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InvisibleAlexthegreat
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Registered: 09/17/15
Posts: 2,670
Loc: United States Flag
I need advice.
    #23707608 - 10/04/16 05:42 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I have a seizure disorder and it causes me to black out and fall. It's not grand mal because it's very brief. Well, my gf has been putting up with it for five years now. I get a job, stay with it and have a seizure, sometimes get injured, and have to find a new job. I feel like I'm leaching off my gf and it is killing me.

I love her and really want what's best for her. Part of me wants to leave her so she can continue and move forward in her life. The other part of me knows it would destroy me if I left her and my amazing dog. They have got me through multiple times of unemployment and my gf has supported me financially. She deserves better than me and is a selfless, loving person.

My whole family has offered to house me and help me get back on my feet but they are all bat shit crazy. I am the black sheep of the family because I don't have a lot of their negative qualities such as manipulation, selfishness are two examples. I'm wondering if it's worth it to move back in for a short time and out of with the craziness that my mom brings. I'm sure plenty of people have crazy families, some probably worse than mine.

Please people, I really need constructive feedback. Especially from some of the older, more mature shroomerites. How would y'all handle the situation? No trolling responses or telling me to just suck it up. Fuck you if you try to bring that shit to this thread.


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InvisibleAroundtheSon
Learning to See
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
Re: I need advice. [Re: Alexthegreat]
    #23707688 - 10/04/16 06:18 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

If the words you wrote are true, your girlfriend appears very blessed despite what she tolerates from you. The highest form of love, in my humble opinion, is one that wants their lover to soar the greatest heights - even if it means with out them.

Internet is great for bouncing ideas around, but it will never replace genuine communication among lovers. Talk to your lover, be genuine, show her your post. Let her know your feelings. You might be surprised in knowing her reasons to stay - I doubt it is out of pity - that shit don't last too long.

My grandma used to have that old poem on her bathroom wall. You probably know it already. If you love something, set it free, if it returns it was meant to be...or something. I don't think you have to do this in a formal way, but if it's important to you, check in with her, let her know how you feel, and let her make up her mind (but honestly, actions speak louder than words, what do you need to hear???).

Just the ramblings of a man learning.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: I need advice. [Re: AroundtheSon]
    #23707729 - 10/04/16 06:34 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

If your GF was in an accident, and ended up wheelchair bound for the rest of her life, do you think it would be the right thing on her part for her to 'set you free' by leaving you? How would it make you feel if she did that?


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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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InvisibleAlexthegreat
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Registered: 09/17/15
Posts: 2,670
Loc: United States Flag
Re: I need advice. [Re: AroundtheSon]
    #23707753 - 10/04/16 06:42 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Every word is true. I understand the message in the poem and agree with it to an extent. We have and continue to talk about it. I need to hear what is best for her even if it's what I don't want to hear.
I'm taking he appropriate corrective actions to help with my health and have a plan on how I am going to bounce back and move forward but I just have this terrible feeling inside me that I'm no good for her.

I really appreciate your response and feedback. Your ramblings make a difference.


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InvisibleAlexthegreat
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Registered: 09/17/15
Posts: 2,670
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Re: I need advice. [Re: Jokeshopbeard]
    #23707770 - 10/04/16 06:48 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Man if would be shitty if she did that. Although being in a wheelchair is different than epilepsy, love is blind. I can't imagine a life without her. It's easier to say since I'm not experiencing it but we have been together for five years and got through hard times when others would have given up. I really don't know if leaving is the correct thing to do.


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InvisibleAroundtheSon
Learning to See
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Registered: 01/11/07
Posts: 4,427
Loc: Midwest.
Re: I need advice. [Re: Alexthegreat] * 1
    #23707775 - 10/04/16 06:49 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

The feelings inside are similar to those we all have from time to time. Am I good enough? Do I deserve this?

Not sure I can honestly answer that. I didn't earn or do anything special to receive the blessings I have, and the people that love me.

This stuff is nonsensical really. The meek shall inherit the earth? Blessed are the poor in spirit? The least is the greatest? Stuff doesn't always make sense to a logical brain, but love surpasses all understanding. Count your blessings my brother, and be the best man you can be. Even if you don't contribute much monetarily (now?), life is much more than green backs.

Sounds like you got a decent woman. And she got a decent man.

Much love to you and yours.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: I need advice. [Re: AroundtheSon]
    #23707784 - 10/04/16 06:53 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

AroundtheSon said:
love surpasses all understanding




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Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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