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Offlinefreightmare
A. Muscaria Expert
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Registered: 06/05/16
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Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
[Excerpt] Thoughts of The Damned *DELETED*
    #23772662 - 10/26/16 08:51 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Post deleted by freightmare

Reason for deletion: discouraging comments :frown:



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Under the sun, the bastard son will pop the Glock to feed himself and family


Edited by freightmare (10/26/16 08:52 AM)


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OfflineBuster_Brown
L'une
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Registered: 09/17/11
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Re: [Excerpt] Thoughts of The Damned [Re: freightmare]
    #23772741 - 10/26/16 09:26 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

The schizophrenic I'm acquainted with experiences creative anecdotes; Therefor I suggest you acquire a schizophrenic ghost-writer.


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Offlinefreightmare
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Registered: 06/05/16
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Re: [Excerpt] Thoughts of The Damned [Re: Buster_Brown]
    #23772780 - 10/26/16 09:47 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Thanks for your feedback :smile:


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Under the sun, the bastard son will pop the Glock to feed himself and family


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OfflineMurzelpfrumpft
pet donkey in a lucid dream

Registered: 08/09/12
Posts: 1,855
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Re: [Excerpt] Thoughts of The Damned [Re: freightmare]
    #23774052 - 10/26/16 05:29 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Guess being psychotic doesnt automatically make you a good writer.

I don't see how that approach could ever end up tear jerking, why would you want it to be that?

It's nothing personal, your story bears some classic features of bad writing, but I'm no expert.
What hits me is that it's pretty stereotypical.
"Your average insane asylum" - is that supposed to be a joke?

Get your jargon right, first. All inhabitants of a clinic are psychopaths, as the word hints at, for example.

I don't know where I get the impression from, but it that text you seem bored with your own story.


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
Re: [Excerpt] Thoughts of The Damned [Re: freightmare]
    #23774986 - 10/26/16 10:15 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Under the psychopaths were schizophrenics, who were regarded as the prophets of the asylum. Schizophrenics had a deep spiritual connection, and were guided by the voices.




Sounds like a load of baloney to me.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineRJ Tubs 202
Male

Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA Flag
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Re: [Excerpt] Thoughts of The Damned [Re: freightmare]
    #23775323 - 10/27/16 12:27 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

freightmare said:

i'm a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic





How would your world change if you abandoned this "diagnosis" of being "different" or "special" ?

(Does this diagnosis create a feeling of unification for you, or a sense of isolation?)

Those labeled schizophrenic are seen as special, yet many people experience various symptoms.


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