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InvisibleModestMouse
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Women on masturbation
    #23703243 - 10/03/16 11:22 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Why are chicks way more secretive and private about admitting to mastubating?
Why are so many of them unable to get themselves to cum?

Atleast in my experience women seem to be a bit challenged with self pleasure, at least more women than men.


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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: ModestMouse]
    #23703282 - 10/03/16 11:34 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Why cant they climax solo?

Probably because the vibrator wont listen to them talk about themselves for hours on end beforehand. Not even joking either. Women like the mental aspect of sex predominently. If you dont get them fired up mentally the climax is usually non existent.

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: ModestMouse] * 2
    #23703300 - 10/03/16 11:39 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Well as in all situations of group psychology the answer is complicated and varies alot from person to person.

But on just talking about sex or anything related to sex men are much more open. It is common, it is accepted, its expected. The boys will be boys idea extends into adulthood. Men are much more likely to talk about their own bodily functions, and statistically spend more time thinking about their bodily functions than women. Men are more likely to talk about sex and sex organs than women. Honestly, closed doors or not, men spend much more time talking about their own dicks than women do.

Double standards exist everywhere. Open and blunt sexuality is only accepted or common in certain womens circles (and they themselves are not common.)

I'm constantly reminding people you can't undo centuries of social programming in 50 odd years. Women are far more sexually open, considered to have a sexuality, than decades ago, but aren't quite up to par with men. And considering that 'being a lady' is still very important in a number of social standings I don't know if women as a whole will ever be on par with men and their penis jokes.


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Offlineqman
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 2
    #23703389 - 10/03/16 12:02 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Well as in all situations of group psychology the answer is complicated and varies alot from person to person.

But on just talking about sex or anything related to sex men are much more open. It is common, it is accepted, its expected. The boys will be boys idea extends into adulthood. Men are much more likely to talk about their own bodily functions, and statistically spend more time thinking about their bodily functions than women. Men are more likely to talk about sex and sex organs than women. Honestly, closed doors or not, men spend much more time talking about their own dicks than women do.

Double standards exist everywhere. Open and blunt sexuality is only accepted or common in certain womens circles (and they themselves are not common.)

I'm constantly reminding people you can't undo centuries of social programming in 50 odd years. Women are far more sexually open, considered to have a sexuality, than decades ago, but aren't quite up to par with men. And considering that 'being a lady' is still very important in a number of social standings I don't know if women as a whole will ever be on par with men and their penis jokes.




"social programming"

Again, you go down this speculative line of reasoning, this is more biological programming than "social programming".

Women know that males do not find outwardly sexually aggressive females attractive, this is based in genetics, it's not something BOTH males and females universally agreed upon in ALL human cultures across the whole globe for thousands of years.

Your issue should be with mother nature, not "social programming'.

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: qman] * 1
    #23703428 - 10/03/16 12:20 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Partly yes. But there are instances in societies where males are not sexually agressive. Human beings have evolved well beyond instinct. If we had not then we would not be spending most of our lives indoors staring at screens.

So I will give you the foundation likely does start in instinct and the nature of primitive man. But the allowance of society largely determines the words that come out of our mouths. Do you think men would so freely talk of jerking it if it were looked down upon in settings outside of professional and many public places? I don't.


And at the same time I think women would talk more of their own sexuality if there were not often stigmatisms attached. "Why would a pretty girl need to masturbate? She could surely find a man to satsify her." whether explicit or implied that is something that comes from society. It is considered unbecoming of a lady, who should not be focused on such thoughts to begin with.

Men are indeed wired to focus upon bodily need. That is partly why society accepts their open sexuality. Women are more focused upon their emotional need and that is why society is more shocked when a woman speaks of her sexuality. Yes it is founded in instinct but everything thereafter is just social regulations.


We could flip that logic to the other side and say that is also why women are more expected to shed tears but people are shocked by a man openly crying. It is in large part why it is more difficult for men to cry. It's not because they don't have emotions, it is because society has taught them not to.


I hope we as a society can overcome both. They're unnecessary.


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Invisiblefalsereality


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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23703459 - 10/03/16 12:29 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Because for men, masturbation is more physical than emotional, vs women finding it more emotional than physical -- much like actual sex. At least from what I've read and experienced IRL.

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #23703468 - 10/03/16 12:34 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Why cant they climax solo?

Probably because the vibrator wont listen to them talk about themselves for hours on end beforehand. Not even joking either. Women like the mental aspect of sex predominently. If you dont get them fired up mentally the climax is usually non existent.




And while this is not entirely untrue it's not wholly true either.

Women's emotions often get in the way of sex and climax. A woman who struggles in this has a hard time letting go and focusing purely on the physical sensations, on the pleasure derived vs the feelings and thoughts in her head. This is why women are actually advised to "practice" on their own, to learn how to let go.


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OfflineEzuma
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: ModestMouse] * 1
    #23703473 - 10/03/16 12:38 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Mixture of cultural factors, personal factors and no doubt differences in sexual motivation.
I know women who don't masturbate and have not even tried, I don't know any men where that's the case. The entire sex drive is different for women imo though

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InvisibleBodhi of Ankou
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23703488 - 10/03/16 12:45 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Youre not as seperated from animal instinct as you think you are. You dont tell yourself to think thoughts or breath. Promescuity in females is frowned upon more then men, because youre the ones that bear the kids, and its an unfavourable trait to look for in a potential mate. Were also required to be open because we make the moves. Which is an instinctual thing. You see this across literally every species out there. Are you gonna tell me bower birds are in on the evil patriarchy grind too?

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #23703506 - 10/03/16 12:50 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Women statistically think of sex as often as men.
It's just the focus on desire is different. Women tend not to focus on release, it especially helps she does not have to worry about taking care of blue balls and erections. Ejaculation is not her end goal. Which seems to make men fear women for some reason...

It's quite hard to say just how much is instinct and how much is society but I do think it's a little of both.

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Youre not as seperated from animal instinct as you think you are. You dont tell yourself to think thoughts or breath. Promescuity in females is frowned upon more then men, because youre the ones that bear the kids, and its an unfavourable trait to look for in a potential mate. Were also required to be open because we make the moves. Which is an instinctual thing. You see this across literally every species out there. Are you gonna tell me bower birds are in on the evil patriarchy grind too?




What... No I'm not denying there's a large base in instinct. But language is not instinctual, it is learned. How we use language is also a learned behavior. I've known plenty of men to love promiscuous women. Perhaps only because it is different. Perhaps as a male it screams out as a high potential for a mate. The end reason men are so obsessed with releaving their sexual desires is also instinct, so on that note they should love promiscuous women yes?


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OfflineEzuma
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: Bodhi of Ankou]
    #23703513 - 10/03/16 12:51 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Youre not as seperated from animal instinct as you think you are. You dont tell yourself to think thoughts or breath. Promescuity in females is frowned upon more then men, because youre the ones that bear the kids, and its an unfavourable trait to look for in a potential mate. Were also required to be open because we make the moves. Which is an instinctual thing. You see this across literally every species out there. Are you gonna tell me bower birds are in on the evil patriarchy grind too?




to a degree but culture is involved. IMO men would be super forward in a 'natural state' too, but women would probably be less inhibited as before land ownership there's no particular reason to require monogamy, and humans living in close knit groups could well have had a somewhat bonobo-like approach to sexuality. That said, they could have been like chimps too, there's no real solid evidence obviously as this would all be way pre-history

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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: Ezuma]
    #23703593 - 10/03/16 01:19 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I feel like the girls that have mastered the art of masturbation though, are probably like just off the chain with it lol


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Offlineqman
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #23703615 - 10/03/16 01:25 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Women statistically think of sex as often as men.
It's just the focus on desire is different. Women tend not to focus on release, it especially helps she does not have to worry about taking care of blue balls and erections. Ejaculation is not her end goal. Which seems to make men fear women for some reason...

It's quite hard to say just how much is instinct and how much is society but I do think it's a little of both.

Quote:

Bodhi of Ankou said:
Youre not as seperated from animal instinct as you think you are. You dont tell yourself to think thoughts or breath. Promescuity in females is frowned upon more then men, because youre the ones that bear the kids, and its an unfavourable trait to look for in a potential mate. Were also required to be open because we make the moves. Which is an instinctual thing. You see this across literally every species out there. Are you gonna tell me bower birds are in on the evil patriarchy grind too?




What... No I'm not denying there's a large base in instinct. But language is not instinctual, it is learned. How we use language is also a learned behavior. I've known plenty of men to love promiscuous women. Perhaps only because it is different. Perhaps as a male it screams out as a high potential for a mate. The end reason men are so obsessed with releaving their sexual desires is also instinct, so on that note they should love promiscuous women yes?




"they should love promiscuous women yes?"

They might love passing their DNA to promiscuous women because that act offers greater probability for those genetics to carry on down the road.

The problem remains when they begin to question whether to invest in a female who might not being carrying on your DNA, but some other males DNA. That's where the instinct and "double standards" of human sexuality begin in enter the equation.

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Invisiblepirate-blues
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: ModestMouse] * 3
    #23703620 - 10/03/16 01:26 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

falsereality said:
Because for men, masturbation is more physical than emotional, vs women finding it more emotional than physical -- much like actual sex. At least from what I've read and experienced IRL.







....not really. I view it as a rather utilitarian action.


Quote:

ModestMouse said:
Why are chicks way more secretive and private about admitting to mastubating?
Why are so many of them unable to get themselves to cum?

Atleast in my experience women seem to be a bit challenged with self pleasure, at least more women than men.








Eh, I mean I think knowing how to seal the deal yourself, particularly if you're a women is a crucial step in being able to orgasm with other people. I think most women who are not totally and completely repressed or above a certain age realize this and are not nearly as "challenged" as you think when it comes to it - though ability to communicate that to another person is another beast entirely and that's where I think some of us might come off a bit challenged or at least appear that way.

I don't like broadcasting my sex life to people I don't have sex with, I don't mind talking about it in certain contexts like this one, but when it comes to any sexual or lewd subject I think I tend to err on the more reserved and poised side of things mostly out of habit. I'm not necessarily a shy person I'm just not the type of girl that feels it's necessary that everyone knows about things that I prefer to stay with a more select audience.

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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: qman] * 1
    #23703745 - 10/03/16 01:53 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

So we can at least agree that it is very hard how much was intended by nature and how much was constructed by society?

I personally think we were originally meant to be a close knit community where everyone participates in child rearing. Branching out from that has complicated alot.


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23703751 - 10/03/16 01:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

The conversation so far has been practical
Appreciate it thanks y'all

I think a lot of what a woman does behind closed doors is lost in communication (in this case lack thereof) about it.

Also yes the emotional creatures theory is valid and definitely transcends into their sexual appetite.
But can't you trigger emotions yourself?


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InvisibleCookieCrumbsM
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: g00ru] * 2
    #23703755 - 10/03/16 01:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

g00ru said:
I feel like the girls that have mastered the art of masturbation though, are probably like just off the chain with it lol



What does this even mean? :lol:

Yo gurl your masturbation is off the chain

:lmao:


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InvisibleModestMouse
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs] * 1
    #23703761 - 10/03/16 01:57 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

It means he fantasizes about it frequently :lol:


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OfflineConnoisseur

Registered: 05/13/11
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23703853 - 10/03/16 02:17 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:

g00ru said:
I feel like the girls that have mastered the art of masturbation though, are probably like just off the chain with it lol



What does this even mean? :lol:

Yo gurl your masturbation is off the chain

:lmao:




:ilold:

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Offlineg00ru
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Re: Women on masturbation [Re: CookieCrumbs]
    #23703945 - 10/03/16 02:47 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Quote:

CookieCrumbs said:
Quote:

g00ru said:
I feel like the girls that have mastered the art of masturbation though, are probably like just off the chain with it lol



What does this even mean? :lol:

Yo gurl your masturbation is off the chain

:lmao:




it means she really enjoy it hahaha


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