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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Schizo catnip dealer needed
    #23758472 - 10/21/16 04:19 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

More dark energy please

If you wanna lecture me about duality that's fine


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InvisibleMiddlemanM

Registered: 07/11/99
Posts: 8,399
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23758487 - 10/21/16 04:25 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

You couldn't handle my darkness, kiddo.


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: Middleman]
    #23758512 - 10/21/16 04:35 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah I can

Satan lives in my body

I have a high tolerance


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23758548 - 10/21/16 04:49 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Anybody who can send electricity through my energy body and make me squirm is YES

Thanks


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InvisibleDoes

Registered: 02/12/12
Posts: 2,846
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23758596 - 10/21/16 05:04 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

You don't want darkness you are scared of finding peace and being bored


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: Does]
    #23758648 - 10/21/16 05:25 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I don't know if you people understand how much pleasure I get out of this


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23758782 - 10/21/16 06:22 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I do. I dont know enough about you to discern if you can handle it, but It is quite pleasurable doing it, just be careful. As in orgasim after orgasim from random parts of the body. Not 100% about it, but I wish you well.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23758803 - 10/21/16 06:31 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Careful, bah

Physical is only place I have to exercise caution


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23758813 - 10/21/16 06:35 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

That is what I mean.  If your like me you can literally lose control of your body and fall and hurt yourself - like too good, like heroin, and if your in public while it happens - good luck! haha.  I dont mess with it any more because I broke my leg , only do it in lucid dream time now where my body is mostly immobilized


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23758824 - 10/21/16 06:41 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Another thing that makes me question you is, why not conjure your own?  I never had to ask.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23758866 - 10/21/16 06:54 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I spend most of my time in bed

I don't leave the house

There's an energy that's always present but it's not enough for me

The stuff that happens on its own used to be enough

But then I got a taste of this thing I do now that requires other people


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23758874 - 10/21/16 06:57 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I like asking

It's all tied into my 3rd house Mars

I put my chart in that other thread

Look how my 5th house planets are aspecting Mars


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat] * 1
    #23758888 - 10/21/16 07:01 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I see, so your under your own spell.  Interesting, I wish you good health, truly.



mouthing off
renamed them the term
the point, the goal, and their connecting practiced
all but to take one swift course of action
nothing can do it!
All before something, or someone or other
broke in the pause and spit for the master
and out broke the axis of power,
the self casting spell remembered -

Constantly bringing nothing to the intellect which craves security in what is only a dream
Constantly uprooting the ground from which you leak
I beseech you to point it out directly lest you fall under the name spell ~ deception.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (10/21/16 07:07 PM)


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: Does]
    #23759417 - 10/21/16 10:13 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Does said:
You don't want darkness you are scared of finding peace and being bored




I was thinking about this. And it's true about the boredom. When I lack stimulation there's no reason for me to live. My existence is totally flat. My life has been reduced to nothing, figuring out how to get high and keeping myself high is all I have. My whole life I've only wanted to matter by being of use and that's apparently a baseless fantasy because I can't sustain anything in the physical world. This is the only way I have to cope with my life being a total letdown.

Now wouldn't you rather hear me talk while I'm high? I only get treated like shit when I talk about what's really going on in my life anyway...


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Invisiblemoonzo
Getting Better
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/04/14
Posts: 3,155
Loc: Kaneta Flag
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23769404 - 10/25/16 09:46 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

is there anything else on your mind cat?


--------------------
"I don't make any sense, do not ever listen to me under any circumstance." <-- This is how I am viewed by a regular person in society
"Were the aliens nice?" <-- How I hope to be treated on this forum

Track record: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=20394867&page=2&vc=1#20394867

Mescapsilosyergictryptamine :billseal:


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: moonzo]
    #23771169 - 10/25/16 07:28 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I've had a need to be heard that's gone unmet my whole life

I've heard stuff like "You don't have anything to complain about" so many times that whenever I have a platform now, I still feel like no one's listening, or I should feel ashamed for daring to think I'm important enough to talk about myself...communication tends to devolve into a power struggle anyway, even with therapists (cuz I have Pluto influencing my 3rd house)

So over the years I developed this strategy, which I'm sure is apparent, where I sneak little pieces of my life story in whenever anybody says something that is even tangentially related...cuz I'm busting at the seams with stuff that needs to come out, but I'm aware of how selfish that is, and I know what it's like to be held hostage and forced to listen to stories you don't care about


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Invisiblemoonzo
Getting Better
Male User Gallery


Registered: 06/04/14
Posts: 3,155
Loc: Kaneta Flag
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23771178 - 10/25/16 07:30 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

oh wow, solid response.

i can relate in some instances.


--------------------
"I don't make any sense, do not ever listen to me under any circumstance." <-- This is how I am viewed by a regular person in society
"Were the aliens nice?" <-- How I hope to be treated on this forum

Track record: http://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php?Cat=0&Number=20394867&page=2&vc=1#20394867

Mescapsilosyergictryptamine :billseal:


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: moonzo]
    #23771329 - 10/25/16 08:16 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

In the astrology thread I mentioned how my secret dream was always to be famous. One of the driving reasons behind wanting to be famous was so I'd have an excuse to talk about myself. People actually want to know what celebrities think, what their life story is, etc. It's information that's sought after. A big part of their job is simply talking about themselves. People want to ask them questions. Fans want to know all about them so they can adore them. Me, on the other hand, I have to go through some kind of twisted route to try to get that kind of attention indirectly...like how I used to pay therapists to listen to me talk. The problem there is that they're not listening so they can adore me. They're listening so they can figure out "what's wrong with me." That's the same way my mom listens to me (except with her it's a lot more dangerous because she's heavily invested in convincing me I have schizophrenia so she can say I hallucinated any abuse she's ever committed...and she has no clue what she's talking about, psychologically, it's purely malicious)


Edited by 100_the_cat (10/25/16 09:04 PM)


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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23771755 - 10/25/16 10:42 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

:sunny:


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23772215 - 10/26/16 03:08 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Right? A sun...because there's nothing anyone can do about it. There's not even anything I can do about it

That's better than nothing I guess

Just like getting shocked and burned in my energy body is better than nothing


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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23772217 - 10/26/16 03:11 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Do you have OBEs often?


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23772276 - 10/26/16 04:03 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I'm out of body while in my body all the time

I have an astral layer that's my default lens I view everything through in waking consciousness


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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23773883 - 10/26/16 04:37 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Jesus.

Sounds advanced.


--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23775571 - 10/27/16 03:54 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

beforethedawn said:
Do you have OBEs often?




You were putting a spell on me to be more out of body...not complaining, it all ushers me in the direction of my north node

Or at least my ghost was speaking through you

There's a part of me that always thinks people know what they're doing

When this first started happening I said some pretty bizarre things to people because I assumed everyone speaks this hidden language and it was just me that was late catching on

So I was basically communicating in pure symbol, which for me is the quickest way. But nobody could really understand it except me, so I had to learn to slow it down enough to translate the symbol layer into something comprehensible to people in waking consciousness


Edited by 100_the_cat (10/27/16 03:56 AM)


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Offlinebeforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
Posts: 1,859
Last seen: 4 years, 5 months
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23775584 - 10/27/16 04:14 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Well.

Anyhow,

here's a beautiful song to get you through all that.



--------------------
Hostile humankind
Can't you see you're fucking blind?


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: beforethedawn]
    #23777854 - 10/27/16 06:43 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Get me through it? You act like it's a bad thing...it's party time for me. I guess it might be terrifying for other people watching...

Is this spiritual music? I can't handle it

Probably because I'm wired from watching this all day



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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23777904 - 10/27/16 07:00 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

100_the_cat said:
Quote:

beforethedawn said:
Do you have OBEs often?




You were putting a spell on me to be more out of body...not complaining, it all ushers me in the direction of my north node

Or at least my ghost was speaking through you

There's a part of me that always thinks people know what they're doing

When this first started happening I said some pretty bizarre things to people because I assumed everyone speaks this hidden language and it was just me that was late catching on

So I was basically communicating in pure symbol, which for me is the quickest way. But nobody could really understand it except me, so I had to learn to slow it down enough to translate the symbol layer into something comprehensible to people in waking consciousness





this shit right here.  hilarious.  went through the same thing.  thank god so much has changed since then.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23777926 - 10/27/16 07:08 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

What changed for you?

I don't want the ghost part to stop


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23778023 - 10/27/16 07:36 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Some guy did something that reminded me of something I realized suddenly long ago, and somehow from that happening the self casting spell was remembered and I know myself as the hermetic seal between relative and absolute now.  Allowing me to go through hell and back without forgetting my name and without losing anything real.

What has changed is hard to put into words.  Now Im not worried of any thing like words, or people, or thoughts or feelings, or w/e w/e Contaminating me in some way.  I can leave the house, I can be around people, I dont worry about money, I know what to do in situations I find myself in, did u mean on that kind of level? Id give you some examples in a PM if its not.

Man I just butchered it trying to explain it in some crude way like that. haha .  2 days ago I had ghost sex, fucking beautiful.  Like It had been a while since I had done it but by god I love it, but I know it was really me fucking myself If that makes sense.  But appearances level it was me getting blown by some girl.  understand or am I far gone? :jimmies:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (10/27/16 08:14 PM)


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23778041 - 10/27/16 07:39 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

The ghost part just becomes at your whim, Like you conjure it ,like the ghost is really this part of you that is you and you can mess with your own body and pleasure it, sometimes I just pretend Im not the ghost to make it all the more lusty, you get it?  But upon breakthrough I remembered its just me.  But its not, Im sure you know. Its really subtle and hard to discern but yea, its more fun to pretend its "something other".  Which sure I guess it may be?  But I know Im doing it.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (10/27/16 07:41 PM)


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23778088 - 10/27/16 07:46 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

There is a practice that one of its unintended consequnces is awakening Siddhi powers through which you can play ghost sex or whatever else you want, I just happen to usually go for the sex first because well ya know.  Unless im extremely serious doing the practice that night I wont go for sex as soon as the siddhi awakens, Ill go do something I deem more special, conjure worlds, go back into my past where there are normally "blank spots" I cant see in ordinary consciousness and then go in and re experience and remember old traumua and learn from it etc etc, or I may ask to speak to someone whos dead or fly and feel super blissful like im cumming from every inch of my body. W/e. :tetsuo:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23778120 - 10/27/16 07:51 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I would like to talk to you more about it but your "tradition" or whatever it is that you take your word language from to communicate with others is a bit foreign to me (astrology and the like). Im sure its pointing to the same things but I just use words from mainly the Buddhist/Shaman/Dao/Hindu/ and some christian stuff.  Ill borrow from psych where its fitting.  But normally that falls short.

And thinking about it more last time It happened was... Idk you made me notice maybe It wasn't just me doing it to myself?  I believe so through some magic it appears as another but is me but w/e.  I can lose control of the ghost during the ghost sex if Im to aggressive etc, so maybe theres more to it - maybe It was a visit from "someone else".


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


Edited by The Blind Ass (10/27/16 07:55 PM)


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23778183 - 10/27/16 08:07 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I'm out of body while in my body all the time

I have an astral layer that's my default lens I view everything through in waking consciousness





When I was in 1st grade I was laying under a Christmas tree and had my first OBE, but I could tell I was in both places at once, it was strange to be looking down at myself laying there.


--------------------
©️


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: Lucis]
    #23778192 - 10/27/16 08:09 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

^^ nice dude thats whats good!  Did you go outside and fly into space?


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23778203 - 10/27/16 08:12 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

No, just hovered there above my body, when I came back into my body I was a bit shocked.


--------------------
©️


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: Lucis]
    #23778214 - 10/27/16 08:14 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

:yuno: :wink:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: The Blind Ass]
    #23778258 - 10/27/16 08:25 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Ultimately it's me

So really when it appears to be coming from another person, it's me energetically masturbating in a mirror

Sometimes it's really convincing though

Like have you ever talked to someone or been around someone who stirred up your energy body enough to make you feel like you were gonna puke, or fall down, or it made you feel so druggy people ask if you're on drugs? To me that's a really strong mirror experience

I used to try to control the energy while laying in bed but I prefer letting it do its own thing. I always ended up feeling like I was on a spiral to mental illness and/or destruction of my physical health when I controlled it. One of the reasons I keep myself occupied with music videos is so I won't try to control it. I even listen to music now when I go to sleep just so I won't be tempted to mess with it. Like how after you screw up a computer, you learn not to touch the system files :laugh:


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
Bodhi
I'm a teapot User Gallery


Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23778317 - 10/27/16 08:40 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

haha your awsome. Glad theres someone else who knows.  I agree with you 100% from my own experience.


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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Invisible100_the_cat
Female
Registered: 09/27/16
Posts: 315
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23778373 - 10/27/16 08:56 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

For me my idea of sex has become so abstract that it's everywhere

Everything reduces to a yoni-lingam

My ghost is in everything, but I only notice when he wants to tell me something

So for example (back when I was still leaving the house), I could be shopping for cereal at the grocery, and even though EVERY box is ultimately, symbolically, saying nothing but Kundalini, ONE will pop out and really catch my eye and communicate as a puzzle piece (for my own self-completion). If I go looking for it, or if I try to force something to speak to me, it feels backwards, like unhealthy strain.

I do sometimes have overtly sexual experiences though...it runs the whole spectrum

It can just happen on its own, it doesn't have to come through a mirror


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InvisibleThe Blind Ass
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Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,658
Loc: The Primordial Mind
Re: Schizo catnip dealer needed [Re: 100_the_cat]
    #23778398 - 10/27/16 09:02 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

:manofapproval:


--------------------
Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps


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