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Invisibledemiu5
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Registered: 08/18/05
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Emotional Support
    #23897494 - 12/05/16 05:00 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

I just want to be here to like show my support




We can assume, from the context of the "tragedy" this quote arose from, the young woman means her emotional support.  How does one quantify 'emotional support?'  Is there measurable energy or resistance (such as through physical support) in or that results from this 'emotional support?'  Does one actually draw/pull something from or through others who are 'offering their emotional support', or is it merely that we are creatures so self-absorbed that the attention others give in the form of 'emotional support' softens the blow of unexpected losses or events that result in a net negative impact on one's psyche?

I can verbally offer sympathies.  I can physically be in proximity to, mourn, relate, and empathize.  Up until the point where physical touch occurs (exs.:  a hug, a kiss, a hand on a shoulder or arm, etc.), which does incite electro-chemical reactions, what immediate physical manifestation, if any, does this emotional 'action' yield?

Is a previous emotional attachment required for one to effectively send/receive another's 'emotional support?'  If not, is one's support 'stronger' if one has a previous emotional attachment?  As such, is one's support 'weaker' without a previous emotional interaction?




P.s. my internet availability these days is limited, so if this topic has been broached previously, i apologize; currently, briefly using the search function but not finding much off-hand


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channel your inner Larry David


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Invisibleredgreenvines
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Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
Re: Emotional Support [Re: demiu5]
    #23897687 - 12/05/16 06:08 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

any attention will do, but if the need is great, you will get quite a ride as a little is never enough when you have emotional vortices.


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:confused: _ :brainfart:🧠  _ :finger:


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Registered: 10/31/04
Posts: 21,407
Loc: Building 7
Re: Emotional Support [Re: redgreenvines]
    #23897755 - 12/05/16 06:27 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

redgreenvines said:
any attention will do, but if the need is great, you will get quite a ride as a little is never enough when you have emotional vortices.




Any attention will do what?  Provide lip service when real action is needed?  This reminds me of all the people who feel the need to tell you to let them know if you need anything after mom died.  The same people were scavenging her possessions, wouldn't help to move jack shit, and as to emotional support other than lip service, doubtful.

It's only because folks feel bad for themselves having to feel bad for someone else and not really willing to offer real help that they even offer their bullshit emotional support in the first place.  So, they make a big display of all that empathy and that's all it is.  A big nothing.  The real helpers won't even offer their emotional support, they will be by your side moving furniture.  I think they are called family members who had no choice, or want the furniture.


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Anxiety is what you make it.


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Offlinesprinkles
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Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state Flag
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Re: Emotional Support [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #23897773 - 12/05/16 06:30 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

i have diemu5 on ignore so I cant see what he's crying about, but whatever it is i am sure he has it coming.  you reap what you sow you know.  No sympathy here.


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Invisibledemiu5
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Registered: 08/18/05
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Re: Emotional Support [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #23907264 - 12/08/16 02:49 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Quote:

redgreenvines said:
any attention will do, but if the need is great, you will get quite a ride as a little is never enough when you have emotional vortices.




Any attention will do what?  Provide lip service when real action is needed?.....and as to emotional support other than lip service, doubtful.




great question, i'd love for RGV to clarify "what" it will do.


Quote:


It's only because folks feel bad for themselves having to feel bad for someone else and not really willing to offer real help that they even offer their bullshit emotional support in the first place.  So, they make a big display of all that empathy and that's all it is.  A big nothing.  The real helpers won't even offer their emotional support, they will be by your side moving furniture.  I think they are called family members who had no choice, or want the furniture.






this is how i see it, but i was being optimistic that someone could provide something to the contrary, even if anecdotal personal experience


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channel your inner Larry David


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InvisibleLunarEclipse
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Re: Emotional Support [Re: demiu5]
    #23907757 - 12/08/16 05:17 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

demiu5 said:
Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Quote:

redgreenvines said:
any attention will do, but if the need is great, you will get quite a ride as a little is never enough when you have emotional vortices.




Any attention will do what?  Provide lip service when real action is needed?.....and as to emotional support other than lip service, doubtful.




great question, i'd love for RGV to clarify "what" it will do.


Quote:


It's only because folks feel bad for themselves having to feel bad for someone else and not really willing to offer real help that they even offer their bullshit emotional support in the first place.  So, they make a big display of all that empathy and that's all it is.  A big nothing.  The real helpers won't even offer their emotional support, they will be by your side moving furniture.  I think they are called family members who had no choice, or want the furniture.






this is how i see it, but i was being optimistic that someone could provide something to the contrary, even if anecdotal personal experience




This used to be a debate forum, now one gets called "a dick" for being brutally honest.  It's amazing anymore the amount of bullshit fluff being handed out, the cotton candy crew.  You will get no response to your second request, that one has never debated in good faith from what I can see.  Just keeps drinking the Kool Aid, likes cherry the best.


--------------------
Anxiety is what you make it.


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Invisibledemiu5
humans, lol
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Registered: 08/18/05
Posts: 43,948
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Re: Emotional Support [Re: LunarEclipse]
    #23908274 - 12/08/16 07:54 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Quote:

demiu5 said:
Quote:

LunarEclipse said:
Quote:

redgreenvines said:
any attention will do, but if the need is great, you will get quite a ride as a little is never enough when you have emotional vortices.




Any attention will do what?  Provide lip service when real action is needed?.....and as to emotional support other than lip service, doubtful.




great question, i'd love for RGV to clarify "what" it will do.


Quote:


It's only because folks feel bad for themselves having to feel bad for someone else and not really willing to offer real help that they even offer their bullshit emotional support in the first place.  So, they make a big display of all that empathy and that's all it is.  A big nothing.  The real helpers won't even offer their emotional support, they will be by your side moving furniture.  I think they are called family members who had no choice, or want the furniture.






this is how i see it, but i was being optimistic that someone could provide something to the contrary, even if anecdotal personal experience




This used to be a debate forum, now one gets called "a dick" for being brutally honest.  It's amazing anymore the amount of bullshit fluff being handed out, the cotton candy crew.  You will get no response to your second request, that one has never debated in good faith from what I can see.  Just keeps drinking the Kool Aid, likes cherry the best.





brutal honesty is often the best method to pave open communication [in the long term]....once the person who chooses to allow their "feelings" to be hurt changes course and is willing to step back up to the table, or what have you


fortunately, i can be a dick so it is entirely applicable.  i was more expecting someone to call me a sociopath, though, as if  there's something inherently wrong with being a [non-violent] sociopath


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channel your inner Larry David


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 15 hours, 47 minutes
Re: Emotional Support [Re: demiu5]
    #23930942 - 12/15/16 09:09 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

In my opinion to be emotionally supportive is not to offer advice or recommendations.

To be emotionally supportive is not to validate someone's perspective. 

Compassionate advice and recommendations are supportive - but that's different.

Emotional support is to be totally present with some else's experience.

Of course people will say, "Well, what the hell? How will that help?"

Fact is, rarely do we want emotional support. We usually want validation.


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OfflineAikinator
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Registered: 12/20/16
Posts: 13
Last seen: 4 years, 11 months
Re: Emotional Support [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23946336 - 12/21/16 02:56 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
In my opinion to be emotionally supportive is not to offer advice or recommendations.

To be emotionally supportive is not to validate someone's perspective. 

Compassionate advice and recommendations are supportive - but that's different.

Emotional support is to be totally present with some else's experience.

Of course people will say, "Well, what the hell? How will that help?"

Fact is, rarely do we want emotional support. We usually want validation.




Validation for what?
What is supposed to be validified?

Never understood this emotional support bullshit


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
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Last seen: 15 hours, 47 minutes
Re: Emotional Support [Re: Aikinator]
    #23949921 - 12/22/16 07:16 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

Aikinator said:

Validation for what?

What is supposed to be validified?





Seeking validation we are right. Seeking approval and confirmation from others.

You know, how when we complain, we look for people to support our perspective.

It is skillful and healthy to support each other by acknowledging our suffering.

(without condemning people, which simply fuels the fires of discontent.)


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