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Anonymous #1

People who you hate but can't help but love
    #23701373 - 10/02/16 07:29 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

So I know this guy, we will call him Lucas. Lucas is a guy I have known for a little under a year now. He was the first guy I had a relationship with after admitting to myself that I am bisexual.

There's a lot I like about him. He's kind of a typical bad boy if that makes sense. Does buku drugs and loves to party like me is also in college and is pretty intelligent. There is a lot about him that I like.

There is also a lot I don't like. Narcissistic as fuck, he'll come ober and fuck and talk hours and hours about how he wants a relationship with me, only to block ny number afterwards, only to text me a few months later and and tell me how much he misses me and asks if I wanna smoke or hang, which of course always leads to sex.

Yea he's a narcissistic dick, but so am I, which I think is a big reason I love the kid, I see a lot of me in him.

I dont know, he hit me up the other night, we hung out and fucked, and of course as he dropped me off he uttered his usual "you better text me bro!" and at this point I never text him because in the past he would just block me. But I still cant stop thinking about him

ive admitted to myself is that hell always be a promiscuous gay guy who just loves sex and won't commit, and is full of himself and very self important. ive realized all of this but i still really care for the guy so so much

why do we do this to ourselves? why do we care so much about people like this?


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Offlinebloodsheen
ChemChaplin
Male User Gallery


Registered: 09/24/08
Posts: 7,659
Last seen: 4 years, 14 days
Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23701676 - 10/02/16 09:12 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I'm actually pretty good at cutting myself off from things like this. There might be a part of me that misses it, but when I see the random text my first thoughts are always of boiling blood and painful tortures. I consider myself fortunate in this regard, it seems more common than not that people can't let go of people who hurt them such as yourself.

So I can offer you my perspective but no advise or thoughts on your particular situation. I can hold a grudge like a motherfucker, so idk which is worse, letting people hurt you or holding hate in your heart (regardless of if they deserve it).


--------------------


A cautious young fellow named Lodge / Had seat belts installed in his Dodge. / When his date was strapped in / He committed a sin / Without even leaving the garage. That's clever, isn't it?-A boy and his dog


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Anonymous #1

Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: bloodsheen]
    #23704102 - 10/03/16 03:47 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

anyone else have anything to say?


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23704312 - 10/03/16 04:54 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Because you're easy and lacking in self respect.
Have fun being used ya doormat.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Anonymous #1

Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: sudly]
    #23704449 - 10/03/16 05:37 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

sudly said:
Because you're easy and lacking in self respect.
Have fun being used ya doormat.




hmmmmmm i actually have a lot of self respect and confidence. i am currently in med school and im a fairly attractive person, ive done a lot with my life thus far. i dony think attachment necessarily equates to being a doormat but ok


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Invisiblesudly
Darwin's stagger


Registered: 01/05/15
Posts: 10,810
Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23704462 - 10/03/16 05:43 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

That's good to hear.

I guess the only other reason one might care for someone they apparently hate is because they fear being lonely?

Or you want something from your friend that he's not giving you and may never give you.

Again though these are just my assumptions.


--------------------
I am whatever Darwin needs me to be.



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Anonymous #1

Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: sudly]
    #23704582 - 10/03/16 06:24 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

sudly said:
That's good to hear.

I guess the only other reason one might care for someone they apparently hate is because they fear being lonely?

Or you want something from your friend that he's not giving you and may never give you.

Again though these are just my assumptions.




I think these assumptions are probably more accurate, thanks for the reply.

I won't lie, I am very fearful of being lonely. Seeing one of my brothers already married, the other in a 4 year relationship with every intention of marrying her once they graduate.

i have lots of friends getting hitched, and im getting old, having not been in a long term relationship in over 6 years.

Also in the back of my head I kinda have always hoped that he will change and want to commit to something, although I see that unlikely, at least for the near future.


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: People who you hate but can't help but love [Re: Anonymous #1]
    #23705469 - 10/03/16 11:35 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Anonymous said:
I won't lie, I am very fearful of being lonely.



Welcome to being human. Fear is present in every one of us, and I'd vouch that loneliness is one of the biggest causes of said fear.

Whatever you do though man, don't let that fear drive you into a sub-par relationship - we've got waaaay too many of those going on in the world already.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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