ive had some seriously negative trips. i'm experienced with using drugs. tried IV morphine in the fisrt grade due to a serious accident where i broke my arm. became a daily spice addict around 16 and quit around 17. remained a daily top grade cannabis smoker since. i'm currently 22. i started taking psychedelics like a lot of kids in my generation. the scary ass nbome compounds. i only took these a handful of times and after what i could call my first not necessarily bad trip but difficult i quit using them completely. after i quit, i had an AMAZING first time on LSD and the day after tried psilocybin mushrooms for the first time(First festival, fuck it i guess?). i over indulged a bit by tripping and or rolling basically every month at LEAST once from April 2014 to roughly May 2015, gradually slowing down into 2016 and i have not tripped all year. needless to say, over indulgence can lead to repeatedly negative experiences. alot of the negativity was sourced from outside stimuli that i was currently dealing with at the time. some of that was a pill head psychotic girlfriend that didnt fully approve of psychedelic use, being on my own for the first time and learning to manage my life, to just trying to start my life on my own in a positive way. after a pretty earth shattering and hard experience on some pretty potent cubensis (o.8 grams) i basically halted use for awhile and have been scared to trip again since. the thing is, my first experiences absolutely shattered my depression and anxiety that had previously run my life and i was able to feel like i was living how youre supposed to. now i feel i am below where i was before i took them the first time. I miss the wonderful times so much. All the wonder,the color, the happiness, the seemingly permanent grin across my face, the enlightenments and reassurance that you are doing something right, the absolute magical connection between your friends. I cant bring myself to give myself a chance at any of that again, because i know what the other side of the coin is now. I know i can have a perfectly happy life without psychedelic drugs but its more of a pandoras box situation and now that i know whats in the box, i cant just pretend it doesnt exist anymore. i want to trip again so badly and just dont know how to bring myself to anymore. i plan to venture back into it again on NYE if conditions allow. i plan either 2.0 or 3.0 grams of cubensis which my current girlfriend bioassayed in July. She had a wonderful time on them at about 1.5 grams and said it seemed a bit underwhelming.
So everyone, i need encouragement that i will be okay. and all the advice on dealing with the negative experiences in the moment. an interesting point someone brought up is that nobody has ever died from classical psychedelics. and while i know this sober or otherwise, i have been damn convinced more than once i was about to die from this experience. and someone said, embrace it. basically die with dignity in your own home and not strapped down injected with anti psychotics in an unfamiliar place. while that still rubs me slightly wrong, it makes more sense than it would have a year ago.
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I wish I had assurances for you, but I dont.
You described pretty accurately how my psychedelic use has evolved, with taking you to new heights, and then dropping you.
I thought I was in a position to try them again after a year or so hiatus, and it was a mixed experience.
But really, it wasn't okay, and I had a very hard time dealing with the negative experiences during and thereafter.
And it sucks, and is deflating, but I don't see any other thing but to pick up the pieces, keep trudging on, and come back at another point in time. When I was at my highest, I promised myself psychedelics would always have a place in my heart, like a room ready for an old friend, and so I'll do battle with my mental demons again, and again, and again, until mental illness sets in and the knife is well and truly entrenched in my back, or the tranquility of the teacher is once again imparted.
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Eat an eighter on Christmas and watch Christmas movies. Haha jk. Eat a sixteenth and if the trip is bad take a nice, long break and if it's bad again, well, there's your answer right there.
Some really good bad trip advice is this (and it only applies to mushrooms): in 8 hours or less you will come back down...
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