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Stromrider
This must be the place



Registered: 06/02/13
Posts: 7,325
Loc: Dept of know what I'm say...
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Suffering elderly
#23799649 - 11/04/16 02:19 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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This is my grandma. She is 88 years old and has been gone mentally for about 3 years now. She has an extreme case of dementia and she can no longer even form words. She hasn't recognized anyone in over a year. She has to be cared for around the clock and has no quality of life whatsoever
A couple months ago she started getting small sores so we had her checked out. The doc said it was some kind of autoimmune disease and started her on some meds. Despite their efforts it's just gotten worse and worse. We have her at the hospital again tonight and they're acting like there's nothing that can be done. I asked them if we could basically just euthanize her and I've never seen people get so offended! Am I wrong? I know if it was me I'd want to be put out of my misery. I'm not even sure if she's aware enough to experience anything really? I'm so torn up. I have a notion to inject her with something myself. It feels like the right thing to do to me. I love this woman so much. We were always so very close. I just can't watch this anymore. My family members arent going to take any action. Help...
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Edmunter
Mr



Registered: 05/01/13
Posts: 5,699
Last seen: 17 days, 6 hours
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Holy fuk man dont they have a nursing home she can be care for in. Have you tried Chinese medicine. I bet it would be hard getting it down her. Also acupuncture and herbal medicine.
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dankington
The Stranger




Registered: 03/14/15
Posts: 4,577
Loc: 8te
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Only you can ultimately know what must be done. It does sound like a very difficult time for yourself and everyone. As for your grandmother, I can't even imagine what she must feel.
Caring for an elder loved one that you know is suffering is one of the hardest things anyone can do. That's the support everyone needs to feel. You must really look deep within yourself to see what you would like done for yourself if ever in her state. I hesitate to say you should take any such action, but try and do anything you can to ensure she's at least comfortable and without pain. I wish you and yours the best.
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Boogieman47
Let's boogie


Registered: 03/05/16
Posts: 9,712
Loc: Under your bed
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: Edmunter]
#23799676 - 11/04/16 02:43 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Ya thats sad man and honestly im on the same page as you ... why keep a person around in that kind of shape my grandpa got pretty bad, i guess im lucky i was in prison so i didnt have to witness it but my old man is an old biker and been road hard and put up wet too many times its hard to see him as he is..
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 15 days
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That is so unethical to me. It is fucking reprehensible we make people like this. It is fucking abuse.
The right to die should be a basic human right just as the right to live. Euthanasia is a merciful way to end suffering. this reaffirms my commitment to take my own life when my quality of life reaches a certain point.
I am so sorry OP. I can imagine the frustration and helplessness and sadness you must feel. Such a shame. Is she on hospice and on oral morphine? Most people in this condition finally pass from pneumonia, sometimes even a simple uti. I think sometimes you can OD them on morphine.
Edited by sprinkles (11/04/16 02:54 AM)
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Stromrider
This must be the place



Registered: 06/02/13
Posts: 7,325
Loc: Dept of know what I'm say...
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: Edmunter]
#23799684 - 11/04/16 02:50 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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She's in an assisted living facility. Has been for about 2 years with round the clock care. It's costing us dearly and funds are running thin now. This is a disaster
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Stromrider
This must be the place



Registered: 06/02/13
Posts: 7,325
Loc: Dept of know what I'm say...
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: sprinkles]
#23799690 - 11/04/16 02:57 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: That is so unethical to me. It is fucking reprehensible we make people like this. It is fucking abuse.
The right to die should be a basic human right just as the right to live. Euthanasia is a merciful way to end suffering. this reaffirms my commitment to take my own life when my quality of life reaches a certain point.
I am so sorry OP. I can imagine the frustration and helplessness and sadness you must feel. Such a shame. Is she on hospice and on oral morphine? Most people in this condition finally pass from pneumonia, sometimes even a simple uti. I think sometimes you can OD them on morphine.
She is on morphine but who knows if it's enough since she can't communicate. This really is atrocious. The whole situation. I agree with you. I start slipping I got the 45 ready
Thanks for the kind words
Edited by Stromrider (11/04/16 02:57 AM)
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 15 days
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it's pretty fucked up that in order to help someone out of this condition you face the possibility of spending the rest of your life in prison.
Is there a possibility she keeps hanging on for some reason? Does she know its ok to go? You should tell her that you and your family will all be alright.
Pray. I'll pray for her too.
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Edmunter
Mr



Registered: 05/01/13
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: sprinkles]
#23799698 - 11/04/16 03:14 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If shes on a decent amount of morphine and knows no better believe me brother and I know through taking a few doses shes on a rollacoster ride and feels no pain. Shame you can help her with some mushies too. If you could get in her head for awhile you would know if it was possible. My thoughts are with you man.
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Buster_Brown
L'une


Registered: 09/17/11
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: sprinkles]
#23799752 - 11/04/16 04:51 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sprinkles said: The right to die should be a basic human right just as the right to live.
Re-incarnation provides the opportunity to regenerate at any stage of the game. Ultimately consciousness could migrate to a specific age, say, you wanted to be a teen for the rest of your existence, then someone else would inhabit the body until you took it over, and then someone else would inhabit the body until it was discarded probably around age 30.
This is a basic overview of the reincarnate possibility.
Believe it.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,526
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: Edmunter]
#23799755 - 11/04/16 04:56 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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ouch!
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Bernard
Cultvr - Not Necessarily Trusted



Registered: 05/08/16
Posts: 226
Last seen: 2 years, 7 months
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Care for her in the best way possible. She'll know that you love her and you'll know that she knows. When she does pass...and she will...it will be the saddest day in your life, and it'll be the greatest day in your life.
The most influential person in my life was not a professor with a PhD or a high ranking religious official or a coach or even my parents. It was my downs syndrome brother who died at age six after fighting leukemia for 2 years. Chew on that.
Your grandma might turn out to be the person that most shapes your persona in the future. But not for the reasons that you think.
As a side note, I do believe that people should have the right to end their own life. However, THAT INTENT NEEDS TO 100% EXPRESSED WITH NO DOUBT BY THAT PERSON. Then the intent needs to be verified by another party (and maybe even another party after that). Mercy killing is a VERY slippery slope that I believe we should avoid at all costs.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
Posts: 8,292
Loc: Manchester, UK
Last seen: 4 years, 7 months
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Quote:
Stromrider said:

This is my grandma. She is 88 years old and has been gone mentally for about 3 years now. She has an extreme case of dementia and she can no longer even form words. She hasn't recognized anyone in over a year. She has to be cared for around the clock and has no quality of life whatsoever
A couple months ago she started getting small sores so we had her checked out. The doc said it was some kind of autoimmune disease and started her on some meds. Despite their efforts it's just gotten worse and worse. We have her at the hospital again tonight and they're acting like there's nothing that can be done. I asked them if we could basically just euthanize her and I've never seen people get so offended! Am I wrong? I know if it was me I'd want to be put out of my misery. I'm not even sure if she's aware enough to experience anything really? I'm so torn up. I have a notion to inject her with something myself. It feels like the right thing to do to me. I love this woman so much. We were always so very close. I just can't watch this anymore. My family members arent going to take any action. Help... 
My heart goes out to you. And you ask this at a very sensitive time for me as I had a family pet, Cindy, put to sleep last Tuesday, and it is one of the most painful and saddest things to do. To be there while the vet injects them and you know they are gone.
But she was 18 which is really old age for a dog, had become blind, had started going round in circles, lost sense of smell, could hardly walk so when took out you had to carry her, and basically the quality of her life had gone.However she had kept a really good appetitie but that went in last days, and her wight was just over 3 kilos and was skin and bone, bless her. The vet actually said at the time of injecting her she wished this could be done for humans too, and I really agree!
WHY is it insisted people carry on carrying on when their lives have lost all dignity. Of course the decision has to come from those who want to go, but in your gran's case she really cannot cognitively respond. to that. But very likely would agree if she knew what would happen. I know I would.
I wonder WHY this culture is so against euthanasia for humans? Some places allow it like Switzerland, but it is VERY expensive. Last I heard £10,000. People without much money couldn't afford that.
I really don't know what to say other than I really feel for you, and you will do what is best for your gran.
Edited by zzripz (11/04/16 06:29 AM)
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Terpfreak
❀Terpenes❀



Registered: 07/08/16
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Loc: Land Of Ooo
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: zzripz]
#23800057 - 11/04/16 08:37 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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My thoughts are with you. As someone who's chronically ill, I commend you for spending your time and energy on her. You have no idea how much people like us appreciate it
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,818
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My heart goes out to you man. My grandmother had a similar situation, would've been great if she'd been given the opportunity for assisted suicide. My grandfather, too -- he had dementia for the last three or four years of his life. Didn't even know where he was. He wasn't himself anymore, and went way past his time. We live in a primitive country on a primitive planet.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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Stromrider
This must be the place



Registered: 06/02/13
Posts: 7,325
Loc: Dept of know what I'm say...
Last seen: 1 day, 7 hours
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Thanks all for your kind words. They didn't do much of anything for her and sent her back to the assisted living facility. I guess I just sit and watch her suffer now
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Grey
⇜ ✯ ⇝



Registered: 11/06/14
Posts: 6,223
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If you need someone to talk to, feel free to call me.
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AMU Q&A If you don't have a plan of your own, you'll become a part of somebody else's.
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 15 days
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Quote:
Buster_Brown said:
Quote:
sprinkles said: The right to die should be a basic human right just as the right to live.
Re-incarnation provides the opportunity to regenerate at any stage of the game. Ultimately consciousness could migrate to a specific age, say, you wanted to be a teen for the rest of your existence, then someone else would inhabit the body until you took it over, and then someone else would inhabit the body until it was discarded probably around age 30.
This is a basic overview of the reincarnate possibility.
Believe it.
reincarnation is a nice idea, but it's not a for sure deal or anything.
reincarnation is for people who enjoy being here. Unfortunately I was born with a brain so earth has kind of been a cumbersome experience for me. I dont want to come back here ever. But I would chose to come back here over experiencing nothing. My preference would be to go to heaven, not the muslim version of heaven though. Their heaven is a whorehouse.
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liloldme
( ͝° ͜ʖ͡°)つ=D



Registered: 05/15/04
Posts: 5,087
Loc: Zone 8
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Re: Suffering elderly [Re: sprinkles] 1
#23801164 - 11/04/16 04:42 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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The reason they're soo concerned with your suggestion is because their only concern is the LOS of their patient or "Length of stay". I imagine she's on hospice yeah? If so it can take most Hospice organizations up to 3 weeks to break even financially so their biggest concern is keeping the patient alive for now.. I was an IT guy for one for almost 3 years so I heard and saw all kinds of fucked up shit. Most likely your comment has already been reported to a social worker and her death would be heavily investigated at this point. GL man and sorry things are going down this way.
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zzripz
Stranger


Registered: 12/23/08
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A very pertinent question is, how come a warmongering culture which loves perpetual war, and murdering countless innocent people, men, women, and children, and babies, and calling it 'collateral damage', and seeing the young people they mindcontrol into their military and their contrived fked up invasions killed. How come then they still deny someone their own personal freedom to end their life with dignity? EVEN the very old and terminally ill and suffering they deny this freedom! So on one had they are a death cult and on the other deny others freedom of their own death.
it is all about CONTROL!
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