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Shop: Kraken Kratom Red Vein Kratom   Unfolding Nature Unfolding Nature: Being in the Implicate Order

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OfflineThisquestionpls
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Registered: 10/15/16
Posts: 10
Last seen: 7 years, 3 months
Toxic relationship
    #23738973 - 10/15/16 12:50 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

biggest signs of doomed relationship? Been in some real shitty ones. Some that I invested all my time and energy and it never began. some that did and I wish hadn't. But this one feels different. Makes the fighting and anger seem worth it.. Not sure if it is


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InvisibleSheekle
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Registered: 01/11/10
Posts: 53,153
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Thisquestionpls]
    #23738989 - 10/15/16 12:59 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

a sign of a doomed relationship is fighting and anger


--------------------
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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
I'm a teapot


Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 22 days
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Thisquestionpls] * 1
    #23739135 - 10/15/16 03:37 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

  • Frequent arguing and disagreement
  • Playing stupid games like hot and cold
  • A sense of ability that you are able to ignore them on the whim


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

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Anonymous #1

Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23739598 - 10/15/16 09:45 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Resentment and lack of trust..those were the biggest signs for me.

My last relationship was a complete disaster. I had caught what many people call "oneitis" for this shy, cute mousey chick I met at my college.
We just clicked in soo many ways and I was intensely attracted to her mysterious vibe, it was very alluring.
The third time we met up on campus, we ended up chilling in one of the halls as it got dark outside.
It was a lounge area with couches and stuff on the third floor.

I came on wayy too strong and ended up freaking the girl out and it was all down hill from there in terms of my "alpha male" status.
I apologized and she accepted it, but she still wasn't convinced.

I ended up being too clingy and looking for validation all the time, which amazingly she found "cute" and eventually we started dating.
After about 3 months of dating, with no sex, she tried to string me along into a LTR.
I flat out told her that we had a good mental and emotional connection, but without the physical part I can't commit.

If a girl doesn't put out by the third date or less, there is something wrong.
If she wants to keep you, and is genuinely turned on by you, she will sleep with you.
If not, she is getting her sexual desires (no matter how repressed), fulfilled by some other guy(s).

I don't take any BS from any college aged girls saying, "I have a bunch of guy friends, but they're all just friends, I only makeout with you!"
Hahaha, what kind of chode do I look like. Nexttt haha


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Invisiblesudly
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Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Anonymous #1] * 1
    #23740837 - 10/15/16 08:58 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Playing stupid games like hot and cold





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I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
I'm a teapot


Registered: 12/06/14
Posts: 1,225
Loc: Goa
Last seen: 11 months, 22 days
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: sudly]
    #23741238 - 10/16/16 12:45 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Been through it too huh?

What a pain in the ass


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

SBJs "The Basics"
3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak"
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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Rosen_Rot] * 1
    #23741280 - 10/16/16 01:14 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Was in an open relationship for 2 years without knowing it.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineRosen_Rot
Learning
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Registered: 12/06/14
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Re: Toxic relationship [Re: sudly]
    #23741306 - 10/16/16 01:29 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Committed relationship for 5years

things were great

last 3 years it was an up and down cycle of that fucking game along with other bollocks


--------------------
:sporedrop:"The internet has one rule; use or be used" - Bjeldiablo :sporedrop:
''there is no loneliness, only moments where contentment is fleeting''

SBJs "The Basics"
3iRiS9 "Cirque du freak"
B+ BONANZA

   


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Rosen_Rot]
    #23741392 - 10/16/16 02:39 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Bitches ain't nothing but hoes and tricks.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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OfflineLucisM
Nutritional Yeast

Registered: 03/28/15
Posts: 15,622
Last seen: 1 month, 29 days
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Sheekle]
    #23742423 - 10/16/16 12:36 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
a sign of a doomed relationship is fighting and anger





Anger towards your partner is not healthy if not dealt with, I think people are going to disagree from time to time though, which is actually healthy, it's just how you go about disagreeing which will have the most impact on your relationship in the long run.

If every time you disagree it's a yelling match, then that's not good at all.


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OfflineEnjoywho
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Registered: 07/06/09
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Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Sheekle]
    #23743014 - 10/16/16 04:01 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Sheekle said:
a sign of a doomed relationship is fighting and anger




Bingo.

I've been in quite a few. That lasted way too long. I'm from dysfunctional parents. If your not fighting than what's the point. I break people off when I feel too happy. This isn't how I'm supposed to feel. I'm actually happy so I create dysfunction.

Why I don't date much at all anymore. It's something I've been trying to deal with. It's not fair to the women or myself.


--------------------
"I don't give nothin' to nobody, I just pay the cost to do business." - Riley "Young Reezy"-Boondocks

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

"In the days of kings and queens I was a jester."

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OfflineThey
Stranger


Registered: 10/23/16
Posts: 146
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23768926 - 10/25/16 03:38 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Thisquestionpls said:
biggest signs of doomed relationship? Been in some real shitty ones. Some that I invested all my time and energy and it never began. some that did and I wish hadn't. But this one feels different. Makes the fighting and anger seem worth it.. Not sure if it is



Run.

Literally, fucking RUN!

I mean you could IN THEORY focus on more sex and massage and tactile intimacy, as opposed to verbalizing it all out like couples heading for divorce do, but if you're at this point, with this vibe, I'd say pack your shit, put a good last week of sex in (if there even fucking is any) and then run. Fly south. Find a bird that likes you and accepts you, not one that gives you grief and shit and stress. Let those kinds of people suffer among their own kind.

Friendly warning, been there a couple of times, done that, inevitably it takes A TON of emotional clean-up later on to pick up the pieces from the abuse you put yourself through now.



Quote:

Anonymous said:
Resentment and lack of trust..those were the biggest signs for me.

My last relationship was a complete disaster. I had caught what many people call "oneitis" for this shy, cute mousey chick I met at my college.
We just clicked in soo many ways and I was intensely attracted to her mysterious vibe, it was very alluring.
The third time we met up on campus, we ended up chilling in one of the halls as it got dark outside.
It was a lounge area with couches and stuff on the third floor.

I came on wayy too strong and ended up freaking the girl out and it was all down hill from there in terms of my "alpha male" status.
I apologized and she accepted it, but she still wasn't convinced.

I ended up being too clingy and looking for validation all the time, which amazingly she found "cute" and eventually we started dating.
After about 3 months of dating, with no sex, she tried to string me along into a LTR.
I flat out told her that we had a good mental and emotional connection, but without the physical part I can't commit.

If a girl doesn't put out by the third date or less, there is something wrong.
If she wants to keep you, and is genuinely turned on by you, she will sleep with you.
If not, she is getting her sexual desires (no matter how repressed), fulfilled by some other guy(s).

I don't take any BS from any college aged girls saying, "I have a bunch of guy friends, but they're all just friends, I only makeout with you!"
Hahaha, what kind of chode do I look like. Nexttt haha



Dude this mirrors SO CLOSELY my January-March relationship thing that I had, it's fucking uncanny. YOu're like my clone over there, it's amazing :laugh:

Common things that happened:
- stringing along
- no sex, no committing physically. some making out, but few and far between, just to string along
- I ended up looking for validation, chasing, was turned from a beautiful stallion magical unicorn smiling with no care in the world, to some tired desperate disillusioned sufferer chasing for this girl like the lowliest wuss

Or in all fairness, I turned myself into the latter, after the girl put enough lies and manipulating cunt moves in, to do the stringing along. And there were lies, factual to-my-face lies (or playing dumb) in order to keep that shit going.

Not necessarily is a girl banging other guys on the side if she won't put out for you, the girl I was going for was a virgin and she physically had no time to see other people, there was no time for other guys, out of the question. It's just that some girls may have more issues about sexuality (and the commitment that implies on their part, emotionally) than they'd have real perceived benefits from it. Maybe she had a few shit sex partners before, dated and banged a few morons, and is in no hurry to return to what she perceives that sex is, some abusive fucked up unenjoyable activity. If that's all she ever experienced that's what it is so far, to her. Even then I feel it's on her to say something straight and real about it, to talk it out, not to play dumb, avoid answers or string you along in some shmuck LTR with no sex, just tension and hopes and carrot dangling. Oh there MIGHT be some, but later. Always fucking later, never now.

Anyway regardless if she won't bang you due to other guys or due to own internal issues, if she's looking to string you along forever and keep you in tension like that, jumping through the hoops and here's the kicker, NEVER really validating you, just barely enough for you to bring in more energy, if that happens, RUN. Fucking run, run like the wind Kemosabe, run until your hooves and lovely mane are free again, joyfully playing in the wind :laugh:

Here, to remind other would-be heroes that want to stay the course in what is clearly a lost cause and doomed relationship, here's what I have to say:



THis is some art from a couple of days ago, STILL letting out anger and irritation and violent tendencies over a couple of these relationships, and the most recent one like that was over 6 MONTHS ago. I saw other girls, had adventures, it was a pretty fun summer, and STILL in the depths I have traces to fix, stemming from this kind of win-lose relationships, staying in the game far longer than was healthy or fun to do so.

Here some of my usual art, for comparison:







I am not some bitter angry woman-hater. I believe in the power and importance of love, connection, the worth of the divine feminine and the divine masculine as well. We can only thrive together with each other. I like to play, hug, be romantic and artistic, laugh smile and sing and dance. :laugh:

Am sure Anon 1 is a pretty cool dude as well, I for one would totally hang out :highfive:

But every once in a while we find these paranoid afraid-of-everything no-guy-is-ever-good-enough type of women, and I say when that happens, it's time to run. Give it a decent chance, listen to what the girl has to say, maybe she was traumatized, needs you to take it slower, that's all fine. But if you see that you're being played, given evasive stupid answers, get even the hint of stringing along, I say run like the everlasting wind and don't look back, run laughing, knowing what kind of a fantastic clusterfuck of a bullet you dodged there.

This is in no way gender oriented, both guys and gals can be real cunts sometimes, and if you feel that high-fear low-fun environment, if you feel the obsession building, I say just walk away, live to play another day :lol:

Final reminder, this is where toxic relationships end up. I just found these vids today, was not aware of them at the time of coming out.

Listen to Mel's voice and attitude there, see where this goes. Several more parts available in "related videos"



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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,812
Re: Toxic relationship [Re: They]
    #23768965 - 10/25/16 04:15 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

But every once in a while we find these paranoid afraid-of-everything no-guy-is-ever-good-enough type of women, and I say when that happens, it's time to run. Give it a decent chance, listen to what the girl has to say, maybe she was traumatized, needs you to take it slower, that's all fine. But if you see that you're being played, given evasive stupid answers, get even the hint of stringing along, I say run like the everlasting wind and don't look back, run laughing, knowing what kind of a fantastic clusterfuck of a bullet you dodged there.




Yeah man, awareness and numbness towards and of the truth is something that takes time to develop and discover.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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