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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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I'm not saying monogamy is the same but that codependency is more likely to arise from it.
True that, but sometimes unconditional love can be taken for granted by an abusive partner and used for selfish manipulation which ends up leaving one person blindly in love.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23918204 - 12/11/16 10:52 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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That happens all the time, and it's one reason why it is so difficult =/
and yes I would definitely agree that co dependency is more likely to occur in monogamous relationships.
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Anonymous #1
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She is with someone else and on some level it does hurt but like i had said its harder not having her to talk to. I have accepted the fact she is with someone else. I can live without her i know if she wanted to stop talking completely i would respect that and move on because i would know thats what she would want me to do. I love this one she is one if those people you just simply love for the rest of your lives because their impact on you was so great.
She is a wonderful persin and the time ive gotten to know her has been amazing and something i coukd have never imagined.
I would like her to be in my life until the end but i am aware sometimes things dont work out the way we hope. Im just happy i met her. Thank you everyone for your input.
Edited by Anonymous (12/15/16 03:31 PM)
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finalexplosion
Stranger
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23933162 - 12/16/16 05:57 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: I'm not saying monogamy is the same but that codependency is more likely to arise from it.
True that, but sometimes unconditional love can be taken for granted by an abusive partner and used for selfish manipulation which ends up leaving one person blindly in love.
Fantasy and delusion.
Your wife is out sucking dick or getting her shit pushed in; you love unconditionally? This is absurdity and lunacy. Not real life. Monogamy is not in our nature as human beings. It is however a fallback plan for most people. The idea of polyamory is not something most people subject themselves to but, a good portion of our society follows serial monogamy (ie children out of wedlock, bastard kids, divorce, etc.) which we are seeing is even more unhealthy.
As for "blindly in love;" if you are a rug, expect to get walked on. There is expectations for every relationship. A lot of what is deemed as "love" is usually neediness, clingy, two desperate people bumping uglies, and then, the endorphins wear off, and people get bored.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Quote:
Anonymous said: She is with someone else and on some level it does hurt but like i had said its harder not having her to talk to. I have accepted the fact she is with someone else. I can live without her i know if she wanted to stop talking completely i would respect that and move on because i would know thats what she would want me to do. I love this one she is one if those people you just simply love for the rest of your lives because their impact on you was so great.
She is a wonderful persin and the time ive gotten to know her has been amazing and something i coukd have never imagined.
I would like her to be in my life until the end but i am aware sometimes things dont work out the way we hope. Im just happy i met her. Thank you everyone for your input.
You sound like a cuck.
You need tough love dude. If you put on this pretentious "unconditional love" rubbish, you leave her the notion of being at her beck and call. Girl can go on a gang bang, have a train ran on her ass, and its cute. Captain Save a Hoe will rescue her from the big bad world; foot her bills, raise her babies, and listen to her problems about all the sex you don't get from her.
Not doing it right brah. She starts telling you her problems, take it out. Start hitting on her friends. Hump her hotter younger sister. Get off this sissy mode and put on the big boy pants.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Quote:
As for "blindly in love;" if you are a rug, expect to get walked on. There is expectations for every relationship. A lot of what is deemed as "love" is usually neediness, clingy, two desperate people bumping uglies, and then, the endorphins wear off, and people get bored.
I would have thought you're supposed to set the expectations of a relationship with good communication and boundaries, not to come in with them. I think love is usually one sided because of poor communication and selfishness.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body


Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
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Re: That one [Re: sudly]
#23933926 - 12/16/16 11:02 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Tell her how you feel . You could be wasting your time, wondering. You really need to tell her how you feel, and that you need to know how she feels about how you feel.
I feel like she's just stringing you along because she is too nice to let you down. Don't let her pity you, tell her exactly how you feel, right now.
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Your prevarications of the human condition have come from and lead to suffering. However, when you address the causes of your own suffering with compassion, you might find that you no longer feel the need to assume that the only healthy way to deal with problems, particularly in relationships, is through anger and the disavowal of unconditional love.
This subforum is supposed to be free from prejudice and flaming, such as your use of the word 'cuck', so keep that droll misogyny and homophobia to yourself.
No one owns anyone. The only way to truly connect and understand another human being is to accept them and try your best to love them unconditionally. That doesn't mean responding with anger when inevitable difficulties arise.
Edited by Chakra Shock (12/17/16 12:11 AM)
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
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This girl sounds like she likes the attention she's getting from a couple of guys, she probably gets off on having two guys swooning over her, and is playing both of you. She needs to grow up and figure out what she wants, and needs to stop using her vagina as a tool to make you guys slaves.
-------------------- ©️
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: That one [Re: Lucis]
#23935391 - 12/17/16 01:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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It does sound that way, doesn't it?
Sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to leave them be for a while, even if everything seems peachy.
She could easily be using this situation to her advantage, OP, and that is not a good position to be in for courtship.
The only way love can be real is if both people are putting everything on the line for it.
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
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Quote:
sudly said: I would have thought you're supposed to set the expectations of a relationship with good communication and boundaries, not to come in with them. I think love is usually one sided because of poor communication and selfishness.
Infidelity for instance is not something that needs a boundary but, today, "I can do whatever I want," and more rhetoric "don't need a man." That theme changes once the dating world no longer provides. Love is conditional because there are expectations and prerequisites. Quote:
Chakra Shock said: Your prevarications of the human condition have come from and lead to suffering. However, when you address the causes of your own suffering with compassion, you might find that you no longer feel the need to assume that the only healthy way to deal with problems, particularly in relationships, is through anger and the disavowal of unconditional love.
This is lunacy. So, your wife gets pregnant having cheated and you match this with love. Do you raise his baby too? This is madness. Unconditional love is sold by Hollywood. It does not exist unless a cuck.
Quote:
This subforum is supposed to be free from prejudice and flaming, such as your use of the word 'cuck', so keep that droll misogyny and homophobia to yourself.
Cuck-old - A man whose spouse or romantic partner is unfaithful.
Just more rhetoric on low testosterone and adversity to competition. Projecting good sir that or its a Freudian slip; revealing what you fancy. No man with options is about that life.
One man's trash is another mans treasure.
Quote:
No one owns anyone. The only way to truly connect and understand another human being is to accept them and try your best to love them unconditionally. That doesn't mean responding with anger when inevitable difficulties arise.
I accept 'sloot gonna sloot.' Cool story bro. Netflix and chill ftw!
Not leta marry her and raise her babies until she takes half my chit. Da fuck is this nonsense.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
Edited by finalexplosion (12/17/16 03:09 PM)
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finalexplosion
Stranger
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Re: That one [Re: Lucis]
#23935693 - 12/17/16 03:04 PM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Quote:
Fennario said: This girl sounds like she likes the attention she's getting from a couple of guys, she probably gets off on having two guys swooning over her, and is playing both of you. She needs to grow up and figure out what she wants, and needs to stop using her vagina as a tool to make you guys slaves.
+ 1
Attention whore. Best way to get over a girl is to get under a new one lol
She wont grow up until fertility and sexual market value is shot. Then, the perpetrator {of her own shitty life choices} swiftly becomes the victim. This isn't a new story. A lot of dudes get off jumping on landmines and trying to fix a woman's problems. Needless to say, it does not end well.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Your fundamental approach to relationships is terribly flawed, I wish for your own sake ( and others, too ) that you could see the inherent hangups in the way you perceive relationships and women.
No one owes you anything, you don't owe anyone anything either. Masculinity is not a competition for who can obtain the most sexual partners, save that for the food chain. It's a sad life to live by manipulating others into paying attention to you, by, for example, hitting on their sisters and friends. That's not love, it's fear, and it doesn't lead to relationships, it leads to meaningless sex. If that's what you want, then go for it, time will teach you your lessons one way or the other.
But if you would just take the time yourself to actually think about whether or not your attitude will lead you and others to genuine happiness, you might save yourself and others a lot of needless suffering.
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Anonymous #1
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I am here to give a bit of a update,
I know how i feel about this girl i care about her whether we ever end up together again or not. She is an amazing person just going through alot of big changes in life. I want to be there for her when she needs me but at the same time i feel like talking to her all the time is not good for her because she is in another relationship. I have talked to her about how she needs to believe in herself and have faith in something hoping she would understand im getting at her relationship with either me or her current boyfriend because i just want her to be happy.
It does hurt, her being with someone else. I still care about her happiness though.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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That's cool, just make sure to take care of yourself and your own happiness too. Don't wait up for her, man. There are a lot amazing people out there, but you might be missing opportunities to meet them by dwelling on this relationship.
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Anonymous #1
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Im thinking about telling her that we shouldnt talk until she know more about what she wants but that she can hit me up if she needs me.
I think it will be best
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Anonymous #1
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.
Edited by Anonymous (01/02/17 08:09 AM)
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Anonymous #2
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I think that is the best approach to your situation, just toss everything in the air and if it's meant to be she will come back. At least this way she will respect you cause you made a decision and at the same time asserted yourself to not waste anymore time of ''maybes'' and ''buts''
Good on you man, I wish you the best
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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You can PM me if you want to, I think I've had a somewhat similar experience.
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