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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
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The Tyranny of "Should" 1
#23757754 - 10/21/16 11:29 AM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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The mind can have an aggressive harassing demanding habit of proclaiming things "should" be a certain way.
Attachment to "should" thinking (AKA "must-er-bating") often leads to anger, rage, anxiety and depression.
This kind of demandingness (an unwillingness to accept things as they are) can fuel much suffering.
I "should" all over myself! Here are a few of my shoulds. Do you have some?
I shouldn't make so many mistakes. I should do better.
I shouldn't feel this way.
I should be totally self-reliant
Mom and dad should have been better parents.
My life should be better. I should be happier.
Others should treat me fairly and politely.
My coworker shouldn't be so aggressive.
My partner should appreciate me more.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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so, what should we do about it?
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 12 minutes
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Quote:
I think I'm a piece of matter in a quantum field experiencing perceptual relativity therefore I have a conscience.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 12 minutes
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Re: The Tyranny of "Should" [Re: sudly]
#23759581 - 10/21/16 11:16 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I should be able to comprehend this, but I don't.
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sudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
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Re: The Tyranny of "Should" [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#23759589 - 10/21/16 11:19 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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It's a modern take on 'I think therefore I am'.
-------------------- I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 12 minutes
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Re: The Tyranny of "Should" [Re: sudly]
#23759602 - 10/21/16 11:25 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I should have known that.
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RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 18 hours, 12 minutes
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: so, what should we do about it?
It's a method to learn what gives birth to our emotional disturbances.
When we look at the thinking that creates turmoil, there are patterns.
There is nothing to "do" but to notice when we should all over ourselves.
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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Re: The Tyranny of "Should" [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#23759932 - 10/22/16 03:55 AM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I try not to do that, but if I do a nice shower helps.
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


Registered: 08/28/09
Posts: 82,455
Loc: Onypeirophóros
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Re: The Tyranny of "Should" [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#23759954 - 10/22/16 04:25 AM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
RJ Tubs 202 said:

oh cosmic irony, isn't it grand.
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ComebackKid
Multispore Enthusiast



Registered: 05/27/16
Posts: 3,951
Loc: ked in the trunk of a car
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Quote:
redgreenvines said: so, what should we do about it?
This didn't settle well with me
what shall we do about it?
that's better
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Substrate surface conditions / Monotub prep and care
Look around you... Everything you see exists inside the mind. Consciousness, the awareness that is experiencing this mind, is peering in from outside the universe. Our individual experiences are all part of the universe's experience of itself
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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semantically, maybe. But I think it is just an allergy to the word habit. Awareness of the pitfalls does not require aversion to the word or idea of should, there are many times to accept duty gladly and with vigor.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



Registered: 12/09/99
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Loc: South Florida
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Re: The Tyranny of "Should" [Re: RJ Tubs 202] 1
#23762983 - 10/23/16 01:09 AM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Therapists often tell clients "Don't should yourself."
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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redgreenvines
irregular verb


Registered: 04/08/04
Posts: 37,539
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we know that, Mark but we have to get past it too.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,660
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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You shouldnt make threads like this man! Shouldnt you know what will happen? Should I tell you? Should We wait and see for ourselvs? Maybe we should maybe we shouldnt!
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (10/23/16 07:39 PM)
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