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Anonymous #1
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girlfriend and I both cheated on each other.
#23829826 - 11/13/16 05:00 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So this weekend my girlfriend calls me crying and tells me that she cheated on me. She told me it was at the end of September, she was at a show with her friend and she was really drunk. She said she saw her ex boyfriend there and that it was all a blur but they made out for like two minutes. The thing is the summer of last year I had cheated on her to, I made out with one of my friends but the next day the guilt was too overwhelming so I told her. I mean she forgave me and gave me the second chance which I was really grateful for because I really love this girl. Me and her are still in college but we've talked about being with each other for a really long time and living together recently but now this bull shit pops up. I think I'll give her a second chance because its whats fair and I know she does care about me but also she waited 43 days to tell me. She said she waited so long to tell me because it wasn't real if she didn't address it to herself but she was being eaten alive. She says she really loves me and that she has no feelings for this guy whatsoever, and that she wants us to stay together.We are going to see each other for the first time in a while this weekend, and Im not really sure what to say. I guess I just needed somewhere to talk about this Im not really sure what to do. I feel pretty insecure, sad/pissed , and uncertain right now.
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hex_enduction
satta massa gana



Registered: 01/26/14
Posts: 12,051
Last seen: 2 years, 8 months
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #1] 2
#23829957 - 11/13/16 05:45 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm the type who's quick to lose trust with people over relatively petty shit like that, but if it were me I'd drop the bitch. If she really cared about your relationship she wouldn't have done it I guess I kinda have the "once a cheater always a cheater" mentality.
Obviously, the reality of it is probably not too black and white, but I gotta draw the line at any kind of cheating. No matter how much I loved the girl it wouldn't be worth the blow to my self esteem and i feel like the relationship would never be the same after that. But then again she took you back after you cheated yourself so maybe you owe her the chance 
Either way I hope you work things out soon.
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Connoisseur said: oh ive cried on drugs sunshine said: Tragic. I told the cop not to do it but he didn't listen.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: hex_enduction]
#23830080 - 11/13/16 06:32 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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thank you for your time and response.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#23830552 - 11/13/16 09:01 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Just know it wasn't a mistake and that she chose to make out with that guy. People don't make mistakes they make choices.
She chose not to tell you for 43 days.. if she genuinely felt guilty she wouldn't have waited that long.
My best guess is that it was a revenge act for how she felt when you cheated.
It doesn't mean it's the end of the world but in my eyes you two should probably take 2 weeks time apart(not breaking up just some space) to figure it out yourself.
Personally I wouldn't stay but I wouldn't cheat either if I was in an actual relationship.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#23830603 - 11/13/16 09:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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"It wasn't real if she didn't address it to herself" wtf does that mean.
Anyway, alot of people are going to tell you to break up with her. From the title alone I'd say break up. But neither of you actually had sex with someone else (right?) so it is a bit different. Maybe have a talk about it and set some ground rules, if she can't go out and drink and act responsibly then maybe she shouldn't be out drinking.
You both did something childish. If, in both cases, it was because you were being reckless and/or impulsive then address that. Grow together. Or apart. Only you know what's best for you. But if you feel like its because she's unhappy with the relationship or you are or you feel it's likely to happen again then end it.
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Free time is the only time
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #1] 1
#23830749 - 11/13/16 10:28 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'd probably let it slide
Would be more concerned with the fact that you rarely see eachother, big no-go for me.
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koods
Ribbit



Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 1 hour, 1 minute
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Repertoire89]
#23831016 - 11/14/16 01:42 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Cheated? You guys made out with someone else. This is a minor infraction. You guys are in college. Shit happens.
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NotSheekle said “if I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: koods]
#23831035 - 11/14/16 02:00 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If she wasn't feeling guilty she just wouldve said nothing, potentially the thought of the damage it would do held her back. Its up to what you can accept op but I disagree with the hardliners above also what Koods said, shit happens......it'll be nothing in 10 years if your still together.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: hex_enduction]
#23846918 - 11/18/16 10:01 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
hex_enduction said: I'm the type who's quick to lose trust with people over relatively petty shit like that, but if it were me I'd drop the bitch. If she really cared about your relationship she wouldn't have done it I guess I kinda have the "once a cheater always a cheater" mentality.
This
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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Anonymous #2
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I'd leave someone over that. And it's not petty. She just happened to see her ex at a show? I find that hard to believe. They met up. They made out for two minutes too huh? She was really drunk apparently. I don't know about you guys but I've never made out with a chick and not been all over them, let alone an ex. Plus, you're drunk so you have a sense of time? No she's being shady. More happened in this story than is being told.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#23850265 - 11/20/16 12:24 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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They could live in a small city or town and have similar interests. Which most of the time the people you date are in the same town and share interests...
You may not randomly meet alot of people you know at shows but I do. Pretty often. I also don't have a sense of time when I'm drunk. And not much sense when sober. And ALOT of people are easily guiled into dancing and kissing when they're drunk and partying. Especially when they're young. I find this entire scenario pretty unremarkable tbh.
People try a little too hard to empathize sometimes I think.
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Free time is the only time
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100_the_cat

Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23850544 - 11/20/16 06:02 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Got what you deserved
You did it first, it came back on you
You got a taste of your own medicine
Doesn't feel too good, does it?
Here's a hint: don't fuck up next time
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Anonymous #2
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23850570 - 11/20/16 06:23 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
CookieCrumbs said: They could live in a small city or town and have similar interests. Which most of the time the people you date are in the same town and share interests...
You may not randomly meet alot of people you know at shows but I do. Pretty often. I also don't have a sense of time when I'm drunk. And not much sense when sober. And ALOT of people are easily guiled into dancing and kissing when they're drunk and partying. Especially when they're young. I find this entire scenario pretty unremarkable tbh.
People try a little too hard to empathize sometimes I think.
So because someone is weak that validates their actions? What about foresight? Before my dad passed he could barely hold a knife, and would often cut himself. So we stopped letting him use knives. But I guess it's the knive's fault for baring with us. 
Between you and me, I think you're the one trying a little too hard to empathize.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#23851041 - 11/20/16 10:29 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I think CC was spot on. Reading into it and thinking about "oh maybe she planned this, oh maybe she never gave a shit at all" etc. is just kind of like going down the rabbit hole with it. All OP has are the facts and her side of the story. If that isn't enough for him to forgive her and try again then just thank each other for the times you had and move on, but if he can trust her ( with some reserve, at least for a while, I should think ) then by all means, carry on.
Besides, unless you're involved with some cosmic, reincarnation soul mate type deal, it's really not so much to get hung up on. More like a fling which moved on.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#23851823 - 11/20/16 03:23 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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See my previous post. If she really can't control herself drinking then they should definitely address that. But the act alone may have already taught her that lesson. She did certainly feel guilty about it.
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Free time is the only time
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Anonymous #2
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: CookieCrumbs]
#23851835 - 11/20/16 03:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Sorry if I came off as a bit of a dick there I've just been in a weird spot. You have a good point.
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CookieCrumbs
Fucked off to the pub


Registered: 12/10/11
Posts: 14,146
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #2]
#23851926 - 11/20/16 04:01 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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All good man
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Free time is the only time
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finalexplosion
Stranger
Registered: 11/04/16
Posts: 370
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23864685 - 11/24/16 09:04 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Anonymous said: So this weekend my girlfriend calls me crying and tells me that she cheated on me. She told me it was at the end of September, she was at a show with her friend and she was really drunk. She said she saw her ex boyfriend there and that it was all a blur but they made out for like two minutes. The thing is the summer of last year I had cheated on her to, I made out with one of my friends but the next day the guilt was too overwhelming so I told her. I mean she forgave me and gave me the second chance which I was really grateful for because I really love this girl. Me and her are still in college but we've talked about being with each other for a really long time and living together recently but now this bull shit pops up. I think I'll give her a second chance because its whats fair and I know she does care about me but also she waited 43 days to tell me. She said she waited so long to tell me because it wasn't real if she didn't address it to herself but she was being eaten alive. She says she really loves me and that she has no feelings for this guy whatsoever, and that she wants us to stay together.We are going to see each other for the first time in a while this weekend, and Im not really sure what to say. I guess I just needed somewhere to talk about this Im not really sure what to do. I feel pretty insecure, sad/pissed , and uncertain right now.
Biggest difference is that, you wont get pregnant, and she be on the hook raising someone elses kid. You may. Next her brah
-------------------- The light of wisdom is driving away the darkness. Look at the ground. Now you can see your own shadow. If you are scared by the shadow that follows you, just remember, wherever shadows fall, light is always nearby.
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EllisDSox
King Hella!

Registered: 01/22/07
Posts: 25,730
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: Anonymous #1]
#23870983 - 11/27/16 01:23 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Shoot her in the leg.
-------------------- Disclaimer: If you have any kind of heart condition, my posts are not for you. You could literally die from reading the first couple of words in any one of them. Scroll down the page, live your life and prosper, but don't read my posts because your heart will probably explode. I am not joking.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: girlfriend and I both cheated on each other. [Re: EllisDSox]
#23872694 - 11/27/16 04:37 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
BERSERK DESTROYER said: Shoot her in the leg.
I vote for this option, although I advocate using sperm rather than a bullet.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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