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Avatarstateofmind
Stranger
Registered: 10/13/16
Posts: 3
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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My friend is driving me crazy! (RANT)
#23733017 - 10/13/16 01:37 AM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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I have a friend for whom I have some complicated feelings to say the least. We met during our first year of college and quickly bonded over shared interests. I had a bit of a crush on him, but I never told him and we had a falling out that I still don't really understand the cause of, but it was pretty upsetting for a while until it just kinda faded.
Fast forward 2 years to last winter and we meet again! We start talking again like old times and my feelings for him start to return. However, he has a girlfriend so I once again don't say anything.
In that time we had both become interested in psychedelics and decided to do shrooms together. I don't know why I thought doing shrooms with someone I had repressed feelings for was a good idea, just saying now sounds like a recipe for disaster.
While it wasn't the most uncomfortable trip I've ever experienced, it definitely wasn't the greatest either. We went to a park at night with his girlfriend trip-sitting, which I was uncomfortable with from the beginning, she knew next to nothing about psychedelics and had never been drunk or high in any way, and also obviously because I was hiding feelings for her boyfriend.
During the trip, this guy narrated his entire fucking experience to the point where I couldn't concentrate on my own! I got kinda disoriented and anxious for a little while at the height of the experience, but it faded as I came down and smoked some weed.
A week or so later, his girlfriend called me up crying and demanding to know if we were fucking. I've definitely never slept with him, and I had to reassure her about 20 times of this, though I don't think she believed me and I suspect she's still suspicious. Before this, a few of my friends told me they thought we were having an emotional affair, which I kinda agreed with, but rather than be honest with her I lied and said I'd never had any feelings for him. After this it was like a switch was flipped and the feelings just weren't worth holding onto if they were only going to cause me pain. I was also going through what I now think was a depressive episode caused by unrelated external factors.
Since then I've spent more time with him and he has progressively gotten more and more annoying to me! It's like we have the same conversations over and over again without coming up with new ideas, and it can get depressing because all we talk about is all the bad stuff happening in the world. I've talked to him about this and he seemed pretty understanding, but as time has gone on it seems like nothing has changed.
I know it probably sounds like I have some unresolved feelings, but I'm not sure what they are because now if I try to think about him romantically I just get kinda sick to my stomach, in a really bad sort of way, more like spiders than butterflies.
I'm almost done with college and I want to make the best of the time I have left because overall it has been pretty great. However, it feels like I'm stuck in some sort of emotional rut that hanging around this guy only deepens. When I'm with him, we debate the same stuff over and over to the point where I feel like we've reached some sort of stalemate and it puts me in a foul mood, when we're with other people he talks the whole time and I never really get the chance to meet new people because he doesn't give me or them a chance to talk, and when I'm not around him I'm stressing out about this situation.
Though my past few trips have been a bit anxiety-producing, I definitely wanna trip again, just not with him around. This presents a problem though as he's established himself as a regular member of my group of friends and it would probably come up accidentally if we all tripped without him. Also I want to try to resolve this issue before tripping again so it isn't weighing on my mind and I can actually move forward.
Tl;dr: I used to have feelings for my fellow psychonaut, but now he just annoys the hell out of me, he never stops talking, and I don't wanna trip with or around him anymore. Anyone else ever experience something like this? I'm lost
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tyrannicalrex
Strange R



Registered: 04/24/03
Posts: 38,323
Loc: subtropics
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yep, people will come and go throughout your life, and sometimes its best to just let people and things go. It hurts sometimes, and also may be necessary. Use the velvet brush if it's causing you so much distress, or talk it out with them and try to absolve the negative feelings and salvage some kind of relationship if you feel it is worth it.
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Seriously_trippin
Cosmic Guru Ganesh



Registered: 07/12/13
Posts: 14,473
Last seen: 2 hours, 54 minutes
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Yes some people I cannot trip with but it's not about that. If ur not into him anymore and he doesn't know it,you need to tell him.
-------------------- R.I.P Zombi3, Blue Helix Modest Mouse Zappa Slothie That Kid With The face ShLong Le Canard split_by_nine & Big Worm Forever Etched in the sands of time in the shroomery and ever so beloved and deeply missed by many
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hayabuser


Registered: 01/18/15
Posts: 1,073
Last seen: 5 years, 10 months
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How come your lost? You had feelings for him and, before diving into an relationship, came to realize he's not your type. Sounds like a win.
-------------------- Everything I post is (science)fiction.
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zZZz
jesus


Registered: 12/28/07
Posts: 33,478
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Re: My friend is driving me crazy! (RANT) [Re: hayabuser]
#23733036 - 10/13/16 02:06 AM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Maybe u should tell him to stfu.. Or u can bring it up when he starts talking too much.. Or maybe that might make him feel bad.. Idk dude I'd probably speak up more or just stop hanging around them..
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falsereality


Registered: 04/01/13
Posts: 4,112
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You should tell him he makes you feel uncomfortable.
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Morgenstern
WHAT!

Registered: 06/07/09
Posts: 6,450
Last seen: 5 months, 3 days
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Punch him in the fucking face and tell him to stop being a woman!
-------------------- Admins can't read graphs.
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Konyap

Registered: 06/30/07
Posts: 33,945
Loc: Planet Piss
Last seen: 4 years, 2 months
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Re: My friend is driving me crazy! (RANT) [Re: Morgenstern]
#23734879 - 10/13/16 05:48 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Did you try DSHSB?
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FruitOfLife
Professional Package Handler


Registered: 05/21/12
Posts: 4,832
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Re: My friend is driving me crazy! (RANT) [Re: Konyap]
#23734897 - 10/13/16 05:56 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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You put the image of spiders crawling around in my stomach and I hate you for that!
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musiclover420
psychonaut



Registered: 11/06/12
Posts: 19,563
Loc: PNW
Last seen: 2 years, 5 months
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Have you ever tripped solo? Sounds like that could be what you need, just start with a lower dose to be safe and spend the time reflecting.
Without any friends distracting you I bet you can work things out and decide what the best way to go from here is.
-------------------- Don't worry about me, I've got all that I need. And I'm singing my song to the sky You know how it feels, With the breeze of the sun in your eyes. Not minding that time's passing by I've got all and more, My smile, just as before. Is all that I carry with me I talk to myself, I need nobody else. I'm lost and I'm mine, yes I'm free
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azur
God of Fuck



Registered: 04/21/12
Posts: 28,103
Loc: Daid
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Quote:
Avatarstateofmind said: I have a friend for whom I have some complicated feelings to say the least. We met during our first year of college and quickly bonded over shared interests. I had a bit of a crush on him, but I never told him and we had a falling out that I still don't really understand the cause of, but it was pretty upsetting for a while until it just kinda faded.
Fast forward 2 years to last winter and we meet again! We start talking again like old times and my feelings for him start to return. However, he has a girlfriend so I once again don't say anything.
In that time we had both become interested in psychedelics and decided to do shrooms together. I don't know why I thought doing shrooms with someone I had repressed feelings for was a good idea, just saying now sounds like a recipe for disaster.
While it wasn't the most uncomfortable trip I've ever experienced, it definitely wasn't the greatest either. We went to a park at night with his girlfriend trip-sitting, which I was uncomfortable with from the beginning, she knew next to nothing about psychedelics and had never been drunk or high in any way, and also obviously because I was hiding feelings for her boyfriend.
During the trip, this guy narrated his entire fucking experience to the point where I couldn't concentrate on my own! I got kinda disoriented and anxious for a little while at the height of the experience, but it faded as I came down and smoked some weed.
A week or so later, his girlfriend called me up crying and demanding to know if we were fucking. I've definitely never slept with him, and I had to reassure her about 20 times of this, though I don't think she believed me and I suspect she's still suspicious. Before this, a few of my friends told me they thought we were having an emotional affair, which I kinda agreed with, but rather than be honest with her I lied and said I'd never had any feelings for him. After this it was like a switch was flipped and the feelings just weren't worth holding onto if they were only going to cause me pain. I was also going through what I now think was a depressive episode caused by unrelated external factors.
Since then I've spent more time with him and he has progressively gotten more and more annoying to me! It's like we have the same conversations over and over again without coming up with new ideas, and it can get depressing because all we talk about is all the bad stuff happening in the world. I've talked to him about this and he seemed pretty understanding, but as time has gone on it seems like nothing has changed.
I know it probably sounds like I have some unresolved feelings, but I'm not sure what they are because now if I try to think about him romantically I just get kinda sick to my stomach, in a really bad sort of way, more like spiders than butterflies.
I'm almost done with college and I want to make the best of the time I have left because overall it has been pretty great. However, it feels like I'm stuck in some sort of emotional rut that hanging around this guy only deepens. When I'm with him, we debate the same stuff over and over to the point where I feel like we've reached some sort of stalemate and it puts me in a foul mood, when we're with other people he talks the whole time and I never really get the chance to meet new people because he doesn't give me or them a chance to talk, and when I'm not around him I'm stressing out about this situation.
Though my past few trips have been a bit anxiety-producing, I definitely wanna trip again, just not with him around. This presents a problem though as he's established himself as a regular member of my group of friends and it would probably come up accidentally if we all tripped without him. Also I want to try to resolve this issue before tripping again so it isn't weighing on my mind and I can actually move forward.
Tl;dr: I used to have feelings for my fellow psychonaut, but now he just annoys the hell out of me, he never stops talking, and I don't wanna trip with or around him anymore. Anyone else ever experience something like this? I'm lost
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spirit_shadow
Feature not a bug



Registered: 08/15/11
Posts: 25,674
Last seen: 5 hours, 1 minute
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Re: My friend is driving me crazy! (RANT) [Re: azur]
#23735357 - 10/13/16 08:49 PM (7 years, 3 months ago) |
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Well there's your problem...you could still understand what he was saying. You clearly didnt eat enough mushrooms.
-------------------- ERROR 418 IM A TEAPOT.....(this account is automated, all posts related to illegal activities or advice thereof are strictly from numerous online sites and are for informational purposes only)- Circa 2011 Ban lotto
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