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JohnEddy
Stranger
Registered: 11/16/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it
#23837524 - 11/16/16 01:26 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Hi everyone, I came here because I thought I could get some insight from people who have more experience than me, because I am absolutely scared to death right now
The past couple of months, my reality has been deteriorating at a progressively fast rate, and in the past week or so it`s reached a fever pitch. Every waking hour, with no exaggeration, I`m analyzing all of my surroundings to an upsetting degree, and it`s to a point where I don`t recognize the things that used to be fun and familiar. I`m hyper aware of my own mortality and the vastness of the universe I live in constantly.
I`m 20 years old, I consider myself a smart, well rounded person. I tried acid over the summer for the first time, and since then I`ve dropped about 5 or 6 times, and all except 1 trip was really good. Acid has made me a much more patient, understanding, and insightful person. It`s helped me unveil a lot of curtains I didn`t see before.
With that said, I`ve seen a major difference in how nervous I get about the subject of death and meaning. I used to be able to distract myself but now everything comforting seems like a lie, like a wall of delusion that I`ve seen for being just that and can`t unsee
now, I had a similar crisis when I was 17, when I had only smoked weed once or twice, so it`s at least partially in my DNA to worry about such things. Also, I have anxiety disorder and several other mental problems, so I don`t doubt that at least some of this would be happening anyway
I`ve heard all sorts of philosophy, and I understand it, and some people have even promised me that this is a phase everyone goes through before some kind of spiritual awakening, but I`m in the mindset where I don`t feel like being "Spiritually awake" is really worth anything
But anyway, my day to day life is becoming difficult beyond words, and I desperately need help, so any advice would be appreciated
thank you - John
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: JohnEddy]
#23837533 - 11/16/16 01:30 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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find something you have passion for then do it the rest of your life.
Idle hands are the devils business.
having a job is essentially someone paying you to solve some kind of problem. So find a problem you like solving and do it for a career. if you're not solving problems you are creating them.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: JohnEddy] 1
#23837538 - 11/16/16 01:34 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Figuring out the cause wont change anything.
Abandon the intellect which craves security in what is only a dream.
When we reflect on our own morality we can only be still and calm in the face of mystery or shrink in fear of it, but not both, you must choose. Love it or hate it, thats how it is. Running back in forth between the two will only lead to suffering and learning till you settle down and begin to find ease and comfort in enchantment.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (11/16/16 01:39 AM)
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: The Blind Ass]
#23837546 - 11/16/16 01:41 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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You'll be ok, be good and do the next right thing and keep working hard in life and cherishing your relationships and accomplishing your dreams and goals. One big happy family with a couple odd balls eh?
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (11/16/16 01:41 AM)
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: JohnEddy]
#23837551 - 11/16/16 01:48 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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read the bible.
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Peyote Road
Stranger

Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
Loc: Great Lakes State
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: JohnEddy]
#23837564 - 11/16/16 02:03 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
JohnEddy said: Hi everyone, I came here because I thought I could get some insight from people who have more experience than me, because I am absolutely scared to death right now
The past couple of months, my reality has been deteriorating at a progressively fast rate, and in the past week or so it`s reached a fever pitch. Every waking hour, with no exaggeration, I`m analyzing all of my surroundings to an upsetting degree, and it`s to a point where I don`t recognize the things that used to be fun and familiar. I`m hyper aware of my own mortality and the vastness of the universe I live in constantly.
I`m 20 years old, I consider myself a smart, well rounded person. I tried acid over the summer for the first time, and since then I`ve dropped about 5 or 6 times, and all except 1 trip was really good. Acid has made me a much more patient, understanding, and insightful person. It`s helped me unveil a lot of curtains I didn`t see before.
With that said, I`ve seen a major difference in how nervous I get about the subject of death and meaning. I used to be able to distract myself but now everything comforting seems like a lie, like a wall of delusion that I`ve seen for being just that and can`t unsee
now, I had a similar crisis when I was 17, when I had only smoked weed once or twice, so it`s at least partially in my DNA to worry about such things. Also, I have anxiety disorder and several other mental problems, so I don`t doubt that at least some of this would be happening anyway
I`ve heard all sorts of philosophy, and I understand it, and some people have even promised me that this is a phase everyone goes through before some kind of spiritual awakening, but I`m in the mindset where I don`t feel like being "Spiritually awake" is really worth anything
But anyway, my day to day life is becoming difficult beyond words, and I desperately need help, so any advice would be appreciated
thank you - John
Yes this is a phase that many people go through that is part of awakening. Also, feeling like being spiritually awake isn't worth anything, is also part of this phase.
-------------------- The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra
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endogenous
נפל מגיהינום


Registered: 10/07/12
Posts: 2,365
Last seen: 25 days, 1 hour
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: Peyote Road]
#23837734 - 11/16/16 05:16 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Anxiety and panic have alot to do with your physical condition. Eating alot of sugar and carbs causes the blood sugar to drop. When the blood sugar drops, the adrenal gland puts out adrenaline to raise it back up. Adrenaline causes anxiety and panic.
Make sure you're getting good protein and cut out sugar and refined carbs. Lacto/ovo vegetarian is a good kind of diet (milk and eggs).
Inositol (vitamin B8) is good to relieve panic/anxiety -- and it tastes sweet. It's also good to help sleep.
And, of course, a healthy life-style with exercise, etc. is a good idea.
-------------------- The Day of the Lord has come like a thief in the night. -- It is there but no one knows it.
Edited by endogenous (11/17/16 04:14 AM)
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ruaware
Registered: 06/30/16
Posts: 383
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.
Edited by ruaware (12/06/16 02:08 AM)
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wolf8312
Pennywise


Registered: 10/01/12
Posts: 2,356
Last seen: 4 days, 7 hours
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Re: I`m having a crippling existential crisis and I don`t know if acid caused it [Re: ruaware]
#23837804 - 11/16/16 06:17 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Every time I smoke a significant amount of weed these days I feel the abyss beneath my feet and the feeling we are all just waiting for the strings to snap is indeed terrifying but I also learned through such delusional experiences (of thinking it would happen any second) that you have a choice. Either to stay calm and deal with it when it happens, or kick and scream and blubber and suffer while you wait for it to happen anyway.
Live a good life and die, or torture yourself to the brink of insanity and die!
You can only make it worse for yourself and by stressing out and accelerate the process.
Everybody dies and somehow everybody gets through and no doubt its such an awful process that there's sure to be a kick ass blissful paradox waiting for us all as reward!
You're here now came from nothing into something and will pass on into nothing/something again until eventually you'll be back here again in this exact situation talking to me! Everything has happened before and will happen again.
So make a good life for yourself now and grab it by the shoulders. If not you'll be doomed to repeat a terrible existence again and again. You're attitude is too defeatist dude, dont feel sorry for yourself and there's nothing wrong with your DNA! Look death right in the eye and spit in it!
You cant stop it so what possible good will worrying do?
-------------------- "I'm every nightmare you ever had. I am your worst dreams come true. I am everything you ever were afraid of." Pennywise the dancing clown
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