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TameMe
Stranger



Registered: 10/24/05
Posts: 2,734
Last seen: 5 years, 3 months
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Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing
#23847271 - 11/19/16 12:07 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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"Enlightment" can occur when you don't recognize your ego as your essence, but could let it thrive and be the main driver of your outward persona to the world, while you remain the internal observer of the vessel.
I need humility. Feeling a bit self righteous after some dabbling in things I haven't imbibed in for awhile...thinking awfully high and mighty, and not sure why I have to value my selfworth by scoring my worth and comparing it to the equivalent self worth of you, the reader, all based on fantasized, figment of my imagination data, with no hard connection to reality. Self loathing now...thinking I'm so significant and important that...probably few will read this with, none with any real enthusiasm or real care to disect or discuss. And why should they? No world but my own, is my psychology the core topic at hand....my arrogance and self righteousness...might be as debilitating as a known condition like depression....
but then again...if I truly thought I was on the top of the food chain, why would I have this self doubt? Am I an self aware unfounded narcissist? I'm lost in a battle of extremes chaleging my own core beliefs...trying to get something to shine through strong...and only one thing shines through....be true in the moment and express yourself clearly...there are no core values to hold on to...nothing has been so compelling to believe in...except for the obvious agency we all have to ourselves and the personalities that were beginning to shape before we were self aware (at least of long term memories that structure patterns of thought and behavior over longer periods of time...multiple years)...
i think i am a chameleon...but am probably just as identifable and predictable as the rest of us.
something i fear about becoming a core identity. i want a fluid flexible state that an can adapt and change on a dime.
somehow this was all related.
oh that's right...somehow i was trying to bring my interconnected ideas full round ...to actually bring a moral justification on why denying responsibility of the the actions of your ego whether harmful or not to others....because your true self is actually just watching the show from the vessel without action or judgment.
i think my condition might just be, I care about myself, i care about others, i need others to be able to care about myself (because caring requires the minimum of oxygen and water)...so I have this conflict of i know i can't be perfect so lets find out why it's ok to fuck up...and i don't want to feel guilt or shame...because if i do..that means i'm sort of to blame for things...as well as we all are in some ways...and that just sucks...thinking your species might be prone to failure....because this really all feels like some huge risky crap shoot that's got one tiny shot of surviving another millennia....and it seems more and more of a sure doom for our species one way or another.
seriously looking forward to replies.
Edited by TameMe (11/19/16 12:18 AM)
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing [Re: TameMe] 1
#23847345 - 11/19/16 01:12 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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people trying to give up the ghost in life for enlightenment(ego), aka before death are like kids trying to sneak looks at their Christmas presents the night before.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing [Re: The Blind Ass]
#23847346 - 11/19/16 01:15 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If your referring to an experience were it was all clear and you understood things, but its not clear right now while your doing the referring , then let it go, its just another thing. Go concur the world, work from the bottom rungs up and lead like Hitler (but differently of course) and start a real revolution in the current societal structure and its dying political philosophies and take on the world and go to war baby! give the people hope and meaning and something to fight for.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing [Re: The Blind Ass]
#23847349 - 11/19/16 01:19 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Make your mom dinner and go study your balls off and get a good job where you can slowly rise into the upper echelons of society and infiltrate and commandeer the wheel of man's destiny and bring about the oldest and most ancient dream we all have to fruition, but always get corrupted or forget and thus fail. Might as well try, It could be you
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (11/19/16 01:20 AM)
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DisoRDeR
motional



Registered: 08/29/02
Posts: 1,158
Loc: nonsensistan
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Re: Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing [Re: TameMe]
#23847373 - 11/19/16 01:39 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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You are amazing, just like everything else.
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remake


Registered: 01/05/16
Posts: 4,178
Loc: South Africa
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Re: Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing [Re: TameMe]
#23847447 - 11/19/16 03:06 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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True friends don't expect you to be the same each day. True friends don't take, but appreciate. True friends don't guilt trip. True friends don't hold, but let go. True friends don't define who you are.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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Re: Amazing thought I need you to rip apart and remind me why I am not amazing [Re: TameMe]
#23847660 - 11/19/16 07:54 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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it sounds more like delusion because you are fitting it into words that don't suit, and then all we see is the words which now shape the body of the whole thing. erase the whole mess starting with enlightenment and be honest.
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