So on sat night to celbratw my 18th bday on sunday me and my 3 best friends picked up 6 100ug tabs since im getting a job that drug tests and I figured i like mushrooms a lot so why not have a journey with my best friends in the world. I took 2 tabs and my other two friends took 1 each. 1 decided not to trip. We dosed at 9pm. We went to a park to play basketball for a while and i started to get really energetic and euphoric. By the time we got home it was around 10 and everything was bright and vibrant. I forgot to mention i dosed the second tab at this point. We spent the next 6 hours playing cod zombies, watching planet earth and listening to music. We had the best time. Unfortunately by the time we came down I needed to sleep because i had plans with the family to go to a festival. Except i just couldn't sleep no matter what. I spent 2 hours tossing and turning. At this point me and one of the two other friends that also dosed went to watch the sun rise at the lake. That was nice. I drank a moster to wake up but it just make me sick. My family picked me up at 1pm and i was dead tired. I had already cried once because i was thinking about all the new "insight" i was now aware of. We had cake and my gmas and i was dead tired still glowing pretty strongly. When we couldn't go to the festival bc it turns out it wasn't that day we decided to see a movie and go to dinners. My family told me i could stay home to sleep during the movie bc they knew i was up all night and they just thought i was drinking . I tried to sleep but couldn't no matter what. So i cried more bc i felt so bad for ruining the day for myself and my family just to party. During dinner i felt pretty tired but had a good time at least. When i got home i fell asleep immediately. Now its Monday morning and im just reflecting about how I ruined a great day just to satisfy my desire to have a good time and just feel horrible. I microdosed 3/4 a tab 30 min ago cuz i cant miss work and read it helps with energy. I plan on taking two benadryl and some melatonin when i get off to sleep. The night was great but the day sucked and now im full of guilt and questioning whether or not i want to pursue the degree ive been working on(only taken gen eds so far so im not fucked yet). Please dont tell me im a bad person bc I already know i am. Or tell me it was fake bc we tested it with a tester and thats y the trip turned sour. I know tripping at night was stupid and wont ever do it again. I dont want this to ruin psychedelics for me, but rather to learn from it. I just needed to get my thoughts out and possibly get some insight from others who've gone through something similar.
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It doesn't really sound like you went through anything to adverse, just uneducated on the ropes of LSD. Now you know the drug better, you can plan it better next time.
-------------------- "In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply Different ways in which The All-That Is Perceives Itself"
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I really think you need a more positive outlook on life in general. eg.
"Now its Monday morning and im just reflecting about how I ruined a great day just to satisfy my desire to have a good time and just feel horrible."
I'm sure you will get over that quickly, but you can't reflect on ruining a great day and feel horrible about it. You can't go back in time, so it's imperative you try and smile, be happy. Learn from mistakes at the most, don't beat yourself up inside. You say not to tell you you're a bad person, because you know you are.. You do not seem like a bad person.. You are just beating yourself up more, and you need to release these negative thoughts. Even assuming people are going to question the legitimacy of your lsd, is slightly negative thinking.
LSD reflects what's already inside of your mind. It's good you had fun at first on the lsd. Some people take lsd for recreational purposes, and it can be recreational, especially when you have a group of people taking it together. I think it's true value is the insight it gives you, and ability to think through what's going on in your life right now. You were upset about the insight it gave you. Why? Would you rather be blind to the insight? I'm not sure exactly what it helped you realize, unless it's the degree you've been working on. (which you have to figure out for yourself, don't think negatively about that either. Like you said, you're not even that far into the degree program. It's just something you need to look into.) Also at times lsd can give you false insight, but you usually can distinguish what's true and false when you come down.
I also love tripping at night, and in the daytime. You do have to think about what's going on the next day though. It's nice to be able to get a good sleep in, to recover from it. It's important to plan out your trip, and that can be hard if you're going to school and working. It doesn't sound like you missed much though, just a movie. I also personally don't like redosing. You have a tolerance from your first tab, so it doesn't make it much more intense, but it makes the trip a bit longer. IMO, it's already long enough. I would take one or two, all at once next time. I would hope you have energy for work after sleeping, and I would have personally skipped the microdose, but that's another personal thing. I hope it worked out well for you.
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