Home | Community | Message Board

Avalon Magic Plants
This site includes paid links. Please support our sponsors.


Welcome to the Shroomery Message Board! You are experiencing a small sample of what the site has to offer. Please login or register to post messages and view our exclusive members-only content. You'll gain access to additional forums, file attachments, board customizations, encrypted private messages, and much more!

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Capsules   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Buy Kratom Powder & Leaf   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

Jump to first unread post Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4  [ show all ]
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Why Do I hate myself so much
    #23858216 - 11/22/16 06:09 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I took 40mg of oxy when I really shouldnt.... im sorry... im really sad :frown:

Im so tired of being stressed and anxious about everything all the time. I know what my issues are but I cant do anything about them.

Im deathly afraid of being alone yet I push people away because im scared they wont like me. I get way to attached to girls way to fast. When someone doesnt talk to me even for  a week I get so scared because I think they dont like me. I endlessly worry of little things people say and assume they are subtly telling me they dont like me.

I have no self esteem. none. I just dont know how to fix it. I dont want to be alone... but im just so broken. Im just useless piece of shit who cant do anything but sit around doing opiates because its the only time my mind is quiet and I can just sit by myself and not have to worry what people think of me.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23858232 - 11/22/16 06:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You'll be alright man :thumbup: theres friends for everyone out there


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: L_iggins]
    #23858242 - 11/22/16 06:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

L_iggins said:
You'll be alright man :thumbup: theres friends for everyone out there




But im just so paralyzed with anxiety. Ive never asked anyone to really be friends with me because im so fucking scared they wont like me.

The only friends ive ever made had to ask me to be friends and even then I basically needed them to constantly tell me that we still are friends.

I feel like I dont deserve friends or a girlfriend. Im just so unlikable.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblepineninja
Dream Weaver
 User Gallery


Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South Flag
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858255 - 11/22/16 06:25 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

In your current headspace perhaps.
I have people whom a get along with quite well simply because I/we haven't felt the need to validate our friendships with words.....the very fact we are conversing by choice and will at some stage in the future means enough to me.
Stop over thinking yourself and try to give the opiates a rest they aren't helping and will continue to hinder until you do.


--------------------
Just a fool on the hill.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSinSemilla
Stranger
Registered: 10/31/16
Posts: 51
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858259 - 11/22/16 06:26 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I'm riddled with anxiety , my ego is weak and powerless from years of emotional abuse which is now deep inside my sub conscious mind.  I never had a gf , shitty job , feel like shit.. you name it my problem is I don't make the effort to make friends or keep in contact with anyone, I never call my brothers or my friends .... I rather be alone now that's scary


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleAhab McBathsalts
OTD Windmill Administrator
Other User Gallery Ultimate Champion: Blackjack


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 11/25/02
Posts: 35,109
Loc: Wind Turbine, AB Flag
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 3
    #23858327 - 11/22/16 06:46 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Get sober.


--------------------
"Nobody exists on purpose. Nobody belongs anywhere. Everybody's going to die."


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSinSemilla
Stranger
Registered: 10/31/16
Posts: 51
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Ahab McBathsalts]
    #23858336 - 11/22/16 06:50 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Ahab McBathsalts said:
Get sober.



Everything in moderation


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Ahab McBathsalts]
    #23858341 - 11/22/16 06:51 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

pineninja said:
In your current headspace perhaps.
I have people whom a get along with quite well simply because I/we haven't felt the need to validate our friendships with words.....the very fact we are conversing by choice and will at some stage in the future means enough to me.
Stop over thinking yourself and try to give the opiates a rest they aren't helping and will continue to hinder until you do.




At the moment im just way to attached to this girl.
Quote:

Ahab McBathsalts said:
Get sober.




I WAS SOBER FFS .I was doing really well and been clean for while now. But sometimes when I try literally every thing else. Its the only thing that gives me relief from myself.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23858344 - 11/22/16 06:52 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I keep a pretty tight circle, I think thats the best way to do it. Find some cool people you know actually like talking with you! Just gotta get out there friend :smile:


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecrackbaby
shitpost aficionado
Male


Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 12,994
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23858365 - 11/22/16 06:56 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

hang in there brother...I can relate somewhat to what you describe, since i tend to be overly analytical and was always pretty insecure up until fairly recently (still tend to struggle with a bit of social anxiety).  I believe the term used to describe people who are wired this way is 'hypervigilant' (i used to listen to Adam Carolla's radio show years ago, and he would always mention how he had this affliction).

I think we all have a dual nature (animal vs spiritual), and it's easy to dwell upon your animal aspect and feel like a low life when you have a super sensitive mind, as well as project this sense of self on the way you think others percieve you.  One thing i think helps with this is meditation, so you learn to find your center and cultivate a stronger connection to your core.  Also, if things get really bad i think temporary use of anti anxiety meds can be helpful.


--------------------
:awedance:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: L_iggins]
    #23858372 - 11/22/16 06:59 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

L_iggins said:
I keep a pretty tight circle, I think thats the best way to do it. Find some cool people you know actually like talking with you! Just gotta get out there friend :smile:




But thats the thing. Even people who I know like talking to me make me so scared because there is always doubt in my head that they are secretly just pitying me or being nice or something.

Its just literally impossible for me to believe that anyone would want to be around me.


I just want someone to hold me and tell me its ok  :feelingblue:


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineCanadian Jesus
I'll Be Back. I'm Back.
Male


Registered: 07/10/16
Posts: 4,447
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 7 months, 20 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858373 - 11/22/16 06:59 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I know how you feel man. In the last year I finally got out of a relationship with an emotionally abusive girlfriend who totally killed my confidence and self esteem. I'm also a recently recovered opiate addict and when I went on methadone and finally cleared up my head I realized how few friends I actually have. I'm down to 2 true friends right now. I don't really know where to go from here either. I want to finish my high school and go to college, but I have so much anxiety about that I keep finding reasons to push it off.

I feel your pain brother.


--------------------
What's the crime if I snort a line, smoke, toke shoot it up all at the same time?



SunnyD said:
Definitely have more respect for sheekle than I do for unjust laws


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLove_spirit
Circle Of Power
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858411 - 11/22/16 07:10 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Your mind is playing a con game on you. None of it is real.
Wouldn't matter if all you had is enemies, you can still
enjoy yourself.
Don't quit the drugs, life is always changing, sometime you may find another fix.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858424 - 11/22/16 07:15 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

i think you'll know if you meet them man, ones that dont make you feel like that believe me


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)


Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: L_iggins]
    #23858506 - 11/22/16 07:39 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)



True love will find you in the end
You'll find out just who was your friend
Don't be sad, I know you will,
But don't give up until
True love will find you in the end
This is a promise with a catch
Only if you're looking can it find you
'Cause true love is searching too
But how can it recognize you
Unless you step out into the light?
Don't be sad i know you will
But don't give up until
True love finds you in the end.

:hug:


--------------------
Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. 
EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMrBlueYoMind
Don't do drugs (Without me)


Registered: 04/27/11
Posts: 3,753
Last seen: 1 month, 26 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: MrBlueYoMind]
    #23858570 - 11/22/16 08:01 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Another one  (I'm posting these so you know there's others that can relate)

Daniel Johnston - Loner



I wish I could be as happy as you
I wish I could have as much fun as you do
I wish I could be your friend
but I-I-I'm afraid

I wish I had my own way
but I rarely do
but I wish I had my way with you
I'm a loner - oh oh - loner

Been a loner since high school - oh yeah
and a loner ain't no fool - oh yeah
I'm a loner - oh - eh - eheh

Be a loner in a crowded room - oh yeah
take me to an ocean, I'll be loner still
but I wish I could be your friend
I'm a loner - uh - uh

I'm a loner in my car - oh yeah
sometimes it gets scary - oh yeah
been a loner since high school - oh yeah
and a loner ain't no fool - oh yeah

But I wish I could be as happy as you
and I wish I could have as much fun as you do
I wish I could be your friend
but I-I-I'm afraid

I'm a loner
I'm a loner - uh
lone, lone, lone,
lone, lone, lone, lone
uh-uuh, uh-uuh, loner, uh
I'm a loner


--------------------
Confucius say: He who sticks drugs in butthole has head up ass. 
EVOLUTION REQUIRES REPRODUCTION


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858649 - 11/22/16 08:20 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

There's no need to stress or worry. You are a child of God and a mathematical impossibility no matter how you see it.
Start eating right, drinking plenty or water, exercise regularly, and get enough sleep and you'll be golden. Literally. Much love brother.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePatrickKn
I'm a teapot

Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead] * 1
    #23858685 - 11/22/16 08:34 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Shiithead said:
You are a child of God and a mathematical impossibility no matter how you see it.








If what you're saying is true, I've been lied to on the mathematics of it all.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,363
Loc: The Inexpressible... Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 30 minutes
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23858695 - 11/22/16 08:36 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

sounds pretty awful man.

I would seek a mental health professional. U need therapy and treatment. Hopefully u can afford it as its very expensive.

Get some professional help before u put a bullet in your brain. Seriously.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
:sunny::bliss::mushroom2: Oregon Eclipse Festival 2017 :: Aug 19th - 21st :: Pure Paradise :mushroom2::bliss::sunny: :rainbowdrink: Very Effective LSA Extraction Tek :rainbowdrink: | 💧 Advanced Cold Water LSA Extraction Method 💧 | :cacti::bongload: Mescajuana - Mescaline with Marijuana | DMT Dab Bongs | UFO Technology! :shpongle:Shpongle:shpongle:   


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: PatrickKn]
    #23858706 - 11/22/16 08:39 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

How many sperm in an ejaculation?? We all pretty much won the lottery.

Think about about your parents now and all the factors that went into them meeting and copulating the day/night you were conceived. Now think of their parents. It is hard to imagine those odds.

That's why I gamble lol


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: LogicaL Chaos]
    #23858731 - 11/22/16 08:46 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

LogicaL Chaos said:
sounds pretty awful man.

I would seek a mental health professional. U need therapy and treatment. Hopefully u can afford it as its very expensive.

Get some professional help before u put a bullet in your brain. Seriously.




I am I see a regular drug counselor like every week and I also see another worker for mental health and relationships.

I dont give a fuck how "lucky" I am. Im so miserable and stressed it makes me physically ill.

I have inferior genes, im ugly, i have no confidence, im an addict, i hate myself and no one wants to be around me because of this


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecrackbaby
shitpost aficionado
Male


Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 12,994
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23858739 - 11/22/16 08:48 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Shiithead said:
How many sperm in an ejaculation?? We all pretty much won the lottery.

Think about about your parents now and all the factors that went into them meeting and copulating the day/night you were conceived. Now think of their parents. It is hard to imagine those odds.

That's why I gamble lol




c,mon maaaann...why you gotta go and make me think of my parents and grandparents humping :crankey:


--------------------
:awedance:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858779 - 11/22/16 09:12 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Don't worry about the oxy, that is NBD, especially if you're not really sick.

I've struggled with self hatred, anxiety, addiction, depression, all that for as long as I can remember.  I have been doing pretty well since I have sworn off women and started taking a once daily kratom dose.  I don't know if you've ever tried maintaining on kratom but it is the only thing that seems to keep the cravings at bay for me with minimal life issues that usually come from opioids.  Took me a little bit to actually commit to making the switch, I was just planning to use it to fill in the gaps I think, but I eventually found I was much happier on it compared to my previous lifestyle.

Never give up fighting man.  I know it is hard sometimes but no matter how bad it seems it could always be worse, and even then there is still reason for hope.  I'm sorry you're suffering, never hesitate to reach out because there are people that care about you.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice
Male

Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 30 days, 13 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858786 - 11/22/16 09:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Change the way you think, simple.  Do positive, productive things with your time.  Look in the mirror and see what you want to change,,,, and change it.  :wink:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23858787 - 11/22/16 09:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Don't worry about the oxy, that is NBD, especially if you're not really sick.

I've struggled with self hatred, anxiety, addiction, depression, all that for as long as I can remember.  I have been doing pretty well since I have sworn off women and started taking a once daily kratom dose.  I don't know if you've ever tried maintaining on kratom but it is the only thing that seems to keep the cravings at bay for me with minimal life issues that usually come from opioids.  Took me a little bit to actually make the switch but since I have I don't think my life has ever been better.

Never give up fighting man.  I know it is hard sometimes but no matter how bad it seems it could always be worse, and even then there is still reason for hope.  I'm sorry you're suffering, never hesitate to reach out because there are people that care about you.




Kratom is illegal and since its a big fat powder it basically impossible to get it through customs.

ive tried reaching out to the very very few friends i have and there kinda giving me nothing/its not helping.


Theres only one person that im way to attached to that could make me feel better. I messaged her because I think I really need to sort things out with her.... Im just so afraid that if I leave her its going to get even worse. I know im attached to her unhealthy. But shes the only thing that kept me sober and the only thing that gave me any sort of purpose or happiness :frown:


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: RobZombie68]
    #23858792 - 11/22/16 09:17 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

RobZombie68 said:
Change the way you think, simple.  Do positive, productive things with your time.  Look in the mirror and see what you want to change,,,, and change it.  :wink:




yea ill change my disgusting face.... thats totally possible. dont you think I would have changed my thinking if I could :frown: im sorry thats harsh but im hurt :frown:


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJufin
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/31/08
Posts: 5,116
Loc: Australia
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23858804 - 11/22/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:
I took 40mg of oxy when I really shouldnt.... im sorry... im really sad :frown:

Im so tired of being stressed and anxious about everything all the time. I know what my issues are but I cant do anything about them.

Im deathly afraid of being alone yet I push people away because im scared they wont like me. I get way to attached to girls way to fast. When someone doesnt talk to me even for  a week I get so scared because I think they dont like me. I endlessly worry of little things people say and assume they are subtly telling me they dont like me.

I have no self esteem. none. I just dont know how to fix it. I dont want to be alone... but im just so broken. Im just useless piece of shit who cant do anything but sit around doing opiates because its the only time my mind is quiet and I can just sit by myself and not have to worry what people think of me.



It honestly sounds like you're on the path to recovery, because you're being brutally honest with yourself.  And from there, you can sculpt yourself into a person you love.  Also, exercise. It fixes a lot.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRobZombie68
The Shaman's Apprentice
Male

Registered: 06/22/14
Posts: 820
Loc: Palookaville, US
Last seen: 30 days, 13 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858805 - 11/22/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:
Quote:

RobZombie68 said:
Change the way you think, simple.  Do positive, productive things with your time.  Look in the mirror and see what you want to change,,,, and change it.  :wink:




yea ill change my disgusting face.... thats totally possible. dont you think I would have changed my thinking if I could :frown: im sorry thats harsh but im hurt :frown:




You are too negative, it is the Law of Attraction.  When the light comes from you people will be attracted like moths to a flame.  "Change your mind"


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: RobZombie68]
    #23858819 - 11/22/16 09:26 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

RobZombie68 said:
Quote:

kakashi68 said:
Quote:

RobZombie68 said:
Change the way you think, simple.  Do positive, productive things with your time.  Look in the mirror and see what you want to change,,,, and change it.  :wink:




yea ill change my disgusting face.... thats totally possible. dont you think I would have changed my thinking if I could :frown: im sorry thats harsh but im hurt :frown:




You are too negative, it is the Law of Attraction.  When the light comes from you people will be attracted like moths to a flame.  "Change your mind"




As I said I know this.

How the fuck am I just meant to say "oh im just going to forget all this pain and just love myself even though no one else does.

Why have I not thought of this or done this in the past 5 years or so that ive been feeling like this?

come on its really not that simple...


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePatrickKn
I'm a teapot

Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: crackbaby]
    #23858820 - 11/22/16 09:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Do you regularly excercise Kakashi? I was depressed for years (from the age of 17 to 24), and had anxiety attacks so bad that I'd hyperventilate quite often and have trouble talking on the phone even with family and stuff. The last two years or so I excercise regularly and eat well (cook or prepare a majority of my meals these days as opposed to eating out constantly) and my depression practically ceased to exist. It's not the fix all solution for everyone, some people are more predisposed to depression and anxiety even with healthy habits, but it certainly worked out well for myself.

I also stopped using harder drugs and alcohol as frequently, and abused them pretty hard for many years. I might drink once every few months as opposed to several times a week, don't get all coked up anymore ever, and might roll on ecstasy a couple times in a year instead of several times a week. I still enjoy psychedelics pretty frequently, and don't think they contribute to depression for myself.

I cook more meals than I eat out, which years ago isn't something I did.

I've never struggled with opiate addiction though, can't even imagine really. But I think without regular excercise it's much easier to fall into addictive habits, and relapse. I don't plan on working night shifts for the rest of my life so long as I can help it, that too contributed a lot to depressive feelings for me. When I say regular excercise, I mean like 6 or 7 times a week - running/cardio and muscular workouts. I'm not a meat head or anything, far from it. I just get regular excercise. After literally years of not doing any excercise whatsoever, smoking weed throughout the day, drinking constantly, eating like shit, not drinking adequate water, getting shitty sleep - it's really no wonder I was depressed and at times suicidal. I had trouble socializing with all but a few as well, as it could be nerve wracking for me.

It's cliche to say most of that though, and when I read other people saying it, it left a bad taste in my mouth. But it really turned my life on it's head and changed my outlook.


Edited by PatrickKn (11/22/16 09:34 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJufin
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/31/08
Posts: 5,116
Loc: Australia
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: PatrickKn]
    #23858824 - 11/22/16 09:29 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

PatrickKn said:
Do you regularly excercise Kakashi? I was depressed for years, and had anxiety attacks so bad that I'd hyperventilate quite often and have trouble talking on the phone even with family and stuff. The last two years or so I excercise regularly and eat well (cook or prepare a majority of my meals these days as opposed to eating out constantly) and my depression practically ceased to exist. It's not the fix all solution for everyone, some people are more predisposed to depression and anxiety even with healthy habits, but it certainly worked out well for myself.

I also stopped using harder drugs and alcohol as frequently, and abused them pretty hard for many years. I might drink once every few months as opposed to several times a week, don't get all coked up anymore ever, and might roll on ecstasy a couple times in a year instead of several times a week. I still enjoy psychedelics pretty frequently, and don't think they contribute to depression for myself.

I cook more meals than I eat out, which years ago isn't something I did.

I've never struggled with opiate addiction though, can't even imagine really. But I think without regular excercise it's much easier to fall into addictive habits, and relapse. I don't plan on working night shifts for the rest of my life so long as I can help it, that too contributed a lot to depressive feelings for me. When I say regular excercise, I mean like 6 or 7 times a week - running/cardio and muscular workouts. I'm not a meat head or anything, far from it. I just get regular excercise. After literally years of not doing any excercise whatsoever, smoking weed throughout the day, drinking constantly, eating like shit, not drinking adequate water, getting shitty sleep - it's really no wonder I was depressed and at times suicidal. I had trouble socializing with all but a few as well, as it could be nerve wracking for me.

It's cliche to say most of that though, and when I read other people saying it, it left a bad taste in my mouth. But it really turned my life on it's head and changed my outlook.



This.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineflickedbic
Sojourner
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/21/11
Posts: 4,673
Loc: Fractalic Fabric
Last seen: 14 hours, 53 minutes
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858844 - 11/22/16 09:40 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

I have inferior genes, im ugly, i have no confidence, im an addict, i hate myself and no one wants to be around me because of this




The stories we tell ourselves...

You are obviously intelligent, brother.  Channel that focus and brainpower into the positive things you can do.  You have skills and talents you can grow.  We are often our greatest enemies, so let's turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

As others have said eating right and excersize won't only improve physique, but mental well-being. 

Already you have people asking you to be friends... the value that evades your perception now clearly is visible to others.


--------------------
Favorite entheogen experiences in descending order:
1)Combo of oral DMT + smoked Bufotenine
2)Amanita (urine drank twice)
3)Mushrooms > Achuma 16"+cid(still need higher dose Achuma)> Cid (still need high dose)
4)Morning Glory-HBWR (+cumin, cinnamon aldehyde adducts) > Methyl chavicol (need more activators)
5)Salvia (need to try quid)


All readable matter in the above post is ficticious... any similarities to real life are purely coincidental.

Blessing.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: flickedbic]
    #23858849 - 11/22/16 09:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

flickedbic said:
Quote:

I have inferior genes, im ugly, i have no confidence, im an addict, i hate myself and no one wants to be around me because of this




The stories we tell ourselves...

You are obviously intelligent, brother.  Channel that focus and brainpower into the positive things you can do.  You have skills and talents you can grow.  We are often our greatest enemies, so let's turn our stumbling blocks into stepping stones.

As others have said eating right and excersize won't only improve physique, but mental well-being. 

Already you have people asking you to be friends... the value that evades your perception now clearly is visible to others.




And now those literally 4 people that asked me that in YEARS dont want talk to me....

I dont have skills. I dont want to be smart. I dont want to do good things. I just want to sit in a corner and be miserable by myself. So sick trying to deal with myself. Other people just make it so much worse.

Ive eat well. I make my own healthy meals. Exercise doesnt work and this makes me just give up on it


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineSpeckles
Sober AF
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/19/13
Posts: 236
Last seen: 1 year, 4 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: PatrickKn]
    #23858857 - 11/22/16 09:47 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I've never dealt with the opiate piece but I'm an alcoholic and tend to just think about myself. I don't think real great things about myself either. A lot of my depression and rage is a direct result of alcoholic self-centeredness, so trying to think about other people has been really helpful to me in social scenarios.

With friends I try to to think of what I can do for other people instead of what they can do for me. I don't mean in a material sense, but like wanting someone to be there for me when I'm down versus being there for someone else when they need someone to talk to. People seem to be more attracted to someone they can depend on than someone who needs to depend on them.

On a large scale, going into a social event whether it's a party or just family dinner I try to think along the same lines. Like what could I do or say that will increase the enjoyment of this event for the other people? Often that's just listening to people, and not talking about myself, or complimenting the food, whatever.

I'm not very good at any of this but I relate to your loneliness. I used to have tons of friends, and as I've gotten older my circles shrunk down to core homies I've known for over a decade. Making new friends is difficult, and slow, but it seems easier to try and be a good friend than find a good friend.

Also if you do get clean again it's pretty easy to make new friends in 12-step programs because everybody already relates on a pretty deep level.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePatrickKn
I'm a teapot

Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23858884 - 11/22/16 10:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:
Exercise doesn't work and this makes me just give up on it



That's what I thought too, and never gave it much of a chance. But even if it doesn't cure your depression and anxiety completely, sticking to a regular excercise plan would still lessen the symptoms quite a bit, no? It would also help with your image issues and perhaps boost your confidence as well?

I don't know what extent you've stuck to excercise after high school (or your locales equivalent), perhaps more than myself. But it's something that takes time to really fall into effect as it has a lot to do with getting your hormones in working order, getting your blood circulation going so that your body and mind can feed itself better, and getting your metabolism up (which helps with energy throughout the day as well). It's not something that happens overnight, or even in a week, but more like something that happens after a couple of months of regular, daily activity.

I'm not trying to pester you on it or anything though, just sharing what has worked for myself. I'd argue that regular excercise can help anyone's depression if they aren't getting enough currently, and that the body actually needs it. We're not quite fully adapted to our sedentary lifestyles quite yet. It might not be the full blown cure (though it was for me), but can mean the difference between a few bad days a month or several weeks of bad days.


Edited by PatrickKn (11/22/16 10:04 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858885 - 11/22/16 10:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:
Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Don't worry about the oxy, that is NBD, especially if you're not really sick.

I've struggled with self hatred, anxiety, addiction, depression, all that for as long as I can remember.  I have been doing pretty well since I have sworn off women and started taking a once daily kratom dose.  I don't know if you've ever tried maintaining on kratom but it is the only thing that seems to keep the cravings at bay for me with minimal life issues that usually come from opioids.  Took me a little bit to actually make the switch but since I have I don't think my life has ever been better.

Never give up fighting man.  I know it is hard sometimes but no matter how bad it seems it could always be worse, and even then there is still reason for hope.  I'm sorry you're suffering, never hesitate to reach out because there are people that care about you.




Kratom is illegal and since its a big fat powder it basically impossible to get it through customs.

ive tried reaching out to the very very few friends i have and there kinda giving me nothing/its not helping.


Theres only one person that im way to attached to that could make me feel better. I messaged her because I think I really need to sort things out with her.... Im just so afraid that if I leave her its going to get even worse. I know im attached to her unhealthy. But shes the only thing that kept me sober and the only thing that gave me any sort of purpose or happiness :frown:




Are you not close to your family?  I'm sorry if they're not there for you but if you're overlooking their being there for you because they're not going to suck your dick and coddle you I think you'd be making a huge mistake.  Family is the only people who I was able to count on when it came down to it.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinewrestler_az
PsiLLy BiLLy
Male User Gallery


Registered: 08/11/02
Posts: 13,676
Loc: day dreams of a mad man
Last seen: 4 hours, 43 minutes
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23858891 - 11/22/16 10:04 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

first off, stop saying literally so much...

second, become one with the suck.

so, you hate yourself. fine. believe it or not, you are not the minority. accept this fact, and move on. you're stuck in a feedback loop. you hate yourself because you hate yourself because you hate yourself... i get it. i would off myself in an instant, if it weren't for the fact a few people out there actually do, for some reason, care about me. i know it's irrational. ive mostly just learned to live with it.

but patric's advice is spot on if you're looking to break the loop. and, if you ever get the feeling like there is LITERALLY no one out there... shoot me a pm. i'm here.


--------------------
how's your WOW?





  Edited by yageman (04/20/06 4:20 PM) 


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23858899 - 11/22/16 10:10 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Quote:

kakashi68 said:
Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Don't worry about the oxy, that is NBD, especially if you're not really sick.

I've struggled with self hatred, anxiety, addiction, depression, all that for as long as I can remember.  I have been doing pretty well since I have sworn off women and started taking a once daily kratom dose.  I don't know if you've ever tried maintaining on kratom but it is the only thing that seems to keep the cravings at bay for me with minimal life issues that usually come from opioids.  Took me a little bit to actually make the switch but since I have I don't think my life has ever been better.

Never give up fighting man.  I know it is hard sometimes but no matter how bad it seems it could always be worse, and even then there is still reason for hope.  I'm sorry you're suffering, never hesitate to reach out because there are people that care about you.




Kratom is illegal and since its a big fat powder it basically impossible to get it through customs.

ive tried reaching out to the very very few friends i have and there kinda giving me nothing/its not helping.


Theres only one person that im way to attached to that could make me feel better. I messaged her because I think I really need to sort things out with her.... Im just so afraid that if I leave her its going to get even worse. I know im attached to her unhealthy. But shes the only thing that kept me sober and the only thing that gave me any sort of purpose or happiness :frown:




Are you not close to your family?  I'm sorry if they're not there for you but if you're overlooking their being there for you because they're not going to suck your dick and coddle you I think you'd be making a huge mistake.  Family is the only people who I was able to count on when it came down to it.





My father is an alco who chooses to stay in our house yet makes himself completely emotionally unavaliable. Thats worse that leaving if you ask me. Neither parents really knew how to show me love after I became a teenager. I was never hugged. Its left a huge hole in me and I have severe attachement issues now.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 15 hours, 34 minutes
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23859110 - 11/22/16 11:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:

How the fuck am I just meant to say "oh im just going to forget all this pain and just love myself even though no one else does.




You are the most qualified person on the planet to love yourself.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #23859348 - 11/23/16 02:35 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah I mean I can relate, but you've basically told us that you're committed to wallowing in your misery if nobody else is going to come take your pain away.  I would say you need some experience in life to get some perspective, but that's about as specific as I can possibly be in terms of advice. 

It usually isn't the case that you get a bunch of great people in your life who support and cherish you, then things fall into place.  It takes alot of stuggling and hard work to develop your self and gain some insight that will make you attractive to other people and bring the kind of relationships you want into your life. 

I know it's a fucked thing to say to someone who is depressed, and I'm not into kicking people when they're down, but if you come across as desperate and pathetic why would someone want to be there for you?  The good thing is that it's never too late, and no matter how you may feel if you're able to have some insight into your self, even negative, you're already ahead of the game in some sense.  The next step is making changes, not sitting around hoping some angel comes into your life and makes it all ok.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23859518 - 11/23/16 05:03 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You go and get that girl man, tell her ya need her right now she'll understand. I bet if you loved her she loves you too :thumbup:


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineMagenta
I care!!
Male User Gallery

Registered: 06/14/09
Posts: 20,322
Loc: The land of plenty Flag
Last seen: 2 months, 6 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23859730 - 11/23/16 07:30 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I'll be friends with you. What state do you live in, man?


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineEggtimer
HotSauce Lover

Registered: 05/04/13
Posts: 3,097
Last seen: 4 days, 9 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: PatrickKn]
    #23859915 - 11/23/16 08:51 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

PatrickKn said:
Quote:

Shiithead said:
You are a child of God and a mathematical impossibility no matter how you see it.








If what you're saying is true, I've been lied to on the mathematics of it all.




Your fears are true


Your mind is seriously fucking with you. I doubt people perceive you as you think they do hell most people are thinking about themselves and how people perceive them not you.
No one thinks about you like you think about you, they're too busy thinking about themselves.

If you don't associate with people unless they ask you to do something they might even think you don't like them. You'd be surprised how many people feel the same way you do.


--------------------
It's all for the :lol:s


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Eggtimer]
    #23860403 - 11/23/16 11:58 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

It's not that we are the strongest or fastest sperm, it's that God let it be that way. Everything is possible because of God and to give that all away to your own doubts is sin.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23860408 - 11/23/16 12:00 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)



--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23860519 - 11/23/16 12:46 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Thank you everyone for showing me that there are some people that care.

Obviously I couldnt see that yesterday. When I get like that I just want to sit and wallow in my misery.

I think I should be ok for now because ive broken the loop for now.

I live somwewhat close to melbourne


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Edited by kakashi68 (11/23/16 01:12 PM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23860536 - 11/23/16 12:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

It will get better. Just take care of yourself and worry about you and what you can control.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 15 hours, 34 minutes
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23862409 - 11/24/16 01:28 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:

When I get like that I just want to sit and wallow in my misery.




That's the most important thing!    To notice that tendency.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleJufin
Male User Gallery

Registered: 03/31/08
Posts: 5,116
Loc: Australia
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 2
    #23862420 - 11/24/16 01:38 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

kakashi68 said:

When I get like that I just want to sit and wallow in my misery.




That's the most important thing!    To notice that tendency.



Now instead of wallow in misery, you shall mallow in wisery  :strokebeard2:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23862533 - 11/24/16 03:49 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:

kakashi68 said:

When I get like that I just want to sit and wallow in my misery.




That's the most important thing!    To notice that tendency.




still ive known that for a while. I think I genuinely love to be miserable. For whatever reason. But I seem to make myself do it for whatever reason.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23862557 - 11/24/16 04:22 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I know the feeling, keep yourself occupied dude! Try not to sit around and think to much thats what always gets me into a self hate mode


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23862863 - 11/24/16 07:59 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

It's comfortable because that's the way you've set up your brain to deal with life. It is way easier that way, I know. But it will kill you.

You need to change your self talk. Write down all the good things about yourself or any worthwhile compliment someone has said to you. Repeat those characteristics about yourself in your head multiple times throughout the day and whenever you are met with friction in your life.

Also get off any psyche drugs and only take the oxy for fun. Not for health.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23862877 - 11/24/16 08:05 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You have it backwards.  Get off the oxy and only take psych drugs for fun, don't expect them to make you a better person.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23862886 - 11/24/16 08:09 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Amen  :yougoodjob:


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23862900 - 11/24/16 08:15 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I'm talking about zoloft and paxil or any other ssri.

I assumed we all understood psychedelics weren't drugs.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23862903 - 11/24/16 08:16 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

:thatsinteresting: Who even takes that stuff for fun?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead] * 1
    #23862908 - 11/24/16 08:18 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I assume you don't know what psychedelic drugs are ???


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23862916 - 11/24/16 08:21 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
:thatsinteresting: Who even takes that stuff for fun?




I took one during the superbowl this year for fun lol


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23862917 - 11/24/16 08:22 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Doesn't it take like a week of steady doses to accumulate enough to have an effect, or is that only some SSRIs?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23862923 - 11/24/16 08:25 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I thought you were talking about oxy lol

And it does. But I knew a kid who could get off on one dose of zoloft back in the day. Everyone is different though.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemustangbob3
Mad Myrmecologist
I'm a teapot


Registered: 10/15/14
Posts: 1,685
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23862925 - 11/24/16 08:26 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

sorry to hear ur going throught some bad shit ...
by the way u talk and what little info i can glean i would say u area good candidate for having borderline personality disorder.
i dont mean it in a negative way ot should i say as too pull u down.
i feel u been throught some bad times , some kind of abuse and thats led u to finding ur own coping strategies and in the long run hasnt helped and u now have bpd.
research borderline personality disorder/ emotionally unstable disorder.
if u can relate share with ur medical professional who cares for ur treatment.
i feel ur big problem is with past issues and lack of dealing with root cause of ur feelings.
i feel that that big problem is u dont know who U are! and where ur life is going and what u should do about it.
u feel disconnected and stuck in a downward spiral.
i bet even looking in the mirror is hard to and u dont relate with urself in the same way u used too.
only thing  u can do is break the chains and behaviours that have led to this and treat the root cause and in my mind will be some form of abuse at the hands of others physical mental or sexual.
deal with this and start a new path.
in the mean time speak to mental health professionals and decribe whats happenign and how u feel, tell them about how u cope and why it works and also any abuse or stressful periods in ur life and it u research bpd and u feel it fits then tell them.
maybe an anti phyc like abilify may be given but dont rely on it, use it to gain a footing then work on reasons for the problem.
a brighter day will come.
u will find people do like u , its what u have become they dont like and when u start to like urself again then so will they ans u will find they have always been there!
look for the source of the I feeling inside u, grasp and realise it and odnt let go. this feeling is the real u and ur real nature anything else is transitory and is pointless.
now survive this, go out research bpd, start a new path, deal with ur problems and learn better coping strategies unlike avoidance.
avoidance works but at the cost of self worth and self respect.
gain back this self and the feeling of I!! the rest will then flow back too u, friends  relationships ect all will come back .
take care and think about it


--------------------



Edited by mustangbob3 (11/24/16 08:27 AM)


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23862935 - 11/24/16 08:30 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah well you're probably not stuck in a cycle of self-hatred and depression.  That changes things a bit.  For some people in that situation SSRIs are even a good choice, but I think it should be a last resort.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy] * 1
    #23862970 - 11/24/16 08:44 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23862979 - 11/24/16 08:50 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

:aweshit: Ok that's just an absurd statement.  Drugs are the best thing to happen to human health since we discovered masturbation.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead] * 1
    #23863008 - 11/24/16 09:03 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

BPD is
Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.




I think you have an imbalance of knowledge in your brain no offense


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblecrackbaby
shitpost aficionado
Male


Registered: 08/31/15
Posts: 12,994
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23863174 - 11/24/16 10:17 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
Yeah well you're probably not stuck in a cycle of self-hatred and depression.  That changes things a bit.  For some people in that situation SSRIs are even a good choice, but I think it should be a last resort.




agreed...sometimes you can get caught in a long-lasting shitstorm of bad inner/outer conditions and circumstances, and no amount of meditation, yoga, or positive thinking will help.  This is where cycling onto an ssri and/or benzo medication for a temporary period (maybe 5-6 months) can be useful.


--------------------
:awedance:




Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblenice1returns
I am the Holy Shit
 User Gallery


Registered: 09/04/14
Posts: 2,303
Loc: miwuaki Flag
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 1
    #23863267 - 11/24/16 10:52 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Hatred can come from the dislike of others, of the self. of reality.  Meditation is the key.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflinePartoftheSource
NAUT GUILTY
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/27/15
Posts: 3,023
Loc: MIDWEST
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: nice1returns] * 3
    #23863289 - 11/24/16 11:00 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

What we hate in others are the qualities we hate in ourselves.


--------------------
Shroomery Stickers!


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineLove_spirit
Circle Of Power
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68] * 3
    #23863528 - 11/24/16 12:32 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

None of those thoughts are you.

Those "issues" you believe in are only as real as you make them.

If drugs are gonna keep that insane, blathering
madman out of your head for now, then roll with it.
Maybe sometime it'll be the right time and place, the sun
will be shining and you'll start to question your beliefs.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23863718 - 11/24/16 01:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

moonrockmushy said:
:aweshit: Ok that's just an absurd statement.  Drugs are the best thing to happen to human health since we discovered masturbation.




No anti depressants are shit. I took em for a bit and just made me feel worse. Its not permanent and your just chained to another substance.


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
Last seen: 15 hours, 34 minutes
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Shiithead]
    #23864955 - 11/24/16 11:35 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test serotonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.




That's about as radical a perspective as a person can take today Shiithead .

Currently, we've medicalized human problems. If you are very unhappy, you need drugs.

And let's not talk about all of the suicides associated with taking SSRI's!

Like you said, we don't even test serotonin levels.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleNiffla
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/09/08
Posts: 46,494
Loc: Texas
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23867910 - 11/26/16 05:34 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

kakashi68 said:

I just want someone to hold me and tell me its ok  :feelingblue:






--------------------


HAIL OUR NEW OTD KING


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlinekakashi68
Connoiseur of Illicit Substances
 User Gallery

Registered: 11/25/11
Posts: 2,116
Loc: STRAYA Flag
Last seen: 10 days, 12 hours
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Niffla]
    #23868032 - 11/26/16 07:40 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Niffla said:
Quote:

kakashi68 said:

I just want someone to hold me and tell me its ok  :feelingblue:









dude ouch... why on this thread ey... my feels :frown:

is that really so wrong...


--------------------
You know, just sometimes in between the first cigarette with coffee in the morning to that 400th glass of cornershop piss at 3am--you do sometimes look at yourself and think--this is fantastic. I'm in heaven.
-Bernard Black



Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Invisiblemoonrockmushy
High on Spite
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: kakashi68]
    #23868121 - 11/26/16 08:14 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I'll hold ya babe.  Don't fret chile.

What movie is that from?


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineergoticmandala
 User Gallery


Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
Last seen: 4 years, 28 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: moonrockmushy]
    #23868869 - 11/26/16 12:32 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.



I think you have an imbalance of knowledge in your brain no offense




fuckin burn


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23868874 - 11/26/16 12:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

:burn:*


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisiblePrisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: ergoticmandala]
    #23869069 - 11/26/16 01:32 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

ergoticmandala said:
Quote:

Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.



I think you have an imbalance of knowledge in your brain no offense




fuckin burn





it would only be a burn if he was right, instead he has a knoledge imbalance in his brain

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/researcher-identifies-five-types-of-depression-050814
https://www.patrickholford.com/advice/biochemical-tests-brain-chemistry-imbalances


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
OfflineL_iggins
Slight Sell-Out
Male


Registered: 11/20/16
Posts: 106
Loc: Around Flag
Last seen: 6 years, 9 months
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: Prisoner#1] * 1
    #23869420 - 11/26/16 03:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

ergoticmandala said:
Quote:

Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.



I think you have an imbalance of knowledge in your brain no offense




fuckin burn





it would only be a burn if he was right, instead he has a knoledge imbalance in his brain

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/researcher-identifies-five-types-of-depression-050814
https://www.patrickholford.com/advice/biochemical-tests-brain-chemistry-imbalances




:woooaaahhh:


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Offlineergoticmandala
 User Gallery


Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
Last seen: 4 years, 28 days
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: L_iggins]
    #23869921 - 11/26/16 06:06 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

ergoticmandala said:
Quote:

Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.



I think you have an imbalance of knowledge in your brain no offense



fuckin burn




it would only be a burn if he was right, instead he has a knoledge imbalance in his brain




fucking burn mate


--------------------


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
InvisibleShiithead
Your Huckleberry
Male User Gallery


Registered: 04/05/13
Posts: 9,997
Loc: God's Flat Green Earth
Re: Why Do I hate myself so much [Re: L_iggins]
    #23870950 - 11/27/16 12:52 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

L_iggins said:
Quote:

Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:

ergoticmandala said:
Quote:

Quote:

Shiithead said:
Drugs are never the answer for health. It doesn't matter the situation. It is all in the mind and your selftalk. And besides the mechanism of action of most if not all ssri drugs are unknown. You cant even test seratonin levels in the brain or body yet they claim there is an imbalance.



I think you have an imbalance of knowledge in your brain no offense




fuckin burn





it would only be a burn if he was right, instead he has a knoledge imbalance in his brain

http://www.healthline.com/health-news/researcher-identifies-five-types-of-depression-050814
https://www.patrickholford.com/advice/biochemical-tests-brain-chemistry-imbalances




:woooaaahhh:




Serotonin doesn't pass the blood-brain barrier. :cookiemonster:


--------------------

Ephesians 6:12
For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Psalm 12:6
The words of the Lord are pure words: as silver tried in a furnace of earth, purified seven times.
Hebrews 11:3
Through faith we understand that the worlds were framed by the word of God, so that things which are seen were not made of things which do appear.
Revelation 3:11
Behold, I come quickly: hold that fast which thou hast, that no man take thy crown.


Extras: Filter Print Post Top
Jump to top Pages: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4  [ show all ]

Shop: Left Coast Kratom Buy Kratom Capsules   PhytoExtractum Buy Bali Kratom Powder   Original Sensible Seeds Autoflowering Cannabis Seeds   North Spore North Spore Mushroom Grow Kits & Cultivation Supplies   Kraken Kratom Buy Kratom Powder & Leaf   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order


Similar ThreadsPosterViewsRepliesLast post
* Dont you just hate it when...
( 1 2 all )
filthysock 2,408 23 03/11/04 06:32 PM
by Frog
* Anxiety
( 1 2 all )
Bi0TeK 2,479 23 09/12/05 09:09 AM
by diabla
* Nervous Tension Anxiety- need doctor advice
( 1 2 all )
Fireside 3,488 22 01/21/13 11:05 PM
by 2Experimental
* Anxiety vampirism 845 7 06/13/05 02:38 AM
by THE KRAT BARON
* I hate mushrooms.
( 1 2 3 4 all )
Konnrade 4,741 72 06/21/11 09:59 PM
by Chemical_Sandman
* Drugs for anxiety and ADD moosehead 1,303 9 06/05/05 10:02 AM
by moosehead
* Herbal Remedies for Anxiety?
( 1 2 3 all )
OneMoreRobot3021 7,134 51 11/17/06 03:14 PM
by SneakyFijian420
* I hate how little things will eat you up Cryptic 968 8 09/28/03 10:19 AM
by flanders53

Extra information
You cannot start new topics / You cannot reply to topics
HTML is disabled / BBCode is enabled
Moderator: Entire Staff
1,750 topic views. 3 members, 55 guests and 28 web crawlers are browsing this forum.
[ Show Images Only | Sort by Score | Print Topic ]
Search this thread:

Copyright 1997-2024 Mind Media. Some rights reserved.

Generated in 0.055 seconds spending 0.011 seconds on 14 queries.