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Anonymous #1
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Marrying young
#23795326 - 11/02/16 05:44 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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So I've been with my girl for a long time. I want to ask her to marry me and I know that she would say yes because she has been hinting at it for so long. The thing that I think about is that I've only ever been with 2 girls in my life and she was the 2nd one. I want to be with her only for the rest of my life but I feel like it kind of sucks that im so young and have only been with 2 girls and I would die that way if I make my next jump to marriage.
As a bachelor gift to myself before marriage I was almost considering an up scale escort. Would anyone else do this? I feel like its so wrong but I also feel like I need to do it or for the rest of my life I'll know that I haven't even had a handful of experiences.
Opinions?
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Anonymous #2
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Wrap it up son
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Anonymous #3
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If you feel you need to do that. Your not ready for marriage.
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DoneKildatReason
Chemical in the body


Registered: 02/25/05
Posts: 1,061
Loc: Green Country
Last seen: 12 days, 2 hours
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If you really do love her, just don't cheat man. It'll hurt her, and what goes around comes around. It'll hurt you too. Maybe take a break for 6 months or so. It'll be better if yall spread your wings now instead of after marriage. If you're meant to be nothing will stop you. Hell, if you're meant to be, even cheating on each other won't break you up..... but that hurts .
What is it you really are missing out on? Just sex I assume since you consider an escort.... do you get excited when making eye contact with a new unknown female? Do you want relationships, or sex?
Either way..... I think you should wait to get married, maybe something is telling you she's not the one. Or maybe she is, but you've not been convinced yet.... go meet some other women. Have sex. Chances are, they will pale in comparison to her, and if not, you'll have at least a better answer.
-------------------- This was an experiment.
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JohnnieYen
Okay



Registered: 03/15/11
Posts: 3,529
Loc: City Z
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These guys are right, you should not get married OP. When you truly love someone, the hottest girl couldn't convince you to cheat. When you think of the hurt you would cause them, it would be easy to turn down.
The fact that you think you need to treat yourself to an escort is backwards thinking. How do you know that way of thinking won't stop. Soon you will be treating yourself to prostitutes over trivial decisions.
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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You've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with but you're upset because you've only slept with 2 people? That's some immature bullshit man and maybe you don't deserve your current girlfriend if that's how you feel.
I would give up every single lay I've had to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe you should try appreciate what you have instead of what you haven't had!
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WeAreMushroom
Ask Me About Bigfoot



Registered: 11/10/14
Posts: 1,405
Loc: Frying Like An Eagle
Last seen: 4 years, 10 months
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Hey man, I'm 21 and I just got married to the love of my life about three months ago. She's only the third person I've ever slept with, but I don't really feel any desire to be with anybody other than my wife.
I didn't have a bachelor party or any strippers or an escort or any of that crap people tell you that you're supposed to have before you get married. Strippers just make me sad cause I know they don't want to be doing what they're doing, they're doing it to feed their babies or put themselves through college or pay for a meth habit. 
If you want to get married, you should be cool with the idea of never ever having sex with anybody except your wife, or else you could seriously fuck up your life later down the road. If you're not cool with that idea, don't get married.
My wife and I have a great sex life. I don't need to have sex with lots of different people when I can have lots of different sex with one person on lots of different drugs.
The longer you spend with one person, the better they'll know how to make you fell good. Some backpage hooker is just going to give it her best shot, you might not even enjoy it.
Idk man, it's your life but this sounds like you're not ready to get married.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Quote:
FruitOfLife said: You've found someone you want to spend the rest of your life with but you're upset because you've only slept with 2 people? That's some immature bullshit man and maybe you don't deserve your current girlfriend if that's how you feel.
I would give up every single lay I've had to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. Maybe you should try appreciate what you have instead of what you haven't had!
talk some sense into 'em man! Gratitude is in high demand but short order these days, learn to cultivate it now, OP, and you will be ... well, grateful! later on.
I've had sex with enough different kinds of women to learn that sex is not nearly as important as having a heart to heart connection, and that doesn't happen from having lots of one night stands or flings. It sucks, to go questing for love and only finding women who just want to hook up. Therefore, if you've found that connection, then that's what really counts.
How about you hold off on the idea of getting married for six months? Just put it into the background and try to be engaged with your girlfriend presently, trying to make your relationship the best it can be. If, after that amount of time, you really want to get married, then go for it.
Edited by Chakra Shock (11/03/16 07:03 PM)
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They
Stranger


Registered: 10/23/16
Posts: 146
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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OP, let me offer a somewhat alternative perspective.
I no longer believe in marriage (for me personally) but back when I still did, it very quickly became obvious for me that one requirement of my future wife would be that we should have the same taste in other girls, and obviously some level of openness to bring them in and explore them together.
In other words, I have a VERY high requirement for novelty. I could make one human keep my interest for a year, maybe even 2-3 or more, ok let's say best scenario ever, 5 years. But then what? Then the call of the wild and fresh fresh pussy, would have me hunting in no time. THen what? Lie? Cheat? Fuck no. Not if I love this wife girl person.
So I thought this stuff out in advance. If I marry (big if) there needs to be
1. interest in other girls, in the wife 2. interest in exploring them together 3. her interest in girls must at least to some extent, match mine, as in, we both like the same kind of girls, then plenty of fun can ensue.
Fun fact: people come to me for advice lately, and one case I had was this:
guy, 19 years of age. Loves this girl, been with her for 4 years now. Has only been with her, this is his first girl ever. Feels extremely guilty because on one hand he genuinely loves her, on another he's more and more curious of other girls, and doesn't want to hurt her, cheat, etc.
The guy is there visibly torn, and sees no way out.
To me, it sprung up immediately. I ask, well does your girl like other girls? He looked at me like I was from Mars. Uh, dunno. Four years he's been dating and banging this girl and he doesn't know how she plays with other girls. Okay I ask (knowing that about 3 quarters of females are pretty much wired for being bisexual, given the right conditions) - I ask, has she ever kissed other girls?
Answer: Yes.
Did she like it? Yes, plenty.
Well then, I see opportunity here 
Why restrict the game to this either / or mentality, one girl one guy necessarily? Why? Tell the girl your issue, be sincere, explore with her what she'd like to explore with other girls, and see if you can find some nice girl to explore together. Plenty of em curious about being with a couple, all manner of fantasies floating out there. Just don't lie and betray and cheat on each other, there's literally no need for that. Just express as you are and accept others to do the same, as they are.
So what I'm saying is that this guy's problem was not his feelings or his girl's feelings, it's the mental assumption that it has to be confined to some predetermined formula, being with this one girl OR the other. Why? Why not both? Why not let the chips fall where they may, let the heart speak and flow naturally with it?
The more I've asked and explored this with girls, the more I see pent up lesbian attraction tendencies, unresolved attraction towards female room mates, friends, whatever. In other words, room to play 
I am vehemently opposed to this idea that at any point in our life we have to choose to be with just one partner, in some inflexible rigid one on one configuration forever. Why would we? If you like it that way, awesome, you go and play. I know I see all this variety in nature, in how atoms and molecules bond and play together, same for neurons, same for all the animals and plants in the ecosystem. Everything connects and disconnects spontaneously, in wonderful complex configurations, playing this great amazing unpredictable game. Only humans get stuck in making these rigid plans, as if you can ever really plan who or what you'll be attracted to, 5 or 10 years from now.
In the interest of transparency, I'll also mention that I am actively "challenging" marriages, if I see any cracks between those partners. I've broken a few up, or at least taken the female for a ride in ways that show her how she's just settling for that wuss husband, and at least to my mind once you see the husband as lacking, wanting, lower quality than what you can actually get, then it's just a matter of time before that marriage is done for. And I blame the husband for letting his guard down, being careless with his woman, as in couples where that's not the case I have no window to stick my nose in.
I believe in magnetic attraction, from the heart to the heart, and that in fact needs no metal rings or contracts, to tell you where the nest is, who to return home to. So OP you take the plunge if you want to, just be very clear as to why you'd want to bring weird outdated rituals and metal rings and huge financial costs into it, to mark with metal something that you know in your heart to be true already, because you genuinely feel it.
Why are you looking to get married? Who are you trying to convince with this act?
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Re: Marrying young [Re: They] 1
#23799146 - 11/03/16 09:24 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
They said:
Why restrict the game to this either / or mentality, one girl one guy necessarily? Why?
For the most part, I totally agree. Relationships in which one or the other person can't even bring up the topic of exploring other partners, simply in a sexual way, are typically gonna be stifling. However, relationships without boundaries and limitations are also so loosely defined that you can't grow any deep roots with them.
The balance is all about discovering your nature. I know that, if I found someone who really loved me and I loved them, I wouldn't need any other lover. It simply wouldn't be an issue for me: I'm more interested in exploring the heights and depths of devotion, and getting to know someone so well that they feel like my own flesh and blood. That's what a couple is all about: fully understanding someone else's nature as it directly synchronizes with your own in order to appreciate the entire spectrum and beauty of human life.
If OP is interested in exploring other girls, then he should tread carefully, and talk to his girlfriend about it if and only if he is completely certain that he wants to explore other women, no matter what. Don't even bring it up if it's just a flight of fancy. Let the desire go.
They, I live in a place where basically everyone I know is poly. They're all about the openness of sexuality and multiple partners, and here I am like "nah! I don't want none of it!". There's the constant assumption that freedom means fulfilling your desires, ignoring limitations, but the way I see it, the way to be free is to let go of the countless desires and focus only one the ones that really count.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Escort, marriage, become single or have an open relationship.
Whatever you do don't go behind your fiances back because you will lose her if she's the one to find out you've lied.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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littleton
Stranger



Registered: 08/18/10
Posts: 440
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Re: Marrying young [Re: sudly]
#23799468 - 11/03/16 11:46 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I lll keep my post shirt and simple
Having very few partners is the most attractive trait on a person.
Being able to have sex and the best kinds of sex with each other should be better than anything else that matters, All the sex, The best kinds of sex, In the morning, at the night, On the new rug, Its yours to enjoy for the two of you now.
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Anonymous #1
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I think my biggest issue is that I am so damn horny all the time. Which I suppose is normal for a young guy but every sexy girl I see I just wanna fuck the shit out of her. It has nothing to do with my partner, shes drop dead gorgeous and actually seeing her all the time makes me even more horny. its a bad cycle.
I don't think I could ever venture into having her open her mind to bringing in another girl because its a two way street, possibly opening my mind to including other guys which I would never be for. So that idea is probably not going to work out.
You guys are right though. People go their whole lives looking for someone that not only they love but also loves them back unconditionally! I feel like I am just being unappreciative and selfish. I don't want to break up with her to explore either, she'd be scooped up so quick because she is such wifey material. She can be freaky in bed which I love, it really gets me going.
I guess my biggest gripe is that sex is just not important to her, its one of the last things on her mind. Just being loved without the physical aspect is what she cares most about. Which isn't a bad thing, its just I am much more sexual than she is. Sometimes I know I can be overbearing about it, which turns her off. I get like obsessed with having sex with her because I am so attracted to her. When she's not feeling it I turn to porn and than start having those other thoughts.
If I could choose all the things I would want in a women, she meets that description so there really is nobody else I want in my life. I could never cheat on her, especially once were married. I think I am dealing with internal urges/demons that I need to work out somehow. I am trying to abstain from porn as much as I can but its so hard, porn is so easy to obtain. Anything that I fantasize about is available at my finger tips, right on my phone.
I've noticed the less I obsess over porn and sex, the quicker my days go by and the I feel less desperate to bang my girlfriend.
How do you guys abstain from jacking off and watching porn? I feel like that is one of my biggest issues, it makes me want more and more sex.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Porn is a gross waste of time. Find a better hobby than whacking off
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Marrying young [Re: azur]
#23800771 - 11/04/16 02:12 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Well, thats how I always feel after I blow a load. But before, leading up to it, it all seems worthy of my time and if I dont have time i try to make time for it. (face palming myself)
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 30 days, 9 hours
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I live with my girlfriend now and its like we are married. I don't really like the institution of marriage it just seems weird to me.
"Let's get the government in on our relationship so I know you wont ever leave me."
I can see myself getting married when I have money for a nice ceremony and a super fun honeymoon, but just for the paperwork has no appeal to me.
OP do you guys live together?, cuz you might wanna try that first.
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Quote:
Anonymous said: Well, thats how I always feel after I blow a load. But before, leading up to it, it all seems worthy of my time and if I dont have time i try to make time for it. (face palming myself)
Exactly. Masterbation cures all horniness...for a few minutes. If you know how it makes you before you do it, ask yourself why you're still doing it.
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Marrying young [Re: azur]
#23800820 - 11/04/16 02:32 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
The Mycologist said: I live with my girlfriend now and its like we are married. I don't really like the institution of marriage it just seems weird to me.
"Let's get the government in on our relationship so I know you wont ever leave me."
I can see myself getting married when I have money for a nice ceremony and a super fun honeymoon, but just for the paperwork has no appeal to me.
OP do you guys live together?, cuz you might wanna try that first.
Yeah, we do live together which is nice knowing that we can handle that and its a stepping stone that we have already passed. I dont think she cares either about the whole paperwork thing, she just wants a husband and she wants that husband to be me.
Quote:
azur said:
Quote:
Anonymous said: Well, thats how I always feel after I blow a load. But before, leading up to it, it all seems worthy of my time and if I dont have time i try to make time for it. (face palming myself)
Exactly. Masterbation cures all horniness...for a few minutes. If you know how it makes you before you do it, ask yourself why you're still doing it.
Because before I do it, all I can think about is how bomb it feels in the moment. Almost like an addiction. It even causes me to premature ejaculate sometimes because all I can think about is cumming.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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That's what I just said, in different words. Maybe some counseling would be good for you?
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 30 days, 9 hours
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Re: Marrying young [Re: azur]
#23800901 - 11/04/16 03:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Why rush to get married? In my mind the level of devotion in a serious relationship should be on par with marriage anyways.
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
The Mycologist said: I live with my girlfriend now and its like we are married. I don't really like the institution of marriage it just seems weird to me.
"Let's get the government in on our relationship so I know you wont ever leave me."
I can see myself getting married when I have money for a nice ceremony and a super fun honeymoon, but just for the paperwork has no appeal to me.
OP do you guys live together?, cuz you might wanna try that first.
There are a variety of reasons to make it official with the gov, like hospital visitation rights.
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The Mycologist
Explorer

Registered: 05/06/16
Posts: 3,024
Last seen: 30 days, 9 hours
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True and insurance premiums but that should really not have any weight in a marriage decision.
-------------------- "That you are here—that life exists, and identity; That the powerful play goes on, and you will contribute a verse.” ― Walt Whitman, Leaves of Grass

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deadwk
00101011


Registered: 06/17/09
Posts: 8,890
Loc: Canada, eh?
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Personally I dislike the idea of getting married. Typically if your marriage ends in divorce (which most do) the woman will get a nice chunk of everything you have, and can seriously damage your life. But this is my fairly jaded opinion based on the women I've dated
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Dark_Star
train driver pervading a desktop


Registered: 08/20/04
Posts: 31,859
Loc: Uranus
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Quote:
Anonymous said: If you feel you need to do that. Your not ready for marriage.
^^^this. Don't cheat man.
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Anonymous #1
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I am trying to put all those thoughts from the first post behind me but... My girlfriend is NEVER horny!! I am seriously going insane. Her sex drive is so low, its literally the last thing on her mind. Whereas, here I am, literally dying to blow a load. Trying to so hard to abstain from porn but how am I supposed to do that when Im stuck!!
She thinks all I care about is sex but I feel like she doesn't care at all! When she does want it, god shes amazing, probably the best. But thats like 2 times a month at the most.
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Maybe you don't turn her on....
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Anonymous #1
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Re: Marrying young [Re: azur]
#23822745 - 11/11/16 11:39 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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That's how I feel sometimes... But she has always been this way, for as long as we have been together. And im not the one who went after her, she came after me and wanted me to be with her.
It's just discouraging, she doesn't even let me try to turn her on cause she's so out of the mood. I know how to turn her on, what will get her going, but she just resists so I stop.
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Marrying young [Re: azur]
#23822753 - 11/11/16 11:43 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Or maybe you're just not compatible, and you're just keeping each other from finding people you would be much happier with by staying together for... the sake of staying together?
IMO, you gotta sample a good few different types of relationship with different kinds of people for you to be able to hone in on what's really important to you. I feel like lots of people stay together just because.. maybe fear of being alone.. and then find out they just can't hack it years later and hurt more people more badly in the process of separating cause they tried to string something that wasn't working along. It seems a common theme these days.
Break the mold man. Go wild. Do what you gotta do. You owe nothing to anyone other than love for 1. yourself, and 2. anyone else.
And believe you me, life has taught me this the hard way; loving someone is in no way related to staying with them if you're, or they're, unhappy doing so. That's the opposite of love.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Repertoire89
Cat



Registered: 11/15/12
Posts: 21,773
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Quote:
Anonymous said: I am trying to put all those thoughts from the first post behind me but... My girlfriend is NEVER horny!! I am seriously going insane. Her sex drive is so low, its literally the last thing on her mind. Whereas, here I am, literally dying to blow a load. Trying to so hard to abstain from porn but how am I supposed to do that when Im stuck!!
She thinks all I care about is sex but I feel like she doesn't care at all! When she does want it, god shes amazing, probably the best. But thats like 2 times a month at the most.

Dump her.
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ZacksJourney
STRANGLER



Registered: 05/02/16
Posts: 543
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Unfortunately, I got married in the age of 21. I do not regret the woman I chose (I'm really lucky) but the actual "marriage" thing, looking back, we both think it was stupid and we did it because we thought we "need too".
I say live together, drop the official stuff, if you guys love each other, you won't break the package, and if you will, nothing happens.
Reading now you guys barely have sex.. DON'T GET MARRIED.
But that's just me.
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ALL MUSHROOMS ARE EDIBLE, some are just only edible once. Trade List
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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Maybe she's testing you? I think JSB and Repetoir are right though, seems like the two of you really aren't as compatible as you thought. Definitely wait on the marriage since sex is a topic that you kind of have to tip toe around with her.
An alternative route is that you could just masturbate without porn, I mean fantasies are usually enough for me, and that's nothing like internet porn, psychologically speaking.
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Anonymous #4
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find a chick that likes sex as much as you do op. don't waste your time in a sexless relationship. you're a man and have biological needs. my 2 cents
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wtfcrazymofo
foil hater



Registered: 07/26/15
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Colonial alley
Last seen: 11 hours, 1 minute
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Quote:
Anonymous said: That's how I feel sometimes... But she has always been this way, for as long as we have been together. And im not the one who went after her, she came after me and wanted me to be with her.
It's just discouraging, she doesn't even let me try to turn her on cause she's so out of the mood. I know how to turn her on, what will get her going, but she just resists so I stop.
BDSM is the cure for this. Tie her up don't give her any for an hour she will love it.
-------------------- If you want to eat->https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8553541 Bag sealers are to bulky (my hood isn't that big) https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/28622922
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
wtfcrazymofo said: BDSM is the cure for this. Tie her up don't give her any for an hour she will love it.
LOL, how you gonna get a girl to commit to that if she aint in the mood, just tie her up anyway?? Why not just bypass the BDSM and go straight in for a bit of rape, it'd save you the bother of finding rope and making sure the knots are secure.
I think you may have missed a step in your reasoning there man.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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wtfcrazymofo
foil hater



Registered: 07/26/15
Posts: 1,201
Loc: Colonial alley
Last seen: 11 hours, 1 minute
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Quote:
Jokeshopbeard said:
Quote:
wtfcrazymofo said: BDSM is the cure for this. Tie her up don't give her any for an hour she will love it.
LOL, how you gonna get a girl to commit to that if she aint in the mood, just tie her up anyway?? 
I think you may have missed a step in your reasoning there man.
Yeah your right... really the best option is to not splooge for about 1 month so you can get super powers.
OP you think jacken might make her not want you? I do.
-------------------- If you want to eat->https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/8553541 Bag sealers are to bulky (my hood isn't that big) https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/28622922
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neb
Doctorb


Registered: 04/21/14
Posts: 6
Loc: South Africa
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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I married young, to the only woman I have ever slept with, I have no desire to ever sleep with another woman, sure I find other woman sexy and such, but sex isnt a purely physical thing, there is a lot of mental play at work.
Don't get married if you are just going to fuck someone else the day before.
Unless she's cool with it, if she's cool with it do whatever man.
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