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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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BDSM Thread
#23847265 - 11/19/16 12:04 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hey, Shroomery cats. I was wondering how many of y'all had any experience with BDSM relationships.
I've always liked rougher sex, and bondage has always been a kink of mine. But when me and my girl got serious, she told me that submission was a big fantasy of hers. She hadn't really got to experience it, and I never thought I'd get to be truly dominant.
Well, we did some research and some experimenting, and now we live a 24/7 total power exchange relationship. More on the Domestic Discipline side of things. And let me tell you, we have never been happier. We don't fight like we used to. It's just the best.
Anyways, how do y'all roll? What are y'all into?
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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I'm really glad to see this thread.
According to my FetLife account, I am into the following:
spanking, bondage, kinbaku, face slapping, cunt worship, fisting , boots, boot blacking, panty sniffing, tease and denial, rough body play, predicament bondage, lesbian domination, face fucking, and breath play...among other things. This is just the short list.
I identify as a switch, which is kind of hard in the community. You're, like, the bi-sexual of BDSM. Everyone's afraid you're going to switch sides on them. I like giving it, but I also like taking it sometimes too. I also think that, if you're going to top someone, you really need to know what you're going to put them through.
One thing I can't get into is humiliation. I tried it a few times, but it really messed me up kinda bad for a few days. Not really into the violet wand either. I guess if I had to break it down, I'm really more into the S&M aspect, and not so much the B&D.
Otherwise, I'm pretty open minded. I have 5 basic no's:
1. No kids. 2. No animals. 3. No poop. 4. No puke. 5. No pee (but this one's been broken once or twice, accidentally, and it wasn't terrible, just not my thing).
It's hard to be into S&M as a lesbian, I find, because it scares off a lot of women. They just automatically associate it with getting the shit beat out of you, and that's not it at all. It's more of like a raw, emotionally connected type bond.
I used to be a member of this group called "The Next Generation" wherein we learned RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink). We had doms, subs, and sissies come in and teach us proper technique so sex injuries were minimal. I learned everything I ever wanted to know about sounding in those classes.
I'd like to try to build a St. Andrews cross one day.
Funny story...I ended up on the front page of the Sun Sentinel's Society/Culture section a few years back in this get up. I wore it to a fetish ball and I remember someone with a really complicated camera taking my picture.
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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Anonymous #1
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100_the_cat

Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
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I think it's fucked in the head
I don't think any of that stuff is truly consensual, it's people acting out a sexualized version of dysfunctional roles they were forced into in childhood. At least on the part of the people who get hurt. Doms are just abusers who want to legitimize their abuse. There's still psychological suffering going on, the difference is nobody's admitting it.
Same shit as with the sex trade..."let's pretend this stuff is great and makes us happy!"
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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By your logic, where do people who are switches fall? Are we legitimizing our abuse or acting out past abuse?
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Quote:
100_the_cat said: I think it's fucked in the head
It's unfortunate that in this day and age, people who are into bdsm still have to face the kind of uninformed prejudice that you display here. I encourage you to educate yourself, as your response makes it painfully clear that you know virtually nothing about the people you speak of.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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It is well to note that cat has referenced alot of consensual sex that she didn't actually want. That does shift your opinion on these things.
I'm down with bondage. S&M stuff might come into it slightly but I'm not big into that. I don't own anyone and no one owns me. Even if it is confined only to the bedroom it conflicts with my ideas of freedom and openness.
...but if they are bound and gagged that is another story isn't it?
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Free time is the only time
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koraks
Registered: 06/02/03
Posts: 26,672
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: It is well to note that cat has referenced alot of consensual sex that she didn't actually want.
If she didn't want it, it wasn't consensual. Moreover, her views aren't consistent with the behavior and views of most people who are into bdsm stuff. Nasty experiences don't justify prejudice.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: koraks]
#23863530 - 11/24/16 12:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Not saying it's justification. I do think it helps to understand where people are coming from if you want to make them understand you.
You've never had guilt sex? Or pity sex? You can consent to alot of things you don't actually want. People consent to searches all the time and you know damn well they don't want anyone going through their stuff. People with contraband on them consent to searches too.
I dunno how often that sort of thing happens to guys but it seems to happen alot to young women.
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Free time is the only time
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: koraks]
#23863535 - 11/24/16 12:34 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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It works for me and mine, I don't care what anyone thinks about it. 
Doms are just abusers? Dom =/= Sadist. I'm not huge into pain. How am I am abuser?
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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Grateful Dead
A Growing Ambivalence



Registered: 11/19/12
Posts: 2,468
Loc: Parked Car, Playing NPR
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Often times acting out a sexualized version of dysfunctional childhood role is healthy because it leads to catharsis.

I will add that, not thinking critically about a fetish will retard a individuals psychological growth. But, I've found the majority of people involved in the scene are using BDSM in a introspective and critical manner. However, my view is very limited.
-------------------- Life begins on the other side of despair...
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FishyAl
neighborhood stoner man!



Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 59
Loc: VA
Last seen: 2 years, 2 months
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I only had one GF who was into BDSM, and that was the best sex I can remember! There is nothing deplorable about 2 or more consensual adults agreeing to dominate each other. It can actually feel very empowering to dominate, and exhilarating to be dominated. It's kind of like a therapy session mixed with the always awesome act of lovemaking.
-------------------- ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Reality is the cruelest dream. I am probably not a cop.....

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SARAtonin
Violent Dreams


Registered: 09/28/11
Posts: 15,911
Loc: Deutschland
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: FishyAl]
#23871375 - 11/27/16 08:54 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'd definitely consider myself a Domme. The idea of someone serving and worshipping me is a big turn on. I'm not really into the pain aspect super much, but there's nothing wrong with a little flogging. I checked out a presentation on Kinbaku a while back and it was super interesting. Just wish my wife was less vanilla. but that's not to say she doesn't have a little kink in her. 

-------------------- God kills indiscriminately and so shall we. For no creatures under God are as we are none so like him as ourselves. Want to join a cult? Click for details…
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Quote:
SARAtonin said: Just wish my wife was less vanilla. but that's not to say she doesn't have a little kink in her.
You have to find what she likes, everybody has some sort of fetish.
Quote:
100_the_cat said: Doms are just abusers who want to legitimize their abuse.
Not all, maybe some, but not all.
By that logic every Satanist kills little animals for fun, or every Christian is a bible thumper, which we both know is not true.
Some girls will let you know that they want to get sexually destroyed, they have been having sex with average guys for so long, it feels good for them to just let it all go, it's important to keep proper channels of communication open regarding sexual matters, you know the first few times you have sex with a new girl you don't want to go to far, just keep it simple and then talk about new things to try, eventually you will find out what works for both of you, and this is a lovely point to be at.
-------------------- ©️
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: Lucis]
#23871970 - 11/27/16 12:46 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I know it's not all BDSM and it's incredible diverse but so often I'm reminded of sado-masichism and that's just something I'm not turned on by.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23872781 - 11/27/16 05:07 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: I know it's not all BDSM and it's incredible diverse but so often I'm reminded of sado-masichism and that's just something I'm not turned on by.
I'm not big into S&M either. Pain isn't what turns me on. Submission, though . . .
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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If you're a BDSM dom and find someone willing to submit to whatever then blessings but I would think a lot of people find the salve/master side of BDSM degrading.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23872902 - 11/27/16 05:48 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I take a very 50/50 stance on it. I like playing sexually in almost every way, but consistently playing a role, or having a partner that consistently likes to play a role, bores the fuck out of me. Even playing sub/dom is too much for me, I like it to just flow natural as the experience flows. Sometimes my mood is aggressive as fuck, sometimes I just wanna lay back and get sucked/fucked.
As much as my own mood comes into play, I look for subtle cues in my partner and play into that a lot more (mostly).
As some wise cunt once said, variety is the spice of life, and I'll try almost anything once. A lot more than once if I enjoy it. But I'm a man of many, many moods, and my sex life reflects that.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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As long as you're honest that's what matters.
Though my standards are relatively high because I think too many people wear a facade these days.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23873079 - 11/27/16 06:47 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: If you're a BDSM dom and find someone willing to submit to whatever then blessings but I would think a lot of people find the salve/master side of BDSM degrading.
I am not talking about degrading anyone, I don't get down like that, I should have been clear above, I meant girls that like to be fucked hard, thrown around in bed, dominated that way, not talking down to them, or treating them disrespectfully at all, unless that was their kink, then I would try my best to give them what they wanted. As long as I didn't feel like I had to sign a pact with the devil to please them, I am all for it.
My ex was boring as fuck, I wish she would have been down for more toys. My next girl better be down with butt plugs and vibrators, I don't feel threatened by them, I don't get guys that do, most girls are not going to pass up a warm piece of cock, for an artificial one.
-------------------- ©️
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: Lucis]
#23873155 - 11/27/16 07:20 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's nice when people are comfortable enough with themselves to share their interests in that way.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23873188 - 11/27/16 07:35 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: It's nice when people are comfortable enough with themselves to share their interests in that way.
Fixed. People are far too scared to share their true selves in our western culture (I know others not well enough to comment, but I feel some definitely have the upper hand).
It's why I'm just about to run away and hide from it all so I can properly get to know myself. How many even know themselves well enough to know who they really are?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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I was specifying BDSM but the context is general.
I reckon some people are too scared to share their true selves because they have a lack of awareness or a fear of the spotlight effect.
Quote:
The spotlight effect is the phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Being that one is constantly in the center of one's own world, an accurate evaluation of how much one is noticed by others has shown to be uncommon.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly] 2
#23873320 - 11/27/16 08:19 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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My Sub was the one who introduced me to it. She doesn't find it degrading at all, she often describes it as empowering. I know it's done wonders for our relationship and my confidence. I feel more "man" than I ever have.
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Sounds like that probably ties in a lot with your last thread about lasting longer...
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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ShroomerInTheRye
Clit Commander



Registered: 01/12/12
Posts: 13,036
Loc: Themyscira
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I enjoy the release. I turn into a sopping wet puddle when I've gotten a really good spanking. Like the kind that stings a little the next day.
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<-- Clicky Clicky
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K-9 Unit


Registered: 08/02/16
Posts: 191
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I am a sissy.  But NOT a slut.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Sluts are not people who have a lot of sex because we have the right to our own bodies, a slut is someone who pretends to be in relationships while sleeping with others.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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K-9 Unit


Registered: 08/02/16
Posts: 191
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23875254 - 11/28/16 01:50 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: Sluts are not people who have a lot of sex because we have the right to our own bodies, a slut is someone who pretends to be in relationships while sleeping with others.
I didn't say that to be anyway disparaging towards people with a very active sex life, I encourage that. I was saying it in reference to the stigma associated with sissies that we are all cock hungry bimbos when in fact I don't even like cock.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23875381 - 11/28/16 02:45 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: I was specifying BDSM but the context is general.
I reckon some people are too scared to share their true selves because they have a lack of awareness or a fear of the spotlight effect.
Quote:
The spotlight effect is the phenomenon in which people tend to believe they are being noticed more than they really are. Being that one is constantly in the center of one's own world, an accurate evaluation of how much one is noticed by others has shown to be uncommon.
With the internet very few things do go unnoticed. Worse, everyone has a cell with a camera.
How often have you some shroomerite's date naked? last I saw was unconscious and I'm willing to bet she did not give consent for him to take the photo, much less post it on the internet.
People are always trying to make a new meme, funny, 4chan, or reddit story. I don't trust alot of people to not share my personal business or my ass, in a positive, negative, or attention seeking way with the entire fucking world thanks to the "anominity" of the internet. Maybe that's why I can't go deeper in my BDSM quirks. Dunno. Comparatively some of that probably is less kinky than what I've done with my current partner. Who has thoroughly enjoyed coaxing me out of pretty much any boundary she's found.
... As a dom I'm a bit resentful of that
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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So much goes unnoticed on the internet such as peer reviewed journal articles and factual information.
Having access to the internet or a camera doesn't automatically provide someone with awareness or knowledge of psychological phenomena such as the spotlight effect.
I think there's a lot of anonymity in the real world too, it's not just on the internet that people use facades.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23875457 - 11/28/16 03:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Can't argue with that. Just trying to point out that such fear is valid in some cases.
How do you think bad luck brian feels?
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Don't use a camera?
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Jenkem Addict
Safe Ass



Registered: 10/27/16
Posts: 92
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: BDSM Thread [Re: sudly]
#23918692 - 12/12/16 06:32 AM (7 years, 1 month ago) |
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Okay, gonna add my part too, lol. I personally almost can't enjoy "normal" sex, it just seems too boring to me and have to force myself to actually come.
I need to be dominant, ideally using a leash, a ballgag and giving direct orders. First then I am really aroused, but I also find that I quickly get bored and need to search for something new to try.
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LEGALIZE JENK!!!
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
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im kinky, def not listing my kinks here though 
But I have yet to really explore that side of myself just cause so much life bs getting in the way. Then again I've been wanting to check out the local scene but going to something like that alone terrifies me. Even if I had a friend to go with I still would be averse to actually going. Exploring things online is like also a no, just cause I dont feel like I can fully trust the person unless we met in person and people around here for online dating is like not even worth bothering with, been down that road too many times. Not to mention dealing with unicorn hunters, like being poly brings a whole other set of issues too.
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Your neck of the woods gets more conventions than mine does. I'd go with ya Cosmic.
My partner called me a furry not long ago. And I was... Not happy about it. I do not wish to dress up in a cartoon animal suit and have orgies with other cartoon animals. But I looked up the definition:
Quote:
The furry fandom is a subculture interested in fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics. Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes
And apparently I'm a furry  Though I'd like to think it's the other way around. I like people with animalistic behaviors.
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Free time is the only time
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
Edited by sudly (12/12/16 06:27 PM)
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Cosmic_Flame
THE BREAKFAST EMPRESS


Registered: 11/16/12
Posts: 4,184
Loc: Under The Sea
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: Your neck of the woods gets more conventions than mine does. I'd go with ya Cosmic.
My partner called me a furry not long ago. And I was... Not happy about it. I do not wish to dress up in a cartoon animal suit and have orgies with other cartoon animals. But I looked up the definition:
Quote:
The furry fandom is a subculture interested in fictional anthropomorphic animal characters with human personalities and characteristics. Examples of anthropomorphic attributes include exhibiting human intelligence and facial expressions, the ability to speak, walk on two legs, and wear clothes
And apparently I'm a furry  Though I'd like to think it's the other way around. I like people with animalistic behaviors.
Aww thanks 
like lmao though, reminds of when I found out I was into certain kinks and I was like omg no way, just cause stigma attached or whatever but I've learned to embrace it. Its just healthier that way vs denying it forever.
-------------------- Pull the blinds and change their minds....
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