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Unfolding Nature Shop: Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineCanon
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Registered: 06/21/16
Posts: 377
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls
    #23843754 - 11/17/16 10:54 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Hi!

I dont know how to say that but I give it a try.

I have been in a relation ship for nearly one year and I am happy and she is really a nice and reasonable girl but I think all the time of other girls.

I am that kind of guy that changes his mind and interests very fast. Its hard to imagine that one has merely one sexual partner for the the rest of his life. As a man, I daresay that we need sexual variety in order to have good sexual balance.

How do you deal with that? Any recommendations?

Thx in advance?


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InvisibleZacksJourney
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Registered: 05/02/16
Posts: 543
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon]
    #23844076 - 11/18/16 03:20 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I believe you won't be able to commit to one girl, according to what you say.
Even if you're convinced that this is the right thing to do, eventually, you'll brake someones heart, as most of guys (and girls) do, it's our nature.

I too think that we as a species are not built to have one partner for the rest of our lives.

My best advice is to find someone who thinks like you, that sex and a good healthy partnership are 2 different things.

Sex is one of our needs, try eating the same meal for the rest of your life.


--------------------


ALL MUSHROOMS ARE EDIBLE, some are just only edible once.

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OfflineCanon
Stranger

Registered: 06/21/16
Posts: 377
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: ZacksJourney]
    #23844224 - 11/18/16 06:05 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Indeed. But there is nearly no girl who agrees with that. I dont want my girl to have other sex partners, as well, but I assume men think differently regarding this issue.


How do you cope with that? Would this be a reason to live a life as a single man in order to get many sex partners? I dont know.

I am torn.

What do you think?


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Offlinenuds
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon] * 2
    #23844247 - 11/18/16 06:19 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Break up with her and see how quickly youre on your knees begging for that sweet steady pussy back. The grass is always greener.

Nah but seriously what do you want out of the relationship? Youre obviously not deeply and irrevocably in love, so are you in it for fun? A steady root? Emotional crutch? All three? Is she on the same page as you?

Dont tag along a nice girl for your own selfish reasons because in the time she may spend trying to win your heart and falling ever deeply in love for a lost cause she could have found something special with someone better.


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OfflineCanon
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Registered: 06/21/16
Posts: 377
Loc: Europe
Last seen: 2 years, 3 months
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: nuds]
    #23844262 - 11/18/16 06:31 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I just ask myself, how couples are together for 30-40 years? I am quite astonished. These men must also have a need for other women but they deal with it, in a way.


I dont know what to say but my thoughts tell me to have sex with other girls. I am really torn.


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InvisibleZacksJourney
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Posts: 543
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon]
    #23844264 - 11/18/16 06:34 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Canon said:
I dont want my girl to have other sex partners




Then forget what I've said.

If you are choosing the route of having sex as much as you can, then don't ever get into a serious relationship, for the sake of your partners.

Set a goal of 500 girls, hopefully you'll get sick and bored then maybe you'll want a real relationship. Or you'll probably get addicted to it. idk.


--------------------


ALL MUSHROOMS ARE EDIBLE, some are just only edible once.

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OfflineChakra Shock
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Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon] * 3
    #23844731 - 11/18/16 09:50 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

People who are in healthy, long-lasting relationships like that value the connection, emotionally, psychologically and spiritually, that they have with their partner more than the sex, or at least more than promiscuity. If anyone is happy and has stayed together that long, they have probably had some great sex.

For instance, think about one of your best friends. That's a platonic relationship, so it's not quite the same, but you wouldn't ever think of 'dumping' them for a new friend, right?

The same can be true in a sexual relationship, it's just that if you value promiscuity over the friendship and relationship with your partner, then you'll never be able to tap into the deeper connections of your sexual relationships.


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OfflineAldous
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Chakra Shock] * 1
    #23844856 - 11/18/16 10:39 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

What he said.

The only thing that may need some further defining is: what exactly is a true, deep relationship? In my opinion and experience, a true relationship is one in which both partners allow themselves to be open and vulnerable enough to be changed by the relationship, and discard or change beliefs about themselves they didn't even know they entertained. In your case, your beliefs about sex and its place in your life and relationship might be changed one day; in fact you might just realize they're just that, beliefs, while you currently think of them as the objective reality you live in. It all depends on how open you allow yourself to be, how deeply you're prepared to let yourself get touched, and who you are/will be in a relationship with, obviously.

But don't overthink it all, live your life, walk your path, and maybe you'll realize this and many other things along the way.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon] * 1
    #23844967 - 11/18/16 11:17 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Canon said:
Indeed. But there is nearly no girl who agrees with that. I dont want my girl to have other sex partners, as well, but I assume men think differently regarding this issue.





Not really, we just don't talk about it as much cuz men and women call girls who consider extras whores.


I personally believe human beings, of both sexes, are meant to be polyamorous. It's society that pushes the idea of one partner for life and jealousy, fear of being alone, and fear of not being loved feeds it.

It's not ever fair to be sleeping with multiple people while your partner is monogamous to you. Never. No matter what she says it is not a good long term idea. Either you both have multiple partners or you both remain monogamous. That's the only way it works.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #23846643 - 11/18/16 08:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
It's not ever fair to be sleeping with multiple people while your partner is monogamous to you. Never. No matter what she says it is not a good long term idea. Either you both have multiple partners or you both remain monogamous. That's the only way it works.



Absolutely agree.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisiblesudly
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon]
    #23847233 - 11/18/16 11:44 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Don't love her and let her know so that you don't develop feelings and can stay friends with benefits.

If love is selfless care than be honest and say your care is a desire for her and not love. 

Basically your only choice if you want to see other people is to be honest about wanting friends with benefits.

Unless you're both open to an open relationship but that requires good communication and unbroken trust.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineThatKidWithTheFace
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon] * 2
    #23847272 - 11/19/16 12:07 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Canon said:
I just ask myself, how couples are together for 30-40 years? I am quite astonished. These men must also have a need for other women but they deal with it, in a way.


I dont know what to say but my thoughts tell me to have sex with other girls. I am really torn.




Different strokes for different folks, but I've always been a one woman kind of guy. I honestly don't see the appeal of having multiple partners. It seems to cheapen it for me.

YMMV


--------------------
Check Out My Beats
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[quote]Sheekle said:
[quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said:
Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote]
u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]


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InvisibleMojo
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Registered: 07/12/07
Posts: 1,676
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon]
    #23848082 - 11/19/16 10:32 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Canon said:
Hi!

I dont know how to say that but I give it a try.

I have been in a relation ship for nearly one year and I am happy and she is really a nice and reasonable girl but I think all the time of other girls.

I am that kind of guy that changes his mind and interests very fast. Its hard to imagine that one has merely one sexual partner for the the rest of his life. As a man, I daresay that we need sexual variety in order to have good sexual balance.

How do you deal with that? Any recommendations?

Thx in advance?





A decade ago I was in the same position you are.  No one knows the right path for you.  But I decided to pursue sexual relationships and leave  my monogamous relationship.  Nothing is unnatural or wrong with desiring variety; but variety is both good and bad.  No matter how you play-it the risk of dealing with emotional instability, hurting people, stds, pregnancy, ect.., is present. 

My compulsory desire for variety has evolved to a more rational middle-ground. I had to ask myself, how much variety do I need to satisfy this urge while simultaneously keeping my life 100% in-tact, and it turns out, I don't need much variety at all.

I am in a long-term, non-monogamous relationship.  I have the freedom to sleep with other women at will, and I rarely do.  My partner also has the freedom to sleep with other people, and as of now she has yet to pursue anyone...  I still have that same urge for variety as I used to, but it is largely suppressed by what I learned during my pursuit of which, not the least of which is the fact that when you are in love, you tend to miss your partner even when you are in the company of other women. 

When I realized that empty sex did nothing to satisfy me in life, it took a lot of desire for variety out of the equation.  Because by definition, sex that is not empty is meaningful.  And meaningful sex is hard to come by, which is part of what makes it so special..  So for me now, the idea of having sex with some random "hot-chick" is far less appealing than finding someone that both my partner and I connect with; as I get older, my standards have only increased, so this is a rare find.

If you don't pursue your desires you may always wonder what would have been; but that pursuit is not without risk of losing what you already have.


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OfflineEzuma
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: ThatKidWithTheFace] * 1
    #23855870 - 11/21/16 10:29 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

ThatKidWithTheFace said:
Quote:

Canon said:
I just ask myself, how couples are together for 30-40 years? I am quite astonished. These men must also have a need for other women but they deal with it, in a way.


I dont know what to say but my thoughts tell me to have sex with other girls. I am really torn.




Different strokes for different folks, but I've always been a one woman kind of guy. I honestly don't see the appeal of having multiple partners. It seems to cheapen it for me.

YMMV




same :shrug:


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OfflineMo.Sigh.Aw
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Registered: 09/04/14
Posts: 61
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Ezuma]
    #23858808 - 11/22/16 09:23 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You sir have to find yourself a unicorn. Once you do that your golden .


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OfflineMo.Sigh.Aw
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Registered: 09/04/14
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon]
    #23860639 - 11/23/16 01:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

it's one of those things. some people get bored easily, some people are just happy with one person .


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Mo.Sigh.Aw]
    #23862585 - 11/24/16 04:47 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You're not relationship material if you have this problem


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OfflineL_iggins
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Registered: 11/20/16
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23862932 - 11/24/16 08:28 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I'd say that's pretty natural my friend!


--------------------
L Dog:mushroom2::stoned::lahey:


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Anonymous #1

Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: L_iggins]
    #23863075 - 11/24/16 09:39 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

In my twenties i felt just like you op and thought monogamy and marriage was for fools, and i would be a playa fo life, too short style. After living out the majority of my sexual fantasies and banging a whole bunch of strange for years, the hook up, friends with benefits, one night stand thing gets old.

It could be the grass is always greener, or me getting older, but my girl now is cool as fuck, and going out for some strange would hurt her, and also won't be as good (we get along the best ever, and sex is amazing)  and would make me feel bad and ruin our relationship. Since i am happy with her and vice versa  why would i want to risk losing what we have?

The whole dating game scene is a lot less appealing when your older. Women are divorced, have kids, or are crazy, etc. It's not the same kind of selection as when you are younger.  Maybe you won't see it like i do, when you're my age.  In my opinion it would be a drag to have to try to meet a women who is not crazy or without a ton of baggage or kids or ex husband drama.

Hope this gives you insight.


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OfflineStarstepper
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Re: Relationship - steadily aroused by other girls [Re: Canon]
    #23907957 - 12/08/16 06:16 PM (7 years, 1 month ago)

Sounds like you lost interest a long time ago.

You described your girlfriend as a nice and reasonable girl? Haha! That says it all right there if you ask me.

You clearly have a case of "the grass may be greener" going on.


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