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freightmare
A. Muscaria Expert



Registered: 06/05/16
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Is my mental health depleting?
#23776694 - 10/27/16 01:01 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Here are some symptoms:
Visual hallucinations (Seeing faces when closing my eyes) -Made me think I was psychic for about a month
Auditory hallucinations (Hearing voices telling me to "Cut People")(Usually after consuming alcohol) Delusions ((I would hardly be able to sleep at night because I thought people were looking at me through the windows.)Stopped after a high dose of aripiprazole)
Speech problems (I usually stutter when talking. Cannot keep a consistent flow when reading aloud.)
Anger (I was legit going to kill a peer from my old highschool)
Depression (Tried killing myself several times, Now I plan on killing others.)
Hygiene Declining (Not showering as often)
Carelessness (Don't care about anything, don't make connections with people as easy)
Withdrawal (Dont talk to many people or go out in public. Created my own alphabet and use it so others cant know my thoughts.)
Physical incapability (I walk with a limp that is not from an injury)
Any thoughts?
-------------------- Under the sun, the bastard son will pop the Glock to feed himself and family
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Hippocampus



Registered: 04/01/15
Posts: 753
Last seen: 6 years, 10 months
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare]
#23776824 - 10/27/16 01:46 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I don't know if it's depleting. Have you always been like that?
Joking aside, you listed some very alarming things there. you should stay on top of your treatment plan and you should let your doctor know all this stuff. Do you have anyone close to you that you trust and helps you/cares for you? You should also tell them the things you've written here. It sounds like you are having some psychosis. If I were you I would try to do anything that could help alleviate it.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: Hippocampus]
#23777275 - 10/27/16 03:57 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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It's all fun and games until you start thinking about killing yourself or others.
You can get away with no medication up until that point.
I would recommend antipsychotics until that's out of the way. Then maybe think about lowering the dose until you no longer have homicidal or suicidal ideations.
You don't want to end up in prison.
Go check yourself into the emergency department at your local hospital right now. Be honest about everything.
You only avoid medication if you can control yourself, as the meds will take a lot of energy out of you.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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As I said in a thread over in P&MW-B earlier, the only thing that would cause me to seek assistance from pharmaceutical medicine in this life would be if I started to fear for my own life or the lives of others. OP has stated this is exactly the situation he is in.
Quote:
beforethedawn said: Go check yourself into the emergency department at your local hospital right now. Be honest about everything.
You only avoid medication if you can control yourself, as the meds will take a lot of energy out of you.
I absolutely agree with this. Your situation is the very definition of an emergency freightmare. Please seek medical help asap.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Oh wait is this the troll from before? lol
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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freightmare
A. Muscaria Expert



Registered: 06/05/16
Posts: 40
Loc: Colorado
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Do my prescriptions say Im trolling?
-------------------- Under the sun, the bastard son will pop the Glock to feed himself and family
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Jokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare]
#23777598 - 10/27/16 05:39 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I dunno, the expert troll spotters all reside in the romp. The pics above don't do much to strengthen the case that you're not though.
-------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare]
#23777747 - 10/27/16 06:14 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Microdose that shroom for 0.3g dry once every 3 days and you'll be fine in a month.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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Lucis
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare]
#23777762 - 10/27/16 06:19 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I would say seek help ASAP if you're hearing voices and having hallucinations, especially if these voices are telling you to cut others.
Also sometimes being on medications can make matters worse in the long run.
I would check out some of Robert Whitaker's thoughts on the matter, and check some of the sources he mentions for more information.
More medicine might only be good if you can find no improvement in quality of life through non-drug related avenues first.
-------------------- ©️
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: Lucis]
#23777912 - 10/27/16 07:02 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Hey OP this is common in people today aka it happens. But it can be managed and it can be recovered from if you wish as well in time in good time. Seek help from trusted family/friends who are virtuous people and ask for help and be honest with them and yourself and it'll be ok!
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
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sprinkles
otd president


Registered: 10/13/12
Posts: 21,527
Loc: washington state
Last seen: 3 years, 17 days
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare] 1
#23777949 - 10/27/16 07:16 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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stop using drugs. Get a job.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sprinkles]
#23777964 - 10/27/16 07:19 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 11 minutes
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare]
#23784396 - 10/30/16 03:44 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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What drugs have you been taking, over the last 12 months?
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#23784466 - 10/30/16 05:30 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I'm on LSD right now.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly]
#23784480 - 10/30/16 05:54 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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If you're on LSD right now try to imagine yourself into various possibilities in the mirror.
Outside is inside.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Quote:
Outside is inside.
I just wrote up a philological argument to prove it. Dualism is real.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly] 1
#23784741 - 10/30/16 09:07 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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You did a study of the history of language? Can we see it?
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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The thing is, if I did actually do it then I'd like it peer reviewed first. Without copyright issues etc.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly] 1
#23784782 - 10/30/16 09:23 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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This is an abstract though:
My nervous system is a spiderweb of conductive tissue that grants me a dualistic perception from whence I can chemically and electrically manoeuvre my body of atoms through a quantum field.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly]
#23784798 - 10/30/16 09:30 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Fine, but that has nothing to do with philology.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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That part doesn't but the body of the argument does 
It is somewhat of an abstract philological argument for the existence of dualism but I don't believe there is another way to prove dualism other than to experience it first hand through a guided argument.
A VERY coherent argument.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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DividedQuantum
Outer Head


Registered: 12/06/13
Posts: 9,819
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly] 1
#23784861 - 10/30/16 09:55 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Good luck to you sir.
-------------------- Vi Veri Universum Vivus Vici
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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virtuous_babe
Stranger



Registered: 12/16/15
Posts: 37
Last seen: 2 years, 11 months
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare] 1
#23792919 - 11/01/16 08:35 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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it sounds like you are showing symptoms of psychosis or schizophrenia. While schizophrenics to report delusions and hallucinations, what some people may not know is that most symptoms of schizophrenic are depressive symptoms, like anhedonia, loss of motivation, flat affect, etc., which it sounds like you are experiencing. The fact that aripiprazole (an atypical antipsychotic) alleviated your delusions also points to psychosis/schizophrenia. Are you in your early 20s? I suggest going to a therapist for help, and avoid medication for the time being (unless it you find it truly helpful and right for you). If you can, try to force yourself to take part in activities that you once found pleasurable.
something to keep in mind is that some people show symptoms of depression/psychosis/schizophrenia after things like robust immune responses or a stressful/traumatic event. I even know of someone who started showing symptoms in response to a tick bite that gave him lyme disease. Think back on the past few years and try to remember if anything out of the ordinary may have induced your symptoms. It could be vital for your treatment.
good luck
-------------------- all that may be wished for will by nature fade to nothing
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ModestMouse
IM WALKIN ON SUNSHINE



Registered: 05/06/13
Posts: 19,227
Loc: Upstate
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: freightmare] 1
#23793203 - 11/01/16 09:58 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
freightmare said: Physical incapability (I walk with a limp that is not from an injury)
You are suffering from the onset of mental illness and need to go to a doctor
-------------------- Anyone got a lowpass filter in this biiiiash?
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly]
#23793227 - 11/01/16 10:07 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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Quote:
sudly said: That part doesn't but the body of the argument does 
It is somewhat of an abstract philological argument for the existence of dualism but I don't believe there is another way to prove dualism other than to experience it first hand through a guided argument.
A VERY coherent argument.
Im having trouble trying to reconcile this action against some of your early posts. Are you saying the that the only way for you to prove an objective point you must first subjectively experience it.?
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: pineninja] 1
#23793366 - 11/01/16 11:03 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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It's a non-fiction argument and like many other non-fiction topics there needs to be some concentrated reading.
I think it's more so proving that there is subjectivity.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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pineninja
Dream Weaver



Registered: 08/17/14
Posts: 12,468
Loc: South
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? [Re: sudly]
#23793471 - 11/01/16 11:59 PM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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I agree with you. Either I've changed my stance or you have.
-------------------- Just a fool on the hill.
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CosmicJoke
happy mutant


Registered: 04/05/00
Posts: 10,848
Loc: Portland, OR
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? (moved) [Re: freightmare]
#23793499 - 11/02/16 12:29 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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This thread was moved from Philosophy, Sociology & Psychology.
Reason: Topic is better suited for P&MWB, good luck finding the answers you are seeking.
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They
Stranger


Registered: 10/23/16
Posts: 146
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? (moved) [Re: CosmicJoke]
#23793762 - 11/02/16 06:11 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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OP, take all that I say with a grain of salt, as I'm no doctor. Witch doctor for sure, but not Western mainstream medicine doctor
Sounds to me like you're doing a very very common set of activities that I've seen predictably lead to feeling down, blah, and also angry at life, angry at the world.
Repetitive negative thinking, focused mostly in the past or future, not the here and now. Focusing on the negative of what-is, instead of the awesome creative positive of what you want-to-be, want to work towards.
Avoiding present moment (high DMN activity, low TPN, clearly linked with mood issues).
Shallow incoherent unaware mindless breathing (forgetting to breathe as you overthink). Often coupled with A LOT of eyes-open time. So avoiding meditation, mindful breathing eyes closed.
You may be quite fidgety, restless, please observe that, that you waste a ton of electrical energy on completely pointless movement and signals, given that you've not chosen more clear hobbies or ways to focus your energy coherently. Very common for people who have no hobbies, that they soon get bored and restless (expression of the surplus electrical energy our body makes, that then DOES need some form of use, it needs to be put to something) and since there's no clear skill, ability or target, one then starts to suppress that energy with restless movement or smoking or overeating, or alcohol. The solution here is finding sports and stuff to DO, not to medicate more to not feel bored when things are boring.
Use of alcohol (CNS depressant, taking energy even lower).
Not sure what your antipsychotic pills do exactly, so ideally you may want to reach a point where you can function well without them (read: have friends and hobbies, go outside, engage yourself with stuff first and THEN start considering lowering the dose on pills).
As for wanting to off people, well of course it's nothing to write home about, but I can tell you last year I too was legit considering to off a dude, for what I considered to be good reason at the time, and it all played out well (nobody died, got assaulted or arrested, though am still considering some assault on that dude if situation shows up ) and that required no medication at all. WHat helped me a lot was splitting wood in anger with an axe, while imagining that the wood in question is the guy's head. Do that until your arms can lift an axe no more, endorphins kick in and you'll feel fine. Pussy move of course is to wish to "talk to a therapist about these feelings" when in fact all you need is some good ol' club action, hitting and smashing things to release the anger.
Question here is what do you want to DO with your time? What are you building towards? If all you have is "I don't know" then that right there is the issue, get some ideas together and come back we'll see where this goes 
What are you saying you wish to put time and energy in, what hobby or field, and the alleged mental health decrease is preventing you from it?
Because if all you wish to do is stay indoors, drink, smoke, take pills and watch movies, then you can do that very well with a limp, no problem.
Are you going outside trying to jog and sprint, and the limp is affecting you, or are you just dragging your feet as a correct expression of the fact that you feel emotionally drained?
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
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Re: Is my mental health depleting? (moved) [Re: freightmare]
#23793901 - 11/02/16 08:10 AM (7 years, 2 months ago) |
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My best guess is that you don't love yourself.
C'mon guys focus on how to love yourselves!!
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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