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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: LackToast]
    #23820707 - 11/10/16 06:47 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks LT. I'm only 32, but since I was 18 people have always assumed I'm older than I am. Kinda funny cause my brother is the opposite - always younger than his years.

Completely agree with your theory. Rave chicks taking rave drugs are one thing, but diving deep into yourself and the cosmic realms takes a certain resolution and strength of mind. Phen's are cool for most, easy going, but tryps are definitely not for the feint hearted IMO.

I have faith that life will bring me one of those 1%'ers one day. My wife never liked to trip apart from on K, and it's not a situation I'm gonna get into with a partner again. Tripping is waaaaayy too an important aspect of my life.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleLackToast
Stranger
Registered: 08/28/10
Posts: 217
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23820893 - 11/10/16 07:36 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Idk why I thought you were 40. I remember the fallout you had with your wife a bit back and I guess I just assumed you guys were in your 40s.

Anyways yea man gl to you and op. I wish I saw the point in waiting around for someone special to come along but I just don't think that's how mother nature intended it. We can't help our feelings but at the same time we have to "grow up."

But ya know, I just took one of those personality tests a few days ago and found out I'm an intp. At first it didn't mean anything special to me but then it accurately described that I view relationships as something to not bother with, but thats due to the underdevelopment of my emotions. So on one hand I always seem to pity those who were love stricken like puppy dogs (lol no offense to anyone reading this) and couldn't see how people could put themselves under this trance. But now I think I'm the weird one, who just never grew up and learned how to deal my emotions and now loathe myself to the point of rejecting others before they see me as the crippling insecure paranoid high on drugs nut job that I am.

Such a life we live.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: LackToast]
    #23821004 - 11/10/16 08:14 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Yeah it's fucking confusing alright, and oddly mysterious on top. My wife coming and going awoke me to belief in a higher power and unconditional love. She changed the direction of my life entirely; I now feel a deeply religious man where I was an atheist before. But she was obviously not meant to go the distance with me.

I've always been in relationships, since like 12. First long term at 18 that lasted 4 years. I'm very masculine by nature and I really, really like the way femininity balances me out. Plus all the talking, physical contact and sex is just awesome. So as soon as a relationship would end, I'd start looking for another. The only really important one (my wife) came when I wasn't looking (was with someone else, as was she).

I fucked around a lot after she left and realised I can't do meaningless sex, which is fucking frustrating. I also know I can't go looking for a relationship this time - now the work is all inner. That's really frustrating. It's been 10 months since I had sex - I haven't gone that long since my teens! Plus I long for female company yet I know that it'll only come when I'm not looking. So my work in therapy of late has been centered around trying to stay off the 'high alert' mode I seem to be in - not looking, but ceaselessly wondering when I meet an interesting woman 'could she be the one?'

Such a life indeed. Soon as you conquer one challenge a harder one seems to spring up. Sometimes I wish I were still ignorant to the spiritual path in this life but there's no turning back now, and I'll only kick myself on my deathbed if I chickened out and didn't do what I feel called to do, regardless of how hard it is.

Sounds like you've got similar challenges ahead. Good luck to us both huh?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23821018 - 11/10/16 08:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Oh, and here's that thread analysing mens greater tendency to trip I mentioned earlier:

Do men have a greater tendency to take psychedelics?


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisiblelittlespider
spider
Female User Gallery

Registered: 05/21/14
Posts: 496
Loc: UK
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 1
    #23821982 - 11/11/16 05:32 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Looking good jokesshop :smile:
Not ginger but then you can't have it all :p
I'd imagine introverts to more inclined to take inner journeys. Tripping can be a better solo experience sometimes. Women can be more social and enjoy the flow of connection to others, men enjoying the flow of connection to nature and the cosmos. I have read neo tantra theories on masculine people (more men) enjoying coming up against the face of mortality and oblivion. The desire to know themselves when "up agaisnt it". The adventurers, off on a quest, over the mountains and across the cosmic sea.

I think little boys are conditioned by culture to value the heros journey.

Maybe in some sub cultures little girls learn to value it too. The circle I grew up in our hippy parents left boys and girls to play together. Climbing trees, jumping off roofs, exploring the quarry...and the music we had as our childhood soundtrack encouraged us to question the given reality and explore our outer and inner world....

I'll see you on the dark side of the moon..


--------------------
remember what the dormouse said


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: littlespider]
    #23822003 - 11/11/16 05:52 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Great post LS. This bit describes me perfectly:

Quote:

littlespider said:
I have read neo tantra theories on masculine people (more men) enjoying coming up against the face of mortality and oblivion. The desire to know themselves when "up agaisnt it".



I'm a massive adventurer, but even having as many friends as I have I don't know anyone personally who is as inclined towards it as me, apart from a really great friend in the states I met through the Shroomery, but have never met IRL, so not so sure on the conditioning thing.

I'm a massive extravert too, and the few I know that do tend go go looking for deep trips tend to be also. I do think you hit on something about facing oblivion, mortality and the unknown though. Accepting my upcoming death is something I spent 8 years working on before I was able to fully accept it and it is a thought that is never far from my mind.

I was reading through that old thread I started a while back and noted that someone said they had seen more women than men in Aya ceremonies centered around healing. I've seen the same on meditation retreats.

Perhaps it's not so much conditioning, but that masculine energy is more forceful, pushing boundaries and exploring, whilst feminine energy tends more towards nurture, wellbeing, and healing?

I believe that regardless of the gender we're born into, our inner sexual energy is on a spectrum. I.e. I have only ever had long term relationships with women who are outwardly feminine, but inwardly quite masculine, and I find it hard to get on with men who are more inwardly feminine. I'd be really interested to know if there was a correlation between women who pursue tripping themselves, and whether they tend to be more inwardly masculine. I can't see your typical girly girl ever giving tripping a second thought...

Fucking fascinating subject to think about.


Quote:

littlespider said:
Maybe in some sub cultures little girls learn to value it too.



If you're much of a reader of books, you should read Island by Aldous Huxley. One of the best books I've ever read. It describes the utopia that is possible for humans, and that line of yours is very relevant to the central theme of the book.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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Invisiblelittlespider
spider
Female User Gallery

Registered: 05/21/14
Posts: 496
Loc: UK
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23822181 - 11/11/16 07:31 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

David Deida on neo tantra principles of men and oblivion
"The same capacity to face death is necessary for spiritual freedom. To live free in spirit, you
must be willing to face your fears and let go of anything that limits your love. The attachment to comfort
and security is what limits most men in their capacity to make a spiritual touchdown. The other team is
your own need for private security. You are fighting a war with your own self-sense. To be free is to die
to your need to be a separate self."

And women
"She longs to
fill her sense of spiritual emptiness by surrendering her heart and being filled with love. Her basic means
toward spiritual unity is surrender into the devotional fullness of unbounded love, rather then breaking
through the fear of ego-death into the unconstrained infinity of absolute freedom."

I am an adventurer, a traveller i'm willing to jump in with both feet and ride out the bumps. I need to know what's at the bottom of the abyss. I can be directional and single focussed. And i can also be this with a femine partner.

But i'd say I am most at home in surrender to love not emptiness. Life has taught me how to reap the benefits of living in my masculine aspects but love is my greatest bliss.

I've not taken a high mushroom dose for a long time, since as an inexperinced teen I spent several hour's resisting the pull of a dark vortex to who knows where but my trips have generally been an experience of connection. I know now I would relax into the pull downward. I don't have anyone to try another high dose with just now so oblivion will wait a little longer.

I hold these new age ideas with caution. In traditional tantra,  roles and conditioning are dropped, social roles, family roles and including gender roles. Freedom is in dropping all your human conditioning and recognising your real nature as absolute conciousness which is every aspect of everyone and everything without differentiation.


Thank you. I've put that book in my basket :smile:

Funnily enough one of my female friends sent me details of an ayahuasca retreat with group therapy sessions last night. I love the principle though the idea of a group is a bit much. A few people would seem ideal to me.


--------------------
remember what the dormouse said


Edited by littlespider (11/11/16 07:36 AM)


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OfflineBruces222
Serial killer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/06/16
Posts: 29
Loc: Phoenix , AZ.
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: LackToast]
    #23824563 - 11/11/16 11:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

If Toast is right about the 1% that would be encouraging to me. I hung around with so many cool chicks when I was younger , they all loved shrooms and were so much fun to be around . I have no idea what happened to them , I left the state and have only met a few over the years since. 
Hmmmm maybe placing an add where it doesn't matter what people think , where you can say anything you want to , post any disgusting pic you want , and it's pretty easy to pick out the bots.
Maybe Craigslist would be the perfect place !  :smile:


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OfflineBruces222
Serial killer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/06/16
Posts: 29
Loc: Phoenix , AZ.
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: LackToast]
    #23824590 - 11/12/16 12:08 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Sit under the stars and contemplate life ....? Is that all you do ? That's ok now and then but we go do shit , out in public. Movies , concerts , the fair , fishing , biking , camping , some dancing , all kind of things that are better when women are involved.


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Invisiblelittlespider
spider
Female User Gallery

Registered: 05/21/14
Posts: 496
Loc: UK
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: Bruces222]
    #23824826 - 11/12/16 02:55 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I have found okcupid to be a meeting place online for hippies, bdsm people, poly people..etc
If you want to meet a chick for casual fucking, dancing, tripping and watching sci fi that site might be a good place to start.


--------------------
remember what the dormouse said


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OfflineBruces222
Serial killer
Male User Gallery

Registered: 11/06/16
Posts: 29
Loc: Phoenix , AZ.
Last seen: 5 years, 9 months
Re: Trolling and desperate adds [Re: littlespider]
    #23826052 - 11/12/16 02:22 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Thanks , with women it's all about fun because they are not willing to push the envelope. Like LS and JSB are talking about.  I do have someone who is willing and able to go a little farther every time it's just the two of us. For me it's getting really deep , lost my mind last time and it was fantastic. Thought I could walk on water !  Felt it was the first time that I actually tripped , don't think I could describe what it was like but I loved it . I have always felt somewhat under control when on psychedelics. I'm not going to walk off a cliff or do anything that would cause me harm , but not this time , I totally lost myself , lost my mind for hours.  When it was his turn it got ugly , I don't know who it was that he turned into but it wasn't my best friend for the last 15 years. Did not know this guy at all but I didn't like him.  Nicest guy I ever met turned into such a mean and nasty person it was shocking . He doesn't remember any of it.  We did figure out that we need a babysitter when we go that far so we stay safe.


--------------------
In the end only 3 things matter. How much you loved , how gently you lived and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.


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