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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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captain cons narrow escape 13
#23820973 - 11/10/16 08:05 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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last night me and my friend went to go score some heroin in brooklyn. on our way back we got pulled over two blocks from my house.
i had a needle in my ass crack and 3 bags shoved up my rectum. they took me and my friend out of the car and since he had the bags in his sock and his needle in his ass crack they found all his shit and placed him under arrest.
they took me out of the car and asked me if i had a needle also in my crack so i told them yes. i took the needle out and pushed the bags up my rectum at the same time.
they cuffed me and made me sit down while they searched my pockets. they found my needle exchange card in my wallet which legally allows me to posses syringes and told me as a result i was not under arrest.
they gave me the needle back and i walked home with 3 bags up my rectum and the needle in my pocket.
captain con lives to see another day as a free man.
thought yall would be proud of me.
needle exchange members ftw!
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 8
#23820989 - 11/10/16 08:09 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Jesus christ
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: ModestMouse]
#23820996 - 11/10/16 08:11 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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needle exchange saves lives
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 1
#23820999 - 11/10/16 08:12 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Connoisseur said: last night me and my friend went to go score some heroin in brooklyn. on our way back we got pulled over two blocks from my house.
i had a needle in my ass crack and 3 bags shoved up my rectum. they took me and my friend out of the car and since he had the bags in his sock and his needle in his ass crack they found all his shit and placed him under arrest.
they took me out of the car and asked me if i had a needle also in my crack so i told them yes. i took the needle out and pushed the bags up my rectum at the same time.
they cuffed me and made me sit down while they searched my pockets. they found my needle exchange card in my wallet which legally allows me to posses syringes and told me as a result i was not under arrest.
they gave me the needle back and i walked home with 3 bags up my rectum and the needle in my pocket.
captain con lives to see another day as a free man.
thought yall would be proud of me.
needle exchange members ftw!
how exactly is it a narrow escape if you have 3 bags of dope stuffed in the dumper and you're going to shoot them with your butt crack needle, probably from 'water' gleaned from some guy's piss jug
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ONE OZ SLUG
-


Registered: 05/22/13
Posts: 17,839
Loc: TX
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 15
#23821005 - 11/10/16 08:14 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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And no lessons were learned that day
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Prisoner#1
Even Dumber ThanAdvertized!


Registered: 01/22/03
Posts: 193,665
Loc: Pvt. Pubfag NutSuck
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 10
#23821016 - 11/10/16 08:17 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Connoisseur said: needle exchange saves lives
not being a junkie saves lives
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: ONE OZ SLUG]
#23821019 - 11/10/16 08:19 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Thats an awesome story. Im glad you made it out. It would suck to have been caught right after you got off of probation.
But why did you get pulled over? Speeding? Missing tail light?
Dont drive wrecklessly with heroin in your ass lol. And make sure you arent in a car with a wreckless driver either.
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: BANANA.MAN]
#23821021 - 11/10/16 08:19 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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im not off probation yet thats the thing
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 1
#23821076 - 11/10/16 08:36 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Oh shit
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T-Rex




Registered: 04/05/08
Posts: 4,185
Loc: NY
Last seen: 9 days, 18 hours
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: BANANA.MAN] 2
#23821133 - 11/10/16 08:58 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's some crazy shit there Conn.
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sanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson



Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: T-Rex]
#23821156 - 11/10/16 09:08 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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damn dude. did they ask if you were on probation? that might fuck yer shit up...
-------------------- I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you... But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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no they didnt know THANK GOD
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musiclover420
psychonaut



Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 2
#23821222 - 11/10/16 09:31 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Take this close call as a warning, you got lucky but came dangerously close to majorly screwing yourself...
As has been pointed out using H in general seems like an easy way to majorly screw yourself but hey, people get to live how they want to a reasonable extent 
Seriously though I hope this makes you think about things. Much better to play it safe until you are in the clear then further jeopardize your freedom.
I have seen really smart and stupid people succumb to heroin addiction and it alone can ruin your life, let alone fucking up on probation and getting further screwed.
Anyways I am glad you are alright at least and I hope you stay free/ safe
-------------------- Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free
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sanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson



Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 4
#23821225 - 11/10/16 09:32 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Connoisseur said: no they didnt know THANK SATAN
fixed it for ya, bud.
-------------------- I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you... But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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love u bud
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sanchothestoner
Satan's Grandson



Registered: 12/06/11
Posts: 15,623
Loc: Bucketheadland
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur]
#23821232 - 11/10/16 09:33 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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-------------------- I fucking hate you... God damn, I love you... But we both know if we stick together, we'll just tear ourselves apart You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy, when skies are grey You are my heroin, but there's an abscess... God damn, I miss the vein!
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Prisoner#1]
#23821255 - 11/10/16 09:41 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
how exactly is it a narrow escape if you have 3 bags of dope stuffed in the dumper and you're going to shoot them with your butt crack needle, probably from 'water' gleaned from some guy's piss jug
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DustBunny


Registered: 08/20/14
Posts: 10,404
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Repertoire89] 3
#23821283 - 11/10/16 09:49 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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For whatever reasons, the choice of saying "gleaned" really tied that whole post together for me.
--------------------
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Connoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
Posts: 34,686
Last seen: 5 years, 2 months
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Prisoner#1] 1
#23821291 - 11/10/16 09:51 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Prisoner#1 said:
Quote:
Connoisseur said: last night me and my friend went to go score some heroin in brooklyn. on our way back we got pulled over two blocks from my house.
i had a needle in my ass crack and 3 bags shoved up my rectum. they took me and my friend out of the car and since he had the bags in his sock and his needle in his ass crack they found all his shit and placed him under arrest.
they took me out of the car and asked me if i had a needle also in my crack so i told them yes. i took the needle out and pushed the bags up my rectum at the same time.
they cuffed me and made me sit down while they searched my pockets. they found my needle exchange card in my wallet which legally allows me to posses syringes and told me as a result i was not under arrest.
they gave me the needle back and i walked home with 3 bags up my rectum and the needle in my pocket.
captain con lives to see another day as a free man.
thought yall would be proud of me.
needle exchange members ftw!
how exactly is it a narrow escape if you have 3 bags of dope stuffed in the dumper and you're going to shoot them with your butt crack needle, probably from 'water' gleaned from some guy's piss jug
the second i got inside i pulled out the bags and shot them like a good lil junkie
can u blame me? it was one of the best shots i ever did in my whole life.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Re: captain cons narrow escape [Re: Connoisseur] 9
#23821300 - 11/10/16 09:55 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Connoisseur said: captain con lives to see another day as a free man.
You're not free if you're a junky. Far from it actually.
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