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Invisiblevandago
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: I just had sex! [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23828906 - 11/13/16 12:09 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:

vandago said:
He's like wtf? What kind of person does that?



Yeah that's fucking bizarre man. I'm not even sure I'd take a girl up on that, sounds like something someone who probably hates themselves would say. Why couldn't you finish, drugs or weird vibes from this chick?

EDIT: Oh she's an ex? I missed that part. Forget the bizzare part. Still an interesting offer though, you sure she didn't just wanna fuck you anyway?





Combo of drugs and awkwardness.  Like after 25 minutes of fucking it wasn't really worth the effort in my mind.  She's really attractive.

She wasn't all that pissed she didn't get my friends number. I dunno, I did mostly out of boredom and the fact I have nothing else going on......but it was so empty I was like meh.

We have been friends for like 8 years.  We sorta dated like 2 years ago. By dated I mean we ate a lot of drugs and fucked.  We didn't like go out in public or anything.  She was banging too many dudes to go out with them and fuck her game up.


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OfflineMorel Guy
Stranger
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Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I just had sex! [Re: vandago]
    #23828919 - 11/13/16 12:11 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Sloppy 15ths?


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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Invisiblevandago
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: I just had sex! [Re: vandago] * 4
    #23828924 - 11/13/16 12:12 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I wrote a song about her cumming out of her ass on me when we were fucking.

I made a girl cum out her ass
I called that girl a whore
she said no baby please dont stop
I've never done that before
and as the cum dripped down her thighs
it puddled to the floor
I said "shut up you stupid bitch, that's another guys cum for sure!"

She. Is. Nuts.
Girls can't cum out their butts.
I.May. Be a putz.
But I will tell you whut....

I KNOW IT IS NOT POSSIBLE
TO CUM OUT YOUR FILTHY BUTTHOLE
WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU TRYING TO PULL
YOU FUCKING DOUBLE DIPPED YOU HO!!!!!

So she turned and looked at me,
Said "baby what is wrong?......I never let my fiance in there, his dick is WAY too long......your dick, it's the perfect size! That's why I let YOU in! And baby, you made me cum out my ass! So baby! YOU! WIN!

She. Is. Nuts.
Girls can't cum out their butts.
I.May. Be a putz.
But I will tell you whut....

I KNOW IT IS NOT POSSIBLE
TO CUM OUT YOUR FILTHY BUTTHOLE
WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU TRYING TO PULL
YOU FUCKING DOUBLE DIPPED YOU HO!!!!!

So I tucked my dick away
I hung my head in shame
She could have used an enema
That shit was really lame
Now I'm covered in testosterone
Another males juice
but all of this
explains just why
her.ass.was.so.damn.loose


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Invisibletrees
 User Gallery

Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
Re: I just had sex! [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23828936 - 11/13/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I have a problem with sex where If my partner is not extremely hot, then I lose the allure with them after several times and it becomes difficult for me to keep doing it with them. Even when they are really hot... Makes me feel so shallow. My dicks got its own mind and it always needs a new partner. Theres a name for this phenomenon that is seen in lab animals. It's caused me to avoid sex lately because I feel like I usually end up hurting my partners feels by stopping sex with them. I'm such a loser :sad:


--------------------


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InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: I just had sex! [Re: vandago]
    #23828937 - 11/13/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Have I seen this song before? I think I remember it.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: I just had sex! [Re: vandago]
    #23828941 - 11/13/16 12:16 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

:lolsy:

You're a poet, vadangle.


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Invisiblevandago
 User Gallery


Registered: 07/07/04
Posts: 20,917
Loc: .
Re: I just had sex! [Re: vandago] * 1
    #23828949 - 11/13/16 12:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Ya I have posted it in romp and the music section a few times.

Its the only song I actually perform.  It goes over really well on stage.

Around christmas I sing it acapella, kinda zappa esq vocals.

It's never going to get me laid, but it gets me laughs.


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OfflineMorel Guy
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: I just had sex! [Re: trees]
    #23828950 - 11/13/16 12:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:
I have a problem with sex where If my partner is not extremely hot, then I lose the allure with them after several times and it becomes difficult for me to keep doing it with them. Even when they are really hot... Makes me feel so shallow. My dicks got its own mind and it always needs a new partner. Theres a name for this phenomenon that is seen in lab animals. It's caused me to avoid sex lately because I feel like I usually end up hurting my partners feels by stopping sex with them. I'm such a loser :sad:




That's called maturity.

It's just smart to avoid the girls that aren't hot to start with.  Ugly girls are easy tho so it's tricky!


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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Invisiblelarry.fisherman
shoulda died already
I'm a teapot

Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
Re: I just had sex! [Re: trees]
    #23828955 - 11/13/16 12:19 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

trees said:
I have a problem with sex where If my partner is not extremely hot, then I lose the allure with them after several times and it becomes difficult for me to keep doing it with them. Even when they are really hot... Makes me feel so shallow. My dicks got its own mind and it always needs a new partner. Theres a name for this phenomenon that is seen in lab animals. It's caused me to avoid sex lately because I feel like I usually end up hurting my partners feels by stopping sex with them. I'm such a loser :sad:



You're a loser? LOL Fuck dude, chill. Sounds like you're looking for a connection. Sounds like the type of thing the right girl is gonna melt over, in more way than one. :wink:


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Offlineergoticmandala
 User Gallery


Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
Last seen: 4 years, 28 days
Re: I just had sex! [Re: larry.fisherman]
    #23829220 - 11/13/16 01:24 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

To the two posters that said 'fml' - I just looked it up, does it stand for 'fuck my life'?

If so, why guys?? It's easier that it's ever been throughout human history to go and get laid. Maybe you got a lot of other shit going on which is why you said that, but since this is a thread about having sex, and that's the first time I've seen that said, I'm assuming it's in relation to the fact you're not having enough sex...




oh man i was just kidding, people say fml in a kidding tone for the most part, I am living in a very repressed part of the world where it is sort of hard to have sex but will be returning to california in 6 months. It is what it is, i'm not too worried

and yeah I realize that I could if I tried, I will try and have more sex soon hopefully


--------------------


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Invisibleopenmind
curious
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/03/07
Posts: 13,866
Re: I just had sex! [Re: Connoisseur]
    #23829338 - 11/13/16 02:05 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Connoisseur said:
i havent had sex in about 6 months :sad::thumbdown:







Shit...


...I'm getting close to making it all the way through my 20s with out having sex once :crazy: . (last time for me was when I was around 20, and turning 30 in a few months)

Haven't even been on a date as a 20-something year old either.





-OM



.


--------------------


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OfflinePartoftheSource
NAUT GUILTY
 User Gallery


Registered: 05/27/15
Posts: 3,023
Loc: MIDWEST
Last seen: 5 years, 11 months
Re: I just had sex! [Re: openmind]
    #23829386 - 11/13/16 02:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

openmind said:
Quote:

Connoisseur said:
i havent had sex in about 6 months :sad::thumbdown:







Shit...


...I'm getting close to making it all the way through my 20s with out having sex once :crazy: . (last time for me was when I was around 20, and turning 30 in a few months)

Haven't even been on a date as a 20-something year old either.





-OM



.




Fuuuuck. Thanks for putting my woes-is-mes into perspective, bro.


--------------------
Shroomery Stickers!


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OfflineKonyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
Re: I just had sex! [Re: PartoftheSource]
    #23829779 - 11/13/16 04:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I havent had sex in two years
last time it was with a 18 year old whore/peice of ass but it felt so good but I couldn't bang her anymore
before that it was 6 years
I've basically only had sex once per year
If I holler at a 20 year old at school(27) I don't even know what my life would entail
I don't have any money in the bank or a social life and if she broke up with me in the not to distant future I would feel screwed


Edited by Konyap (11/13/16 04:41 PM)


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InvisibleSheekle
FREE BURKE
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: I just had sex! [Re: falsereality] * 3
    #23830020 - 11/13/16 06:11 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

sorry i called u fat OP i was trying to start a weight war i dont actually care how big someone is


--------------------
"Ur cat died because he hated u" - Koods
"I hope JSB kicks your ass one day." - Vandago
"you are the biggest 'internet guy' I have ever come across"- Jokeshopbeard
"The more I see you post the more I realize you're just this fuckin tie dye loser who trolls the Shroomery 24/7." - Herbologist
"Sheekle you cannot vile the dice of bullshit you have posted on this forum over the years, I like databases" - thelastoneleft
"or maybe i just come from a blood line of superior intelligence" - trees

R.I.P Kelsy, ?/?/?? - 6/11/16


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InvisiblepachooDiscord
Witchakookoo
I'm a teapot User Gallery

Registered: 09/10/10
Posts: 7,135
Re: I just had sex! [Re: Sheekle]
    #23830105 - 11/13/16 06:40 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Gosh Sheekle, you are so rude.


--------------------


:heartpump::heartpump: :heartpump::heartpump:


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Invisiblefalsereality


Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 4,112
Re: I just had sex! [Re: pachoo]
    #23830329 - 11/13/16 07:58 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

He's fat shaming me... FAT SHAMING. FAT SHAMING.


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InvisiblehTx
(:
Male User Gallery


Registered: 03/27/13
Posts: 5,724
Loc: Space-time
Re: I just had sex! [Re: falsereality]
    #23830470 - 11/13/16 08:36 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Had sex twice last night, and three times this morning/throughout day.

Probably will be having more sex in a few hours..


--------------------
zen by age ten times six hundred lifetimes
Light up the darkness.


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Offlinekoods
Ribbit
Male User Gallery


Registered: 05/26/11
Posts: 106,066
Loc: Maryland/DC Burbs
Last seen: 3 hours, 23 minutes
Re: I just had sex! [Re: Sheekle]
    #23830496 - 11/13/16 08:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
sorry i called u fat OP i was trying to start a weight war i dont actually care how big someone is




Its very important for calculating orbits and escape velocities.


--------------------
NotSheekle said
β€œif I believed she was 16 I would become unattracted to her”


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InvisibleBill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
Re: I just had sex! [Re: vandago]
    #23830710 - 11/13/16 10:09 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

vandago said:
I wrote a song about her cumming out of her ass on me when we were fucking.

I made a girl cum out her ass
I called that girl a whore
she said no baby please dont stop
I've never done that before
and as the cum dripped down her thighs
it puddled to the floor
I said "shut up you stupid bitch, that's another guys cum for sure!"

She. Is. Nuts.
Girls can't cum out their butts.
I.May. Be a putz.
But I will tell you whut....

I KNOW IT IS NOT POSSIBLE
TO CUM OUT YOUR FILTHY BUTTHOLE
WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU TRYING TO PULL
YOU FUCKING DOUBLE DIPPED YOU HO!!!!!

So she turned and looked at me,
Said "baby what is wrong?......I never let my fiance in there, his dick is WAY too long......your dick, it's the perfect size! That's why I let YOU in! And baby, you made me cum out my ass! So baby! YOU! WIN!

She. Is. Nuts.
Girls can't cum out their butts.
I.May. Be a putz.
But I will tell you whut....

I KNOW IT IS NOT POSSIBLE
TO CUM OUT YOUR FILTHY BUTTHOLE
WHAT KIND OF SHIT YOU TRYING TO PULL
YOU FUCKING DOUBLE DIPPED YOU HO!!!!!

So I tucked my dick away
I hung my head in shame
She could have used an enema
That shit was really lame
Now I'm covered in testosterone
Another males juice
but all of this
explains just why
her.ass.was.so.damn.loose





:hahthatsrich:


--------------------
Something there is mysteriously formed,
Existing before Heaven and Earth,
Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging,
All-pervading, unfailing,
I do not know its name; I call it tao.
If forced to give it a name, I call it
Great (ta). Being great, it flows out;
Flowing out means far-reaching;
Being far-reaching, it is said to return.


It's just a shot away..


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OfflineLogicaL ChaosM
Ascension Energy & Alien UFOs
Male User Gallery


Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 05/12/07
Posts: 69,363
Loc: The Inexpressible... Flag
Last seen: 1 hour, 46 minutes
Re: I just had sex! [Re: ruaware] * 1
    #23830798 - 11/13/16 10:52 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

ruaware said:
i haven't had sex in 19 years




GTFO!

:holyfuckdude:

I had sex about 3 days ago or so. Ive been waiting for a long time, like months.

But 19 years......daaaaaaaaaaamn.


--------------------
"What you must understand is that your physical dimension affects everyone in the higher dimensions as well. All things are interconnected. All things are One. Therefore, if one dimension is broken or out of balance, then all other dimensions will experience repercussions." - Pleiadian Prophecy 2020 The New Golden Age by James Carwin

PROJECT BLUE BOOK ANALYSIS! (312 pages!) | Psychedelics & UFOs | Ready to Contact UFOs? | The Source on Mushrooms:shroomeryhead:| Trippy Gematrix | Dj TeknoLogical | Fentanyl Test Kits R.I.P. Big Worm :tombstone: || The Start of the Ascension Process was 2020. Welcome to the Next Great Era of Earth 🌎🌍🌏                                                         
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