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tarlin
Beginner Hunter


Registered: 10/09/16
Posts: 214
Loc: Virginia, USA
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743551 - 10/16/16 06:57 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
tarlin said: I very rarely ever talk, especially post in a forum, my personal business. When it comes to the matter of suicide it is very real and serious. When you feel like hope has been forsaken and all that is left is grief and agony it sounds like a great option however.
I have tried to kill myself by gunfire and a heroin overdose. When I pulled the trigger the bullet jammed in the firing chamber and shot out through the ejection port of the rifle. This left me passed off with a broken weapon and deaf in one ear for about 3 weeks. Not to mention one hell of a headache.
More recently when I tried to OD on heroin I blacked out and someone who found me called an ambulance and I went to the hospital. I signed out against medical advice and the doctor urged me to stay. Said he had never seen someone in 25 years of practice dose as high as I did and walk away without dying or having organ failure at least.
I went through extreme illness. Unable to walk 3 steps without convulsions, voming, or severe muscle spasms. I spent the next week going through hell mentally and physically as I was also withdrawing from heroin use. For those who believe this is a quick and easy way to go, bullshit! If you have never tried it don't sponsor the idea. In the last 3 hours of what I thought would be the end of my life I experienced nothing peaceful about it. I had seizures, thoughts about my children and wife, and an instant "fuck what have I just done!?" regret that I could not forget even after my blackout.
I went through hell for years before this in my own head. I was an Army medic and have seen the deaths of hundreds of people. Have been unable to save friends of mine including my lifelong best friend who died in my arms as I tried to save him after we were blown up in our vehicle by an RPG. I carried guilt and the faces of those I knew who were lost right on my sleeve.
Today I am getting my life back together. I have found out how to forgive myself and I have found a home and a place for my family and I to live after 6 months of being homeless. Life is hard! Decisions are even harder and what I found out is suicide was not just a decision that affected me but it Damon near destroyed my wife and kids and many others who know me. In the end if it had been successful I would be without thought or concern but those I left behind would carry my face on their sleeves much as I carried those I lost.
I took my family to Shenandoah Valley and into the Blue Ridge Mountains yesterday and was gratefully reminded about why every life matters and the truth that if you WORK for it things DO get better.
Please do not give up. YOUR life matters. Find peace in your struggles and hope will show through.
Best of luck to you.
Trust me I can relate. Life sucks so you buy a gun, shoot enough heroin to kill an elephant, or apparently swallow enough antihistamines to prevent any anaphylaxis for 3 lifetimes.
All jabs aside I get it seriously but killing yourself is the last thing you want to do. Suicides real and permanent. You can masturbate in 4-6 months so why make a forever decision? (Sorry had to take the last jab, all in good fun though)
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Sanguin3
Optimist

Registered: 10/19/13
Posts: 2,273
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. *DELETED* [Re: Bill_Oreilly] 1
#23743603 - 10/16/16 07:11 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Post deleted by Sanguin3
Reason for deletion: .
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: tarlin]
#23743617 - 10/16/16 07:15 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe you were delerious from the antihistamine. Mayne you really almost died. Id go to the hospital if i thought i almost died.
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Sanguin3]
#23743619 - 10/16/16 07:15 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sanguin3 said: I'm still trying to figure out why you led the post with "I haven't jacked off in a month", like that had anything to do with the rest of your story. 
Instead of worrying about not doing normal things like masturbating maybe you should try to lay off the pills.
You must ot be male
Raunchy is the antidote.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: California]
#23743651 - 10/16/16 07:27 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
California said:
Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said: im going through a lot
first let me say i havent jacked off in a month and im going for another 4-6 months
second..
i have this psychiatrist who is the most beautiful woman i ever met.
i had an appointment and i was stupid and i was completely honest to her about how i wasnt taking my adderall as prescribed..so she took me off of it which i used to sell for 700 dollars oer script.
i can leave her and see a new one and get the adderall back but i would miss that perfect little face of hers.
she said if i can stay clean(which means no jacking off to me as well) for 4-6 months then maybe i can get back on them. So i was really pissed about that so i took 1 of my meds called "visceral"(sp) and i was so close to dying i could taste the death. My heart starting throbbing and i felt the blood from my head leave me as i almost died. I slowly made my way up the stairs and grabbed as much clonadine as i could and ate them..i started pacing around praying to god i wouldnt die...eventually i felt the clonadine start working and somehow it was the "kryptonite" i needed.
So anyway..after all that passed i find myself, here now, and very depressed. i dont know why im alive even though im so grateful i made it past that death.
i have no idea what to do with myself and my attention span is way off..i dont even follow football or anything i like anymore.
so ya...its going to be a long fucking winter for me without jacking off and being miserable.
Boo fucking hoo. You have a pretty shrink who took your drugs, and you decided to stop masturbation. My dog died yesterday. My Winter is going to be longer and more miserable. Have fun at your pity party, joker.
My dog is aboutto die so fuck off
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743653 - 10/16/16 07:28 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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All our dogs are about to die
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
Edited by Morel Guy (10/16/16 07:29 PM)
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Morel Guy] 1
#23743658 - 10/16/16 07:30 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Yeah and cats. Its bullshit that domesticated animals dont live longer.
But its not a competition boys. California How about you either leave or relax and have some empathy for OP instead of trying to win the sad competition that you made up.
Edited by BANANA.MAN (10/16/16 07:32 PM)
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Sanguin3]
#23743662 - 10/16/16 07:31 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Sanguin3 said: I'm still trying to figure out why you led the post with "I haven't jacked off in a month", like that had anything to do with the rest of your story. 
Instead of worrying about not doing normal things like masturbating maybe you should try to lay off the pills.
What pills?
You guys just dont get it..
If you only knew the shame i live with everyday..
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: BANANA.MAN]
#23743671 - 10/16/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BANANA.MAN said: Yeah and cats. Its bullshit that domesticated animals dont live longer.
But its not a competition boys. California How about you either leave or relax and have some empathy for OP instead of trying to win the sad competition that you made up.
Thank you brother
I love how people think they knew 1 day in my shoes
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743673 - 10/16/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Did you get butt raped?
What shame? Mastrbation? That is a common shame
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743675 - 10/16/16 07:33 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I think its awesome that you managed to quit jetking off. It takes discipline for sure. And guys he wouldnt stop if he didnt have a problem hes trying to improve his life its not weird.
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743679 - 10/16/16 07:34 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Bill_Oreilly said:
Quote:
BANANA.MAN said: Yeah and cats. Its bullshit that domesticated animals dont live longer.
But its not a competition boys. California How about you either leave or relax and have some empathy for OP instead of trying to win the sad competition that you made up.
Thank you brother
I love how people think they knew 1 day in my shoes
Np dude
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Morel Guy]
#23743681 - 10/16/16 07:34 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
Morel Guy said: All our dogs are about to die
Not really. I understand your point though.
My dog is so old its awful to see him this way. My dog can barely walk up stairs
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: BANANA.MAN]
#23743685 - 10/16/16 07:34 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
BANANA.MAN said: I think its awesome that you managed to quit jetking off. It takes discipline for sure. And guys he wouldnt stop if he didnt have a problem hes trying to improve his life its not weird.
You hit the nail on the head
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743689 - 10/16/16 07:35 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Just so you all know anywau..say the hottest gorl wanted to suck my dick..i would refuse her because i dont like seeing woman on their knees. They are to good for that IMHO
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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Morel Guy
Stranger


Registered: 01/23/13
Posts: 15,577
Last seen: 4 years, 1 month
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743692 - 10/16/16 07:36 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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It is bullshit they age so fast. They truly only live as long as we can care for them. Mine is five already and hard to believe that. Some day we all die so at least have loved someone.
-------------------- "in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur" In filth it will be found in dung it will be found
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PatrickKn



Registered: 07/10/11
Posts: 20,564
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743697 - 10/16/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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She doesn't have to be on her knees to suck your dick. You can do it laying in bed, on top of a counter, hanging upside down from a tree.
Be creative.
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: Bill_Oreilly]
#23743702 - 10/16/16 07:38 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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You will get used with that kind of attitude. You need to respect her enough to listen to and appreciate her, but sometimes you need to treat her like your little slut and just dominate her. What if she wants to be on her knees? Also, as if being on their knees is the only way to suck a dick.
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Bill_Oreilly
ANIMALS (the RAINBOW SERPENT)


Registered: 11/12/11
Posts: 26,370
Loc: Boston
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Re: I was never one to complain but.. [Re: PatrickKn]
#23743705 - 10/16/16 07:39 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Quote:
PatrickKn said: She doesn't have to be on her knees to suck your dick. You can do it laying in bed, on top of a counter, hanging upside down from a tree.
Be creative.
Oh stop lol you know what i mean
Woman are too good for this dick
I dont care what anyone says so dont try convincing other wise
But i do like the creativity on your end
-------------------- Something there is mysteriously formed, Existing before Heaven and Earth, Silent, still, standing alone, unchanging, All-pervading, unfailing, I do not know its name; I call it tao. If forced to give it a name, I call it Great (ta). Being great, it flows out; Flowing out means far-reaching; Being far-reaching, it is said to return. It's just a shot away..
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BANANA.MAN
Turd Ferguson


Registered: 01/11/15
Posts: 7,474
Loc: Ontario Canada
Last seen: 6 months, 3 days
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Thats acctually true respecting women too much isnt good. They wont respect you.
I respect women and i dont use the words whore or slut and shit but ive learned the hard way that you have to be in control.
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