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Syd Barrett
dead-head



Registered: 05/23/12
Posts: 536
Last seen: 6 years, 6 months
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Poly relationships
#23855265 - 11/21/16 06:55 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sooo I just got out of a serious monogamous relationship and am now seeing/dating a different girl. Here's the thing she's polyamorous. Basically she has a fiance who is a really cool person they also has a boyfriend. It is kinda weird to see someone your like falling for make out and feel love for other people but at the same time its like I get to keep my options open as well. There is a nice feeling of no pressure being put on me. I mean overall I am enjoying myself in the relationship we all get along and hangout and stuff. Basically the relationship is a line (boyfriend-fiance-girlfriend -me) I'm curious if any of yall are poly or had experience. Am I headed for a shit storm waiting to happen? I mean it seems really good atm with the expectation of getting used to have to share someone. I'm not a jealous person in general its just different.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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You could be heading for a shit storm, it just depends on how well each person in the relationship knows themselves. You might have one person that says they're cool with such things, and they will be at first, but then they might hear someone say they really like how another person in the relationship kisses them, or treats them, etc, and this might make that person snap, then they can be jealous, possessive, and just a downright asshole, which could screw things up for everyone.
I think it also depends on the age of the people involved, open relationships tend to work better for those that are a bit older, around the late 20's and up people seem to have a more secure grasp of what they want out of a relationship, so things can be smoother for this group. People in this group tend to articulate their feelings well, and will have no issues talking about how they feel about things, and bringing up issues they might have, of course this can also be hit or miss too, so it's all kind of trial and error.
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lavod
Seal Whisperer


Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 5,440
Loc: Over the rainbow
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Re: Poly relationships [Re: Lucis]
#23855580 - 11/21/16 08:26 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Very well said. Being poly is wonderful and i fully encourage one to at least give it a try. Just remember that the enemy ov love is restriction, and if any difficulties arise then one has to analyze and work upon the source ov restrictive blocks. There are complexities that arise, but working on balancing out these new tangibles will help one develop a better understanding ov oneself as well as hir partners and the nature/nurture ov love itself. Just ask yourself why not?
Polyamorphosis
it was'nt expected in the grocery store a hotty brushes past nasal whiff ov pheromone lure awkward head jerk, a curious glance cast
i'm stabbed in the eyes with a disapproving look fish-her-man has my bitch mouth by a hook owned like an 1843 negro slave cook your life's oyster soup brewed by my fire wand dick in the nude your hand clutching it with the other on the rood
cozy caterpillar, nosey caterpillar crawling wandering will, wondering will stalling into the mirror i find myself bawling mama told me to find a nice ONE storybook capture displayed like a trophy i've won please clean the litterbox and call me hon
caught up within this jelly cocoon suckling on the jealousy sweet dyadic bedroom pulsing under the moon another excretion from a familiar teat
am i to be owned like a pirate's treasure stolen from an explorer's chest ov pleasure a kiss may be currency but it's not ensurance that our relationship will bear lasting endurance remember in school when they taught sharing and for a moment a kid learned about omniversal caring
to add venture with others is not something to shame for unto whom but restriction would love cast blame amidst the eternalcy ov life masquerading as a game
to be immersed within the current ov love is bliss so who but myself should choose to block another's kiss or embrace it without shame and let learned fears go amiss i'll take the threeway freeway to wherever i shall dare stopping to fill with passion at a welcoming lover's lair polyamorphosis from cater-pillar to a butterfly dancing in the air
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Mojo
Stranger

Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 1,676
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Keep perspective on how the relationship benefits you. You are free, so travel, flirt, make new friends; be independent. You aren't headed for trouble if you maintain perspective. Respect the girl's relationship with her fiance, it's the more important relationship to her.
After being in many poly relationships. The most important qualities I look for are emotional stability and independence. If you fall for this girl, the harder you lean emotionally the worse off you probably are. This girl and her fiance have probably spent countless hours discussing their philosophies of love and relationships; emotions that may seem foreign to you have probably already been overcome by the couple, so talk everything out as it comes up.
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