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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Cyclical behavior
    #2387703 - 02/29/04 12:13 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

They say people who were abused as kids have a higher chance of abusing their children when they have them or something like that. Correct me if im wrong.

To me things like this doesn't make any sense. I was abused a bit as a child but because of that I know what it's like and would never want to abuse any possible future children of mine. So what the fuck.  :wtf:


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InvisibleNariusFractal
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2387712 - 02/29/04 12:18 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It's learned behavior, and trauma from the experiences causes you to be attracted or only comfortable with people who exhibit those abusive behaviors. There are some people that break the cycle, of course that is entirely possible and the main goal for therapists. Sadly, most will continue the wheel over and over and over and...


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2387713 - 02/29/04 12:18 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

While it is true that "some" people, who were abused as children, grow up to abuse their own children (a "true positive"), to say that all people who were abused as children will abuse their own children is a "false positive".

It's not true. But have you ever heard the phrase in the bible that "the sins of the father are visited upon the children"? It's true that those who are abused are most likely to abuse their own children, but this doesn't mean that all people who were abused will abuse.

Many people can and do break the cycle of abuse.


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The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: NariusFractal]
    #2387730 - 02/29/04 12:26 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Quote:

sheister said:
It's learned behavior, and trauma from the experiences causes you to be attracted or only comfortable with people who exhibit those abusive behaviors.




Is this possibly subconcious? Like, a lot of my ex girlfriend have been raped or are depressed and they are usually really really fucked up. I don't even know it about them till we date. My friend said maybe I pick up on body language subconciously. Something like that.


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InvisibleNariusFractal
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2387738 - 02/29/04 12:29 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

YES! Cuz I have the same damn problem.  I am stable and really compassionate.  Plus, the women in my family have been abused sexually/physically and for some reason I have attracted and connected deeply with women whom share this past. 

It is very revealing, so to speak, this notion of our actions affecting the future.

:crying:


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: NariusFractal]
    #2387744 - 02/29/04 12:31 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

It's sad. I always get a girlfriend and they always have a lot of baggage. It's rough but I always get so connected to them and fuck. It's insane.


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OfflineFrog
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2387745 - 02/29/04 12:31 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

Yes, we pick up on body language. It's subconscious.

I know a woman who keeps picking men who beat her up. What are the chances of that? Not many. Except that she picks up on their subtle behaviors which indicate that they are domineering and abusive.

What we learn as children, we act out as adults. If we are abused as children, we will keep seeking approval from our abusers. When we grow up, we will subconsciously pick people from whom to get approval, but who are really actually abusive. This enables the people who were abused as children to continue to act out their childhoods, or be "comfortably uncomfortable".


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: Frog]
    #2387749 - 02/29/04 12:35 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

That's so fucked up but makes so much sense it gives me the chills. Women beaters and shit piss me off. Especially with this one chick I really like. She like loves her boyfriend yet he treats her like shit and everyone knows I would treat her so much better yet she clings to him and keeps going back to him. Sometimes they break up but they always get back. It's frusterating, especially since they've never even met. Jeez.


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InvisibleNariusFractal
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2387753 - 02/29/04 12:36 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

she's crazy, run away and never look back


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
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Re: Cyclical behavior [Re: NariusFractal]
    #2387758 - 02/29/04 12:41 AM (13 years, 1 month ago)

haha


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