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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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My life is bland and uninteresting 2
#23785072 - 10/30/16 11:17 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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There's so many topics here about pretty controversial stuff, I don't want to get specific, like, criticism of groups, not understanding them. I like to think how it's for me and then I thought "But that never happens to me." The people I meet, by and large, and bland and uninteresting, usually plesant, some less so.
I don't go to university, I'm not interested in joining any group. I'm just making by, working 5-6 days a week and on the days I have off, I just want to lay in bed and do nothing. Sometimes read a book, if it's entertaining, but not even then.
You know how at the end of 1984 and winston smith is just there in a cafe, broken, drinking victory gin that's always laced with artificial sweetener, but he's too broken to do anything about it, and just drinks the stuff anyway? I feel like that sometimes. Pretty much the only reason I have to live is because I have friends I support financially and emotionally, and because I want to live long enough to see people living in kin's domains. Not just a few hippies out in the woods, but the majority of people vacating cities and all that bullshit make-work "jobs" that leave people unsatisfied in their core because they know their work is meaningless and it poisons their spirit.
I'm not really bothered by special interest groups because in my day to day life, the only people who offend me are selfish/dangerous/reckless road users, double parkers, and screaming children.
I'd like to smoke more weed, I have a volcano but I hardly use it because I'm working nights and days and when I smoke I just stay awake and I can't afford to do that.
Pretty much all I want now is riches so I can live somewhere warm, sunny, arid, wake up, have fuck all work to do, and just know that I don't have to do anything because it's all taken care of.
I'd like more sex to. Like I used to when I was a teenager, when I'd fuck all day, taking lots of breaks inbetween when I was worn out and then I could go at it again.
No real point to this ramble besides seeing a lot of shit I don't feel like replying to in the pub but I want to say something as well.
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California
A E S T H E T I C S A T A N


Registered: 12/27/04
Posts: 72,118
Loc: H A U N T E D H O U S E
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Quote:
Visionary Tools said: I'd like more sex to.
*too
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shadyy
aHhahhHA


Registered: 09/08/08
Posts: 21,330
Loc: winchestertonfieldville i...
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Do something crazy.
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ga ga ga eets eets how you gone be mad on vacation? MONICA COULDN'T TELL TIME UNTIL SHE WAS 13
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California
A E S T H E T I C S A T A N


Registered: 12/27/04
Posts: 72,118
Loc: H A U N T E D H O U S E
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: shadyy] 2
#23785090 - 10/30/16 11:22 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Yeah, like post in the Romper Room.
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mt cleverest
clevendafodil

Registered: 08/19/12
Posts: 2,348
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: California] 1
#23785134 - 10/30/16 11:37 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Devote your thinking time to enlightenment carl jung style. Do more acid on your days off with the purpose of integrating the shadow, maybe even watch a couple scary movies while tripping. its hard to be bored when youre doing god's work and facing your demons.
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Chakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
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I think a lot of people are finding themselves in a situation like you are. Working hard, grinding away, but growing older within.
There are a lot of ways to rekindle your spark and enthusiasm, I doubt I really have to list any of them for you, but I will anyways just for conversation's sake: remember what it was like to be a kid, then do things that would have made you happy back then, clear your mind in deep meditation, exercise a lot, do the next best idea that comes into your head as soon as you do it.
Maybe you're just filling a role but you don't feel like it's your true purpose right now. Well, everything is interconnected, and what you're doing now could very well be preparing you for something much greater in the future, but it's also okay to just appreciate life and live simply.
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Mad_Larkin
Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: California] 1
#23785292 - 10/30/16 12:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
California said: Yeah, like post in the Romper Room.
woah, baby steps
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trees


Registered: 02/08/09
Posts: 9,194
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: shadyy]
#23785296 - 10/30/16 12:27 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
i hate liz said: Do something crazy.
Sounds like your only option. You want riches, but you're not gonna get it with your attitude.
Start selling high priced drugs. Make money your main game. Money is fun when you have a lot of it. And if you lose, you'll just be back to square one where you are now.
Keep trying till you die. Right now, this is your real life, and it currently sucks.
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Edited by trees (10/30/16 12:29 PM)
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 7 hours, 23 minutes
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: trees]
#23785462 - 10/30/16 01:18 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Lmao no that is perfect. Op if you are so boring go to the romper room. It will most definitely put some pep in your step
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: Chakra Shock]
#23786284 - 10/30/16 05:06 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Chakra Shock said: Maybe you're just filling a role but you don't feel like it's your true purpose right now. Well, everything is interconnected, and what you're doing now could very well be preparing you for something much greater in the future, but it's also okay to just appreciate life and live simply.
Thanks man, that's pretty much what I wanted to hear.
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Middleman

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
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If you think money and sex will solve your problems, you're gonna have a bad time...
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: Middleman]
#23786444 - 10/30/16 06:00 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If money won't fix your problems, they're probably petty ass problems
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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Mad_Larkin
Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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im paraplegic, can money fix my problems?
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ThatKidWithTheFace
R.I.P. ZIG R.I.P. Sloth


Registered: 09/30/12
Posts: 11,904
Loc: All Good in Allgood
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: Mad_Larkin] 2
#23786448 - 10/30/16 06:02 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Enough of it
-------------------- Check Out My Beats SoundCloud
[quote]Sheekle said: [quote]ThatKidWithTheFace said: Is this the same aunt that fucks dogs?[/quote] u bet ur ass it is.[/quote]
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Mad_Larkin
Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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404
error


Registered: 08/20/10
Posts: 14,539
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: Mad_Larkin] 1
#23786634 - 10/30/16 07:21 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Mad_Larkin said: im paraplegic, can money fix my problems?
we have the technology, but it's gonna cost you an arm and a leg
Edited by 404 (10/30/16 10:31 PM)
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Mad_Larkin
Registered: 11/29/07
Posts: 18,606
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: 404]
#23786645 - 10/30/16 07:25 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: Chakra Shock] 1
#23786697 - 10/30/16 07:53 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
Chakra Shock said: I think a lot of people are finding themselves in a situation like you are. Working hard, grinding away, but growing older within.
The system is extremely good at programming people to believe this is an acceptable norm. It does to fuck all to teach us how to be be grateful for what we have, but is an expert in constantly reminding us what we don't have (like enough riches and good looks and sex), and prompting us to go and get it. Yet how very fickle these things are, it's like chasing wafts of smoke.
Perhaps you're going through a bit of an existential crisis right now VT? I felt like you did almost constantly for a few months some time back, but I'm glad I went through it (mostly) - it was an important stage for me in fully divorcing myself emotionally from this clusterfuck, and was also the catalyst for my reconsideration that I need not, nor have the slightest desire to, continue to being physically connected to it. As CS said, I feel that that period for me was:
Quote:
Chakra Shock said: preparing you for something much greater in the future
Something so much greater in fact, that I had not even considered it before. My long lost dreams of my youth have come back to the surface, like buried treasure, and once I dusted off the cobwebs and muck off them I found them filled with gold. Emotional gold, exchangeable only in the life bank of experience, happiness, contentment and love.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Visionary Tools



Registered: 06/23/07
Posts: 7,953
Last seen: 1 year, 7 months
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Re: My life is bland and uninteresting [Re: Jokeshopbeard] 1
#23786827 - 10/30/16 08:40 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I had a good old time in my early 20's doing not that much except what I wanted to. I thought a lot, and whilst the fruits of that thought may not be apparent to myself people wanted to spend time with me so I'm grateful for that.
These days, I want to go back to that state, but, responsibilities, bills n such means that my energy is focused on getting little slavery tokens and yes, I've seen they live, got the poster of it to. It's one of my favourite movies.
I would like to be in a position where my needs are met and there's none of that foundation of "if I stop working, all this ends and the world becomes a lot nastier." I know this fear is a tool used to keep people in line, but, hey, I live in this prison.
Thus, why I want to be someplace that's different, and have a different set of problems, like dealing with a sangria headache, or sunburn (which I've felt before and is no laughing matter). Struggling to learn another language and feeling dumb when I barely understand someone. Because all of those problems have opportunities which I'd enjoy, like reading in the sun, drinking sangria and finding it really refreshing, and making language comparisons based on the ones I know and feeling really quite clever when I can read ingredients labels and wonder why azucar means sugar. Things like that.
Don't get me wrong, sometimes bland and uninteresting is just what you need. I know, from the years past of horrid depression and mood swings, sometimes violence, usually just self loathing and wanting to die from a mental anguish that was that painful, interspersed with brief moments of happiness where I probably went overboard, like a starving man at a feast eating until he was sick, knowing that his next meal may be a long time coming.
I'm just in that phase of life I'm sure 99.99% of people are in, where they are honest enough to admit they do pointless work, lead pointless lives, and wonder about the futility of existence when the those who'd wish to shape the future seem to be painting a very bleak outlook on things. And that's important, because what's often imagined becomes reality and it's something that's either overlooked, or outright denied. But it's important for people to paint a positive future, one where it's worth living to bring about, a world you'd be happy for children to grow up into.
Sadly there seems to be a big business in capturing the imagination. What's that greek logic saying where if you can't prove it, don't say it, it's gossip? But, that gossip these days is about how people by their very existence are bad and it'd be a better world with fewer people. That's a dangerous message to instil into the minds of impressionable folk.
So, back to being bland and uninteresting: What in the fuck am I doing with my life, why am I here at this time, what for, how, when, with who? There's certain things I have to believe like, the world is not going to end (despite what the doom n gloomers would have you imagine) and there will be innovation that we can't as yet perceive, along with stuff that's often been imagined, because I can't imagine us being confined to one world forever.
It's why I'm quite happy in imagining a future for humanity where space is abundant, it's post scarcity (so no one's living in a scare city anymore) and they can enjoy a good clean environment and have technology that won't poison them and their environ. Will those folk be happy, will they be dissatisfied, what will their challenges and opportunities be, and how will they look back at these times. Will we be compared favourably to say, the medieval folk, those of antiquity, those of before offical history begins?
I'd like to think so. I'd like to think the internet was a pretty far out piece of tech, but, in time, it may be seen as no more significant as a sextant, or the loom, very useful tools in their own right, but fallen into obsolescence.
But, back to the matter at hand, of my life. I want more sex, and the money so I can work less. More sex, the way I have it, means more intimacy with a loved one. Which I don't really have yet. I have a friend, who, much as I like to think of him as a boyfriend, and, who has said he loves me (as well as demonstrating it so I know it's not just empty words) I and he both know it's never going to be the sort of romantic intimate bond I'm craving. I accept that. He has his own problems, as we all do, and we compromise, like I'm sure many couples do, and we are more friends. Who share brief moments of intimacy I find far to fleeting and infrequent. He doesn't drink, nor smoke, nor has any interest in psychedelics. His eyes tend to glaze over when I talk about the stars and the homes our descendants could have amongst them, or when I talk about say, the symbiotic relationship of the lichen or fig tree & wasp. But we play games together and have a giggle about things, and we enjoy each others company during meals, so, it's 90% of what I want.
I keep trying to remind myself of my accomplishments, and they don't give me lasting satisfaction. A stranger at work said, when I had gone "I wish he didn't have to go out and do a delivery, he's a really nice man" (I was offering him advice based on my experiences) and that day at work cheered me up. A lot of my trouble is when I'm left to my own devices and I tend to think myself glum. Not always mind you, but I've been in a lot of pain lately and after the pain is over I tend to think a lot. What if people are inherently unsatisfiable? But that's too cruel to contemplate, so I'd rather not.
Oh well, things aren't as bad as they used to be, I'd just like them to be nicer. Oh, and the thing with money, it strikes me as odd that for the same amount of time and effort, the labours of the company head should be compensated hundreds of times more wealth than the one who keeps the place clean, or who toils in the fields, or who looks after the sick. People who like to talk about the fine details of the workings of political/economic situations bores the shit out of me (it's about as fascinating as the difference between electric and petrol driven lawnmowers to most people) but I know enough to know that there's inequality, greed and corruption amongst all forms of government. If money is a token representation of peoples energy, then why do some people just get given credit for virtue of birth, whilst others toil until death for just enough to keep them fed and sheltered, and sometimes not even that? It seems to me that civilisation hasn't really changed, just slavery has evolved into something quite subtle, where most people are working far too much to ever really give thought (or vehemently deny) that they are a slave.
Doesn't hurt me to admit it. I'm a slave. If I don't work, then someone, like my family, will have to slave to support me. I'm a slave with nice trappings and I can choose my work, but still a slave. That's why there's "laws" written on pieces of paper prohibiting what I can and cannot put into my body, because, by that law's logic, I'm not the owner of the body I inhabit. Which I find funny.
I've probably talked about this before, and I can't be bothered to organise it. I'm just happy I've written it all out now and maybe my mind will be a bit clearer, like after a tidy up, so then I'll have a free mind to think "alright, I know all that, it's sorted. What now?"
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Quote:
Visionary Tools said: I'm just in that phase of life I'm sure 99.99% of people are in, where they are honest enough to admit they do pointless work, lead pointless lives, and wonder about the futility of existence
I think you vastly overestimate how self aware most people are. IME, most people are entirely dishonest with themselves about what you describe. Perhaps they know it deep down, and gorge themselves on the almost infinite distractions and illusions offered to them to help them keep this realisation deep down. Or perhaps they don't actually realise at all what you suggest. I'd estimate that ~10% are aware in the way you describe, but that could be down to our different environments.
Either way, very few of the people I interact with outside of my inner circle are 'honest enough to admit' these things. I certainly give them room to be so, as I am very upfront with my feelings about it all, which very closely match yours. Hence why I have to escape it for now, to give myself some space and some thinking time to consider if, and how, I could ever come back to live amongst the masses again, if I ever do at all.
Quote:
Visionary Tools said: I keep trying to remind myself of my accomplishments, and they don't give me lasting satisfaction. ~ Oh well, things aren't as bad as they used to be, I'd just like them to be nicer.
You know it's funny, I spent hours sitting and chatting with my oldest friend after we got back from raving last night, as we always do, and you have said almost exactly what he said to me last night there.
I've always admired this guy. He's probably the most intelligent man I know, extremely driven, and very successful. Every time I see him every few months he just looks richer than he did before - new car, house, watch, etc. Along with his wife he's built and sold several businesses, and has recently started a very successful Delicatessen, which he's about to branch into a chain. Aside of that he earns a fuck ton as a specialist planner, and is the right hand man to a millionaire that invests the money into the redevelopments he plans and fights the council over. I've only ever known one many more successful than he at 37.
And yet, that's what he told me last night - he regrets the fact that he still hasn't 'made it' in his eyes, and what he has made (which is a lot) isn't enough.
This is where he and I have always differed. He's driven by material success, and I by personal and spiritual sucess. Neither of us understands why the other is so driven by thing that drives us. And yet as I was describing my recent revelations to him last night, he commented (he rarely does this) that he's really impressed by how far I've come, and how much of a good place I seem to be in. And yet he then goes on to tell me that he's essentially annoyed at his laziness because he feels that he could have done so much more.
I've been following your predicament with interest since you started your thread in P&MW-B, as your feelings match my own, and yet in your post above I see where our feelings split - you seem to want more things, whereas I want less. Where I want less money and therefore a line of work which will fulfill my ideals, you want more. Where I want to remaim celibate until I the person I know is right comes into my life, as I am sure they will (eventually), so that in the meantime I can focus on myself, as hard as fucking terrifying as it is to face life alone, you want more sex, even though you have a partner who you say you know loves you.
Would it be too bold of me to suggest that perhaps it is in fact you that is causing you the majority of the suffering you feel right now? I mean I can see that we both suffer a very misanthropic world view, and that is something I will be working on when the time is right, but I can see you have a little optimism in yours, whereas mine is more along the lines of 'mankind is fucked, it's only a matter of time'.
Perhaps this was one of those times where you just needed to vent whilst you figure things out for yourself, and my response is entirely unnecessary, but your post above really struck me. Attachment, as usual, is what ails us both. Mine is to mankinds wasted potential and the fact that I can do nothing to stop this sinking ship. Where's yours?
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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