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Anonymous #1

Still love someone years later
    #23873226 - 11/27/16 07:51 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Around 6 years ago I met this girl I really liked and ended up loving her very much but I ended up going to jail and we went our separate ways.
Since then Ive been in other relationships but ive never really cared for the people I was with like I did this girl. I would still think of her and sometimes even have dreams of being with her.
Even while I was with someone else I couldn't feel love for them, It always felt like friends with benefits..

I still feel like I love her after all this time and its confusing and frustrating as we only talk occasionally. I get this desire to try to get back with her and noone else.
I know she still cares about me although I dont know to what extent.

Is it normal for me to still feel this love for this girl I've only occasionally seen and talked to over the course of 5 years? Even when im in a relationship with a different girl?
Should I start talking to her more? Should I tell her how I feel?


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #23873236 - 11/27/16 07:55 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

IMO, and I have learned this very much the hard way, you should learn to not need to be with a girl. You should learn to love you and just be happy with you.

When/if that happens, I'd put money on the fact that the girl of your dreams walks into your life shortly after. Could be her, could be another.

Probably not at all what you want to hear, or what culture programs us to believe, but I feel this to be an ultimate truth.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23873245 - 11/27/16 07:57 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I agree with ya 100% man but thats the thing, Ive tried hard to forget this girl but I cant.. Its like it comes and goes in waves I wont think about her for a month or 2 then I will have this dream about her out of nowhere and miss her again.
I would have thought after all this time I would have stopped caring about her.

I just talked to her the other day and were gonna meet up and hang out when she gets back to this state.
Im going to try talking to her more and eventually make a move. I need closure. Gonna follow my gut on this thanks for the advice, Working on loving myself and being happy with myself is goal#1


Edited by Anonymous (11/27/16 08:08 PM)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873297 - 11/27/16 08:13 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I'd advise forgetting the whole thought train of ever 'making a move'. Just meet her as a friend and and friend only, else I'd give it a 99.9& chance you're gonna fuck it up.

You need to get over her man. Only if you can/do, might something happen. This has been my exact experience with the woman who eventually became my wife and changed my life in every way possible. We were friends for 13 years before, and there was a time between us, but it was not the right time. Only when I moved on from that did she come into my world and turn it upside down, causing me to change everything about myself for the better.

I say this to you from the very bottom of my heart. Please let her go.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873317 - 11/27/16 08:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Easier said than done! =)

I wont "make a move" I mean more like ask her if she wants to get some food or something lol. Im definitely still gonna go see her but I will do my best to take your advice man. Just be a friend ya know.

As for letting her go it would be impossible for me to stop caring for her, That I know I cant do but as for loving her I dont love her like I used to but the feeling is still there.

My question to you is how could I care about this person and want this person but not pursue it? Wouldnt that be worse than fucking it up?


Edited by Anonymous (11/27/16 08:25 PM)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1] * 2
    #23873371 - 11/27/16 08:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

It's called unconditional love. I had to go through the most gut wrenching, soul tearing, self harming depression fuck shit cunt time of my life to understand it.

When you just love her, no matter where she is, who she's with, what she's done, doing or ever could do, but that in no ways ties in to wanting to be 'with' her, you'll know you've got it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23873392 - 11/27/16 08:37 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Well said man.
I've tried to not want her before. I can forget about it for a couple months but a dream, a picture something will always get me thinking about her again.
I guess I just need to fight the urge to want to be with her and focus more on getting my life together.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873409 - 11/27/16 08:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I guess I just need to fight the urge to want to be with her and focus more on getting my life together.



Unfortunately, as fucking hard as it is. Hardest thing I've ever had to do in my life by far, and I'm still not all the way there. Nearly, but not quite. The dreams don't help, but it is what it is.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23873420 - 11/27/16 08:45 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Dont you ever feel like you could have done it differently? Why does it have to be guaranteed to not work?
I know she still cares about me, I have plans to meet up with her, Cant I just start fresh like if it was day 1? or would that be dishonest?


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873432 - 11/27/16 08:51 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Cause life, when investigated in depth enough down any path, is by its very nature paradoxical. I wish I could say something more tangible, but years and years of study render me with little more than this observation and conclusion. It is also that of many far, far wiser than myself.

What's done is done, you cannot start afresh. You have to work with what you have now and to achieve the outcome you really want you often must do what is most counterintuitive.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23873446 - 11/27/16 08:57 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Should I try to talk to her more and try to become closer friends or just still basically never talk to her?
Seems like if I dont go spend any time with her and never talk to her it will be a lost cause.

Thanks for the advice man, Its nice being able to talk about this shit with someone.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873506 - 11/27/16 09:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You're welcome brother, that's what we're here as a community for.

I don't think it matters much what you actually 'do' with her, as long as you obviously treat her as you would any friend. I think what matters wholly is what you're doing with you.

Do you truly love, honour and respect yourself? Are you your own best friend? Do you feel you've looked at your whole self, every ugly and beautiful aspect of your human condition, accepted it all as it is, and committed to achieving your true potential, not matter how hard or how scary that may be?

If the answer to any of those is no, then you're not ready for the woman of your dreams. Sure you can find a mediocre relationship and/or sex, that shit is ten-a-penny out there, as you and I have both already found out.

But you want the real deal, you gotta do the real work.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23873555 - 11/27/16 09:38 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Right now im not happy with myself. I've been lazy and dont have a job dont have my car on the road. Thats all being changed, I deleted the addictive ass video games I play im gonna start making something of myself. Been looking hard for a job thats step #1

I believe your right man I need to get to the point that I respect myself and can take care of myself.
In the meantime Im going to try to talk to her more, not for a relationship, I miss her as a friend.
In the future when I have more respect for myself maybe things can be more than that.

Thanks again for the talk man good luck with your ventures =)


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873586 - 11/27/16 09:47 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Thanks again for the talk man good luck with your ventures =)



Thank you too man. I'm giving up almost everything I know to move to the other side of the planet in a few weeks in order to find what we're talking about, and I'm fuckin' terrified of the shit I gotta face in myself before I know I'm ready. Fuck, maybe it'll all come easy when I really get my head stuck into it in the right environment. Who knows. I'm making the effort and I'm facing my fears. Can't really go wrong with that combo IME.

Best of luck in yours too.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23873599 - 11/27/16 09:52 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I miss her as a friend.



BTW, I have lots of friends I miss very deeply. Sometimes you just have to let them go. That's what true love is. Love want's nothing in return.

Just bear that in mind if it doesn't go how you want it to. Hey, maybe it will, but it's very unlikely to if you're 'not happy with myself'.

Personally, I'd stick to a phone call and wait until you are before you see her. She'll very likely see straight through it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23873731 - 11/27/16 10:51 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Not gonna let this friend go if it can be helped. I know its probably not the right thing to do, Its something that I cant help. Id rather her tell me to fuck off and never talk to her again than not try. I've got to try.

Talkin with you has shown me I need to definitely take care of myself first and that is what im going to do.

As for you make sure traveling across the world and leaving your family is worth what your going for. Family is definitely #1. Make sure you always have a way to come back home and good luck man! I really hope it works out for you.


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23874180 - 11/28/16 04:33 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I think you're crazy OP, its a mental aberration, forget it.


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Repertoire89]
    #23874188 - 11/28/16 04:45 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

A mental aberration that has stuck with me for 5 years and I have tried to forget it. why do you think im trying to find closure?
Do you really think its that strange I care about someone after 5 years?


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InvisibleRepertoire89
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Registered: 11/15/12
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Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23874215 - 11/28/16 05:33 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

No, I think its strange that you can't form attachments to other individuals.

Not trying to be negative, just saying I don't think its healthy at all to be unable to form attachments with other women, not a true love thing so much as a spiritual / mental health crises.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23874268 - 11/28/16 06:19 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Its something that I cant help.



Please don't self sabotage like this. Your actions are ALL you control in this world. You cannot control what's in your head, you cannot control the outer world. All you have is your interface between the two.

Of course you can help it. But, sometimes you have to learn the hard way, so I do not expect you to do the right thing here. I just hope you do, for both your sake and hers.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Repertoire89] * 1
    #23874515 - 11/28/16 08:39 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
IMO, and I have learned this very much the hard way, you should learn to not need to be with a girl. You should learn to love you and just be happy with you.






I agree with this.

I have told my family members this numerous times, to figure out who they are, I think it's solid advice everyone should practice.  If you can't be alone with your own thoughts and accept yourself for who you are, then you have issues you're trying to bury, and you will take these issues out on your next partner.

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
That's what true love is. Love want's nothing in return.






Word.

True love is unconditional, I agree, good stuff JSB.:thumbup:

Quote:

Anonymous said:
Right now im not happy with myself. I've been lazy and dont have a job dont have my car on the road. Thats all being changed, I deleted the addictive ass video games I play im gonna start making something of myself. Been looking hard for a job thats step #1

I believe your right man I need to get to the point that I respect myself and can take care of myself.
In the meantime Im going to try to talk to her more, not for a relationship, I miss her as a friend.
In the future when I have more respect for myself maybe things can be more than that.

Thanks again for the talk man good luck with your ventures =)




Anon1, how's your living situation?

Reason I ask, I am curious if you're around anyone that might be having a negative influence on you.  Sometime people get out of relationships, and are back around their family more which is very common.  That can be horrible because the person your family wanted you to be, is often not the person you really are, and they will bombard you with negativity while you're around them hoping to change you.

Might be a random question, but figured I would ask.




Quote:

Repertoire89 said:
No, I think its strange that you can't form attachments to other individuals.

Not trying to be negative, just saying I don't think its healthy at all to be unable to form attachments with other women, not a true love thing so much as a spiritual / mental health crises.




If OP can't form relationships with new girls, then that might be a concern, something is not being dealt with.

As far as having a hard time forming relationships with other people, it's not that strange if you read a little bit on the subject.

I will use my own life as an example, because I think it's best to use experiences you have learned from personally, to help others, someone might find truth in what is said.

Anyway, went through a breakup years ago, and have not dated since then, and am currently not trying to date, I will not date until I have a few more things smoothed out in my life because I feel like that would put strain on my life which I don't need, and I have taken this time to think many things through without outside influence.  I have taken time away from getting to know people in the state I have moved to, not for any strange reason, I just feel it's the best thing for me now until I am done with something which has been limiting me. 

I also want to be able to have something decent for myself, this way when I get in another relationship I will be able to provide properly for the girl.  My last relationship I sold pot for a while, then had numerous odd jobs here and there, I was young, dumb, and full of cum, and I didn't have good examples to follow as far as relationship issues go.  I am very loyal to girls, I don't cheat because I have seen the damage it caused to some of my family members, so I think the next relationship I get in will be important because I have learned so much from my last one.  This is why it's important for myself to work out my personal issues, and not to rush important decisions.  My family acts like I should be ravenous for some vagina to wrap around my cock, but I am looking at the big picture, and I feel like that's the proper adult thing to do. 

I am nice to anyone that engages me in conversation, but I don't actively seek friendships at the current moment, I have been like this my whole life, and as long as my mental health wasn't damaged, it was viewed as perfectly normal for an introvert as myself to be this way.  I have always met people to buddy up with when I was supposed to meet them if that makes sense, it's kind of like LSD, people say it finds its way into your life when it's supposed to, might be some hippie thing to say, but I have found it to be true.:lol:


So I have taken a much needed respite from certain activities, and it has been extremely beneficial to my mental health, and my physical health too.

OP, as long as you're not sitting there and being miserable, and you're not hating yourself, then you're fine, but if you enter a negative headspace, and this negative mindset keeps you away from people, then you should try to work out what's happening, maybe see someone who's unbiased that can help you understand what you're going through better.  Don't dwell on one relationship to much, you could become obsessed, which would not be healthy, just take your time in figuring your life out first, and as JSB stated above, things will fall into place. 

The worst thing you can do is rush into important life choices, there's no pressure man, don't fall prey to feeling like because those around you are in relationships, or moving ahead regarding important life matters, that you must rush to keep up, we're all different, and some of us get to a decent place in life faster than others do, we're not all supposed to be equal regarding such things.  It's like exercise, don't compare yourself to the person who's been doing it their whole life or who's genetically superior for being a beast, figure out what you're good at, and build from there.



No rush man.


--------------------
©️


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Lucis]
    #23875747 - 11/28/16 05:10 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks man.
Im going to work on my own life until im comfortable with everything. Got to look out for me first, Hard not to be miserable sometimes but I guess thats just life.
My main goal is to stop being a negative nancy and start thinking positive and being a Doer.

Thanks everyone for the replies.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Lucis]
    #23876098 - 11/28/16 06:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:
I will use my own life as an example, because I think it's best to use experiences you have learned from personally, to help others, someone might find truth in what is said.

Anyway, went through a breakup years ago, and have not dated since then, and am currently not trying to date, I will not date until I have a few more things smoothed out in my life because I feel like that would put strain on my life which I don't need, and I have taken this time to think many things through without outside influence.  I have taken time away from getting to know people in the state I have moved to, not for any strange reason, I just feel it's the best thing for me now until I am done with something which has been limiting me.



Fen you wonderful fucking motherfucker you. I love you man, you're such a sound guy. I absolutely agree with everything you've said, and am on the exact same path as you right now.

One thing that interests me massively about your post though, is that you say you are an Introvert. Do you recall what % I you were when you took the test DQ posted in PS&P?

I was like 84% Extrovert. I was surprised, even though I already know I'm a massive Extrovert. As similar as our thought patterns seem to be on 95% of shit, I'm surprised at that difference.

Do you feel you can just walk up to, and bond with nearly anyone?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleRepertoire89
Cat
Male


Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
Re: Still love someone years later *DELETED* [Re: Lucis]
    #23877061 - 11/29/16 02:01 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Post deleted by Repertoire89

Reason for deletion: fuck it



Edited by Repertoire89 (11/29/16 02:06 AM)


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Anonymous #1

Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Repertoire89]
    #23877072 - 11/29/16 02:07 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Being alive is an aberration
This world is dumb. Im going to do what my gut tells me to and if its wrong so be it im done caring about it.


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23877731 - 11/29/16 09:53 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:


One thing that interests me massively about your post though, is that you say you are an Introvert. Do you recall what % I you were when you took the test DQ posted in PS&P?

I was like 84% Extrovert. I was surprised, even though I already know I'm a massive Extrovert. As similar as our thought patterns seem to be on 95% of shit, I'm surprised at that difference.

Do you feel you can just walk up to, and bond with nearly anyone?





38% introverted.

I do feel like I can bond with anyone, this is actually something I am very good at, my only problem is getting through the first few stages of talking to someone new, but once I start talking I tend to not shut up about what I am passionate about, or talking to others about what they are passionate about.  I want to know why people believe what they believe, and how they came to the conclusion that what they believe, was right for them.  Peoples brains interest me.


--------------------
©️


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23878580 - 11/29/16 03:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Fennario said:
I want to know why people believe what they believe, and how they came to the conclusion that what they believe, was right for them.  Peoples brains interest me.



Fucking Amen to that. The only thing that interests me more in this life than love itself is people.


Quote:

Anonymous said:
Im going to do what my gut tells me to and if its wrong so be it im done caring about it.



Keep us posted please man, I'd really appreciate hearing how things work out for you.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Offlinewicca mixer
Marmalade, I like marmalade :)
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Registered: 07/30/10
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Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23878820 - 11/29/16 04:38 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Real love is forever and without condition, and it is outside of the bounds of space and time. Some people will never experience it during their life time, and probably wish they could experience it. It is definitely something special.


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Offlinefinalexplosion
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Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: wicca mixer]
    #23881285 - 11/30/16 11:18 AM (7 years, 1 month ago)

The sort of girl you stick with is, the on you end up in jail, and she is waiting for you with her legs closed. In todays world, that is far from the case, and the idea of monogamy only looms overhead once people fear being alone.


--------------------
The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.


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OfflineAlyssa
consecrated woman ✝️
Female
Registered: 11/25/14
Posts: 1,517
Last seen: 6 days, 3 hours
Re: Still love someone years later [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23908281 - 12/08/16 07:55 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Tell her! Maybe she feels the same for you, or even if not, she might be interested. Be confident and convey the power of the emotions you're feeling for her without being overwhelming.


--------------------
I'm Alyssa.
I'm consecrated to the Immaculate Heart.
I don't want her to have to look at adultery to save my privileged living cells, so please keep it PG-13.


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