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Anonymous #1 |
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I've been using tindr pretty regularly to find girls to get with. It's been bothering me a bit because I'm not trying to lead these girls on. Sometimes if I get the feeling that they're the clingy type before I even meet up with them, I'll explain to them straight up that I've got a lot going on right now and I'm not ready to be in a committed relationship. Plenty of them are cool with this and it works out fine. But I haven't said this to every girl, I dont really feel obligated and I never drop hints as though I'm looking for a companion.
Anyway, I've got this one girl right now who I'd like to have a "friends with benefits" type relationship with, but since sleeping with her shes been texting me almost nonstop. I dislike texting to begin with so I answer her pretty infrequently, but I am meeting up with her again this week. Do you think its wrong to sleep with her again even though I have zero intentions of dating her? I mean, she seems pretty lonely, but well both be in different parts of the country come next summer. The only reason I don't always feel comfortable telling them straight up is because they take it the wrong way, as if all they mean to me is sex. I'd happily hangout with the girl even if I wasn't getting to bang her, I just dont wanna date her, I move around way too much. What do you guys think?
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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I think tinder is what it is, and those choosing to use it would be wise to know what you describe is a likely outcome. Sure, some people get into deep relationships after meeting on it, but AFAIK, that's not the point. It's a hookup thing. There's plenty of other sites for people looking for something serious. If you use a hammer where a screwdriver is needed the result is not gonna turn out well.
Over and above everything else, I think you should be totally honest and upfront with her. Sounds like she's fallen for you a bit and it would be bad karma all round if you let her continue to do so, whilst sleeping with her, and not telling her that this thing aint gonna eventuate in any kind of comitted relationship. Out of curiosity, do you like her that much? IME, if you thought she was fucking wonderful, you might alter your plans. If she's just 'a good time' right now I can see why you wouldn't. That's why I don't use tinder myself, even though I'm gagging for a fuck (enforced celibacy for 10+ months now) - I know it my heart nothing meaningful is gonna come of it. -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Anonymous #1 |
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I like to think my actions up until this point have dictated my feelings, I explained to her that I just really like meeting new people and making new friendships. I get how this can easily be misinterpreted lol, but I told her straight up that I meet people off the internet all the time when I travel to festivals and new places, with the intension of being friends. And thats the truth, and its honestly whats made tindr successful for me. I dont go into the date for the sex, I go into it to be friends and learn about the person. Whatever comes after that all depends on how the relationship develops
But nah, shes just a good time. Shes super nerdy and I like that about her, I meet way to many girls who are just basic bitches, I actually enjoy hanging out with this girl. Hell the first time I went to hangout with her was just to watch a movie I hadn't seen. But I just dont find myself particularly attracted to her, she can be a little overbearing and I can tell from hanging out with her just once that she can be a bit obsessive. I'm also just in general not looking for a relationship right now. I was in a relationship in the past and it was just a lot, I prefer flying solo for now, more freedom
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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Just bear in mind that she might have deluded herself into not hearing your words clearly, I find humans can do that quite easily when they've fallen for someone. So you may have to be extra clear about it with her, as hard as that might be.
But I think it's great you're making new friends. It's just a shame that our culture kinda frowns upon either not 'settling down' with a partner, or not doing the opposite, being a total player. Just meeting people and having no agenda is fucking wonderful, but not a social norm IME. The middle path is a good one, IMO. -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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I'll probably get the shit beat out of me for bringing astrology into a hookup thread, but what the hell, I'm bored enough to project pretty hard in here right now
Sounds like some Scorpio bullshit Clingy, obsessive, smothering Watch out (She doesn't have to be a Scorpio sun, just have a big influence of that kind somewhere) They don't take things lightly, are deaf to others, and the longer you let it continue, the more complicated it'll be to extract yourself I used to always think that maybe my next one night stand would actually love me I ALWAYS made more out of it than it actually was I'm not a relationship-attracting person (the few I've had were abusive anyway), I'm just the person everybody wants to fuck, so I tried to get my love needs met through the guys who were just using me... Just FYI there are people out there like that...starved for love, will try to squeeze it out of whatever scraps life brings them I had trouble believing it that those guys didn't give a shit about me...like literally somebody could say that to my face and I would've assumed they were joking or flirting
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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You don't wanna end up with one of these on your hands...
"I'll follow you until you love me" She might be trying to turn you into a boyfriend When you cut her off, the obsessive texts will probably get worse, DON'T RESPOND no matter how bad it gets. She's dying inside, you're watching the process, but it'll be over eventually. ~~~RESUME THREAD NORMALCY, apologies for the non-porn visual demonstration~~~ Edited by 100_the_cat (10/26/16 02:25 AM)
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Cat Registered: 11/15/12 Posts: 21,773 |
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You said you're moving by next Summer? I would bring that up with her casually, and if she talks about going with you, say you're not looking for a long term relationship atm.
That's what I would do at least, I've moved a lot and that's an easy way to create distance, just make sure she doesn't get pregnant
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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That might not get through to her though
Let me give you an example of how oblivious a person can be: My last one night stand before I went to ghosts was a guy I met at a club He was a pretty deep dude, so I thought he was relating to me as more than a fuck doll So I thought he wanted to "hang out" because he liked me as a person Nah he just wanted to fuck me That was the fakest sex I ever had in my life The next day I dropped him off at his car in the club parking lot He tried to leave without even EXCHANGING PHONE NUMBERS I held him hostage and made him give it to me Then I texted him and told him to give me his email address or I'd blow up his phone while he was at work Then I sent him over 100 super-deep introspective emails that I bet people would actually pay money to read in a book He responded to ONE, early on But I kept going I thought that it was a matter of me proving to him that I was worth being treated as more than just a fuck doll...like maybe if I could just get him to see that I'm amazing, he could relate to me as a human being. It wasn't HIM in particular that I was obsessed with, he was symbolic of men in general. Idk I just get a similar vibe from what you've said about this girl
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Cat Registered: 11/15/12 Posts: 21,773 |
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You're crazy
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Beginner Hunter Registered: 10/09/16 Posts: 214 Loc: Virginia, USA Last seen: 7 years, 3 months |
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Quote: This is too true including her previous reply. Women by nature seek that deeper touch. Physical is a bonus to the psychological and emotional. If you have vibes with this girl the bond might already be intense and you just don't know how intense it is yet. Tread water carefully because a broken heart has the potential to destro more than just one life. You don't want to create a woman with a black widow heart and mindset out of a misunderstanding. Be honest and forthright with your intentions. Maybe it will be a friendship and maybe you will part ways. Of course she may also just be DTF and hang out at times. Only way to know is with pure brutal honesty it is ALWAYS the best answer. Good luck friend.
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Fucked off to the pub Registered: 12/10/11 Posts: 14,146 |
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Yeah man I always give hookup peeps the same advice. COMMUNICATE and clearly explain your intentions. You should tell a girl from the first that you aren't looking for commitments. And explain it's partly because you move alot. Say from the start you're looking for a friend that you can share a bed with from time to time.
Seriously you might not consciously leading her on but I've seen so many, men and women both, lead the other on by just not saying anything. Or being very vague about what little is said. All good relationships of any sort are set with firm and clearly expressed boundaries. Good luck with your current situation. Might turn out messy, might not. But I'd bet she's likely to at least be a little disappointed. But you never know, she might just want a close friend she can bang too.
-------------------- Free time is the only time
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Waxing Prophetic Registered: 02/22/13 Posts: 2,514 Loc: The Enterprise Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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Quote: That's a tough one, because it seems like you would enjoy a friendship as much as hooking up with her, but you just don't want to mix the two right now because you're moving soon. Since that's the case, I would explain to her that it's one or the other at this point, seeing as when both are involved people tend to become really attached, making goodbyes more painful. It seems like hooking up with her again, after how much she's been texting you or trying to engage with you in any way, would be leading her on. Unless you can have an explicit conversation about it before hand in which you are both fully understood and agree upon what you're looking for, I think that hooking up with her again would only lead to confusion and misfortune.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Yea I do think you are right. At the same time though, I think this girl is so lonely, even if I wasnt hooking up with her she would still be interested in hanging out. I dont wanna bail on her now but I'll just tell her straight up when I see her that I cant be in a relationship. That I tried before but my workload and lifestyle just dont fit it. If that upsets her I'll leave her be.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Ended up texting her and telling her straight up I can't be in a relationship. She gave me a mildly vague response, saying shes not one to rush into things and shes still totally interested in getting to me. I actually do think this girl is lonely and might just be looking for a friend, so I'll treat it as such. Shes definitely a fun to person to watch movies with
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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The fact that she said not rush into things means she sees a relationship forming
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Cat Registered: 11/15/12 Posts: 21,773 |
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I wouldn't worry about this situation all too much, set your boundaries and forget it, when you leave she'll get over it.
If there is one thing I regret, its the relationships I've needlessly passed up so I could continue drifting. You're both better off having what you want today and losing it, than not having it until some unknown time down the line.
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Anonymous #1 |
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Maybe, but she knows my intensions very clearly now, I've openly communicated with her and want to be friends, I dont think theres any harm in trying. If for any reason she finds herself developing feelings for me, shell know that I cant commit, and we can always stop seeing each other
But yea Repertoire, I seriously regret not dating more women earlier on in my life, I passed up so many opportunities. I dont think any of them would have flourished, but they're learning experienced I would have liked to have. Its why I've been more driven to seek out people as of recently.
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Waxing Prophetic Registered: 02/22/13 Posts: 2,514 Loc: The Enterprise Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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It's still pretty vague though, and Hundo_Cat is right, it does seem like she's still looking for a relationship. Edited by Chakra Shock (10/26/16 09:39 PM)
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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Yeah, me and the cat said pretty much the exact same thing. I said:
Just bear in mind that she might have deluded herself into not hearing your words clearly 100thecat said: That might not get through to her though. Let me give you an example of how oblivious a person can be Love, when it gets sparked romantically, really is like a temporary insanity. And being on either side of unrequited (romantic) love is a very messy business indeed. -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Darwin's stagger Registered: 01/05/15 Posts: 10,810 |
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Tell her she means sex AND friendship to you.
Be honest or fuck off I say.
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Fucked off to the pub Registered: 12/10/11 Posts: 14,146 |
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I think you handled it the right way op
-------------------- Free time is the only time
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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So do I, but as a good three people in this thread have mentioned, has she really heard what he said?
Only time will tell I guess, but if I were in OP's shoes I'd be putting the feelers out to make doubly sure the message had sunk in. Us humans are masters at deluding ourselves when the truth is not what we want it to be. -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Fucked off to the pub Registered: 12/10/11 Posts: 14,146 |
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Yeah, lets assume that's the case, is OP going to stop seeing her? Should he stop seeing her? Does she really just want a friend? Will she snap and go batshit when he does leave? What will happen then?
I think if she were clingy enough to go full psycho there would be other (very glaring) signs. And since I haven't read them I have to assume, that while you two might be right, the worst that's going to happen is she's going to get a broken heart and learn a lesson. OP might too. OP has done what he can for now and hopefully that will abade some of his guilt. And if she does get horribly upset when he moves on then she will either continue to delude herself or she will learn. Or she will just think OP is an asshole. None of this really hurts him in the long run. I mean when she does show evidence of being psycho then is time to leave. For now... yeah only time will tell. There's not much else he could or maybe even should do for the time being. -------------------- Free time is the only time
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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I guess it depends on what your idea of psycho is
Some people would think just the obsessive texts are psycho I've been called psycho for much less than that
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Anonymous #1 |
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Haha hey guys so a quick update, when to hangout with her again, got super stoned by accident, didnt end up sleeping with her but we watched a bunch of TV and made out. I think she totally knows my intensions though, just got that vibe from talking to her, she didnt flirt with as me, just felt more casual like friends hanging, but maybe thats because I was super stoned
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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OP just hang out with the lonely girl, be sincere, slap her ass now and then for friendly good vibes, get naked and play when you feel like it, tell her to STOP OVERTHINKING SHIT in advance, as that's teh real problem here.
I've had FWB girls that I kept in awesome contact with, developed deeper connection with over time, even went to see them once they moved long distance, but that all has to be left to its own devices, maybe it happens maybe not, as long as neither of you overthinks it, it should be fun to hang out Quote: Maybe he didn't feel you were equally deep as he was? I know I'm fairly deep on most days, am looking for girls who can connect their deepness with my deepness, but some are simply not fucking there yet. I know THEY (if you ask them) will say oh yes I'm super deep (who doesn't say that of themselves ) but when you interact that extra level just isn't there. The deep stuff goes over their heads unnoticed and unanswered, so I know I'm talking to a banana. Maybe a very pretty one, but banana nonetheless ![]() To me, if that's the case I'll bang a girl a few times, at least to keep in shape, not remain curious what she's like naked, and until something better shows up to play ![]() Quote: So if you felt it, he felt it. If it was crap sex and not fun at all, what's the point of doing it again? Clearly there's no spark and no matching there, no harmony, what other info needs to be passed around here? Why cling to this rigid "polite thing to do" bullshit, like here, take my number as if you'd be interested in calling me so we could prolong this mutual annoyance of each other? Fuck no, I say if you feel it's a dead fish, treat it like a proper dead fish, not like an epic tuna sandwich ![]() Quote: Much good that did you ![]() Quote: Really? I don't believe you. Gather the emails and write the book, we'll see who pays what for that stuff Quote: Rest assured he was bored with you, like bored out of his mind, and you were just reaching at this point. Quote: He was symbolic of how YOU see men in general, or how you saw them at that time. I've done that kind of stuff with girls before, trying to be heard or acknowledged or validated, long after they've zoned out and gone on their way (often to much more boring and predictable characters than myself, but if that's who they felt better resonance with, of course it's a good decision on them to go there) and I just kept projecting my crap on them and making noise about it. Realize that what you say here doesn't logically make sense. Guys who are deep are generally looking for someone deep to connect with, if all they wanted was fuck dolls they can't at the same time be deep guys. Whether or not YOU are compatible with their particular deepness, that's another matter, but just because it doesn't work, no compatibility, doesn't mean the dude is just looking for fuck meat and is some horrible person for it. More fair appraisal of the situation was that from both ends, there wasn't sufficient compatibility there to sustain the interaction for longer than one fuck. If you felt it and let it be as it is, no phone numbers, maybe you would have one day met again and did more together. But forcing matters like the phone numbers and emails, oh man, totally asking for a bad time
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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I didn't want to fuck him again, I just wanted to own his soul
Partly in revenge Dead fish, well that definitely wasn't my style back when I did flesh, but nobody's gonna stop you from projecting your own life experiences onto me He wanted to fuck more than once during that one night stand, I turned him down because by that point, I was already fairly transitioned to ghosts and there wasn't any point in having physical sex. What he was doing just didn't do anything for me, that's why I was so fake. I could tear this guy down to make a point but I think that would be in poor taste, considering he didn't seriously wrong me. By pretty deep I mean he had 4 planets in Scorpio But I've got a monster Saturn-Pluto-Jupiter conjunction on my IC, Jupiter is in Scorpio, and all that is square my moon. I've lived in the flames of hell my entire life. If you don't want to believe what I say, that's your prerogative. You seem to have taken quite a strong interest in attempting to invalidate me.
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Oh man this makes soooo little sense to me
![]() Quote: Aaaand why would he give it to you? The promise of more fake sex? ![]() Quote: I don't know what you understood and how you read this, but I was talking of the interaction, the vibe between you two. You said the most fake sex in your life. So (to you and the guy) it must have felt off. Fake. Not genuine. Being there in body but not in heart. Dead fish. Like the feeling one gives you when they come to shake your hand because they have to, but they don't wanna. They extend that dead fish of a hand, all limp. Most people don't want to deal with that kind of disconnected crap for too long. Why would he? For that matter why would you? I understand you wanted to keep things going out of revenge, can totally relate, but why would he? For whatever reason, as far as he's concerned, to his perception of that night, you've demonstrated that 1. You're a bad lay and 2. You don't even want to try again, to maybe make things work better. Bad pizza and no, you can't even get another slice, go away. Gee, sounds like fun, must leave phone number and come to eat here again ![]() Quote: So then what was the point of the forced phone number and 100 emails? To get him to do more stuff that doesn't do anything for you, so that you can be fake some more in return? Maybe it's me, but I just don't see how the dots connect here ![]() Quote: Oh man, this bit made my day. Am laughing ever since I read it. I thought by "pretty deep" you meant you had a chat with him and found his opinions and style of thinking to be deep, having some good knowledge of himself, life, his own emotions and so forth, being a mature, well developed individual, mentally and emotionally. If being deep for you means he had 4 planets in Scorpio, things are starting to make sense now ![]() You do know he has 4 planets in Scorpio all his life, right? Meaning both when he's at his best and right after being dumped, when he may make a shitty partner to play with? Meaning at his best he may actually be deep, and after dumping he might be on drugs and shallow as fuck, but still have the same 4 planets in Scorpio, whatever that means? There's something about over-reliance on zodiac signs that I just find bewildering, impossible to relate with. I mean I can change my neurology, body fat index, I can grow more or less beard, learn more jokes or stand-up comedy and be more funny for a while, the actual FEEL or vibe that I give off, that's flexible over time. The birth date however, that's fixed. If I meet an otherwise interesting girl but that's hooked on star signs, my date of birth ain't going anywhere, it's set in stone. I could be in idiot mode and she won't notice it if she thinks our birth dates should work in theory, or I could be in awesome mode and well compatible with her, but book says otherwise, that we shouldn't be a good match because she needs some other planets in some other thing. If she trusts her book over the actual feel of the interaction at that here-and-now moment, I am basically fucked, as she's by definition unresponsive to the real genuine situation of that evening, but in her head, responding to what she thinks a guy born on that date should be like. Quote: Yeah so have I, see my avatar ![]() Quote: I am busting your balls a little bit, your posts are full of fresh things that give me a good laugh, and so why not explore it? Sorry for the thread derail everybody, moving on from planets and back to OP not being a dick, hope things go smooth and chill with the nerd girl
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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"I thought by "pretty deep" you meant you had a chat with him and found his opinions and style of thinking to be deep, having some good knowledge of himself, life, his own emotions and so forth, being a mature, well developed individual, mentally and emotionally."
Yep, that's exactly what the result of having 4 planets in Scorpio is. I was merely summarizing all of that with a symbol. Much quicker to communicate that way. I think you're missing something crucial, if you can't see what my point was. Or you're just trolling for the hell of it. Either way, you're giving me an opportunity to talk about myself, which is something I don't turn down, at least not until I've milked it for all it's worth.
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Quote: To people who speak planets. I don't. Most people I know don't. If I tell them they have 4 planets in Scorpio they wouldn't know whether to say thanks or punch me in the face for calling them stupid and unreliable and shallow. Two parts to signal transmission. Sending and receiving. If you send your message in Chinese because it's super simple and quick for you, that's all fine, but only if who you're talking to actually speaks Chinese. Else it's impossible to decode accurately, meaning gets all twisted. Anyway, I do believe we've exchanged enough messages for a long long time, was fun laughing at the depths of your planets
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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I just want to clarify
By dead fish I meant a girl who just lays there in bed during sex By saying that wasn't my style, I was saying that I used to really go out of my way to put on a good porno-style act I really put a lot of effort into making the physical sex thing work Back when I was trying to force it to work, and going all-out, sometimes people told me things like having sex with me was like being in a porno (to the kind of guys I was with, that was a good thing) and they'd never been more sexually fulfilled. But for me it was pure agony actually doing that stuff. Great lay for them, horrible for me. I guess by the time I got to this last guy, there wasn't any steam left. By fakest sex ever I mean that I couldn't even get into the act anymore. I couldn't put all the flourishes on it. I guess I was thinking that he would still see some value in me. For something beyond sex, or at least sex in its crude, literal form. It's that whole thing of, "If you're not putting out, what do you have to offer?" And that seems to be the notion you were seeking to reinforce, which didn't sit well with me at all. The whole of what you said to me in both threads was extremely offensive to me, I don't know how you could see that as a mating dance or whatever the hell you were saying about birds in the other thread. I feel like you really went out of your way to insult me at every turn. I don't know who would consider it a turn on to be laughed at like that. So I have to assume the whole thing was a trollfest. Just another day in Pluto transitville
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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But the good thing about interactions like this is it gives me an incentive to get further and further away from the idea of being with an actual person, relationship-wise (not sex, that is definitely non-physical for me)
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Well, you're replying more to the interpretations in your head than to my actual words, but if we're still playing let's play, why not
Quote: I don't know the guy, so I'm telling you my own perspective on this. I don't need a girl to put out before she wants to. I assume no "deep" guy wants this, whereas more shallow guys focused on the surface of things, actually would. For me, were I in that situation, I'd take a nice naked sincere conversation, or some chill massage, way before some forced rushed "heart not into it" shallow sex. It doesn't matter if you did the mechanics of sex or not, what matters (to me, and as I said, IMO to most quality dudes out there) is WERE YOU SINCERE? To which if you look back, there should be a pretty thick NO staring you in the face. If you're feeling that you can't even get into the act anymore, then that's perfect timing to see what you DO want to get into. Give the dude a nice proper massage. A strip. Cook. Get the whips and belts out let's do some nice lashes on the back, to wake up from the boredom and drudgery of work at the office. Even the Bible speaks of this, "Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might", not to mention Yoda, who sayeth do or not do, there is no trying ![]() Quote: Well did you SHOW HIM something else to see? I'm not sure if this actually registers with you. In all life interactions you are to express yourself as you are. One guy you'll like to bang, another to sing or cook for, sit naked for a painting, whatever it is. The point is, were you expressing sincerely what you felt like doing, or were you doing what you thought in your head the guy would like, so that he would then like you? Quote: I'm a bird. I sing and dance, that's what I do. Not always mating dance, sometimes I just do it cause it's fun to play
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Quote: Use it as you wish, I'm seeing what's going on in your head and how you do it, how you play with yourself basically, and it's extremely funny to me to see ![]() I suspect you have a ton of blind spots between you and yourself, and as a fairly experienced bird, having danced with a large number of partners and being accused of a great number of things (most of which I didn't do), this one aspect I've learned to thoroughly enjoy. The blind spots of others, when I come to help and provide clarity and be a nice magical mirror, but am sent away because it's assumed I'm the bad guy. Fine, push away, the amusement level over here rises by the minute
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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Two fundamentally different approaches here
I'm not a physical person. I don't navigate life via my 5 senses. I perceive primarily through my intuition (which includes my energy body). Giving massages, cooking, stripping, physical sex, and certainly physical BDSM (even if I'm the one doing it) are suffering for me because it forces me out of my intuition and into physical perception So really I have nothing to offer, physically, unless I put myself in a state of ill health (which I'm not willing to do for other people anymore) I say, you stick to girls who are naturally oriented to the 5 senses, and I'll stick to ghosts
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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My world is a nightmare for you
Your world is a nightmare for me I was forced to live in your world, now I have a desire to impose mine on others My guess is that you've experienced something similar, but inverted
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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I think we've derailed this thread enough with our stuff, taking it elsewhere.
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ChemChaplin Registered: 09/24/08 Posts: 7,659 Last seen: 4 years, 14 days |
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Quote: I hate my generation for this reason. Nobody gives a fuck about anyone. The emergence of fuck buddies was the end of western civilization, as much as I hate to admit it. Everyone just fucks around until they get bored or realize they're a burned out whore and time is ticking, men and women alike -------------------- A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Anonymous #1 |
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The lack communication amongst our generation is fucking terrible, nobody is straight with anyone and that really pisses me off. Its like a big game of social ques and norms, its legitimately viewed as strange or bizarre to be openly honest and straightforward within an individual nowadays.
I disagree with you about fuck buddies though. People are legitimately designed to want to fuck other people. I can't tell you how many times I've contemplated what my life would be like if I could some how turn off my sex drive. I'm very conscious of the fact that my yearning for sex is extremely primal, and that regardless of how hard I try to ignore it, its something that drives me towards women. Theoretically, it can extremely helpful to have two people who are both conscious of this fact, and they're willing to be intimate while not entering a committed relationship because they realize that the only thing that would keep that relationship afloat is the mutual desire for sex. I've got a lot going on in my life right now and I'm not interested in being in a relationship and what comes with that. But, that doesn't change the fact that I still find sex incredibly therapeutic and I strongly desire. And I know I'm not the only one who feels this way, which is why a FOB relationship is very appealing to me. Especially if I actually enjoy casually hanging out with the girl. I think the only issue, albeit a big one, is that someone tends to develop feelings, which can easily create a lot of negative feelings if the person becomes overly attached and cant have what they want. Which is why communication is important. Since being honest with this girl about my intentions, shes hasnt really texted me at all, and I haven't been texting her. But, I wouldn't be surprised if she hits me up next week to hangout, and I'd be totally cool with that. And its not like I'll walk in there and walk out cause its still fun to just kick it with her for a night. If she doesnt, no hard feelings on my part, I understand then it might not have been what she was looking for
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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I think it also needs to be said that your childish demand for "proof" over something as fucking trivial as me writing over 100 emails says that you live a very uneventful, insignificant life where you accomplish absolutely NOTHING
I mean, if I'd made some extraordinary claim, like I'm a billionaire, I have 5 private jets, and I invented a cure for cancer, then yeah that's the kind of thing where some proof would make sense Whenever somebody does that "show me proof" shit, or automatically thinks everybody is making stuff up, that tells me they've lived a very boring life and/or are a monumental liar themselves My last boyfriend (the one I spent 3 years being obsessed with killing after I dumped) was like that It REALLY doesn't go over well with me I know all about how monumental liars act because my mom is one Funny how nicely this dovetails with you projecting "not speaking the truth" onto me in the other thread Edited by 100_the_cat (10/31/16 01:04 AM)
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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Quote: LOL, I got a taste of your generation when I went raving for the first time in years this weekend. I really saw the difference, as someone that started raving back in 99, at the end of the PLUR era and has been off the scene for years. Trying to talk to people at a rave these days is received almost as if you're whipping you cock out and pissing in the middle of the crowd of people you're trying to talk to. Seeing men put so much effort into their appearance too was a bit of a slap in the face to me; that's the antithesis of manliness in my eyes. I had figured the lack of desire or effort to communicate with strangers was much a London thing, but perhaps it's more a western cultural thing for generations born in the 90's onwards? There's a certain ignorance that seems to come attached - just because I was making an effort to communicate people looked at me like I was a bit mentally deranged or some kind of emotional retard. I share the same feelings about the emergence of the hookup trend. It's polluting the beauty that arises from deep and meaningful relationships between humans. Our 'throw away' culture was bad enough when it was just in regards to things. The fact that it has now spread to relationships the way it has leaves me very sad for the people in the midst of it. Superficiality has come to reign supreme - something which I can't stand to be around. I'm hoping that, away from the cities, hopefully this trend will not be as rife as it is in them. I'll soon find out. -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Waxing Prophetic Registered: 02/22/13 Posts: 2,514 Loc: The Enterprise Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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Yeah it's quite intense, especially for people who are at the same stage, or age, in life as all of those superficial humdingers. My friends and I are quite aware of superficiality as being a legitimate and pressing issue in the world today,
we're doing our best to bring depth into our own lives, but when you go out in public it's impossible to break through to people who aren't already on that wavelength. Even meeting someone who can talk at length about deep, meaningful topics, form a powerful emotional connection in a night, and fit the perfect model of someone who could establish a meaningful friendship, I'm at risk of coming face to face with the ramifications of hook-up culture. She just drops off the face of the world the next day, ignoring me for weeks, and making any kind of attempt to contact her is perceived as "lame", just because, from the perspective of someone only interested in sex, I should be emotionally callous enough to not even care. It's a crazy world nowadays
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Quote: Have you considered that at least some of those may have alternative reasons for avoiding talking? I mean I've never been to raves nor would I ever go, the BPM is too high for me there, but at psytrance fests I've noticed that talking to people while they're on acid is a very hit-and-miss activity, and so I quickly learned to use other forms of communication. Juggling, eye contact, dance, anything BUT talking. Furthermore when I'm in that state (outdoor tripping) I will avoid talkers like the fucking plague. Singing is OK, but not melody-less talking, because well, I'm a bird or some kind of animal, I need to see your animal play, not hear your human head go bla-bla. I've had plenty of that already, that's what I'm taking break from. Not trying to offend or anything, this is my genuine approach out at festivals and I do see it work. I genuinely consider talking, verbalizing too early, fast, or without other forms of prior contact, as being rude, breaking the spall, disrupting the magic, especially if it's some question that requires me to verbalize back (can't be answered with body language alone). I see or hear group of talkers, in the human talking mindset, I will just stay away, or maybe lure them out of it (howl, dance, hypnotize them in some way) ![]() Am saying that some (probably most) people there may not be on this trip I'm talking about here, but some may well be, especially if on shrooms or acid. Quote: Jesus Lord man, that's blasphemy of the highest order As birds, all we have is our dance, songs and feathers, the colors. Appearance goes to colors, feathers. Look at any bird species and you'll see males take exquisite care of their plumage, as well as of course dance and songs, they must be well correlated and coherent and in the flow. Well timed. These are precisely the kinds of signals that break down under use of alcohol, cigs or other mind-numbing molecules, thus signaling to females "here's a dude that's neglectful with themselves." Equally self-neglectful beings know to come closer, more harmonized ones know to stay away. That's why you have trippers with the trippers, drunks with the drunks, smokers with the smokers. Maybe rave dudes do some stuff that they don't have at psytrance festivals, I wouldn't know about that, but the more I've been the more I understood why a guy would have body paint on, more intricated decorated clothes, pants, some nice fun colorful toys, etc. I myself juggle LED balls and blow soap bubbles to spread some good vibes around, I don't have other weird stuff yet, but that's just because I'm on a budget. How can you say that spending time on own appearance is un-manly? Amazing.
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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Quote: Because you and I are very clearly from different times and places in this world. You can try and philosophise away my last post all you like, but you're just banging your head against a brick wall (and looking a bit silly in the process, if I'm honest) trying to dissect a phenomenon you've never laid eyes on yourself. I'm a big festival goer too, and I tell you now you're talking about environments which are literally the polar opposite of one another, aside of the fact they both play lots of loud music. The attitudes of the people who attend them are therefore very different. As for your comparison between human and avian males, I have been down this path of thought many times already in an attempt to understand why this aspect of being a male has changed so much in the years I've been aware of it. When I was younger, the guy who got the best looking woman was not the best looking man. He didn't pluck and groom and wear brightly coloured and well tailored expensive clothing. He was the hard cunt; the one who had made his way to the top of the social ladder by fighting any other male in his vicinity that threatened him or his position. It looked like the human equivalent of this: (skip to 1:10 if you wanna get straight to the action) It was just the norm for me from the age of about 10 onwards. I once held the dominant position in my environment in my youth, and by rights I had the best woman available, until my parents moved me to a different country where I found I was unable to take the dominant position from the guy that held it. He and I eventually became friends, but I couldn't get the attention of the girl I wanted there because he had it. Whilst I didn't understand the underlying dynamics I was facing at the time, in hindsight it all makes sense. Now bear in mind this was at a time when there was no internet, no mobile phones, and away from major cities. Fashion was not even on the radar for us. It is my belief that fighting to establish dominance is how the human male operates by default; if one observes a chimp society the same dynamic holds true. And seeing as they are our closest relatives I think it safe to assume that without outside influence, this is how we are wired to operate. However what we have now is a changing dynamic, in which males compete for the best females not by being the strongest, and thus by fighting to establish dominance. To me, now days, it all looks far more like a show of either attractiveness, something akin to the human equivalent of this: Or a show of wealth, something akin to the human equivalent of this: I feel it's all a bit superficial and trashy, and I feel it's getting steadily worse. The massive volume of men packed into gyms these days is not because they want to attain strength and fitness so that they can fight to the top - it's so they can 'peacock' in front of females in the hope of being chosen. The gym has been a part of my life for over 15 years, so I know whereof I speak. When I was younger, you hardly ever saw a guy with muscles outside of a TV where I live. Now days you can't walk down the street without seeing one. There was no supplement market (which is now worth billions) and no advertising shoved in your face which subliminally told you that 'this is how you need to look to get the chicks'. So we just did what was natural. However in this age of global connectedness, trends are spread worldwide, and strengthened by their prevality. It's essentially the same process that women went through in the 1920's, when cinema first started to spread. Because beautiful actresses started to be seen worldwide, women have tried (or perhaps been forced) to match their looks to meet that standard of attractiveness if they want to attract the best males. Now this trend has caught up for men, who must also match the ideal set for attractiveness to get the best females. I was starkly reminded of this fact recently talking to a 15yr old boy one of my best friends is fostering. He was commenting on my muscles, and told me how he really wants a six pack. So I said 'what about being fit and strong though?' - no, he just wanted a six pack. So I said, didn't he want to have muscles all over? - nope, just that six pack. It make me cry a little inside for the state of human affairs right now. I mean I get why we don't fight so much. It's very frowned upon, and there are legal implications, and we also live in an age where some people just wont stop, even when the fight is clearly over. There are also others who will seek revenge, and others who will cheat by using knives etc. But when, and where I grew up, fighting was just a thing you did, and like the animals above there was no ego involved, for the most part. That all changed for me when some cunt nearly gave me brain damage by running at me from behind, sucker punching me in the base of the skull, and then going to town on my head like it was a football, even though I was out cold the moment I hit the floor. What's even more worrying is people stood by and watched it happen without trying to stop him. I've never been bothered about losing a fight or getting beaten up, but that man broke something that hurt me more than any bone that day - my heart. He took away my belief that two men could fight with honour, and showed me the world I was now living in, and sowed the seeds that have grown the roots of misanthropy into my heart and soul. A very different world indeed... A world that is changing at a steadily increasing rate, and in such an unhealthy way, spurred by the advances in technology, and in turn we are becoming more and more superficial in our ways. We're more connected than ever, but further from each other emotionally and spiritually than ever. Now days it is the norm to only show the world the parts of yourself you want to show, and it is easy to hide the rest. You convey your status through your appearance, and through the same process that caused the birds of paradise to become more and more brightly coloured over time, we are also becoming more and more showy over time. I don't like it one bit, as superficiality is something I despise. It's a big part of the reason I'll be fucking off to Australia next year to go and live in the middle of nowhere as a farmer, communing with nature and therefore god. I want to be as far from society as I can. I've seen the direction the mainstream is heading in, and it's essentially moving in a direction which is taking us further and further from achieving our potential. We're sacrificing spiritual, physical and emotional health in exchange for material and superficial gain, gorging ourselves on frivolous pursuits, just like society is programming us to, and no one seems to notice that in the process we're losing connection with our souls, the souls of others, and god (whatever form you imagine him in) in the meantime. I want no part in it. Frankly, the whole state of affairs both sickens and frightens me. I'm sickened by what's becoming the norm, and frightened that so few people are waking up and realising that our society is sick, and that we're in a viscious circle where our society is making us sick: It's no measure of good health to be well adjusted to a sick society. --Jiddu Krishnamurti And yet so many people strive to just fit in. Truly, herd mentality at its finest, gently assisted by TPTB. -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Oh man, the plot is thickening quite a bit, and I do like what I'm seeing
![]() Quote: Has nothing to do with it. At all. Zero. Nada. I'm here practicing magnetic attraction and repulsion games that have been going on since the fucking reptiles, all the way through birds, mammals of all sorts (including the head-bangers you posted above) and am very much aware of how pecking order works, or how a wolf pack hierarchy works, how the alpha gets to pick and mate. These are universal, started long before we got down from the trees and will stay with us long after we spread to outer space. What I am seeing you do there is fail to see how bird dances are PRECISELY the same game as banging heads together to see who's left standing. Same exact thing, expressed in a somewhat different way. In no way is one more manly than the other. We are ALL playing a game, a competition, of who can get center stage. If you've got the brawn you can just play that direct, fight one on one and see who's left standing. Since you value brawn yourself, of course you'll consider that one form of competition to be more "fair" than others, as it favors you. But it's really not. It's just what you may like to play. Plenty of other methods available. What the mating game actually runs on is dominant SIGNALS in general, in the head you're trying to impress. I've taken females from guys bigger and more brutish than myself, where arguably I probably would have lost a fight if it came to brawn, but here's the thing, I won those games on being dominant in arenas where the guy didn't even know we were playing. Things like creativity, perception, attention, reading and sending subtle clues, working empathically with the subconscious. Sending accurate signals that the girl could be wow'ed by, but ALL completely under his radar. The guy was RIGHT THERE when I took his woman, right there at the fucking table with him, and where he trained for brawn and financial prowess, I trained for extremely sharp senses, metaphor, poetry, artistic fantastic imaginative storytelling. WE WERE banging heads together all along, just on strength of neurology, complexity, clarity of signal. He was losing every single bang, and not even notice he was doing it. You snooze you lose ![]() Where he spoke of horsepower in the engine of his motor boat (basically, loud signal, impressing through quantity) I spoke of magic, stars, moon and unicorns. And he had 200 hp boat engine, biggest around the table, everybody else had less than half, whereas I have no boat at all, I just have amazing ideas in my head, and 1 unicorn power. To a woman that needs to find magic again, it's not about "how many horses" at all, it's an imagination game. If everyone comes in on horses and I come on a unicorn, that's it, game set and match, attention and heart are mine, as I brought a bazooka to a knife fight ![]() Quote: This kind of stuff is what I pick up on. It speaks to me of a certain kind of neurology, pent up aggression, perhaps a bit of alcohol here and there, perhaps some smoking in your past, whatever it is, I know you've been cutting some corners on what you take in, and in shows in what you express. You can't hide what you have inside, in your neurology. We were being pretty friendly here, communicating about ideas, rather intellectually. How do you just diss a bird's appearance like that, straight up, directly, get aggressive for no reason? Oh man, I see what you're doing, am having quite a few doubts that you yourself see it, what deeper processes are at play here ![]() Quote: This last part, THIS is the real game being played. Who can get the attention. Has little to do with brawn (though it can be that). Has to do with are you fascinating? Are you a joy to look at, are you thriving in that environment? Have you found your niche where you are king, and feel like a king, and doing that magic you're the most attractive there? YOu obviously found it in one place, found one niche and way to do it, then when moved to another context when that strategy didn't work, you didn't find a new one there. Guaranteed you could have beaten that guy at SOMETHING, be it drawing, music, humor, whatever it is, there are SO MANY ways to get attention, to draw a female in. Unless of course you get stuck in one game, at which you're not the best at, there's someone better. If you persist on staying in that game then yes, you feel Beta, and signal that, and of course the female likes the alpha, as he thrives, completely relaxed, it's his yard ![]() It's all on you, whether you accept what the crew says is OK to use. For instance if all the kids on the street call you a fag for drawing or juggling or playing violin, do you still do it? Do you tell everybody to go fuck themselves as you trust your own heart, or do you give in and accept the pressure from outside? Most others will try to restrict the game to methods they know and are good at. But the mating game is made in such a way that you can ALWAYS find attentional back doors if you look for them. So in any case, what I am getting is that you have a very strict, rigid definition of what "manly" is to you, direct confrontation and some sort of physical competition, whereas in fact I see the mating game as a matter of timing, distance, signal, context, signal-to-noise ratio, interference and so on. Look at Sun Tzu's The Art of War, you will see he speaks a ton about what to do and how to play it, if you're outgunned. Head to head combat is a good strategy sometimes, but woe on the unimaginative fool who has no rich choice of alternative methods, for when that isn't an option. Quote: We fight all the time dude, we fight for attention, memory and so on. From advertising to mate selection, all we do is try to impress signals on this reality and generally the strongest most relevant-to-context signal resonates and wins. We also fight physically, a few days ago I saw some teenagers in a group, one of them was their Alpha, the guy that knew martial arts and showed it off to all the others. I could see him, I felt we'd probably do something, and I assumed it'l bee some conversation, me busting their balls a little bit. I meditated (Evening, park) then heard some nice group of females. I started doing my thing (juggling LED balls) minding my own business, playing the distances with the group of females, and as is so common for attentionally outmatched males, they came to distract and interrupt, where they couldn't outdo. I just avoided (turned back, gave no verbal answer) and made a fool of one of them by just keeping distance giving no eye contact. In less than a minute he was begging for some form of validation, whereas I just laughed at him, for everyone there to hear. Then the martial arts guy showed up, I gave him the same treatment. He verbally suggested that they'll touch my stuff (backpack, jacked, placed down so I can juggle) to which I just made an agressive step towards them, and they both jumped back. I was at all times several chess moves ahead of them, so to speak, as the distance game is what I do, in most situations. Martial arts dude stepped towards me, I stepped back, he showed off a few moves in the air, and at the proper time I just pushed him. One shove. He stumbled, stepped weird, fucked up his ankle, then started whining and bitching. All evening he showed off roundhouse kicks, how to kick high to the head, how to hold up a guard, showing off all manner of stuff (and receiving the validation of his mates for it) and then he picked a distance game with an actual bird, got his ass very swiftly handed to him. That to me is the real game, and I'm not alone here. Observe: That last part, I respect both dudes, one as an excellent showman, very artistic and poetic, the other as an excellent fighter, great timing and focus. I think the shoman didn't get the point, he lost fight as he was unaware of the context, rules, and most importantly didn't fully read the state and potential of the fighter guy. Lost fight as he was in his own head, having misread the actual threat level before him. Oh well, that's how we learn ![]() I play many games dude, as do we all. I play reptile, bird and wolf a lot. What you speak of, direct confrontation, that's reptile / wolf game. It's just that if I meet another who can do that better than me, I have plenty of bird moves still to play, and they're generally quite hard to counter in this society, where most humans' bird game is fucked, rudimentary, under-trained, they just don't get it
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Humble Student Registered: 11/30/11 Posts: 26,088 Loc: Deep in the syst |
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Wow man, you're a sharp motherfucker. Too bad the vast majority of people our in society don't show the kind of self-awareness you do, else I wouldn't feel the need to bail the fuck out of it and go and live alone (well, my cousin & I) and learn to live in harmony with nature, sacrificing the wealth of human interaction I can find here.
I feel such a strong pull there - life has made it abundantly clear to me that I am not supposed to settle or remain where I currently am, and as far as I can gather by 'keeping my ear to the ground' I feel that the location I'm heading is the right one. My only misgiving is that I'm gonna have to sacrifice my favourite thing in the world thus far - deep connection with many humans, at many different times throughout my day. I hope you stick around the community for a long time to come man, I feel very strongly I will, so it would be interesting comparing notes, cause I figure we seek the same thing: connection. I'm a bit of a dinosaur/steamroller compared your advanced and subtle understanding of bringing it about, but where I do I am consistently amazed by the results. Thing is, right now my calling is all about connection with self, and it's a fucking challenging path. Certainly not something that is promoted in the slightest in the current cultural model. Not for the feint hearted either. But in the steps I have so far taken down that path, I have found that as connection with self grows deeper, the connection with all others, with nature, with 'god' grows exponentially. A semi-monastic kinda life is what I'm heading out for, but as it approaches closer and closer to the time when I go and commit myself to it, that little voice that hides in us all pops up and nags me - the voice of fear. Not that that's gonna stop me, I'm pretty good at handling that particular voice. I think it just leaves some lingering doubt in its wake - 'how could you possibly get better at connecting with humans by taking yourself off to live far away from humans?' You know what I mean? When your gut says one thing, in your heart you know it to be true, even if in your heart you also know it will be painful, but then your mind tries to argue the opposite... How many years have you been on the path of learning you describe above? -------------------- Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not. --Jac O'keeffe
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Registered: 09/27/16 Posts: 315 |
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I think this whole bird game thing is extremely repulsive
And FYI so far this guy has failed MISERABLY with me, I'm only talking to him because I am DETERMINED to get him into a beta position to me to teach him a lesson Any man who pulls that alpha shit (especially if he's trying to dominate me) just puts me in destroy mode MOD EDIT: No flaming please. Edited by Jokeshopbeard (11/01/16 04:37 PM)
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Quote: ![]() I've "failed" with you? ![]() Seems to me I'm at the 100% center of your attention in that post, bitch about me all you want, but you showed up here to make a post talking about me me me. If some other dude on here was more interesting to you right now, you'd be talking about him him him ![]() Am glad you showed, you're literally proving my point for me, so perfect timing ![]() Quote: Bring it ![]() Anyway I'm not even interested in you when you're like this, I like girls who are more subtle and perceptive. You keep assuming I'm here to dominate some stuff, when I told you repeatedly I'm just here to play, spread good vibes ![]() Quote: Well you've sworn off men altogether and switching to ghosts instead, of course you'd say that, that's your male-related issues talking, has nothing to do with me. Anyway no need to be so impatient, I know you missed me, I'll get to your thread as soon as I'm done talking to my mate Jokeshopbeard here, please wait your turn
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Stranger Registered: 10/23/16 Posts: 146 Last seen: 7 years, 2 months |
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Quote: Many thanks mate, very much appreciated. People who stop to notice are few and far between ![]() Quote: Dude I put in quite some work to get to the self-awareness thing, it took mucho tripping, and just following what the shroom and Aya said. They said go learn to meditate (as in, meditation retreat, 10 hours a day for 10 days, and no talking touching looking anybody in the eye for that time, did two of those so far) and from that point meditation and deep self-observation "has you", as in, once you get to some Siddhis, weird abilities that others don't have, then it just builds on itself. My read on your current situation is that you're on PRECISELY that same path, that you now feel the noise of the urban dwellers is getting to you, interfering, can't feel your feelings hear your thoughts, and so you need a proper exit from it. I totally encourage you to do that, for whatever period you feel is good for you, I mean just as you feel like doing this break from civilization now, in the same way you will one day feel a strong unmistakable pull to return, to then bring back into the tribe the realizations you've gathered in the wild. To show others how there's ways to live and things to consider beyond their basic immediate perception. I'm on this same journey, and I think it's THE journey for any seeker, spend some time in the tribe, some in the wild, bringing insights and energies from one place to another. I've learned to just go with the flow, just show up where I feel like showing, and as you can see this meeting here for instance, was totally meant to happen, as you were needing this specific type of info, to know that yes, that wilderness retreat isn't for nothing, it's on a larger path and it is leading someplace awesome. Quote: I hope so too, just keep in mind I have a way of getting kicked out of places Can't tell you how many Facebook groups and interactions and forums I've been kicked out of, because some people get crazy if you just speak direct to them, not conforming to the cultural indoctrination, politeness and sugar coating, validating every kind of woe-is-me victim story they've got going on. Quote: Just go out there, keep far away from cigs and alcohol, trip if you can, observe yourself as you go through those wilderness activities. If you don't have some practice with breathing eyes closed for longer periods of time, I highly recommend it. Buddha said this stuff, sit with back to a tree, close eyes and follow your breath, and everything will become clear. I've put in a couple of years of this (under two years now) and it does work. It just widens perception a lot like shrooms do, you take in more, see what others don't, then you get clear connection to intuition and can receive your own personalized techniques from then on. No books or teachers required, unless you intuitively feel drawn to them. The fact that you feel a calling for that place and things lined up for you to go, know that it's what needs to happen in this episode, this is your journey, and when you come back to the city noise you'll come back a lot lighter, stronger, more acute perception about self and others, it's crazy what awaits out there, at the super low price of just showing up to get it. The main thing I can say is trust that inner gut feeling you have, trust it over any expert, doctor, priest, master, peer pressure, anything. That thing in your chest / solar plexus always calls you true, to whatever places or people you need to have in your story, for the most fun awesome things to happen. Just keep asking yourself, where's the awesome today? What's the most fun stuff to do here? Just stick with the fun and fascination all the time, it will teach you everything you need to know, and with the perfect timing of when to do it. Quote: Look on the flip side, once you've felt the calling it's impossible to ignore it, you're miserable every day that you do. Really look at this. Can you really take the blue pill and go back to "business as usual" as I'm sure many city dwellers do? From what I read in your posts you've seen beyond the fish tank, you've had your glimpses, and now it's like an itch you have to scratch, what else is out there, what else are you missing, every day that you're engaged in the common stuff everyone else does? Sounds to me like you also know the answer, you're missing A LOT, else you wouldn't go So just see this aspect, that once you've seen the glimpses, it's hard NOT to follow the path, to try and make like it's not there. I see it in myself, I'll start drawing tits and vaginas, before I know it I'm back to EM fields around the head, electric transfers through fingers, figuring out my internal symbols, messages from the Kundalini serpent and so on. Once you've seen the enlarged perspective, even the vulgar aspects of life will remind you of it. When you for instance say you're a dinosaur, that's reptile talk, inner animal, Kundalini serpent talking. So I know that you're called to what I've been called, which is some form of Kundalini awakening. You may consciously believe in these concepts or not, that's fine, I just know that if you're drawn to the wild like this, there are forces inside you that are ripening and ready to burst out. So there's not much for you to do except observe this amazing process, that as you've recognized culture doesn't speak that much about, and in fact tries to prevent with constant distraction. Quote: Well this is more complex, in the sense that we do live in an informational jungle, a lot of noise and getting noisier each year with more technology, but this is just on the surface of things. The enlightenment game is very robust and pretty much impervious to human attempts at tempering with it or smothering it in advertising or distractions. You can get lost in porn food gambling corporate career for a while, but the moment you cross paths with someone that has transcended this stuff, as soon as you pass through their boosted EM field or make some of that "out there" eye contact, that's it. You're a goner. All the corporate digital stuff fails to satisfy, and so you're now looking to find in yourself what that other being have found inside themselves. So there's this everlasting game of knowing shit from Shinola, as Terence called it, of reconnecting to the true divine versus getting lost in the cheap trivial minutia, smoking drinking gathering material possessions or status in the monkey hierarchy. The technological noise, the techno-jungle, that is simply an updated, next-level version of the normal biological jungle. The task is the same. Find yourself and find the others. Can you learn to do it in the middle of zombified self-distracting consumers? Can you do it online over mere text and pixels? As you can see, very much YES in both cases, as strong signals that come from the Self can be encoded in any medium and still carry over well. That whole bit about Maya, the world of distractions and illusions, that's precisely what goes on here. Bunch of humans that forgot the old ways, and are now lost in an out of control cycle of mining stuff to make plastic toys to make profit in this flimsy currency they have among each other, and for that retarded game they sacrifice connection to self, nature and deep tribal connection to others. But for you personally, that's not of too much relevance. The direct question to you is can you focus? Can you breathe in peace? Can you take your brain from 5th gear to 1st and just chill if and when you want to? That is the real wealth, the kingdom of heaven, from which then the external one can flow. As a species we're coming out of this ignorance, and if you feel drawn away from the city, know you've got some epic adventures of awakening lined up ahead of you. People told me this stuff as well (meditation master on first retreat) and I didn't think much of it, but then I saw them happening, people and fellow seekers showing up and was like at how deep it all goes. ![]() Quote: I know what you mean, and there's a couple of answers here. First, you get better at connecting by going away, precisely in the same way as you get better at working, by making sure you get a good night's sleep. You WILL be way better at doing the work tomorrow, after you go away, rest then approach it with fresh forces and vigor. Second answer and more technical is that in most urban humans, that part of their brain that follows breath and interprets emotions based on breath patterns, that's just untrained, underdeveloped, rudimentary. Kind of like we can all read and write, but if you never take that year to learn it, you're illiterate. What you are doing by retreating, giving yourself place to observe, is taking time and training, growing, parts of your neurology that are dormant and neglected in most people, although they are required for thriving. Quote: Yes so this is the precise process that also goes on in meditation. YOu force the mind to finally be still and analyze, and immediately it begins to bitch and whine and make scenarios. But why do this? What's the point? This can't work. This is useless. Look at Joey and Jimmy, they don't do this, why do you? On and on it goes, attempting to break your practice, to get back into the Maya rat race, chasing for external signals, avoiding the internals ![]() Pay it no mind. You pack your bags, breathe your breaths, do your thing and go there, give it a good couple of months and learn what there is to learn there, and then it'll make perfect sense why that was needed. I can tell you that once you clean your senses in this way, when you do get back to the city, you'll notice others like you (and they'll notice you as well, kind of like trippers sense each other to be tripping, but everyone else has little clue of it) and you'll notice when other mainstream people have this deep longing to get out of it and you'll be able to act as guide for them along the way. Don't get fooled by the shiny technology mate, the actual process here is the same stuff we've been doing for millennia, the journey of self-discovery, the going away from the tribe, finding the deep internal power and treasure, then bringing it back to uplift the others with that knowledge. Magic and primal forces are as strong as ever, it just requires a different set of eyes to see them clearly. If you're going to Australia you'll most definitely see some shit, they have their own methods there of accessing the deeper forces inside. Oh and give the process time to develop, many times you won't notice your own changes right away, but then you go to the city, spend some time with others and only by contrast can you see that oh, they actually have half your attention span and can't see things that are clear as day to you
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Waxing Prophetic Registered: 02/22/13 Posts: 2,514 Loc: The Enterprise Last seen: 3 years, 8 months |
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Quote: paradox, man it comes up time and time again. Being by oneself in order to know how to give to others, sitting in silence in order to know what to say. Losing yourself in order to discover yourself... it's a self-reflective mirror, and we're standing just on the other side of the images it shows.
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Witchakookoo Registered: 09/10/10 Posts: 7,135 |
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Well this thread certainly took a major turn.
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ChemChaplin Registered: 09/24/08 Posts: 7,659 Last seen: 4 years, 14 days |
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Quote: I could not possibly disagree with anything you've written more than I do. I disagree with literally every single word. But I'm cool with it if you are -------------------- A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog
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Space Nomad Registered: 06/18/13 Posts: 1,808 Loc: PHX Last seen: 5 years, 3 months |
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Quote: Yeah
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