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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon.
    #23698676 - 10/01/16 10:59 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Hey there.
So I was washing my car earlier today when I was approached by two really cute girls.
They said "hey" and I'm like "hey."
They want to talk about Jesus and I'm like "sure."
We talk and talk and they invite me to meet up again to talk, either at my apartment or their church. 
I'm like "y'all would meet at a stranger's apartment?"
They say, "ya, but we would need one more girl if that happened."  So they need three girls to come over to my place to talk about Jesus.  I was thinking cool, three chicks and just me, this could be fun.
Then they remember that tonight they can't do it because of some special thing happening at their church, so they invite me to the church and I'm like "maybe."
They give me their number (the two girls share one cell phone and don't have their own individual phones at the moment, since they are both on a mission) and tell me to call them if I show up to the church at 8 for the service or whatever.

So, I end up going because I wasn't doing anything.  I call em when I get there and they take me to a little room and invite this older guy into the room to join, so there are four of us.  The older guy seemed to be more of a beginner with Mormonism than the girls were. 
We talk about the basic intro to Mormonism and stuff, it was cool.  They are nice.
They ask me to end the conversation with a prayer, so I do. 
They then tell me there's a male-only video thing going on that I could go to if I want.  They say their prophet will be talking.
I'm like "sure."

So I leave the cute girls and go with this older guy and into a room of all guys and sit down.  There's a projector showing a guy talking (this wasn't the prophet). The talking was happening live, apparently.
He was talking about general sermony church stuff.
Another guy talks next, more general sermony church stuff.
Finally the prophet comes on. 
He tells a story about a guy who was at sea or something and was drowning because his boat or plane crashed?  He was hard to understand to be honest.
Anyways, a helicopter comes to rescue him and they lower a rope to him.  He starts climbing, but it was a high climb up, I assume bc of a storm?
About 1/3 way up his arms are deadddd.  He can't go up any more.
So he prays.
And then he gets a surge of stamina and energy and climbs all the way up, and isn't tired at the top.

That was pretty much all he said.
I expected him to keep talking.
I guess if you become a Mormon then it's equivalent to being on steroids.
Apparently they only get to listen to their prophet like this twice a year, so I got lucky to witness it my first time ever visiting a Mormon church, I guess.

The girls asked me if I wanted to get baptized in November!
I'm like "uhhh I don't know about that.  I'm just talking to you guys for the first time about this stuff."
hahah


Oh man, what an experience.
I was hoping their PROPHET would say more stuff!!  wtf!!!
Nice people, though.


What do y'all think?  Any Mormon stories?


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:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


Edited by lifeiswhatyoumake (10/01/16 11:19 PM)


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OfflineCanadian Jesus
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Registered: 07/10/16
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #23698686 - 10/01/16 11:08 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

For some reason I was thinking this was going to end with a punch line. I've never spoke to a mormon before, I don't think there are any in Canada. I know there are Jehovah's witnesses around here who go door-to-door.


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What's the crime if I snort a line, smoke, toke shoot it up all at the same time?



SunnyD said:
Definitely have more respect for sheekle than I do for unjust laws


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OfflineMorel Guy
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #23698688 - 10/01/16 11:13 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Not impressed by anything religious.  I did allow some Mormon boys in my house.  Peoples capacity to eat up bullshit and be a tool is impressive! 

Sometimes I listen to the religious people in my family speak.  The make assumptions and claims that a retard could improve on.  Connections that don't exist beyond their emotions.

Politicians and preachers.  The only one even remotely close was Osho and worth a grain of salt.


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"in sterquiliniis invenitur in stercore invenitur"

In filth it will be found in dung it will be found


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OfflineLucisM
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Registered: 03/28/15
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: Canadian Jesus] * 1
    #23698693 - 10/01/16 11:16 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Canadian Jesus said:
For some reason I was thinking this was going to end with a punch line.





Me too, I was waiting for a cost me bout tree fiddy line.


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©️


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Registered: 09/30/11
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: Canadian Jesus]
    #23698698 - 10/01/16 11:18 PM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Canadian Jesus said:
For some reason I was thinking this was going to end with a punch line.






I added this to the end:  "I guess if you become a Mormon then it's equivalent to being on steroids."


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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OfflineEzuma
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Registered: 12/02/13
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: Canadian Jesus]
    #23698888 - 10/02/16 12:34 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Canadian Jesus said:
For some reason I was thinking this was going to end with a punch line. I've never spoke to a mormon before, I don't think there are any in Canada. I know there are Jehovah's witnesses around here who go door-to-door.




there are some, they bug me all the time (maybe it's more on the west coast though I dunno)

my sister's boyfriend's family is mormon, he's not tho but he sill acts like one super polite/quiet etc


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OfflineHippocampus
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: Ezuma]
    #23698912 - 10/02/16 12:46 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

I love mormons.  Never met a mormon I really hated. 

I am a staunch atheist.  But I always like to blow people away by stating that if I were ever to become religious I would go mormon because they have the latest information from god. 

Last time I said that was when a couple missionaries came by my house and my mom happened to be there.  After I said the part about the latest info, she interjected that the Bahai's actually are newer.  (we have a lot of bahai's in my family).  And I said, nononono, those are false prophesies.  And the mormon dudes both nodded their heads in agreement.  Lol! good times, good times.


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OfflineSoluminia
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #23698939 - 10/02/16 01:03 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

So you basically got duped into going to a mormon church?


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Offlinelifeiswhatyoumake
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Registered: 09/30/11
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: Soluminia]
    #23706429 - 10/04/16 11:05 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

Soluminia said:
So you basically got duped into going to a mormon church?






No, I just wanted to experience some Mormon culture so I can have a better understanding about them.
Also listening to a "real life, current prophet" was interesting.


--------------------
:rave::rave::rave: I dropped a trance track "Peace Love & Trance": https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M4uQBM-mRYU ; :raver2::raver2::raver2::raveface:


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Offlineqman
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake]
    #23706552 - 10/04/16 11:44 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Mormons kick young males out of the church so the higher up males can have sex with all of the hot girls, lucky bastards.


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Invisiblebait_
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Re: I went to a Mormon church for the first time tonight. I witnessed their prophet give a sermon. [Re: lifeiswhatyoumake] * 1
    #23706588 - 10/04/16 11:59 AM (7 years, 3 months ago)

Quote:

What do y'all think?  Any Mormon stories?





here's my approach

I like to try to get them to question their beliefs.

my line is
"believe in god
trust in the holy spirit
&
act as jesus would
and you'll get to heaven. because god, an all knowing all powerful being, can see the true intentions behind our actions and will respond accordingly"

i try to convince them that jesus' whole mission was to show people they could be just as great as he was.
I down play the miracles aspect and tell them
anyone can be a prophet -- as it is the message that is more important than who is saying it (they believe only men can be)
and
the holy spirit (spirit: the thing that animates all of us) doesn't get enough credit in religious texts

they think the only way to get to heaven is believing jesus to be their savior: well god helps those who help themselves :smile:


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