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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Should I Be Worried?
    #23709310 - 10/05/16 09:11 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Back in March I was in the hospital for 6 weeks due to an abscessed renal cyst that was drug resistant.  Ever since Ive been hesitant to go to the doctor.

At the time I had an enlarged lymph node on my neck that first moved further back behind my ear, then almost completely disappeared.  it was palpable and not painful.  Has been present for less than 6 months.

Also worth mentioning is the last time I relapsed:  after a night fueled by heroin, i woke up the next morning with my eye stuck looking outward.  The eye doctor did not understand why and it resolved on its own after a day.

Lately (the past month) after vaping oil or eating kratom, especially at night, i can "hear" my heartbeat in my ears.  A whooshing sound matched to pulse, it can be persistent and loud and be accompanied by pressure and intermittent tinnitus. 


Would you be concerned enough to seek medical treatment?


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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OfflineSpiralspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23709928 - 10/05/16 01:05 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Isnt that Labyrintitus?

I think I have it, the pulsation in the ears.
Do some search about labyrinthitis or labyrintitus.

maybe it has to do with colestherol and high fat in your veins.

But if your consuming heroin it can be more serious...


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: Spiralspider]
    #23712180 - 10/06/16 05:53 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

While that's very fitting giving the time table after kidney infection the similarities end there.

There's no dizziness and it hasn't resolved in weeks, it's been around for over a month.

Last time I used was 14 months ago, and before that I had years in between relapses.  Heroin is the opposite of in my life, so while I am not dismissing it, I don't think it's a factor.

I will continue to delve into this, though. :strokebeard: Thanks


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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Offlinelwheidt
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23712229 - 10/06/16 06:40 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

If you can easily afford medical help, why risk it? Its sounds to me their could be some physical problems and mental problems that aren't going to fix themselves. Gets some tests done, get healthy, get off shitty drugs, get well soon!


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-bridgesii guy


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: lwheidt]
    #23712242 - 10/06/16 06:46 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

off shifty drugs.  im freaked it might be a brain tumor or issue with my heart, so havent gone to doctor.  so decided to ask shroomery.  thank you for well wishes:mushroom2:


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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Offlinepodball
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23718245 - 10/08/16 12:33 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I realize this is probably one of the weirder first posts on a forum, but I've been a lurker here for years and figured "why not". When I read your post it immediately reminded me of "me", many years ago right down to the swollen lymph node and tinnitus; though thankfully I didn't have a cyst or any problem with my eyes. Nonetheless, years later I still suffer from a very bad case of permanent hearing loss and tinnitus. I too was freaked out that I had a brain tumor or cancer in some other area of my body that metastasized to my brain. Compounding the fact is that I now work in the health care field and see these cases day-in-day-out. Yet here I am, years later and still cancer free, that I'm aware know of LOL!

When I first sought treatment for a whooshing sound that matched my pulse and a constant "ringing in my ears", I was told that I was suffering from panic attacks. This turned out to be correct and explained many of the symptoms I was having at the time. Unfortunately the tinnitus is still present, and very bad, but I know specifically what caused that. Anyway, the whooshing sound is nothing to be concerned about. It is most likely related to a higher than normal blood pressure you're experiencing at that time. The same goes for the sensation of pressure; which again is almost certainly indicative of a higher than normal blood pressure. Tinnitus can be caused by a great many things and when its intermittent, it's usually nothing to be concerned about. If it only occurs when the other symptoms appear, again it's probably down to blood pressure.

Depending on your age and physical health, but primarily you age, the chances of you having a brain tumor are exceedingly low. With the imaging technology available today, if this is something you're concerned about I highly recommend that you seek out an MRI or CT scan at your earliest convenience. An absolutely astounding number of cancers are now curable for the simple fact that they can be detected at the earliest stages of growth. The chances of finding one of the very rare non-treatable brain tumors, or any malignancy for that matter is VERY low. What you do have a good chance of however is experiencing way more severe symptoms if you actually had some type of brain tumor.

The last thing I cannot recommend more is to stop reading medical information on the internet. I drove myself nuts trying to self-diagnose my symptoms. You always end up thinking you've got the worst of the worst because "holy shit I've got 4/5 of these symptoms". The fact is, a diagnosis for a complex medical condition, like cancer, doesn't work like that. Just because you have some or all of a list of primary symptoms doesn't mean it stands up against a differential diagnosis. Don't be afraid of seeing a doctor and telling him exactly what you want. If you're genuinely worried about something, ask them to order a MRI or CT scan of whatever it is you're worried about. It's always better to know in the end. Because on the very slim chance that it actually is something, you can catch it early and get treatment for it.

Finally, don't take anything I or anyone else says as fact when it concerns your health. I know its scary when you think you're about to drop dead of a heart attack or that you've only got 6 months left, but the chance of anything like that happening is really low. Find a friendly doctor, if you don't already have one, and just explain your fears. If the doctor is dismissive in any way, drop them fast and find a different one.

I hope some of this has at least eased you fears somewhat and helps put your mind at ease. I'm not one for social interaction online, but I know how hard it can be when you're freaking out and don't know where to turn. I hope you feel better and seriously, stop reading shit on WebMD! :smile:


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23719391 - 10/08/16 12:48 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Yeah dude it sounds like plain on high blood pressure, or blood pressure spikes. Do you eat shortly before bed? Do you smoke at all?


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23719798 - 10/08/16 03:09 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Wow podball, what a thoughtful, detailed response- thank you!

I don't self diagnose with web md, but I certainly googled 'heartbeat in ears' when it first began.

The hospital stay and battling infection has truly shaken me.  Out of fear of a poor prognosis I've avoided the doctor.. tbh I'm sick of doctors.

Haha you pinpointed my two vices, CookieCrumbs: Occasional night binging and half a pack a day habit.

However I eat organic and excersize, lots of cardio daily and light resistance strength training three times a week.
In addition to diet and activity I take healthy living supements- specifically omegas and ubiquinol, nattikinase, ALA and NAC, probiotic and multi as heart disease is rampant on both sides of family. 

I have been thinking it's my Bp, as when it happens my heart feels 'tired'.. don't know how else to explain just completely fatigued and exhausted. In need of rest.

Weight is healthy, almost 29.  I know I need to quit smoking (14 years is disgusting) but thinking about it makes me smoke more.  If it counts for anything, my cigs are organic and additive free, so no rat poison, drain cleaner, etc (I don't believe they're healthy, just cleaner).  Aside from the kidney incident, I never get sick, people are usually very surprised when they find out I smoke:sad:


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23719897 - 10/08/16 03:49 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I know the feel man I have the same problem.

Try to make sure you don't eat at least 2 hours before bed. Digestion temporarily raises your blood pressure. And if hearing/noticing it makes you anxious that further raises your blood pressure. I personally also try not to smoke 2-3 hours before bed, but I know that one is tough. I notice I can often relax more if I haven't recently smoked too, as strange as that sounds.

On occasion I will take some valerian root and I've noticed that it does lower my blood pressure if it is related to anxiety. That helps me sleep. But I need to sleep within the cusp of it being active because as it wears off I strangely feel more awake and with higher blood pressure than before.


It sounds like you are already taking alot of steps one would recommend in reducing your overall blood pressure so if cutting back nightly smoking and eating (also, avoid caffeine in the afternoon) and you're still noticing the spikes then go ahead and see a doc. I would also recommend buying a little electronic blood pressure machine if you can, since doctors tend not to take spikes seriously unless you have a record. Hopefully they would with your family history and investigate a bit more. But until all that I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just do what you can to manage it and if it's still happening a couple months down the road then go ahead an get checked out.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23721469 - 10/09/16 08:46 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

That put it in perspective, thank you for setting my mind at ease somewhat.

Last night I tried skipping my evening dose of kratom and didn't eat after 8.  Still heard whooshing and didn't sleep.

Rains jacking up my pain levels.

Plan to go to doctor, but will remain calm until.  I shall update thread if I find out what's up.


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23724566 - 10/10/16 09:21 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Don't skip your kratom dose if you need it for pain. Pain also drives your blood pressure up. If you need an evening dose and it upsets your stomach if you don't eat go for something light, like a few crackers or a handful of cornflakes.


--------------------
          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23749789 - 10/18/16 06:35 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Yeh it's difficult not to eat because my pain tends to flare at night, then lingers until eating my am dose of kratom. 

So I believe it is safe to say, the whooshing has vanished.. left without a trace as mysteriously as it began.  I was camping over the weekend at a festival and these kids were keeping me up all night.  So while trying to sleep but lying there awake, I then realized that the racing pulse in my ears was gone.. I would think dancing, hiking up and down steep inclines, and indulging in various unmentionables would jack up my Bp, but I am happy to report being symptom free. :bananahorsey:

The last time it happened I did indeed check my Bp with a digital automatic cuff: 145/97 and that was while resting before eating kratom/drinking coffee for the day.


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23749920 - 10/18/16 07:18 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

:sambergfive: Nice glad youre feeling better


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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OfflineThey
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23763234 - 10/23/16 05:00 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Soooo we have heroin, kratom, smoking cigs and a lot of fear and worry language.

I have a way of pushing things into the present, showing people their real preferences and priorities. Doesn't always end pretty but at least they hear themselves speak their own truth :smile:

You say you "know you need to" quit smoking. This is a very cheap mental trick I've seen a lot of smokers do, in order to generate more smoking guilt that they then use as a basis for more smoking. This is the kind of convoluted roundabout language and thinking that I've seen so much in smokers, it's now completely amusing to me :smile:

But if you wish to play I'll play.

Riddle me this, riddle me that. Do you WANT to quit or not?

Keep it monosyllabic, the answer on this one, and know that "yes-but-later" = no. Which is fine.

Also we live in the present moment. Speak what you want now. If it's a no, that's fine, just own it. Maybe tomorrow or next week or year it will be yes. Whatever it is today, accept it and own it and enjoy :wink:

Just get one thing clear, you absolutely positively do NOT need to quit anything. Not until you WANT to. Saying you "need to" means something like "i feel pressure from outside to do it, but I resent the pressure and I myself don't want to, so I won't."

Rather than all that noise, simply say if you want or if you don't, realize that both are fine, and enjoy whatever option you choose :heart: :smile:

Oh and fun fact, the more nicotine you have in your system as you try to answer "do you want to" questions, the harder it will be to give clear monosyllabic answers. Ask any kid, they have clear polarized yes/no. Ask a smoker, INVARIABLY you get yadda-yadda signals, or have to ask 2-3 times, bunch of neurological noise in the way. Those are the games being played there :wink:

If you need some more interesting data on your smoking, do the following experiment: Smoke one cigarette, from start to finish, with eyes closed. No TV or radio in the background to distract and split attention with, no eyes-open to split attention towards visual, just do ONE cig with proper focus, start to finish, really enjoy the taste and aroma of it. I mean you are smoking them, might as well enjoy them fully :smile:

There's more to say about the kratom and heroin, both these and the smoking have the same source, emotional self-avoidance, keeping brain occupied, attention split, so as to not feel what's really down there in your abdomen, any deeper emotions. Which is the same head-in-the-sand process as you do with avoiding the doctor, for fear of what they may have to say. Try to see how ludicrous it is to avoid looking at one's gas level indicator, for fear of not having enough gas. Avoiding the data, as if that makes more gas in the tank :smile:


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: They] * 1
    #23763311 - 10/23/16 06:28 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Hi Spacerific:hi:

While I do appreciate the sentiment, one thing I never fail to notice about anti smokers is just how aggressively they tend to point out flaws.

You're right, saying I need to quit pushes the issue away from the present, however if you delve to research the subject, quitting and staying quit takes much forethought and preparation.  Just like how loosing too much weight too quickly always backfires, hustling to rid demons fails to arm a user with what to expect when they quit.

I am the healthiest smoker out there, eat and excersize well, and practice meditation on the daily.  So I am already on not allowing myself to multi task while smoking - you're right, it's quite effective in smoking less.

So I am a sales/retail manager by profession, I have a region and work with a lot of individuals to help them run their stores.  I will be the first to admit that the majority of people are operating from behind a smoke screen and need a wake up call in order to see the clear picture.  But then there are individuals that falter and fail horribly when micromanaged and to an extent rebel, usually quit or end up being fired.  This isn't a one size fits all situation, and your kick in the ass is just that - a kick in the ass after I lay down and expose my shortcomings.  I function by ignoring outside 'noise' and self governing, theres no one who is harder on me than myself.  One thing I will enlighten you on that I have learned from personal experience, shame and guilt are crippling when you are your own worst enemy, and they empower addictions, disarm resilience.  It is so western to believe one must 'shape up or ship out' and it clearly shows in your demeanor, despite all of your wishy washy wording.

You know what works in defeating addictions?  Conquest of shame and empowerment through resilience.. fortifying support systems.  So harping on how I am fooling myself, ripping apart and pointing out my flaws after I have disarmed myself here... they are low blows.

Of course I want to quit.  My health aside, I lost an aunt recently to lung cancer, she smoked from start to finish.  Did it help me quit?  No, it shamed me into being an addict.

It's detrimental and at the very least unhelpful, maybe you would have better luck going to church to pray for my soul.

As mentioned in this thread, I am not a heroin addict, that monkey was ripped from my shoulder long ago.  Def not a kratom addict, I am blessed for the time being to have kratom be an effective tool in managing my pain.    Does a cancer patient come across as a chemo addict to you if they are proactive in getting better?


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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OfflineThey
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23764041 - 10/23/16 11:35 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:


While I do appreciate the sentiment, one thing I never fail to notice about anti smokers is just how aggressively they tend to point out flaws.



Who said anything about flaws?

I am simply pointing out a certain shape of your neural net that you've put together, and where your own maps of the world don't help you, but just guilt and shame you.

Am not saying that it's "bad" the way you are functioning now and you should be ashamed of it. On the contrary, allow it to persist for as long as you see fit and find wise to do so, change at the pace you are comfy with, if you even need to change anything at all.

Simply own it, express it, be direct about what you want or don't want, and it will all be a lot less stressful / shameful / guilt-producing :smile:

Quote:


Of course I want to quit.  My health aside, I lost an aunt recently to lung cancer, she smoked from start to finish.



Ok, so now having that data on hand, what is your current plan on smoking, if you have any?

Just follow the rabbit hole, whatever it is, wherever it goes. How has that piece of data affected your outlook. Did you just make more fear guilt tension, or did you actually design a desired outcome stemming from it?

I mean there's only two ends of that spectrum, making tension guilt worry on one end, OR making design on the other. Where you at with this? If you're designing, then what? If just making that other crap and tension, then this is a most friendly invitation to stop that (As it's fruitless) and start designing instead :smile:

Quote:

Did it help me quit?  No, it shamed me into being an addict.




"It" didn't do anything to you. You shamed yourself, you use that data as an incentive to self-shame, or to design some other path, some other lifestyle. The dead aunt didn't make the shame, is all I'm saying. YOU make these internal responses, what you do as reaction to circumstances and events, and it can be either actual change of behaviors, or it can be "guilt and shame about not changing the behaviors" - which as you can see is neither comfortable, nor fun nor useful, just unhealthy.

Am not saying this to shame you about the shaming, or to guilt you about the guilt, I am simply saying this to point out you have the steering wheel on this, you hold the puppet lines, they're not held by anyone external. Aunt is dead (RIP) so who other than you would be doing it?

I believe you want to quit smoking. I do. I know you do.

Now please notice that you also have other wants, that are competing with the quitting, and while those are more intense, the quitting won't be the main priority. So in the interest of transparency, simply do some analysis of what these other wants would be.

What do you currently like more about the smoking, than you do about the health and money benefits of quitting?

Chances are "quitting smoking" is on a list of things you want, and it's not number 1, it's actually number 2. Smoking being number 1.

Can you agree on that?

And if so, are you flexible enough about that number 1, to realize that it's not really smoking you want, as much as "a way to relax and breathe at-ease when stressed anxious bored or worried?"

Are you seeing how smoking is just one way to do this, perhaps your most familiar way, but there are in fact many others, if you open up a bit?

Furthermore, are you seeing how when I speak about quitting smoking, you might interpret that as having NO WAY of doing that, when in fact I simply mean having a less toxic way of doing it?

Take some time and explore around that, the preparation you consider is necessary may well be the extending of your repertoire, about ways to relax, de-stress and fill boredom. As soon as you find more keys on that piano, you won't just repetitively press the same one over and over :smile:


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: They]
    #23764103 - 10/23/16 12:06 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Yes yes quitting smoking is a huge mental game but if you're not ready then no one can talk you into quitting. At least not strangers.


You offer good advice, but I think it's a moot point here.


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          :dancingbear: Free time is the only time :dancingbear:                    :thatsinteresting:


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OfflineThey
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23764126 - 10/23/16 12:15 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Yes yes quitting smoking is a huge mental game but if you're not ready then no one can talk you into quitting. At least not strangers.


You offer good advice, but I think it's a moot point here.



Am not talking anybody into anything, am just offering a game here, which can be played or not, as one wishes.

I have talked strangers into quitting before, but generally I do that for girls I wish to play with, or people who pay me to help them with quitting, neither of which is the case here. So it's really of no consequence to me if he quits or stays his course. I just like the game in itself, and think it is relevant to the thread, the "Should I be worried?" part.

Since smoking does support emotional disconnection and OP seems to be doing this fact-avoidance thing in several ways, might help to analyze how that whole pattern plays out in general :smile:


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Invisiblebirdeatingspider
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: They]
    #23766263 - 10/24/16 09:29 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I second that this is moot, hence not having much of a response.  This thread was about fear of my heart exploding, not fear of cigarettes.  You completely derailed the topic and incessantly questioned my values. 

Not denying that you have good intentions here, but your holier than thou persona is not helpful. Might want to refine that a bit:smile:

Btw gloating about how you manipulate women really makes you come across as a tool.


--------------------

From all I may be, or have been before,
To mingle with the Universe, and feel
What I can ne’er express, yet cannot all conceal.


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OfflineThey
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Re: Should I Be Worried? [Re: birdeatingspider]
    #23766932 - 10/24/16 02:02 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Aight then, let's get back to exploding hearts and other organs :smile:

You mention you were reluctant to go to the doctor after a drug resistant cyst.

Now you're considering going for a heart check. How are the two connected? Or are you saying in general you're reluctant to go to doctors for fear of anything they might find, connected or not to previous issues?

Never had heart issues, but I for one if I had troubles only when I use drugs, I'd take a break from them and see if there's any problems at all while sober. If all works fine, I wouldn't go.

By the way do you work on relaxation at all? Meditation I mean, or some kind of Tai Chi - like, slow mindful movement? This goes to high blood pressure, if that's a factor as was mentioned above. In general developing a solid practice of actively slowing down, coming back to the here and now, learning to silence the DMN and activating TPN, that's one of the best things you can do for your heart on the long run.

Quote:

gloating about how you manipulate women really makes you come across as a tool.




Where did that come from? I find smoking disgusting, I don't want or accept it in my presence. If I meet girls that I click with, I force the choice. You light up I leave. What generally gets postponed for later, always later, want to quit but not today, BECOMES today. Light up, we are done. Choose us or choose cig, either is fine but you can't have both. No manipulation involved, free will is expressed on both sides with no restrictions. Only worked a couple of times so far, most choose the cigs, but the times that it did work, I'd say I did those girls a HUGE service, and am confident they wouldn't have quit otherwise. Very creative spin on your end, I help people quit a filthy self-destructive habit and I'm called manipulative and a tool for it :lol:

Is it not obvious that if more people applied this "You drink I leave" or "You smoke I leave" attitude, there'd be a lot less smokers and alcoholics around? It's that "tolerance" that makes it possible to start the habit, grow it, continuously drag it on and on and on again, for years and years and decades, because someone's not being decisive and agrees to put up with it. Anyway. Not a smoking thread, just wanted to respond to that weird accusation.


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