give this a real good chance starting from where it is now before giving up. I don't see how it can be considered a lost cause from what you've said. Make the changes she wants to see and who knows, you might end up living happily ever after.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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2shoes
The anti-agar



Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB
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Re: That one [Re: Alyssa]
#23910263 - 12/09/16 01:40 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Alyssa said:
Quote:
2shoes said: He already tried. Shes with another dude and talking to him. Sounds like she's just playing games and stringing OP along with word improvements.
If OP cuts ties he'll see where her true feelings lye.
I meant trying now, not before. I've never been in love, but I've recently realized what it means. It means going the distance for the other person no matter how far.
OP, I recommend you give this a real good chance starting from where it is now before giving up. I don't see how it can be considered a lost cause from what you've said. Make the changes she wants to see and who knows, you might end up living happily ever after.
OR OP makes the changes he shouldn't have to make to be happy with her and end up sad in his own life and divorced with half of his shit because she takes it to her new dudes spot.
I imagine you could find someone that loves you for you and not have to jump through hoops to get her to break up with her current dude.
It's not a lost cause. If you break it off she may come back since now she knows she has you and the current guy she's dating. Knowing she has the pick of the litter will make her be more choosy about the said improvements.
You deserve better OP
I'm also not a fan of dudes trying to ruin someone else's relationship for personal gain. Thats lame. She should tell her current dude how she's feeling but I doubt that will happen since she most likely want both options on her plate.
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Anonymous #2
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Re: That one [Re: 2shoes]
#23911898 - 12/10/16 12:19 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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My advice is to stand your ground, be real with her, tell her that you think she doesn't know what she wants and that you are not someone who needs an ultimatum. Tell her when she figures out what she wants she can come speak to you. Talk it out then but don't think so far ahead.
IMO I think it's unfair she is leaving you hanging blowing in the wind. I also think it's immorally wrong to be a in relationship with someone whom you do not care about, as is obvious. She is wasting everyone's time with her in decisions and playing mind games with you over love.
If you are willing to go that far, as you are thinking in your OP, then find someone who emmitts the same energy, the same effort and the same sacrifice towards you cause that's what you deserve
2-Shoes; have you considered that maybe she isn't totally aware of what she is doing? It's not just with women, but when it comes to feelings, a lot of us are quick to jump to the worst conclusions and forget that other possibilities exist too. Maybe she hasn't grown up enough emotionally to make such decisions rationally and is just succumbing to her instcints without even realizing
Edited by Anonymous (12/10/16 12:27 AM)
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2shoes
The anti-agar



Registered: 04/07/11
Posts: 3,124
Loc: Not in a SAB
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Quote:
Anonymous said: 2-Shoes; have you considered that maybe she isn't totally aware of what she is doing? It's not just with women, but when it comes to feelings, a lot of us are quick to jump to the worst conclusions and forget that other possibilities exist too. Maybe she hasn't grown up enough emotionally to make such decisions rationally and is just succumbing to her instcints without even realizing
Whether she knows it or not OP should have have the audacity to call her on it so at least she can attempt to see the situation from a different perspective.
I'm guessing she knows what she's doing only because she's with the dude she left OP for and still talking to OP months later about having feelings for him. Wouldn't she naturally feel guilty? She's trying to get OP to conform via "improvements" so she can feel safe and satisfied with leaving him for OP. Then once OP gets her back how many months until she gets bored again? What if OP didn't improve enough for her? What if OP sinks back into his old self that is unimproved?
I stand at move on OP. Be yourself and someone will love you for you which is what we all deserve.
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Hello all,
I have a bit of a situation im unsure what to do about. I met a girl about 2-3 years ago and we had this instant connection. We had are ups and downs in the past two years but we still share this undeniable connection. We broke up a few months back because she wanted to be with someone else and during that period things were not ao good between us but i knew the conelnection was still there. We talked very little in the months we have been broken up until recently and things seem good between us. She has told me she still cares about me but she needs to see improvement before she can actually want to be with me. She is still with the guy she left me for, and i need anyone who reads this to understand the complexity that is life, she seems to be having doubts in that relationship already and she has made it very clear to me she wants me in her life because of how well i get her and i feel that same way about her.
If this was ANY other girl i would be long gone by now but in my heart and soul i feel like i cant give up on this girl she truly is an amazing person amd i care about her endlessly.
I just want to know if anyones got some advice positive/optimistic or negative/"realist" anyones i put is valid imo.
A connection when she is getting skull fucked by someone else? Is this real life right now?
OP what is it like being a cuck? Any man with a sense of self respect would tell her to go fuck herself and start banging her hotter friends and thin younger sister.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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Alyssa
consecrated woman ✝️

Registered: 11/25/14
Posts: 1,517
Last seen: 6 days, 1 hour
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Quote:
finalexplosion said: A connection when she is getting skull fucked by someone else? Is this real life right now?
OP what is it like being a cuck? Any man with a sense of self respect would tell her to go fuck herself and start banging her hotter friends and thin younger sister.
Oh true, I neglected to address the issue of the male ego. Obviously it's shattered when we have other sexual partners. You guys need to have ownership of the female, don't you. "This girl is either my girl or she's your girl." Come the fuck on. From a female perspective, this situation is not devastating, it's merely uncertain.
-------------------- I'm Alyssa. I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart. I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: That one [Re: Alyssa]
#23913428 - 12/10/16 03:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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She has come back to me and went well out of her way to be woth me a year ago and she isnt looking for improvement that she told me to make she is looking for improvements that i said i wanted to make for my self when we met and i didnt ever really do or i did just fall back into my old ways. She was happy i believe when i was doing good but when i got bad again she eas not happy and did make every strive to tell me i was losing her but i took her for granted.
I do love her unconditionally i will dp anyhting for her and i am ready to bear the blows to my ego to at the least try for this girl.
Once she tells me shes done i will let her go but only if thats what she tells me she wants because i am the person she has to talk to about anything and i dont want to abandon her.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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I know that unconditional love may sound like the ideal but when does unconditional love become blind love?
But I guess you really do just have to wait to hear what she says she wants, then again she may never say it.  I think you're being strung along.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: That one [Re: Alyssa]
#23913443 - 12/10/16 03:17 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Alyssa said: Oh true, I neglected to address the issue of the male ego. Obviously it's shattered when we have other sexual partners. You guys need to have ownership of the female, don't you. "This girl is either my girl or she's your girl." Come the fuck on. From a female perspective, this situation is not devastating, it's merely uncertain.
That's why I like having female friends, you don't own your friends  Codependency can be a cruel maiden.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: That one [Re: sudly] 1
#23918007 - 12/11/16 09:28 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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monogamy aint the same as codependency, though.
Two people can share a monogamous relationship without feeling ownership or dependency upon each other. Trust is different than requiring someone to fulfill your emotional needs.
It actually takes a lot of strength to know how to love yourself fully yet remain devoted to someone whole heartedly in a relationship, without seeking other sexual partners. It's a challenge, but if you can remain unconditional in your love for yourself and your partner then you can sky rocket your spiritual progression through the process.
It's not for the faint of heart at all, because you have to be able to accept that it could be over at any moment whatsoever, yet still enjoy each moment.
As Bjork says: it takes courage to enjoy it.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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I'm not saying monogamy is the same but that codependency is more likely to arise from it.
True that, but sometimes unconditional love can be taken for granted by an abusive partner and used for selfish manipulation which ends up leaving one person blindly in love.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23918204 - 12/11/16 10:52 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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That happens all the time, and it's one reason why it is so difficult =/
and yes I would definitely agree that co dependency is more likely to occur in monogamous relationships.
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Anonymous #1
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She is with someone else and on some level it does hurt but like i had said its harder not having her to talk to. I have accepted the fact she is with someone else. I can live without her i know if she wanted to stop talking completely i would respect that and move on because i would know thats what she would want me to do. I love this one she is one if those people you just simply love for the rest of your lives because their impact on you was so great.
She is a wonderful persin and the time ive gotten to know her has been amazing and something i coukd have never imagined.
I would like her to be in my life until the end but i am aware sometimes things dont work out the way we hope. Im just happy i met her. Thank you everyone for your input.
Edited by Anonymous (12/15/16 03:31 PM)
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23933162 - 12/16/16 05:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: I'm not saying monogamy is the same but that codependency is more likely to arise from it.
True that, but sometimes unconditional love can be taken for granted by an abusive partner and used for selfish manipulation which ends up leaving one person blindly in love.
Fantasy and delusion.
Your wife is out sucking dick or getting her shit pushed in; you love unconditionally? This is absurdity and lunacy. Not real life. Monogamy is not in our nature as human beings. It is however a fallback plan for most people. The idea of polyamory is not something most people subject themselves to but, a good portion of our society follows serial monogamy (ie children out of wedlock, bastard kids, divorce, etc.) which we are seeing is even more unhealthy.
As for "blindly in love;" if you are a rug, expect to get walked on. There is expectations for every relationship. A lot of what is deemed as "love" is usually neediness, clingy, two desperate people bumping uglies, and then, the endorphins wear off, and people get bored.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Anonymous said: She is with someone else and on some level it does hurt but like i had said its harder not having her to talk to. I have accepted the fact she is with someone else. I can live without her i know if she wanted to stop talking completely i would respect that and move on because i would know thats what she would want me to do. I love this one she is one if those people you just simply love for the rest of your lives because their impact on you was so great.
She is a wonderful persin and the time ive gotten to know her has been amazing and something i coukd have never imagined.
I would like her to be in my life until the end but i am aware sometimes things dont work out the way we hope. Im just happy i met her. Thank you everyone for your input.
You sound like a cuck.
You need tough love dude. If you put on this pretentious "unconditional love" rubbish, you leave her the notion of being at her beck and call. Girl can go on a gang bang, have a train ran on her ass, and its cute. Captain Save a Hoe will rescue her from the big bad world; foot her bills, raise her babies, and listen to her problems about all the sex you don't get from her.
Not doing it right brah. She starts telling you her problems, take it out. Start hitting on her friends. Hump her hotter younger sister. Get off this sissy mode and put on the big boy pants.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Quote:
As for "blindly in love;" if you are a rug, expect to get walked on. There is expectations for every relationship. A lot of what is deemed as "love" is usually neediness, clingy, two desperate people bumping uglies, and then, the endorphins wear off, and people get bored.
I would have thought you're supposed to set the expectations of a relationship with good communication and boundaries, not to come in with them. I think love is usually one sided because of poor communication and selfishness.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body


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Posts: 1,061
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23933926 - 12/16/16 11:02 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Tell her how you feel . You could be wasting your time, wondering. You really need to tell her how you feel, and that you need to know how she feels about how you feel.
I feel like she's just stringing you along because she is too nice to let you down. Don't let her pity you, tell her exactly how you feel, right now.
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Your prevarications of the human condition have come from and lead to suffering. However, when you address the causes of your own suffering with compassion, you might find that you no longer feel the need to assume that the only healthy way to deal with problems, particularly in relationships, is through anger and the disavowal of unconditional love.
This subforum is supposed to be free from prejudice and flaming, such as your use of the word 'cuck', so keep that droll misogyny and homophobia to yourself.
No one owns anyone. The only way to truly connect and understand another human being is to accept them and try your best to love them unconditionally. That doesn't mean responding with anger when inevitable difficulties arise.
Edited by Chakra Shock (12/17/16 12:11 AM)
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
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This girl sounds like she likes the attention she's getting from a couple of guys, she probably gets off on having two guys swooning over her, and is playing both of you. She needs to grow up and figure out what she wants, and needs to stop using her vagina as a tool to make you guys slaves.
-------------------- ©️
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: That one [Re: Lucis]
#23935391 - 12/17/16 01:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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It does sound that way, doesn't it?
Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to leave them be for a while, even if everything seems peachy.
She could easily be using this situation to her advantage, OP, and that is not a good position to be in for courtship.
The only way love can be real is if both people are putting everything on the line for it.
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Quote:
sudly said: I would have thought you're supposed to set the expectations of a relationship with good communication and boundaries, not to come in with them. I think love is usually one sided because of poor communication and selfishness.
Infidelity for instance is not something that needs a boundary but, today, "I can do whatever I want," and more rhetoric "don't need a man." That theme changes once the dating world no longer provides. Love is conditional because there are expectations and prerequisites. Quote:
Chakra Shock said: Your prevarications of the human condition have come from and lead to suffering. However, when you address the causes of your own suffering with compassion, you might find that you no longer feel the need to assume that the only healthy way to deal with problems, particularly in relationships, is through anger and the disavowal of unconditional love.
This is lunacy. So, your wife gets pregnant having cheated and you match this with love. Do you raise his baby too? This is madness. Unconditional love is sold by Hollywood. It does not exist unless a cuck.
Quote:
This subforum is supposed to be free from prejudice and flaming, such as your use of the word 'cuck', so keep that droll misogyny and homophobia to yourself.
Cuck-old - A man whose spouse or romantic partner is unfaithful.
Just more rhetoric on low testosterone and adversity to competition. Projecting good sir that or its a Freudian slip; revealing what you fancy. No man with options is about that life.
One man's trash is another mans treasure.
Quote:
No one owns anyone. The only way to truly connect and understand another human being is to accept them and try your best to love them unconditionally. That doesn't mean responding with anger when inevitable difficulties arise.
I accept 'sloot gonna sloot.' Cool story bro. Netflix and chill ftw!
Not leta marry her and raise her babies until she takes half my chit. Da fuck is this nonsense.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
Edited by finalexplosion (12/17/16 03:09 PM)
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finalexplosion
Stranger
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Re: That one [Re: Lucis]
#23935693 - 12/17/16 03:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said: This girl sounds like she likes the attention she's getting from a couple of guys, she probably gets off on having two guys swooning over her, and is playing both of you. She needs to grow up and figure out what she wants, and needs to stop using her vagina as a tool to make you guys slaves.
+ 1
Attention whore. Best way to get over a girl is to get under a new one lol
She wont grow up until fertility and sexual market value is shot. Then, the perpetrator {of her own shitty life choices} swiftly becomes the victim. This isn't a new story. A lot of dudes get off jumping on landmines and trying to fix a woman's problems. Needless to say, it does not end well.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Your fundamental approach to relationships is terribly flawed, I wish for your own sake ( and others, too ) that you could see the inherent hangups in the way you perceive relationships and women.
No one owes you anything, you don't owe anyone anything either. Masculinity is not a competition for who can obtain the most sexual partners, save that for the food chain. It's a sad life to live by manipulating others into paying attention to you, by, for example, hitting on their sisters and friends. That's not love, it's fear, and it doesn't lead to relationships, it leads to meaningless sex. If that's what you want, then go for it, time will teach you your lessons one way or the other.
But if you would just take the time yourself to actually think about whether or not your attitude will lead you and others to genuine happiness, you might save yourself and others a lot of needless suffering.
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Anonymous #1
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I am here to give a bit of a update,
I know how i feel about this girl i care about her whether we ever end up together again or not. She is an amazing person just going through alot of big changes in life. I want to be there for her when she needs me but at the same time i feel like talking to her all the time is not good for her because she is in another relationship. I have talked to her about how she needs to believe in herself and have faith in something hoping she would understand im getting at her relationship with either me or her current boyfriend because i just want her to be happy.
It does hurt, her being with someone else. I still care about her happiness though.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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That's cool, just make sure to take care of yourself and your own happiness too. Don't wait up for her, man. There are a lot amazing people out there, but you might be missing opportunities to meet them by dwelling on this relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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Im thinking about telling her that we shouldnt talk until she know more about what she wants but that she can hit me up if she needs me.
I think it will be best
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Anonymous #1
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Edited by Anonymous (01/02/17 08:09 AM)
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Anonymous #2
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I think that is the best approach to your situation, just toss everything in the air and if it's meant to be she will come back. At least this way she will respect you cause you made a decision and at the same time asserted yourself to not waste anymore time of ''maybes'' and ''buts''
Good on you man, I wish you the best
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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You can PM me if you want to, I think I've had a somewhat similar experience.
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