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NaturalOnly
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Registered: 06/05/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME??? A nightmare trip!
#23807604 - 11/06/16 06:00 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I am a very small person, 5'2 and weigh around 40 kg. This was my first shroom trip since May and it was my third trip.
1:30 am I ate what I thought was a small dose of shrooms (about .75 - 1 gram, strain was PE). I chewed it to a paste and down it with some orange juice. I was only expecting cev and I was just gonna chill in my dorm room and listen to some music.
2:00 am I was staring at a poster in my room and it was melting and moving. I laid down on my bed and put in headphone and tried to listen to music and closed my eyes. The cev was a bit overwhelming so i opened my eyes and stared up the ceiling and took my headphones out because they felt uncomfortable. Then the weird body load came and I felt uncomfortable and was shaking uncontrollably. My bed started to feel foreign and so I got off my bed ad sat on my futon and i was still shaking.
2:15 - 4:50 am Trip went to hell, it's hard to recall most of the details but I just couldn't relax. I couldn't recognize and didn't feel like I was in my room anymore, I couldn't think straight, i keep hearing my friends voice and they were talking in my head and though I was alone in my room it felt like they were in the room with me and they were talking. Every time I lay down, my mind would get lost and go into a different plane of consciousness that's impossible to describe. Laying down and waiting for the experience to pass was out of the question at this point. I tried putting on some music, artist varied from pink floyd, mac demarco, to edm music in order to get a grip of something familiar to keep my mind grounded but I felt nauseous and too tired to focus on the music. I was tired, nauseous, and tripping and I just didn't know what to do. I got on my computer to watch some alan walker music videos to make my mind focus on something but after a few minutes the feeling of dread, fear, and despair came back to me so I put the computer away.
Then my room looked like it turned into a scary red and made me felt like I was in a room in hell. This scary satanic voice came into my head and in a vicious, merciless tone said to me "SO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME????" This intensified the feeling of torment and despair to the point where I wanted to call the ambulance and go to the hospital because I couldn't take it anymore. I went to look at myself in the mirror to coach myself and say you can get through this but as I look at my face, I couldn't connect with the reflection of me in the mirror. It made it worse because I looked and felt like a soul trapped and being tortured in hell without mercy. I was on the brink of insanity.
5:00 am The trip decreased in intensity, i went back to bed but couldn't sleep. I was stucked in a daze and i felt drained. Drained from the ability to be connected to reality, drained from being able to feel pleasure. I was stripped of everything good and left with a feeling of misery and hopelessness. I was convinced that the stuff i read about, how people go into psychosis after a traumatic psychedelic experience and now it was happening to me. I couldn't believe it, it happened to me. I thought about school, work, family and that I fucked myself up so bad that I wasn't going to be able to be normal again. I thought that I was gonna be stuck in a state of psychosis and have to tell my supervisor that I can't work anymore, can't do school, and that i'd have to call my family to pick me up from school to be home to recover. I was going to lose everything that I had going for me in life. I was so overwhelmed by this that I just wanted to break down and cry but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to cry.
I don't know what happened after that, I must have passed out. I woke up 6 hrs later in the middle of the day feeling odd like I was emotionally numb, and my head felt like crap. I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, and cleaned my face with a cool wet towel which felt great. Then I made myself coffee and chilled in my room and had music playing on my speaker to help myself move on from the nightmare I experienced. Shortly after, i went to walk around campus to enjoy the warmth from the sun and be at peace. I didn't want to reflect on what I had went through and just wanted to focus on positive things because I was determined to get myself back to normal.
It's crazy that this all happened on such a small dose, i guess being a small person with no tolerance... a gram of potent PE might as well be 2.5 grams of standard shrooms.
At the moment I don't feel 100% normal, I'm close like @ 85% but my mind is still in the psychedelic head space. I'm terrified of shrooms now and don't think I could ever attempt a high dose.
The reason why i made this post is just to see what people had to say about my trip and whether anyone has had similar trip. There's a lot of detail that's not included in this post because I have a hard time putting experiences into words.
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yagecero
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Registered: 11/07/16
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Re: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME??? A nightmare trip! [Re: NaturalOnly] 3
#23810834 - 11/07/16 07:35 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So you didn't expect the effect to become that strong.
"I was only expecting cev and I was just gonna chill in my dorm room and listen to some music."
You were not prepared for the things to happen, and you felt like something else now decided for you what was going to happen. Psychedelic experiences can only turn into bad trips if you try to fight and resist the feelings and thoughts, if you try to make sense of everything that happens. Imagine being a kid that has to walk through a museum with its parents for hours, being extremely bored, not interested at all in the things to see and to discover there, having to look at paintings and sculptures that don't make any sense at all, crying pigheaded because it was taken there against its own will and feeling completely helpless. It's not the museum that's terrible, it's the kid that does not know what to do with all this, being torn to this place by beings way stronger and bigger than itself.
Psychedelics may seem like a game, oftentimes they feel like one. But they aren't. You received a message in your trip, probably telling you that you should take this realm more seriously than before. You seem to be very sensitive, which yes may be due to your small body, but maybe you also have a special gift of going deep easily.
If it's not too hard for you to do, I'd recommend contiuing your trip in a new set and setting. Take the same dosage or even a bit more in a completely dark room (not a single light source), again just by yourself, with the intention to be the child that will now look at 'all the stuff in the museum', to completely surrender to where the controlling entity is taking your soul. Have some chill music ready with the click of a button in case silence becomes too intense. Receive the message that the plant contains for you.
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sunshine
Sin18DwireWuTang


Registered: 04/03/04
Posts: 43,592
Loc: higher plane of sex
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Re: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME??? A nightmare trip! [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23811023 - 11/07/16 08:40 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The first time I shroomed I took a half eighth and was inrigued, but it didn't really hit me. My second trip was a whole eighth and I got hit like a ton of bricks. I read about these types of experiences all the time. I guess I was lucky as hell and my mom used to smoke pot with me and let me drink. The first time got drunk I was 9 years old. I wasn't allowed to get high on a schoolnight. HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHA.
-------------------- One Love True Indeed. Have Good Trips. Mike/sunshine's mom.
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zersha
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Registered: 04/21/16
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Loc: Wonderland
Last seen: 2 years, 10 months
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Re: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME??? A nightmare trip! [Re: sunshine]
#23831337 - 11/14/16 06:53 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Just as yagecero said you weren't prepared
You must RESPECT the mushrooms
Also if you have any bad history of mental illness you must tread carefully/ not tread at all with psychedelics.
You must understand and love your own mind before you dive into it. Or just be ready to be shown things you may not want to experience.
Take what you have learned and turn it into something beautiful my friend.
Sometimes the best way to learn is to confront your fears head on.
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wicca mixer
Marmalade, I like marmalade :)



Registered: 07/30/10
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Re: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME??? A nightmare trip! [Re: zersha]
#23831385 - 11/14/16 07:21 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I long for the trips where it feels like it is too much and takes me way out of my depth. Those are the types of trips that I remember and appreciate most. For me it's a wonderful gift to kind of experience death, and then the surviving the death as it (in my opinion) shows me the pure spirit part of myself without all of the human mind bullshit.
I'm very grateful to the mushrooms when they have left me extremely humbled. Often I have to kind of summon up the courage to take the mushrooms as I know to a degree what they are capable of, but at the same time I don't fear them as I have a certain trust in them and in myself.
You really have got to go with the flow and not against it when tripping and trust that everything will be ok no matter what you experience, and that you will get back to normal. Usually when I take mushrooms or mushroom and maoi (syrian rue or turmeric and black pepper) four hours after I take them I snap straight back to normality (although realistically I am probably still very mildy tripping).The snapping back to reality is usually far more pronounced with large doses than with small doses.
To me mushrooms aren't a recreational drug but more of a spiritual experience. I would have no problem taking them at a party or something, but with all the distractions I would miss out on what the mushrooms can show me. Always go with the flow with psychedelics.
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Tiamo
Trust in LITFA




Registered: 04/07/16
Posts: 1,935
Loc: Amsterdam
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Re: DO YOU THINK THIS IS A GAME??? A nightmare trip! [Re: NaturalOnly]
#23856359 - 11/22/16 06:35 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
NaturalOnly said:
I don't know what happened after that, I must have passed out. I woke up 6 hrs later in the middle of the day feeling odd like I was emotionally numb, and my head felt like crap.
dissociative amnesia
Edited by Tiamo (11/22/16 06:35 AM)
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