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mescalator
Stranger

Registered: 09/19/16
Posts: 156
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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Re: My so called life [Re: shadyy]
#23758276 - 10/21/16 02:54 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
What are your talents?
None to speak of really. I'm good with computers to an extent, but other than that I have no real talents to speak of.
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Dr. P. Silocybin
Would you like fries with that?



Registered: 09/09/08
Posts: 2,620
Loc: The Great Divide
Last seen: 3 years, 11 months
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Quote:
mescalator said: So ive been on a road to nowhere for a good while now. Lost my job, became homeless, got admitted to a psyche ward several times due to amphetamine abuse and now im living on welfare in temp accomodation.
I've totally messed up my life at every step, from relationships to education to work and all the rest. I'm not a stupid person, just ultimately self-destructive. Picking my life up off of the floor is an ongoing struggle.
Anyone else been down similar roads? I need to get my ife back on track but cant seem to do anything right for myself at the moment. What keeps you going at rock bottom when you have nothing and no one anymore?
I need some more reasons to live other than getting high.

I can relate. Every opportunity I've been given, and there have been a few really good ones, I've squandered. Everyone I love I have hurt. Sometimes I want to get real heavy into dope, at least an addiction would give me a purpose day to day. But I always end up taking breaks from the hard shit. I'm not sure why, probably the same reason I haven't put a bullet in my head. As much as I would sometimes like to be, I'm just not done living yet. And it sounds like you aren't either.
One thing that keeps me going is nature. Being alone in the wilderness can remind you how trivial your problems are. The mountains were here for millennia before we were born and will be here for millennia after we die. It puts things in perspective for me. And the sheer beauty of it all recharges my soul. Maybe you would have more luck with meditation if you found a nice lake, or stream to meditate by. Someplace quit where you can be alone.
Also, meditation does not always mean sitting cross legged. You can walk and meditate, you can do anything and meditate, I think sitting just makes it easier to turn off the waterfall. Don't try to force thoughts out of your mind. Think of them as ripples on a pond. let them spread out, bounce of each other, and create new a different ripples. let them do their thing until they naturally fade away and pond is still.
Maybe a pet would help? My sister is giving me a kitten this weekend. I'm pretty stoked. I have a hard time giving a fuck about my life, it doesn't really matter to me how it ends up. I'd like to be happy, but I'm not motivated enough to put in the work if it's just for me. Having something outside myself to care about helps me make the positive changes that I need.
Also, how willing are you to submit yourself to difficult psychedelic experiences? I like to clean the windows of perception from time to time. But you have to expect that going in to it depressed that it might be a rough trip. I like to do it alone so I can focus on my internal struggles, but if you have a close friend to be there with you that's not a bad idea so long as you wont feel the need to hold anything back in front of this person. I think it helps, my problem is that shortly after the trip I fail to assimilate what I've learned into my everyday life. I don't change anything, and then fall back into same place I was in before the trip. Despite all that I still think psychedelics have a positive impact, for me, and if you can carry that experience with you and put it to work in your life then their potential is unlimited.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Reading is all well and good, but reading for 100 hours is of less lasting value than 1 hour of practice in my experience.
My question for you is what spiritual disciplines do you practice following from your study of Krishnamurti?
What use is reading Krishnamurti if one does not meditate?
And if one meditates already, what need is there to read Krishnamurti?
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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Quote:
mescalator said: So ive been on a road to nowhere for a good while now. Lost my job, became homeless, got admitted to a psyche ward several times due to amphetamine abuse and now im living on welfare in temp accomodation.
I've totally messed up my life at every step, from relationships to education to work and all the rest. I'm not a stupid person, just ultimately self-destructive. Picking my life up off of the floor is an ongoing struggle.
Anyone else been down similar roads? I need to get my ife back on track but cant seem to do anything right for myself at the moment. What keeps you going at rock bottom when you have nothing and no one anymore?
I need some more reasons to live other than getting high.

You're gonna need to start saving and scrounging every penny you can manage. Its probably gonna take a few months before you have enough saved up to get a place, after that you work on getting a job. Once you have those two things going on you'll feel much better about yourself and your position in life. Figuring out exactly what you want from it might take a while though, but you have plenty of time left to you to do that.
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mescalator
Stranger

Registered: 09/19/16
Posts: 156
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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Re: My so called life [Re: Moonshoe]
#23758502 - 10/21/16 04:31 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Moonshoe said: Meditation and yoga are not Bullshit, they have profound benefits proven by science.
You say they don't work for you, but obviously you havent truly tried.
Meditation is just introspection. I am introspective by personality type so its pointless for me to train my mind in that way.
Also, every two bit guru from here to shanghai says that 'if it doesnt work for you, you havent 'really' tried'.
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mescalator
Stranger

Registered: 09/19/16
Posts: 156
Last seen: 6 years, 3 months
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Quote:
Bodhi of Ankou said: You're gonna need to start saving and scrounging every penny you can manage. Its probably gonna take a few months before you have enough saved up to get a place, after that you work on getting a job. Once you have those two things going on you'll feel much better about yourself and your position in life. Figuring out exactly what you want from it might take a while though, but you have plenty of time left to you to do that.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Meditation is not just introspection.
There is nobody for whom yoga doesn't work.
If you do yoga regularly you will achieve mental, physical and emotional benefits.
Saying "yoga doesn't work for me" is like saying exercise doesn't work for me or healthy eating doesn't work for me.
All these things work for everyone to the extent that they do them consistently.
You saying yoga and meditation are Bullshit or don't work for you is you lying to yourself as a cop-out in order to justify not doing them, and not doing them is the only way in which you will not benefit from them.
You are like a starving man who says "food doesn't work for me", or an exhausted man who says "sleep is just hippy bullshit"
Your OP states that you have completely failed to manage your life successfully.
You should ask yourself - doesn't the mess your life has become show you that you clearly don't know what you need, what is good for you and what works for you?
You admit you have failed in every aspect of your life. How absurd then to think you can dismiss ancient traditions of wisdom that have been proven to be effective by both science and thousands of years of people using them and benefiting.
Your OP speaks of humility, your comments on yoga and meditation speak of arrogance and ironic pride.
You are like a man with a terminal illness who despite being in agony from the disease feels he knows better than the doctor and rejects the medicine.
Nevertheless, if you have a mental block that prevents you from undertaking the practices of yoga and meditation, focus instead on martial arts.
If you have some mental block preventing you from doing martial arts as well, then do some other form of exercise instead such as jogging, weight lifting , swimming or body weight exercises.
Whatever form of exercise you are willing to do, make it a daily practice.
Doing so will benefit you in every aspect of your life and will increase your physical, mental and emotional health. It will reduce your stress, alleviate depression and enhance mood and self confidence.
This will in turn help you get to grips with the rest of your life.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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Bodhi of Ankou
*alternate opinion blocks path*


Registered: 06/02/09
Posts: 24,778
Loc: Soviet Canukistan
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I dont think its going to do much to his addiction. If he had some sort of disorder it would be beneficial but for straight addiction its not gonna have much of an effect. Gabapentin can help you with the cravings. You can buy it online with little to no hassle and a lot of people have reported dropping a gram a day eliminated withdrawals from meth and heroin. Other then that getting out of your position is fairly straight forward and requires nothing more then a little discipline and self control.
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Moonshoe
Blue Mantis


Registered: 05/28/04
Posts: 27,202
Loc: Iceland
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Gabapentin/ pregabalin does wonders for opiate or gaba withdrawal.
Just be aware it is also addictive itself and has a nasty WD of its own.
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Everything I post is fiction.
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JustForToday
New Life, New Beginnings


Registered: 09/08/14
Posts: 3,186
Last seen: 6 years, 5 months
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Re: My so called life [Re: Moonshoe]
#23758781 - 10/21/16 06:22 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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The answers you seek are here..
-------------------- Hey Shae, Are you still doing that hand thing? I heard you was doing that hand thing today. Oh God what is that?!
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