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Anonymous #1
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Depression
#23843136 - 11/17/16 07:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Recently i've made some bad choices that have ended me up in some terrible places. It all stemmed from a relationship. I used to be in really good shape but I done put on about 40 pounds from unhealthy eating and not working out.
This sucks. I went to a PT session today and could barely do the exercises.
Is there hope for me? I feel like i'm 50 years old body wise.. Never have I bad in this bad of shape before.. plus I have back problems.. thoughts advice welcome..
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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I've been in a similar spot. I dunno about advice but I can share my experience.
I made alot of bad decisions when I was young and I still don't know what exactly caused it, perhaps a combination of bad environment, physical abuse, malnutrition, and genetics. A paramount of problems including self loathing.
I've struggled with depression for 15 years now, perhaps even for my entire life. It's hard, harder than most people understand, especially when your sick and in pain most of the time and can't do the things you used to, to say nothing of what you should be able to do.
I look unrested most of the time, but not ill. I have been for at least 6 years now though. The biggest and hardest thing I have had to learn is that I am sick and I cannot do what others do. I can't push myself. Which was hard to accept, I used to be very masculine, an athlete through all my childhood and worked out daily as I got older. It just about broke me to finally come to terms with the fact that I am unwell. And I still don't really know why.
But once I was able to accept it I changed my diet and lifestyle and do what I can to take care of myself while still staying moderately active. Took me a long time to learn my limits too. It's been a 3 year process and I can't begin to tell you how much better I feel. I mean I'm still sick and in pain more days than not but I no longer feel like I'm only one foot from death. That alone has done alot for my depression.
I have a hard time talking about it, most people don't understand... No our culture avoids pain, even speaking of it. Its unacceptable to talk about in most situations. Another thing that has helped me alot is opening up, bit by bit, starting with people online about my experiences and how I get by, if only by my fingertips, every day.
My problem is I tend to overuse friendship. They (my closer friends) tolerated me and my ramblings but they eventually got sick of the depressing negative topics I feel the need to discuss. And I can't blame them for that. ...but avoiding me doesn't help alot. Meh. That's another balance I've not figured out yet. But I will.
I guess my advice is to accept it, don't avoid it, talk about it in a measured way, be aware of it and vent as you need but DON'T focus on it, and do what you need to take care of yourself. Listen to your body more than your doctors.
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Free time is the only time
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Anonymous #1
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I am also in a similar situation everyone accuse me of being so negative all the time but my life is completely fucked up plus i'm struggling with a major health issue with no diagnosis.. Seems like all people wanna hear is how good you're doing..
Anyways went back to the gym and felt like shit. I saw all my old friends there. And I couldn't even do half of the shit the trainer was trying to get me to do.. Almost made me wanna give up and commit suicide.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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If it's been a long term thing I would suspect a biological cause.
Short term maybe you just need to slow down and let the body catch up.
Of course coming home to a boring life and/or no social life / a social life with social problems is going to depress you.
I certainly can't help there, see my thread - I'm trying to get that going. I like the outdoors but when I get home it's like, "yeah wish I was like, dead", and it's back outside to Nature where everything makes sense haha.
But the brain can mess up, maybe pharma is okay if you're out of options after many years. You've probably exhausted psychological solutions.
Life is so good when your brain is well. So, so good. So bad when your brain is ill or damaged. So, so bad. Life hinges on the state of your brain.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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This is true. There is definitely a correlation between feeling unhealthy and depressed. I've noticed that if you are already sick and you focus yourself on negativity you're going to feel alot worse.
Try to slow down OP. Maybe consider substituting your normal work outs with hiking. It's done a world of good for me personally. Gyms are my bane. Even if you're not working with someone it feels like everyone's gonna be watching you... It's bad for the psyche.
It's a culture thing, not talking about any serious discomfort. And it's about drove me crazy. Still does sometimes.
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Free time is the only time
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Anonymous #1
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Nothing really interests me. I just like staying inside by myself. Going to the gym is the only time I go out.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Get interested in something man. Not having hobbies is going to allow your depression and sense oof having a lack of purpose grow.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Do you like music? sports? swimming?
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Free time is the only time
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 3 minutes
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Quote:
beforethedawn said:
If it's been a long term thing I would suspect a biological cause.
That's an assumption many make, without evidence.
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
This is true. There is definitely a correlation between feeling unhealthy and depressed...
Our minds have a negativity bias. We focus on the negative. It is the smart thing to do.
In our heritage, in the jungle, we depended on this anxiety and fear for our survival
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Not entirely what I meant.
When I was in ROTC they had a saying "dealing with pain is just a case of mind over matter. You don't mind, it don't matter." and I've had to learn the hard way you do have to listen to your body... But letting yourself sit and stew in those negative uncomfortable feelings then you will feel worse mentally and if you feel worse mentally then you feel worse physically... And that is a hell of a shitty cycle.
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Free time is the only time
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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I just want to balance out my comment with - repressed anger, or other negative emotions, can totally destroy your mood. They will have biological impacts, like chemical imbalances in the brain.
If you have any violent fantasies that recur, time to let it out somehow, brother/sister. You won't believe how much better you feel.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 3 minutes
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
When I was in ROTC they had a saying "dealing with pain is just a case of mind over matter. You don't mind, it don't matter." and I've had to learn the hard way you do have to listen to your body... But letting yourself sit and stew in those negative uncomfortable feelings then you will feel worse mentally and if you feel worse mentally then you feel worse physically... And that is a hell of a shitty cycle.
Sounds like a recipe for the fast track to Hell!
Many millions get drunk and high every night, using this perspective...
"Dealing with pain is just a case of mind over matter. You don't mind, it don't matter."
The more we try to stuff, ignore, and defeat our disturbing emotions, the more miserable we become.
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Recently i've made some bad choices that have ended me up in some terrible places. It all stemmed from a relationship. I used to be in really good shape but I done put on about 40 pounds from unhealthy eating and not working out.
This sucks. I went to a PT session today and could barely do the exercises.
Is there hope for me? I feel like i'm 50 years old body wise.. Never have I bad in this bad of shape before.. plus I have back problems.. thoughts advice welcome..
with exercise, there is always hope. keep at it and you will see results soon enough. seriously though, why do anything else other than try to be healthy? it can't possibly hurt to be active.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: Depression [Re: 404]
#23861293 - 11/23/16 04:58 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Definitely stay active.
Try not to overdo it though.
Last thing you want to do is injure yourself and put yourself back farther. But as long as you're working with someone and keeping open communication with your trainer you shouldn't be at high risk for injury.
Also, please do take my advice on getting interested in something. Between depression and feeling 'weak' it's going to be hard for you to stay motivated at the gym. Look into dancing, or swimming, or any outdoor activity. Something that's a little less bland and appliable than lifting weights.
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Free time is the only time
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Totally thought OP was dealing with an undiagnosed illness. But it sounds like it very well could just be a long trial of bad diet and low activity + drug use or whatever. It could be that you have an illness that is helping you feel shitty but it could also be that it is totally unrelated to your physical fitness. (again I don't know since you haven't mentioned specifics)
My advice is still applicable either way though. Be patient with yourself. Be understanding with yourself. And keep pushing at a steady balanced pace. Give yourself breaks when your body really needs them. Give it the nutrients it needs (there's a huge article about food cravings relative to what nutrients we are missing, I'll try to find it.) And keep working.
Like I mentioned before I've been dealing with illness and surgeries and malnutrition for years but with perseverance and patience I have gained alot of muscle mass back and I don't feel nearly as weak now as I did 3-4 years ago. I still can't deadlift 200+lbs like I used to but I'm sure I can double what I'd have done 3 years ago.
 ...not that I work with free weights anymore. Most of my exercise comes from playing outside. I hurt myself so many times using free weights I don't think I'll ever even try to do a deadlift again.
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Free time is the only time
Edited by CookieCrumbs (11/23/16 05:09 PM)
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Feel free to speak about said undiagnosed illness if you wish OP. I've studied alot of medical conditions with what me and my family have been through. I may be able to give you better advice if I knew your specific symptoms. I'd dare say I'm almost certain I and others here could.
But I understand if you don't want to. with that and the exercise either way
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Free time is the only time
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 3 minutes
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Also, please do take my advice on getting interested in something.
Sorry if I sound like a prick Crumbs, but how do you suggest engaging in such a task?
I think it's more helpful to understand the drive towards negativity than to seek passions.
The power of negative thinking is much stronger than the power of positive thinking.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 30 days
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said: I think it's more helpful to understand the drive towards negativity than to seek passions.
The power of negative thinking is much stronger than the power of positive thinking.
I agree with trying to understand the drive towards negativity, and wish I understood it better.
I think it's easier for most people to play the victim in life, because once we begin down that path, we realize that if we get others to pity us in someway, we can have others do out bidding for us, and this starts a cycle of manipulation, where we end up manipulating people with out emotions to help us with many things in our lives.
It's harder to think for yourself, to humble yourself and ask for help with something, at least for many people it's hard for them to do so. It seems like many people think that by being humble and asking for help, that you're showing weakness, when in reality you're trying to learn how to do something, which I think is showing strength.
Some people get into negative patterns because they were raised in abusive homes, and that's all they know, so they wouldn't know what to do with themselves if they up and stopped their negative ways. I spoke with my therapist about this a while ago, about how I wanted to help people but I couldn't make them help themselves, and I couldn't go about ordering them to accept a way of being because that would be wrong too, she said people that have been a certain way for many years usually wont change because it's all they know, this is true I think.
Some days I have to force myself to do some hobbies, it's like at first I don't want to do anything, but then once I get going at it I realize how beneficial it is for me and am glad I started doing it.
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Edited by Lucis (11/24/16 05:09 PM)
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: Depression [Re: Lucis] 1
#23862980 - 11/24/16 08:51 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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>>I spoke with my therapist about this a while ago, about how I wanted to help people but I couldn't make them help themselves, and I couldn't go about ordering them to accept a way of being because that would be wrong too, she said people that have been a certain way for many years usually wont change because it's all they know, this is true I think.
Perhaps psilocybin will come in to play here one day. I really hope MAPS pulls through with it.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:
Quote:
CookieCrumbs said:
Also, please do take my advice on getting interested in something.
Sorry if I sound like a prick Crumbs, but how do you suggest engaging in such a task?
I think it's more helpful to understand the drive towards negativity than to seek passions.
The power of negative thinking is much stronger than the power of positive thinking.
If you have nothing to be positive about then you will be more inclined to negativity.
I find it hard to believe that someone can have no interest in anything at all. Even if you have to dig back to the things you enjoyed as a child and figure out if you can rekindle those things it will help hold negativity at bay. Just because you have something TO BE positive about.
You can think positively all you want but if you do nothing but go to work everyday and watch TV or whatever to pass the time till work the next day then you will eventually find yourself unhappy.
I agree that passions alone won't end depression but they can help with the motivation and incentive. If that makes sense?
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Free time is the only time
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