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NaturalOnly
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Registered: 06/05/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip...
#23851575 - 11/20/16 01:39 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The incomplete detail of my mushroom trip can be found here: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/23807604
It's been two weeks since the trip and though I ceased to experience flashbacks, my mind has been trapped in the psychedelic headspace. The first week after the trip, I had a few flashbacks/ptsd and it feels like I'm back in the trip where it feels almost as intense and overwhelming. I had some vivid and very disturbing dreams, almost worse than the trip. I would wake up from the dream and feel just not right and not wanting to think about the dream just like I was afraid to think about the trip. Now I can't get a complete grip of reality. Though I can maneuver through and avoid physical obstacles, I am unable to get a sense, a feel of my surroundings, my environment. I don't feel like i'm in the moment mentally and emotionally even if it's a situation where i'm relevant, everything is just passing. I am unable to make emotional connection with real life things. A normal person experiences a range of emotion everyday but 97% of the time I just feel nothing. I am unable to form emotional response/connection with people around me and those i interact with. I also no longer have a sense of self, that's one thing I miss the most, feeling like I know myself, my thoughts and emotion, etc, I lost sense of what makes me, me... Music hardly gives me pleasure too, I used to love music but like I said, I've been unable to emotionally connect with the music I listen to. It has become a background noise. I keep thinking to myself that this altered state is temporary and my mind will heal given some time however I am scared that I might be stuck in this state for longer than I can bear, maybe permanently (hope not). I miss being sober. I am making this post because I feel extremely alone in this and maybe someone who has gone through this similar phase can reassure me that it will pass. Thanks for reading!
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czech
baked like a casserole



Registered: 11/16/16
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23851610 - 11/20/16 01:59 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Might be psychosis.
You'll probably heal up eventually, meth psychosis is long lasting, but psychedelic psychosis often goes away right quick.
After reading how low that dose you took was, and how little you are physically, I have serious concern that it is a psychotic break.
The good news is you can type and apparently coagulate thought, so perhaps you'll get better.
Stop smoking pot if you have been doing that.
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unfortunategent
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23851909 - 11/20/16 03:55 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm sorry about your unfortunate experience, but I'm very confident you can come out of it given time and care. First, as cZech said, no cannabis in any form if you are someone who partakes. Second, stop trying to remember and recapture what you used to be like before your trip, you are still you, and no amount of effort on your part is needed to return to yourself. However, it is possible to keep yourself 'stuck' in this situation longer than you need to be if you interfere too much. A good illustration is to imagine your homeostasis to be a cork floating on the surface of water. That cork can be held down below the surface for as long as you like, but as soon as you let go, it will eventually float back up to where it belongs.
So try to move on like things are fine. Do things. Eat things. If you can't sleep, don't worry about it. Get up and go about your day like you had a full rest. I'm not saying this will be an easy thing to do, but it can be done.
Also, if you haven't adopted a life philosophy, it may be time to do it. Figure out what/who youre living for. But don't fret if you can't figure this out right away, just know that you are working on it and remain 'aware' of anything that calls to you personally.
Do these things and most importantly have HOPE. Hope that you are improving. Hope that you are going through this trial for a reason. Hope that you will come out the better for it.
I have hope for you, as I have hope for myself and anyone else who struggles with mental distress and disorders. Hope truly is a medicine unmatched if it's not diluted by too much doubt.
Best wishes
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cheesytom1
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Registered: 09/24/14
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I've suffered from psychadelic and stress induced psychosis. I was 18, tripping alone and in a bad headspace.
I assume you're quite young too. You said about going to school.
Let me just say that I felt weird for about 4 months. I felt like I was watching life from a third-person perspective. I felt like I wasn't reacting to things how I normally would. Say, if I saw a bus, I'd then subconciously associate that bus with the school I used to go to, and the noises of a bus, and the warmth of the bus; but instead, I just watched a shape move through space, with no relevance to my ego.
It was horrible. I also felt like I was being strangled, as well as an impending and overwhelming fear of death that followed me everywhere, and eventually even into my dreams.
Sometimes I lost hope. One time I cried with my mother at 2am in the toilet. I missed what I had, I felt like I'd disrespected my sober mind. I was too young to be fucking with drugs. I was. Your brain doesn't finish developing until you're like 22 or something.
Anyway, like the others said, stop using cannabis NOW (if you do). Go outside and exercise as much as you can. This will relieve stress and stimulate your mind.
Meditate, if you can. Or learn. Listen to guided meditations, I like those. Meditation helps you get comfortable with your body. It "lets go of the cork" and lets you relax, probably more so than sleep can achieve.
Seek medical assistance if things get real bad, and you can't handle it on your own. Talk to your parents about it, if they are the kind of parents that will be sympathetic. Perhaps seek counselling, this can be drugs. I personally stayed away from the drugs; I figured I needed to work through my shit without them. But other people are different.
You've been beaten for being disrespectful. And it's going to sting for a while. But, you're young. Learn the lesson, be smart from now on, and look after your body and mind. Remain as stress-free as possible. And recover. You will find equilibrium again.
Peace.
-------------------- A Resource-Based Economy; beyond politics, poverty and war. 40min Documentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KphWsnhZ4Ag My band, System Paralysis; punk/ska/metal, free music: https://systemparalysis.bandcamp.com/album/concrete-gore
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unfortunategent
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: cheesytom1]
#23854134 - 11/21/16 12:08 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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cheesytom, what gives you the notion that he was being disrespectful? Unless you're basing that opinion off his age, which I might agree with if he's much below 20. Other than that, good advice.
I think that a lot of ppl are introduced to shrooms with the perception that they are recreational and fun just because they can be sometimes. Depends on the individual though. I know people that eat a quarter every few weekends and munch on random doses throughout the work week for a buzz. These people only seem to ever get surface effects. But on the other side, mushrooms are no joke and are heavy as hell for some people, and really have an intense psychological impact on them. I wanted to treat them like weed when I first tried em. That lasted about 2 trips before I figured out that I wasn't playing a game. Now I can hardly bring myself to use them.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Sure seems to be a lot of these threads lately...more so than usual.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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unfortunategent
Stranger


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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23854251 - 11/21/16 01:01 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Sure seems to be a lot of these threads lately...more so than usual.
I know right? If it was like this when I was browsing the board prior to my first shroom trip, I probably would have never done it.
Familiar with the concept of 'zeitgeist'? Maybe the spirit of the moment is not conducive to good trips right now...and maybe when it passes, the psychosis will be broken? Interesting to think about even though it sounds like mumbo jumbo.
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HamHead
Hard Ass Motherfucker



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Loc: Galactic sector ZZ9 Plura...
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This sort of reminds me of the McKenna story when he takes 5 grams one week and wanted to trip the following week, so he takes 9 grams. He describes a female in black leather, think dominatrix, standing over him that said, "strong enough for you, cowboy?" Or something along those lines. He believed that those who would herd cattle, would trip on high doses cubensis which would grow from the dung of the cattle they kept.
I'm sorry to hear about your troubled times OP.
Be safe
-------------------- The Italian researchers’ findings, published by the INT’s scientific magazine Tumori Journal, show 11.6% of 959 healthy volunteers enrolled in a lung cancer screening trial between September 2019 and March 2020 had developed coronavirus antibodies well before February. https://www.reuters.com/article/us-health-coronavirus-italy-timing-idUSKBN27V0KF This online first version has been peer-reviewed, accepted and edited, but not formatted and finalized with corrections from authors and proofreaders https://www.icandecide.org/
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NaturalOnly
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Registered: 06/05/16
Posts: 9
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: cheesytom1]
#23855014 - 11/21/16 05:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
cheesytom1 said: I've suffered from psychadelic and stress induced psychosis. I was 18, tripping alone and in a bad headspace.
I assume you're quite young too. You said about going to school.
Let me just say that I felt weird for about 4 months. I felt like I was watching life from a third-person perspective. I felt like I wasn't reacting to things how I normally would. Say, if I saw a bus, I'd then subconciously associate that bus with the school I used to go to, and the noises of a bus, and the warmth of the bus; but instead, I just watched a shape move through space, with no relevance to my ego.
It was horrible. I also felt like I was being strangled, as well as an impending and overwhelming fear of death that followed me everywhere, and eventually even into my dreams.
Sometimes I lost hope. One time I cried with my mother at 2am in the toilet. I missed what I had, I felt like I'd disrespected my sober mind. I was too young to be fucking with drugs. I was. Your brain doesn't finish developing until you're like 22 or something.
Anyway, like the others said, stop using cannabis NOW (if you do). Go outside and exercise as much as you can. This will relieve stress and stimulate your mind.
Meditate, if you can. Or learn. Listen to guided meditations, I like those. Meditation helps you get comfortable with your body. It "lets go of the cork" and lets you relax, probably more so than sleep can achieve.
Seek medical assistance if things get real bad, and you can't handle it on your own. Talk to your parents about it, if they are the kind of parents that will be sympathetic. Perhaps seek counselling, this can be drugs. I personally stayed away from the drugs; I figured I needed to work through my shit without them. But other people are different.
You've been beaten for being disrespectful. And it's going to sting for a while. But, you're young. Learn the lesson, be smart from now on, and look after your body and mind. Remain as stress-free as possible. And recover. You will find equilibrium again.
Peace.
This describes very well what i'm going through especially the bus example and about seeing life from a third person perspective. And yes I am a student, my third year at a university. I thought I had moved past the flashbacks and ptsd stuff after the first week but last night I experienced another episode of psychosis, worse than the other flashbacks that I've had. It felt like I was experiencing a bad trip all over again or more like I never came out of the bad trip. A thought came into my mind that I'm trapped in a mental prison. This nearly caused a mental breakdown and I wanted to break out and scream and cry because it was unbearable, feeling like my mind has been unjustly imprisoned. My thoughts became incomprehensible and uncontrollable, it's abusive and menacing like during the trip, abusing me and saying or making me think negatively and critically of myself. I felt hopeless and abused, incapable of forming happy or positive thoughts. In the morning i woke up and had to meet with people for a project and during our discussion, I experienced a brief moment of psychosis. Then after the meeting I went to class and went into a state of psychosis again and my professor looked like a psychedelic entity and the room and the atmosphere makes me feel elsewhere. Then I had to go up in front of the class to give a presentation and it's safe to say that I was a nervous, anxious wreck. Though I was speaking, I couldn't sense myself speaking and what I said didn't register to me.
The past two weeks I've been feeling mentally drained as well, feels like I haven't really slept despite getting between 6-8 hrs of sleep every night. I go through my day wanting class to be over so I can take naps but that never made me felt replenished either. What sucks the most since I dabbled with psychedelics is the inability to enjoy weed. Weed used to the greatest thing but it has not been the same and is no where near as enjoyable as it used to be. I've only smoked once since my shroom trip which was this past weekend. I thought maybe i can counter the effect of psilocybin headspace by bombarding my brain with thc chemicals hoping that the thc would overpower the headspace that I was experiencing and jumpstart my emotion but it didn't work. Made the headspace more pronounced and the high felt forced and unnatural. Sucks but I won't be enjoying and smoking weed for a while but I hope that a tolerance break will bring back the natural effects and high of weed.
On a positive note, there are times when I felt closer to normal than usual but it's usually brief. However, this kinda give me a reassuring feeling that I haven't screwed up my mental health that badly and my mind will repair itself given some time and also laying off the drugs for a while. I have been taking care of myself too. I try to distract myself with things like playing League of Legends, watching movies on my laptop and at theaters, listening to music (even though I don't enjoy it nearly as much being in the headspace). I eat regularly and trying to reduce the amount of caffeinated and sugary drinks that I consume a day. I'm going home for Thanksgiving tomorrow and I plan to go fishing, go to a theater and watch a movie, and hopefully see some friends.
I know I should lay off of DMT (which I used to do frequently but haven't done it 4 weeks now) and weed but I do want to try DXM on Thanksgiving weekend when I have the night to myself. I'm thinking about swallowing 16 pills of DXM-active Robitussin pills each containing about 15mg of DXM which will total 240mg. I reasoned that it's a good dose for someone my size and my first time who is looking to get a sense of what DXM is like. Should I try this?
Thanks to everyone who responded to this post, your input and advice reassured me that I'll get through it and I don't feel so alone with this anymore.
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Thayendanegea
quiet walker



Registered: 02/20/12
Posts: 7,596
Loc: 7 Lodges Nation
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Quote:
unfortunategent said:
Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Sure seems to be a lot of these threads lately...more so than usual.
I know right? If it was like this when I was browsing the board prior to my first shroom trip, I probably would have never done it.
Familiar with the concept of 'zeitgeist'? Maybe the spirit of the moment is not conducive to good trips right now...and maybe when it passes, the psychosis will be broken? Interesting to think about even though it sounds like mumbo jumbo.
could just be something to that thought process.
-------------------- Look Deep Into Nature,and Then You Will Understand Everything Better. Albert Einstein
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
Last seen: 7 years, 1 month
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23855352 - 11/21/16 07:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NaturalOnly said: The incomplete detail of my mushroom trip can be found here: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/23807604
It's been two weeks since the trip and though I ceased to experience flashbacks, my mind has been trapped in the psychedelic headspace. The first week after the trip, I had a few flashbacks/ptsd and it feels like I'm back in the trip where it feels almost as intense and overwhelming. I had some vivid and very disturbing dreams, almost worse than the trip. I would wake up from the dream and feel just not right and not wanting to think about the dream just like I was afraid to think about the trip. Now I can't get a complete grip of reality. Though I can maneuver through and avoid physical obstacles, I am unable to get a sense, a feel of my surroundings, my environment. I don't feel like i'm in the moment mentally and emotionally even if it's a situation where i'm relevant, everything is just passing. I am unable to make emotional connection with real life things. A normal person experiences a range of emotion everyday but 97% of the time I just feel nothing. I am unable to form emotional response/connection with people around me and those i interact with. I also no longer have a sense of self, that's one thing I miss the most, feeling like I know myself, my thoughts and emotion, etc, I lost sense of what makes me, me... Music hardly gives me pleasure too, I used to love music but like I said, I've been unable to emotionally connect with the music I listen to. It has become a background noise. I keep thinking to myself that this altered state is temporary and my mind will heal given some time however I am scared that I might be stuck in this state for longer than I can bear, maybe permanently (hope not). I miss being sober. I am making this post because I feel extremely alone in this and maybe someone who has gone through this similar phase can reassure me that it will pass. Thanks for reading!
Read some Tolle bro.
I would meditate and try to chill the fuck out a bit. Clearly, your thoughts are taken far too seriously. I do the same which is why, I indulge rarely and took a long hiatus or in the case of marijuana, a permanent hiatus. It puts me in a bad trip due to 1. paranoia 2. anxiety attacks 3. ???
I took mushrooms and what I estimate as a fatal dose (based upon my tolerance not some of you fucking juggernauts). I felt like I was on a rollercoaster going at the speed of light while laying in bed in the dark with Netflix on. I lost motor function and speech at different points. I had terrible muscle spasm and I was dry heaving into a garbage bag. I was kicking and throwing shit around the room. I poured water over myself. I once tried to pray and speech failed to come out, not sure if it I couldn't concentrate, I couldn't say or think the words, and it scared the fuck out of me. At one stage, it felt like a complete psychosis, as if a black hole ripped open my external reality, and I was just holding onto dear life. I felt hopelessness, like a severe breakup or divorce, the taste of rejection, failure, loss, and even death. My ego held on making it all the more worse.
Let go. Meditate on your experience. If you are struggling that bad, talk to those you are friends with that indulge, and they can shake you out of it. If you are stilled bummed out, maybe you shouldn't do it. Something that keeps me grounded no matter what is, a belief in God, spirituality, knowing that there is something more then all this materialistic crap and suffering. When I lose sight of that, I trip the fuck out.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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nk122
Grower


Registered: 07/04/15
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Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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careful things happen
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unfortunategent
Stranger


Registered: 06/04/14
Posts: 316
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23855625 - 11/21/16 08:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NaturalOnly said: I do want to try DXM on Thanksgiving weekend when I have the night to myself. I'm thinking about swallowing 16 pills of DXM-active Robitussin pills each containing about 15mg of DXM which will total 240mg. I reasoned that it's a good dose for someone my size and my first time who is looking to get a sense of what DXM is like. Should I try this?
Doesn't seem like you should be tripping atm, considering your current predicament. If it's as bad as you make it out to be, a break is surely in order. If you have an overwhelming urge to get fucked up over the holidays, just get drunk. As unhealthy as it is for your body, alcohol intoxication is much more grounding then weed or psychedelics.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an advocate for alcohol use. 9/10 times I'd suggest getting high over such a base drug as alcohol, but based on your descriptions, you're already high. I'm just trying to offer a better option for your mind state. Go get some good whiskey, if you can stand it, and sip on that over your break.
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NaturalOnly
Stranger
Registered: 06/05/16
Posts: 9
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Doesn't seem like you should be tripping atm, considering your current predicament. If it's as bad as you make it out to be, a break is surely in order. If you have an overwhelming urge to get fucked up over the holidays, just get drunk. As unhealthy as it is for your body, alcohol intoxication is much more grounding then weed or psychedelics.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an advocate for alcohol use. 9/10 times I'd suggest getting high over such a base drug as alcohol, but based on your descriptions, you're already high. I'm just trying to offer a better option for your mind state. Go get some good whiskey, if you can stand it, and sip on that over your break.
One of the reason I thought about trying DXM despite being in my current mental state is because I thought maybe a bad experience can be left behind and overcome if I replace it with a good experience that I hope to get from DXM, if that makes sense... I also figured that since DXM is more of a dissociative than a psychedelic/hallucinogen, that it'd be really hard to have a bad trip on it. I'm not so sure anymore after just reading a few trip report on Erowid. I guess I should wait until I'm well grounded mentally to experiment with it since my mental state is extremely volatile at the moment. I'm also not very big on alcohol, plus i'm not 21 yet so I can't buy it legally. It really sucks that I must put off from smoking weed and DMT for a while but if it'll help me recover faster then it's the logical thing to do.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23856036 - 11/22/16 12:03 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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NaturalOnly, listen ... stop using all drugs and live a normal life for a while.
Last thing you want is to be fucked up because you ate some mushrooms or drank cough syrup or smoking cannabis because you were experience hunting.
Im seeing so much of this today, especially in the USA.
So many people using psychedelics like any other drug, while on medications, or while taking other drugs, or while in a bad head space, or while still during their phase of development, or while enduring a mental health disorder...
It happened in the 50s,60s,70,80,90s too but there was less media and coverage and places to talk about it where ppl could congregate online or off.
You had a psychotic break, depersonilization... you need time , all natural living, to allow your body to recuperate, dont get it in its way.
Good luck, live healthy and sober plz.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (11/22/16 12:03 AM)
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: Thayendanegea]
#23856048 - 11/22/16 12:08 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Thayendanegea said:
Quote:
unfortunategent said:
Quote:
Thayendanegea said: Sure seems to be a lot of these threads lately...more so than usual.
I know right? If it was like this when I was browsing the board prior to my first shroom trip, I probably would have never done it.
Familiar with the concept of 'zeitgeist'? Maybe the spirit of the moment is not conducive to good trips right now...and maybe when it passes, the psychosis will be broken? Interesting to think about even though it sounds like mumbo jumbo.
could just be something to that thought process.
This too, but at the same time you dont ingest psychedelics willy nilly, not if your a responsible adult . I know most on this forum are younger but, as someone who has worked in the health care and medical sector of society, please dont use Psychedelics till your atleast 25 years old.
I swear one day this will be common knowledge. Rite of passage for after you have grown up or finished developing or something.
Psychedelics could also be used to unveil the zeitgeist, or for treating illness, or whatever, but lets be honest, most people dont use it like that, not kids least of all.
Doing alot of DMT like the OP posted is absurd. Its down right irresponsible.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
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Re: 2 Weeks After a Traumatic Trip... [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23856497 - 11/22/16 08:27 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NaturalOnly said:
Doesn't seem like you should be tripping atm, considering your current predicament. If it's as bad as you make it out to be, a break is surely in order. If you have an overwhelming urge to get fucked up over the holidays, just get drunk. As unhealthy as it is for your body, alcohol intoxication is much more grounding then weed or psychedelics.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not an advocate for alcohol use. 9/10 times I'd suggest getting high over such a base drug as alcohol, but based on your descriptions, you're already high. I'm just trying to offer a better option for your mind state. Go get some good whiskey, if you can stand it, and sip on that over your break.
One of the reason I thought about trying DXM despite being in my current mental state is because I thought maybe a bad experience can be left behind and overcome if I replace it with a good experience that I hope to get from DXM, if that makes sense... I also figured that since DXM is more of a dissociative than a psychedelic/hallucinogen, that it'd be really hard to have a bad trip on it. I'm not so sure anymore after just reading a few trip report on Erowid. I guess I should wait until I'm well grounded mentally to experiment with it since my mental state is extremely volatile at the moment. I'm also not very big on alcohol, plus i'm not 21 yet so I can't buy it legally. It really sucks that I must put off from smoking weed and DMT for a while but if it'll help me recover faster then it's the logical thing to do.
Thats some powerful shit. I don't know your life routine but, my two bad trips were during a life crisis. I was not in a good state so, its ideal to control a variety of these factors as best you can. I put on meditative music, I will watch safe shows like big bang or community, and I try to meditate on the entire experience. Four hours of meditation is ridiculous. On my worst trip of my life, I lost motor function, speech, and I barely could handle my thoughts. My mind races on top of visual and auditory delusions. My awareness was fucked.
At the end of the day, we both took our thoughts far too seriously.
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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