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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 6 hours, 23 minutes
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I died last night
#23850664 - 11/20/16 07:31 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah I don't think I did for very long but apparently I stopped breathing after a few bags (I think 2 maybe 3) for a period of time entirely they got me back with 2 or 3 narcan Doses and I think another in the hospital. I coulda got charged with my bags too but I just called the the township police and since I wasn't arrested I guess cuz they felt bad I died there a citation would be issued either
So besides the fact I'm a fuckin idiot here's what I learned -I had 90+ days clean and never though about getting high on fent again. All it took was a shitty day and I LITERALLY WAS MISERABLE FOR over ten hours and I ducking DIED OVER IT AND COULD HAVE A FELONY TO PLEAD OUT JUST TO KEEP A MISDEMEANOR or record that's worse than that even. I've learned sobriety isn't just about being productive and happier for me; but rather really a matter of life and death and it makes it so much easier to stay committed. I had never OD 'd before so this really shifted my viewpoints of certain behaviors from not good don't do then cuz that's that to something much more meaningful.
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sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Quote:
theRealrollforever said: I ducking DIED OVER IT AND COULD HAVE A FELONY TO PLEAD OUT JUST TO KEEP A MISDEMEANOR or record that's worse than that even.
in some cases they drop the charges against you when you're dead, not always but sometimes
glad to have you undead now so quit fucking with that shit
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yogabunny
fancy cat



Registered: 11/01/09
Posts: 11,281
Loc: Nasty Women Get Shit Done
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What was it like?
Did you see the white light.
Also, what Pris said.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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congrats on staying alive...UH UH UH UH STAYING ALIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
anyway aside from my awful singing...fent is very powerful. its so hard for me to say no to it daily but ill fuck up here and there...im on methadone so its hard for me to OD
but anyway..stay off the shit. whenever we do it we just set ourselves back man
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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Get some kratom OP. Keeps me sane enough to get through the day. Just don't try to get high off it, because you probably can't.
It's the worst, something shitty happens or you wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly no amount of sense or willpower will stop you. The whole time you're going through with it you know it's a bad idea and it's not even fun or satisfying in any sense, but you still do it. I didn't really understand maintenance until I realized that sometimes I am really powerless over it. Kinda scary and not something you can really conceptualize when you start taking a drug like heroin.
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 6 hours, 23 minutes
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That's truly what I want with all my heart now it always had previously held a honeymoon spot in my heart
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sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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theRealrollforever
I DID-DENT



Registered: 08/31/13
Posts: 12,736
Loc: Bada-Bing!
Last seen: 6 hours, 23 minutes
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Quote:
moonrockmushy said: Get some kratom OP. Keeps me sane enough to get through the day. Just don't try to get high off it, because you probably can't.
It's the worst, something shitty happens or you wake up in the middle of the night and suddenly no amount of sense or willpower will stop you. The whole time you're going through with it you know it's a bad idea and it's not even fun or satisfying in any sense, but you still do it. I didn't really understand maintenance until I realized that sometimes I am really powerless over it. Kinda scary and not something you can really conceptualize when you start taking a drug like heroin.
I fully respect Kratom man but it still ails me with a slight opiate dependency and I'm really not too depressed that I feel the need to have an opiate habit. I may switch Kratom for Valium but I'm on a really low dose don't abuse it and it steadies me tremendously when I blow glass which by far the snort important not to mention it's my favorite thing in the world
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sunshine said: The order has to be secret and no one is sure.
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moonrockmushy
High on Spite



Registered: 07/01/05
Posts: 19,067
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I mean to me there is no comparing kratom to a full agonist or even another partial agonist like bupe. I know that everyone processes things differently, but it's not even close to being in the same league as those drugs in terms of physical dependency. It's like comparing coffee and cocaine.
I have no problem going without kratom and don't take it for depression. I take it for impulse control reasons. There is a part of my brain that goes off the rails without an opiate agonist and it took me a long time to come to terms with that. I can even see a relapse coming weeks in advance, but I can't stop it. Kratom keeps those feelings at bay with minimal risk of death an no real negative impact to my health to speak of.
To me benzos do the opposite, makes me more impulsive, but like I said to each his own.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
theRealrollforever said: I ducking DIED OVER IT AND COULD HAVE A FELONY TO PLEAD OUT JUST TO KEEP A MISDEMEANOR or record that's worse than that even.
in some cases they drop the charges against you when you're dead, not always but sometimes
glad to have you undead now so quit fucking with that shit
"Weekend at bernies 3. Probation."
"Hold his dick." "No you hold his dick" "Goddammit"
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TunggyRunggy
Wizard


Registered: 10/18/16
Posts: 105
Last seen: 1 year, 6 months
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Just lost my best friend from opiates in September, I had personally found him Overdosed collapsed on the floor several times and brought him to the hospital, but he wasn't able to fully grasp the life and death nature of opiates. Glad you're still alive bro, I hope you're able to stay clean man.
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vandago



Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
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Re: I died last night [Re: vandago]
#23850807 - 11/20/16 08:56 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'll be honest you just don't fully realize what you feel like at baseline once you've drown yourself in opiates. By the time you hit a wall on them, you can't shit, and you are mentally behind life so much it feels like you get struck by influenza lightning. It can really take a wake up call like this for a person to fully realize they gotta stay clean.
When it comes to a lot of things like this, most addicts will say if you haven't gone a year without it, you can't and you need help. I don't think I believe this applies to everyone ( same with everything in AA/NA/HA/CA ) but some meetings and support might not be terrible.
Dying probably sucks if you go out of turn.
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