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InvisibleMidnight_Toker
Gone Fishin'
Male User Gallery

Registered: 09/26/10
Posts: 11,589
Loc: Canada Flag
"The Worst Gift"
    #23877603 - 11/29/16 08:58 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

My extended family usually does a Secret Santa when we do our Christmas dinner in December.  This year though, we all decided to pitch in on a donation to the shelter that my sister's been helping to develop in South America instead.  Now instead of not doing presents at all, it's been decided that we're doing a "worst gift" exchange.

The limit is supposed to be $10, but I figure if I think of or see a really good idea, I'm willing to pay ~$20.

Anyone have any ideas?  Anyone ever been given a terrible gift?

A couple that I've seen and liked are:
$10 worth of lottery tickets - but they've already been scratched and are losers.
A gift card for $10-20, but all identifying information is blacked out so they don't know where it's from.


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OfflineKing Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 7,267
Last seen: 7 months, 14 hours
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker]
    #23877610 - 11/29/16 09:02 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I was thinking an acrylic bong for my family's white elephant thing.


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Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul



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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker] * 1
    #23877633 - 11/29/16 09:10 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Lump of coal. I got this joke lump of coal years and years and years ago as a gift. It came with something else but yeah. It's kinda cool, it has this little lump of coal in a nice little baggy and a lil' book to read about it. I love the damn thing, I've kept it for almost 10 years, just waiting for the day I (sadly) pass it on to the next jackass.


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Invisiblelavod
Seal Whisperer
 User Gallery

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: larry.fisherman] * 2
    #23877651 - 11/29/16 09:16 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Give them a fart: http://sendajart.com/


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InvisibleCrazy_Horse
I’m Rick James, bitch!
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/15/16
Posts: 13,284
Loc: Hampsterdam
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker]
    #23877726 - 11/29/16 09:50 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Herpes


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Crazy_Horse] * 1
    #23877730 - 11/29/16 09:53 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

If they are Liberals, a Make America Great Again cap.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker]
    #23877742 - 11/29/16 09:59 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

A bible.


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©️


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Lucis]
    #23877749 - 11/29/16 10:02 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

A bible is a useful gift. Even if you are not a Christian, just opening it on a random page often supplies you with a life lesson.


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Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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OfflineKing Klick
That Guy Everyone Knows
Male User Gallery


Registered: 11/13/11
Posts: 7,267
Last seen: 7 months, 14 hours
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Asante]
    #23877788 - 11/29/16 10:15 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
A bible is a useful gift. Even if you are not a Christian, just opening it on a random page often supplies you with a life lesson.



So can Tom Sawyer


--------------------
Your god is dead, and I killed him.

When you’re lost, here I am. Forever with your soul



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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Asante]
    #23877808 - 11/29/16 10:20 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
A bible is a useful gift. Even if you are not a Christian, just opening it on a random page often supplies you with a life lesson.





I think I would rather teach the future generations myself, than rely on some outdated ideology, just my opinion. 

If you give someone a bible and they find truth in it, how far are they willing to go with their new found faith?  What if they think god is telling them to expunge the secular horde from the face of the planet?  I don't want any part in that.  I know that might not be to likely, but why would I take the risk?

If I really saw someone struggling in life, and I gave them a bible, it might make them feel like they "needed jesus" because they were that fucked up, which seems rather judgmental if you ask me.  I would rather be a good friend, and lead by example, the only thing a bible might be useful for, is toilet paper or to start a fire.


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©️


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Offlinespirit_shadow
Feature not a bug
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 10 hours, 7 minutes
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Lucis]
    #23877913 - 11/29/16 10:52 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

poopsenders.com :thumbup:


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ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011
Ban lotto


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InvisibleThayendanegea
quiet walker
Male User Gallery


Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation Flag
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Asante] * 1
    #23877915 - 11/29/16 10:53 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Asante said:
If they are Liberals Americans with a conscience., a Make America Great Again cap.




fixed


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Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better.

Albert Einstein


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: King Klick]
    #23877926 - 11/29/16 10:56 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

King Klick said:
Quote:

Asante said:
A bible is a useful gift. Even if you are not a Christian, just opening it on a random page often supplies you with a life lesson.



So can Tom Sawyer





Exactly, so, either makes a fine gift.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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InvisibleAsante
Mage
Male User Gallery

Registered: 02/06/02
Posts: 86,797
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Asante]
    #23877935 - 11/29/16 10:59 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Here's an idea..

A second hand Shake Weight.



The second hand part is the kicker and keeps it in budget.


--------------------
Omnicyclion.org
higher knowledge starts here


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Offlineweirdguy32
OTD shitstain
Male

Registered: 01/25/15
Posts: 4,397
Loc: Spicemaster SC
Last seen: 1 day, 23 minutes
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Asante]
    #23877968 - 11/29/16 11:14 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

VIPoo for your devils' doughnuts


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OfflineBrewmaster
Mescalero
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/27/06
Posts: 1,470
Loc: Richmond Flag
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: weirdguy32]
    #23877981 - 11/29/16 11:22 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Foreign currency....preferably from a country that no longer exists. Paper bills reading (?)10,000 but only equal $1.00 US.
That's what I got as a wedding gift.


--------------------
On storing pedro tea...

Brewmaster: Well, the mescaline will still be in there, but I'd be afraid of it conjealing and trying to escape after it grew in size from eating all the other shit in my fridge, and possibly my dogs if it got out.

Pithlit: sentient drugs, now that is an idea ...

OneMoreRobot: Idea? It's a fuckin' reality. You know Salvia? Nigga stole my TV.


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OfflineSoluminia
The mind is god
Male


Registered: 03/18/11
Posts: 3,978
Loc: CO
Last seen: 11 months, 15 days
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker]
    #23878056 - 11/29/16 11:52 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

A pair of old unwashed socks


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Invisibleabltsandwich
JFK = Jelly Donut
Female User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 06/16/09
Posts: 11,537
Loc: Dildoville
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker]
    #23878076 - 11/29/16 12:01 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

DNA sample (just jizz in a cup)
A signed bone
crime scene photos with inspiring messages written in metallic sharpie


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: abltsandwich]
    #23878084 - 11/29/16 12:04 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

abltsandwich said:

crime scene photos with inspiring messages written in metallic sharpie




A pic of someone who hanged themselves which says hang in there would be nice.:lol:


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©️


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OfflineShroomslip
Architekt
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 11/25/12
Posts: 23,651
Last seen: 5 hours, 49 minutes
Re: "The Worst Gift" [Re: Midnight_Toker] * 1
    #23878162 - 11/29/16 12:34 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Look up recipes for homemade catfish stink bait. Seal in an airtight bag and wrap it up in a way that when they open the present, they also open the sealed bag.


--------------------
With my face against the floor I can’t see who knocked me out of the way.
I don’t want to get back up but I have to so it might as well be today.
Nothing appeals to me no one feels like me, I’m too busy being calm to disappear.
I’m in no shape to be alone contrary to the shit that you might hear.


You can't wake up, this is not a dream. You're part of a machine, you are not a human being
With your face all made up, living on a screen. Low on self esteem, so you run on gasoline


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