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OfflineMorel Guy
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Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
Re: Help with Post-trip anxiety: First-time psychedelic trip caused Ego Death + Existential Crisis [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23779538 - 10/28/16 08:41 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

What I don't get is they think euphoria equals addiction and making bad choices.  All I know is usually when I have a strong and as pure as possible euphoria I am very chill. 

Current drug philosophy is much like a wishing well.


--------------------
"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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OfflineTortoisemuncher
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Registered: 10/24/16
Posts: 7
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Re: Help with Post-trip anxiety: First-time psychedelic trip caused Ego Death + Existential Crisis [Re: Tortoisemuncher] * 1
    #23779939 - 10/28/16 12:28 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Before I stop replying to this thread like a complete dickhead, leaving others experiencing this completely lost - here's a presumably final update on post-trip life:

It's been 6 days after my initial trip now, and a few things have happened. Before I elaborate I'd like to thank everyone on this forum for being friendly, and offering their help. All of you helped and allowed me to get through this confusing/scary period of my life.
You all have been an amazing source of information and support.

In terms of what has happened:
1. The Anxiety
As a lot of you fore-told my anxiety has eased. Things have only gotten better since Sunday night when I had a panic attack. Tuesday night was a bit of a struggle for me after I had an overwhelming urge to break-down and sob during a social gathering. I was ready to call-quits and just go straight to a psychologist to ease it, but I instead looked for the support from close friends. After talking openly about the subject of anxiety with many friends, I decided that immediately seeking the help of a psychologist could be a waste of money and an ineffective solution.

I talked through the trip with the friend I did it with, who also had a similar experience in terms of ego death + a generally bad trip. I also spoke to two close friends who suffer from anxiety, and they reinforced that things would indeed get better. After reading replies on the forum I realised that a lot of anxiety is just essentially a bad thought loop. If I felt/feel anxious I slowly breathe in for 5-8 counts, hold it for the same time and then breathe out, whilst changing my thoughts to something extremely positive. This worked like a charm and suffocated my anxiety substantially.

I also decided to go out and do more; I walked down to a field just below me everyday to watch the sunset and get in touch with my own thoughts in a good environment. I took photo's of things I found pleasant, and listened to music that made me feel good. Standing up from endlessly laying on my bed, anxiously killing time on my phone made me feel a lot better. Every sane moment where I would completely forget about anxiety, made me feel all the saner.

By talking through, and tackling what mentally challenging things I experienced, I helped to alleviate the anxiety. But I think it just truly takes time to lift.

2. Life lessons
Let me just tell you that I did not think magic mushrooms would actually teach me anything just a few days ago. I thought that magic mushrooms were just a dumb traumatising hallucinogenic, but I now feel as if this whole experience has taught me a lot (whether you agree with it or not).

I'm actually glad shrooms fucked me up the way they did. It scared the shit out of me, before I got to move onto substances that would offer extreme risks of addiction or drugs that would do permanent/lethal damage. Weed, mushrooms, poppers or any psychoactive drug aren't necessary for me and are a burden to my lifestyle. The experience made me realise that mind-altering substances are dangerous things, and should be treated with caution. I don't think I'm going to touch psycho-active substances again.

Mushrooms also gave me a more open perspective in terms of appreciating nature and life. I tripped in an open field in a forest, with an amazing view. During the trip there were all sorts of insects amongst us, and a few spiders too. I had a deep phobia of spiders before the trip, but now dealing with them is a ton easier. I appreciate them a lot more, and realised that they're just trying to live out life as much as I am. During the trip I actually had a cool blackish lizard appear from nowhere and climb on my leg. It made me appreciate nature and animals.

Mushrooms taught me not to take sanity for granted. My mental state is something very balanced, and I'm very comfortable with myself. Temporarily losing this, made me realise that not everyone has a clear head. Some people battle with their mental state, and suffer heavily from depression/anxiety/or other mental illness. You can't always see the ones that are suffering, and people go through a lot more than what you see on the surface.

They taught me to appreciate my abilities to interact with people, be forward and not feel social awkwardness. I can integrate myself into a social situation very easily, and a lot of people can't. Before the trip I never really realised that people feel shyness and do have trouble talking and commmunicating with one another. They also showed me that anger and expression is good, and sometimes holding back is good but hell, other times completely expressing your issue and discomfort with someone is satisfying too. If you have a problem with someone, bring it up.

It was a life-changing experience, but I doubt I'd ever do it again. It made me re alise I like myself, and don't want myself to change. I like my happy routine I've built, although it may just lead to my eventual death in this world. My routine is something I've carefully built, and the things I do give me purpose. I also have an amazing set of friends that I've chosen carefully, and that I value. Had I gotten schizophrenia or permanent effects - nearly losing friends over substance abuse is something that makes me upset.

Finally, it made me appreciate my SO - I don't think I would've been able to recover from this state without the thought of her, her ability to understand my situation and the way she can make me forget about anxiety and the bad trip. I take for granted how lucky I am to have someone as lovely as her.

In conclusion, shrooms changed my perspective in life. It made me realise that I like my current life, and don't actually want much to change. I should be grateful of my amazing mental state, friends, SO and of my life as a whole. It taught me that these substances I use should be respected, and I myself don't feel as though I'm going to use magic mushrooms again. If you're reading this and haven't tried magic mushrooms - if you feel you're mentally ready for it, I wouldn't tell you not to. Psychoactive substances like weed or hallucinogenics just aren't the thing for me.

Thank you all for your help - this truly is a wonderful community.


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OfflineThey
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Registered: 10/23/16
Posts: 146
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Help with Post-trip anxiety: First-time psychedelic trip caused Ego Death + Existential Crisis [Re: Tortoisemuncher] * 1
    #23780148 - 10/28/16 02:12 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Tuesday night was a bit of a struggle for me after I had an overwhelming urge to break-down and sob during a social gathering. I was ready to call-quits and just go straight to a psychologist to ease it, but I instead looked for the support from close friends. After talking openly about the subject of anxiety with many friends, I decided that immediately seeking the help of a psychologist could be a waste of money and an ineffective solution.



This right here :thumbup::thumbup::thumbup:

After some years of tripping, observing, meditating, some awesome trips some debatable, I have concluded that many (most?) people would go to absolutely extreme lengths to avoid breaking down and giving it a good cry for a few hours, letting go.

A nation, nay a species of urban dwellers, that are prepared to smoke, distract, medicate, talk-talk-talk until their tongues are dry, anything BUT break down and actually cry in the fetal position for some number of hours, which is in fact precisely what is needed in order to move past whatever burden they have.

I have seen people engaged in decades of smoking/drinking/therapy, in order to avoid what to me looks like a cumulative 10-20 hours of crying, tops, that they are carrying inside. But they will postpone that for decades if they can, ruining their health and life experience in the process. That's why I like psychedelics, because they make further procrastination on these matters impossible. Whatever you have WILL come out, and come out now.

All internal tensions are finite. Once you let them out you can breathe again, smile and appreciate the colorful magic, the fullness of life. As long as you continuously try to fake like your insides are fine when they're in fact not, you will feel like a shallow mask, feel like a lie. That's why breaking down and crying (or screaming, howling at the moon, breaking things, any form of real catharsis) is so liberating.

OP I advise you to give it a few weeks or months and then reconsider your decision to never do shrooms again. I've had trips similar to yours (for instance after heavy break-ups, weeks or months of tension in my system) and I know that this sort of trip is simply clearing the airfield, for the motherships to land in subsequent trips. You've done the cleaning work and are now about to quit psychedelics just when things are about to get good :smile:

Of course you honor your intuition and do as you feel, I am just sharing my perspective here.

At the very least, if now you see someone else having a difficult trip you'll know from experience to reassure them, that the anxiety doesn't last. Probably helped you as well, to know that you're not made of glass and won't shatter under some trembling and anxiety, as you release the tensions within. We've all been there mate, makes you stronger :heart:

Here is a musical gift for you, as thank you for sharing this online journey with us :laugh:



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OfflineZiu
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Registered: 09/12/16
Posts: 40
Last seen: 6 years, 1 month
Re: Help with Post-trip anxiety: First-time psychedelic trip caused Ego Death + Existential Crisis [Re: They]
    #23783621 - 10/29/16 07:40 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

They said:

After some years of tripping, observing, meditating, some awesome trips some debatable, I have concluded that many (most?) people would go to absolutely extreme lengths to avoid breaking down and giving it a good cry for a few hours, letting go.

A nation, nay a species of urban dwellers, that are prepared to smoke, distract, medicate, talk-talk-talk until their tongues are dry, anything BUT break down and actually cry in the fetal position for some number of hours, which is in fact precisely what is needed in order to move past whatever burden they have.

I have seen people engaged in decades of smoking/drinking/therapy, in order to avoid what to me looks like a cumulative 10-20 hours of crying, tops, that they are carrying inside. But they will postpone that for decades if they can, ruining their health and life experience in the process. That's why I like psychedelics, because they make further procrastination on these matters impossible. Whatever you have WILL come out, and come out now.

All internal tensions are finite. Once you let them out you can breathe again, smile and appreciate the colorful magic, the fullness of life. As long as you continuously try to fake like your insides are fine when they're in fact not, you will feel like a shallow mask, feel like a lie. That's why breaking down and crying (or screaming, howling at the moon, breaking things, any form of real catharsis) is so liberating.





And this right here. <3

:youthemandawg:


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