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OfflineTrippedytrip
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Registered: 09/07/15
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Why me ?
    #23802927 - 11/05/16 10:23 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I thought shrooms were safe

I thought shrooms where friendly

I thought shrooms were life changing

Shrooms were life changing for me .

It was my 1st trip , 1 year ago , 2.5 grams Hawaian Cubensis.

I dont really know how it happened , i got stuck in that moment of the trip , that high.

Since then i have never been grounded , cant live normally.

That trip has fucked up my life , i am 19 and dont even have a life in front of me .

I have tripped 4 times since that , dont get any effects , dpnt get high from weed because i already am high. I have nothing in front of me , everything is to blame on the shrooms and my
mentality that day.

I dont know why it has happened to me , why that trip has taken my life away , why me ?

I want to make everyone clear that Psychs arent a game and this can happen , it isnt a myth.

I dont even know what to say anymore , i have nothing to live more , i dont kill myself because of the loved ones but my heart wont take so much more .

I was a intelligent guy , with a giant heart , good expectations , a decent life before my eyes and everything i needed and it hurts so much not being able to live anymore

Peace


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OfflineVartousky
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Registered: 04/23/11
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Re: Why me ? [Re: Trippedytrip]
    #23802947 - 11/05/16 10:32 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Give it another year, I bet you'll feel better if you give yourself time. You're not the only one who has gone through this. :mushroom2:


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Offlinerider420
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Registered: 02/11/16
Posts: 659
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Re: Why me ? [Re: Trippedytrip]
    #23802950 - 11/05/16 10:33 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

Trippedytrip said:
I thought shrooms were safe

I thought shrooms where friendly

I thought shrooms were life changing

Shrooms were life changing for me .

It was my 1st trip , 1 year ago , 2.5 grams Hawaian Cubensis.

I dont really know how it happened , i got stuck in that moment of the trip , that high.

Since then i have never been grounded , cant live normally.

That trip has fucked up my life , i am 19 and dont even have a life in front of me .

I have tripped 4 times since that , dont get any effects , dpnt get high from weed because i already am high. I have nothing in front of me , everything is to blame on the shrooms and my
mentality that day.

I dont know why it has happened to me , why that trip has taken my life away , why me ?

I want to make everyone clear that Psychs arent a game and this can happen , it isnt a myth.

I dont even know what to say anymore , i have nothing to live more , i dont kill myself because of the loved ones but my heart wont take so much more .

I was a intelligent guy , with a giant heart , good expectations , a decent life before my eyes and everything i needed and it hurts so much not being able to live anymore

Peace




Wow some people should never do any drugs!

FYI cannabis and shrooms do not cause metal illness you had it long before you ever used any drug.

Why you? Good question but odds are its just a fluke of nature like people who are allergic to peanuts.

BTW you claim you still high but your not! It's a mental illness dude not the everlasting effects from a shroom or acid trip. Sorry to hear you have a metal illness but if you don't accept the facts you will never seek the help that you so badly need. There are tools and anti psychotics that do work, give mental health services a call if you really want help.


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OfflineTrippedytrip
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Re: Why me ? [Re: rider420]
    #23803030 - 11/05/16 11:06 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I can assure you it is not a mental ilness , whatsoever .

I already have visited many docs and tried antipsychotics and they wont work.

The thing is i got stucked on a thought dont knwlw even how that is possible and since then the flow of life hasnt continued.

Peace


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OfflineSleepyE
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Registered: 07/21/08
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Re: Why me ? [Re: Trippedytrip]
    #23803245 - 11/05/16 12:26 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

everyone's had experiences that send them off balance and take awhile to integrate.

took me 2 years with my experience.
just try to relax and put your focus towards hobbies and learning new skills. it will help your mind busy instead of dwelling


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE]
    #23803578 - 11/05/16 02:40 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Gah antipsychotics, just do them if you're homocidal. If you're not homocidal, just, idk, find a way to cope or ride it out, or try to take care of your brain somehow.

I mean ffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucccccccccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk that.

Worst feeling...


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Why me ? [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23803764 - 11/05/16 03:50 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Whats anti psychotics like, i never had to use them


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
Re: Why me ? [Re: Trippedytrip]
    #23803920 - 11/05/16 04:48 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

It hasn't taken 'you' away because the trip is that you're always you and your brain is electrically active in a 24 hour cycle which means your 'personality' is ever evolving and changing as you go through day to day life.

What do you experience after you've taken mushrooms that is different to what you experienced before?
Were any of your beliefs changed?


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE] * 2
    #23804654 - 11/05/16 08:20 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
Whats anti psychotics like, i never had to use them



It's kind of like, you're always on the brink of experiencing an emotion, in anticipation of one, constantly, but it never comes.

Apathy, loss of motivation, and general destruction of your emotional life ensues.


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
Re: Why me ? [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23804688 - 11/05/16 08:35 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

If you take science into account then apathy is manageable as strange things in reality don't surprise you as much.

You can continue to support emotional growth by forming foundational beliefs and values about the purpose of life and what it means to you.

I try to appreciate that I have a life in such a hostile Universe and I try to be aware enough not to take that for granted.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Why me ? [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23804980 - 11/05/16 10:12 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

beforethedawn said:
Quote:

SleepyE said:
Whats anti psychotics like, i never had to use them



It's kind of like, you're always on the brink of experiencing an emotion, in anticipation of one, constantly, but it never comes.

Apathy, loss of motivation, and general destruction of your emotional life ensues.



yeah my psychosis episode was good because it ended up doing the opposite.
when it was all said and done i gain new profound interest in things i have not before and massive amounts of drive and motivation.

Who i am today i can 100% say is more superior than who i was before the incident.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Registered: 09/20/08
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Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE]
    #23805003 - 11/05/16 10:22 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:

Who i am today i can 100% say is more superior than who i was before the incident.




So in your case, psychosis was a wonderful healthy helpful experience?


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Why me ? [Re: rider420]
    #23805021 - 11/05/16 10:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

rider420 said:

FYI cannabis and shrooms do not cause metal illness you had it long before you ever used any drug.




There's a lot of evidence about the relationship between cannabis use and what people call "mental illness".

Much research has gone into this investigation.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Why me ? [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23805029 - 11/05/16 10:30 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

i assume it would be different for others.

i am an optimistic person and tends to try to find the good in everything that happens to me.

Im not going to lie and say that my psychosis wasn't messy, dangerous, and traumatizing.

I embarrassed myself in front of people i care about and it haunts me and these memories seem to try to eat me alive with guilt and a feeling like i need to redeem myself and scrub off all the imperfections and this i think has been what has triggered my increase in motivation and work ethic.

I have a lot of traumatic memories that cause me pain but i found out that when i work on a skill or craft of mine then the pain stops, so this has been my motivator i think, or part of it at least.

i dont claim that what is going on with me is 100% ideal but I feel WONDERFUL about what i have achieved and what i am still achieving so these achievements seem to help over power those bad memories.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


Edited by SleepyE (11/06/16 07:21 AM)


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE]
    #23805055 - 11/05/16 10:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

The danger is, how will you feel if you stop feeling great about what you achieve?

Life is "messy, dangerous, and traumatizing", for everyone.

When you say, "I embarrassed myself in front of people i care about" . . .

What you mean is you experienced self-hatred. Right? It's about YOU.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Why me ? [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #23805071 - 11/05/16 10:51 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

i have a voice in my head that kind of goes on repeat 24/7 nagging me. I personally love myself but its like i have an autonomous entity in my mind that just constantly brings up things that ive done to bring my self-esteem down and make me feel helpless/worthless.  Its not a voice literally though just the thoughts of what i have done and the mistakes ive made when i was pretty much solipsistic.
These nagging memories go away when i work on crafts of mine so i have come to accept and go with the fact that these traumas are essentially behaving like my drill Sargent.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


Edited by SleepyE (11/05/16 10:52 PM)


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE] * 2
    #23805092 - 11/05/16 11:00 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Many people call the negative voice that reminds us of our shortcomings, "The Inner Critic"


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Why me ? [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
    #23805096 - 11/05/16 11:04 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Mine is absolutely ruthless.

Has me slaving like a fucking DOG.


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
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Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE] * 2
    #23805122 - 11/05/16 11:23 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

You are not alone!    It's common to human experience.


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OfflineSleepyE
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Re: Why me ? [Re: RJ Tubs 202] * 1
    #23805428 - 11/06/16 06:01 AM (7 years, 2 months ago)

i assumed as much :smile:


--------------------
My Drawingzz
Draw DMT!

Trip Report: SHROOMS DMT---- My Youtube Psychedelic Channel


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Offlinemantishugo
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Re: Why me ? [Re: SleepyE]
    #23814422 - 11/08/16 10:24 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

I never do any drug, smoke, or chew tobacco. But still I feel bad about my health. I think it is more mental than physical. Can somebody help me with this dilemma?


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
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Registered: 11/30/11
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Re: Why me ? [Re: mantishugo]
    #23814564 - 11/08/16 11:08 PM (7 years, 2 months ago)

Quote:

SleepyE said:
i assumed as much :smile:



It is possible to turn it into a friend though. I very recently did, after living with my inner taskmaster for as long as I can remember, I now (mostly) have an inner comedian and companion. Can't say what the formula was, but if I can do it, and I know others that have, then you can too.


Quote:

mantishugo said:
I never do any drug, smoke, or chew tobacco. But still I feel bad about my health. I think it is more mental than physical. Can somebody help me with this dilemma?



You should start a new thread on this man.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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