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Anonymous #1
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My girl got fat
#23688158 - 09/28/16 07:42 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Since i've met her she has put on weight. I mean I care a lot about this woman but I got to admit i'm afraid to take her around my family and friends because I don't want them to know i'm dating a fat chick.
I don't have the balls to break up with her because I actually care about her. How do I get her to work out or get her to change her life style with out coming out and saying "you're fat do something about it."
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Anonymous #2
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With my girl i would say something along the lines of "hey you know what would be fun, if we started working out together." Probably not exactly that but just an idea.
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Anonymous #3
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^ Say you want to lose weight yourself then lead by example. If that fails, come out and say "you're fat, do something about it."
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Anonymous #4
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pics or you're lying
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Anonymous #5
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lol just start taking her out on "random" hikes. The both of you will do some physical activity out in nature, you wont be coming off as a dick and she'll burn some fucking calories.
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Anonymous #6
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If you care about her like you say, then be straight up honest with her. Don't "fool" her into physical activity. You don't have to be mean or rude about not wanting her to be overweight. I'm sure she has expectations of what she wants from you, it's a two way street relationships are you know?
Or you can always just turn into an overweight slob an be happy together? Two peas in a pod.
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Anonymous #7
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Ive tried the "I want to lose weight, will you help me" line. It wont work, ask any woman here. She knows she is gaining weight.
Are you two early 20s? Im guessing a couple years out of HS. At least thats when mine began to put on weight fast. That and your insecurity of what someone else thinks about you "cuz youre with a fat chick" lends more to a younger age. Ever think to yourself how much it would hurt her to know you look at her, and instead of seeing the beautiful individual who makes you feel right in this world, you are in fact judging her?
Turn societies magnifying glass on yourself friend. Your going to see just how ugly you are to them as well. Got a dick that is shorter or thinner than the Adonises in porn? Maybe she should look at you with disappointment everyday.
Be careful OP, if you do love her, you need to tread carefully into this. Dont leave her cuz she is getting fat, you will hurt her heart in such an aweful way. Talk to her, but the right things to say, I dont think anyone here but you could find the right words.
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Anonymous #1
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I don't need to lose weight though. I just naturally look athletic and fit. If I said "you're fat do something about it" that would fuck her up.
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Anonymous #8
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The best way to look healthy is to eat healthy. Has your girl been eating fast food a lot or something?
Also exercising is needed.
Dieting + exercising = good body, and mind
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Anonymous #9
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Quote:
Anonymous #1 said: I don't need to lose weight though. I just naturally look athletic and fit.
Your not working out for you, it's for her. Who cares what friends and family think? If they are true friends and fam theyll just be glad your happy. If you love her it shouldn't matter. It's a shame your so caught up on looks and willing to possibly give it all up over a couple pounds which can be lost.
The grass always seems greener on the other side brotha!
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Anonymous #10
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Under no circumstances should you hint or tell her she's fat. That'll make it worse. It's a trap. Just go buy both of you a gym membership and get her to go with you. And every time you eat together, make sure it's something healthy. Working out will make her feel good about herself. Telling her she's fat will kill her and her sex drive and possibly make her eat more.
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Anonymous #11
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You're not doing it right if you can't fuck the extra pounds off her.
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Anonymous #9
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Quote:
Anonymous #11 said: You're not doing it right if you can't fuck the extra pounds off her. 
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Anonymous #1
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She talks about how shes fat or has gotten fat all the time.
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Anonymous #7
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That doesnt mean she wants the guy she loves to reinforce that on her, friend. Im truly beginning to feel very sorry for her, I hope she finds the one who loves her without to much heart ache on the way.
I remember thinking like you. It made me feel awful, I hope you begin to see things with more clarity and empathy.
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Anonymous #1
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I don't feel good about judging her for her weight. The truth is it's embarrassing bringing her around friends and family and being known as the dude with the fat chick. I'm not going to break up with her or anything but if this becomes a pattern of behavior, being fat and not doing anything about it I will eventually have to break up with her.
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Anonymous #7
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Can we ask what you consider fat? Whats her height and weight?
My girl has struggled with her weight ever since she got out of HS, I used to think the same as you, and it bothered me that I could look at her and think something like that, when I know she didnt look at me and think that kind of stuff. Im also more naturally fit like you, still am.
Then I realized just how unimportant that was. I encourage her all the time, struggle thru healthy meals I dont want, and when she asks me if shes fat, I can honestly tell her she is so beautiful to me. Shes never stopped being the same girl I fell in love with.
Edited by Anonymous (09/30/16 09:26 PM)
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Anonymous #1
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She's 4'11 I don't know how much she weighs. I don't have the balls to ask. She used to weigh 89 lbs.
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Anonymous #12
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I suggest looking into chia & flax seed mix.
If it's over eating that is the problem, which it may not, chia and flax seed both (though specifically chia seed) have been known to help people reduce weight significantly. It expands in your stomach making you feel fuller as well as a few other things; it's really nutritious too.
It's not a single magick bullet but little things like that can help.
#7 had a solid post, be there for her.
She sounds like a cute little munchkin
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Anonymous #1
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She is, I do love her. Her tits have gotten enormous too and they are busting out of every bra she has. I'm still attracted to her, but idk how much longer that will last if she keeps gaining weight. Her feet are so small she has to wear children's size shoes
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Anonymous #7
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Seems like most women start putting on weight at about 20, maybe it a primal like response of the body for being at a child bearing age, storing calories preemptively, im no doctor, so I wouldnt quote that. Men hold together physically easier at a younger age it seems, then we get older and our hair starts falling out and our dicks stop working the same(no whammies, no whammies)
I really dont know man, it sounds tough. If you were to tell me her too fat level was at 120 for her height, id tell you to grow up, I know that. I really hope you dont hold her to those gross ideals of celebrity skinny, those chicks are so sickly looking in person. Ever get a private dance from a skinny porn star who looked hot on video? They're not as sexy in person, you walk away wanting to stuff a sandwich down her throat moreso than your dick.
Not so much judging you friend, I judge the bullshit society tells us is pretty, its infecting both women and men. Next it will be us who are never good enough.
Did you know they have botox for your balls now? 3600 to have a suckable wrinkle free sack for a few months. Sounds stupid right? A girl thinking shes not good enough unless her boobs are the same size with upturned nipples should be viewed the same way, I think
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Anonymous #1
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I don't hold her to any standard as far as thin. In the past I told her she was too thin and she got offended. I like women that aren't skeletons but aren't fat either. A healthy middle ground. Fucking a skeleton is not very fun.
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Anonymous #7
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Youre sounding like an alright guy man, but your original question is still not something I think anyone can answer for you. I hope you figure out both what to say and how to say it if you have too. Id still probably go for the "will you help me exercise and stay motivated at it" thing, even thou ive had that blow up in my face.
Dont forget proper PPE.
Pleasant vibes friend, may your answers find you.
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Anonymous #13
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.
Edited by Anonymous (10/22/16 12:35 AM)
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Anonymous #14
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It's an easy one. Don't judge her, or make her feel unattractive. Just bluntly and without any emotion find a moment to drop in that she's overweight. She'll be humiliated, but not hurt, because you obviously don't care and will love her regardless. But the fact is she could be better for you, could do more.
The other option is to find out where her weight is coming from, whether it's lack of activity, eating junk food for lunch at work, whatever, and try and replace that with healthy food and physical activity. Otherwise just break up with her. It might do her good. She shouldn't be with someone who has an issue with how she looks, however legitimate. And anyway, if she's not willing to put the work into herself, why you should have to be disadvantaged?
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Anonymous #14
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Fat shaming for people above the age of 18 is OK in very particular circumstances. It's a lack of respect for your body, it is an unhealthy lifestyle and it does lead to worse outcomes for you in terms of your quality of life and life expectancy. I was obese once, and I just stopped eating. Didn't lift a finger, just halved all my quantities and cut out what I didn't need.
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Anonymous #15
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You need to be open for a start and not be scathing.
Lighthearted, yet serious, showing that you care and are concerned.
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Anonymous #13
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Are you exercising daily? If not, this is the problem. If you are, and she is not exercising with you, you are not motivating her to work out with you enough. If you are and she refuses, then you have a legitimate issue on your hands.
If you're not, you'll get fat too. If not fat, you'll be unattractive soon either way. Embrace your ugliness together or start working out together and getting healthy.
You don't have to be demeaning to get her to exercise. Just casually mention that you think it would help both of your health circumstances, and that you could both work to getting better looking for eachother. This is motivation enough. No one is dumb, everyone knows that working out more increases your attraction in more ways than just weight.
Edited by Anonymous (10/20/16 06:26 AM)
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Anonymous #16
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Yeah i think most girls that are fat don't want to work out from stress or just being tired at the end of the day I wouldn't either but you need to get her to do actual body building too that way she can still go to work and while she's sleeping that soreness will burn off extra calories
I mean that's what I would do, along with really small amounts of cardio in the beggining
Edited by Anonymous (10/21/16 11:31 PM)
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Anonymous #17
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I dunno op I was gonna flippantly say 'dump her' but in seriousness, if you care about her then it's areal mess. If she wont change I'd still say dump her though, I couldn't date someone I wasn't attracted to physically
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Anonymous #18
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I was in a situation where I was dating somebody who got fat and I just stopped wanting to have sex with her. 
I met my now wife who was not fat and dumped my fat girlfriend for the new girl who I later married.
My wife has put on a little weight from time to time. I suggest things like going backpacking or trying new vegan foods when I want her to lose a little weight. (Try getting women to go vegan, they eat it up like crazy and it means they can eat like absolute hogs and don't get larger.)
I once signed us up for a gym membership because she needed to lose weight. We went primarily under the guise of "me needing to lift some weights." Eventually she started working out too and lost some weight.
If your woman is open to doing new things for Heath reasons, shouldn't be too hard. Make sure you live an active lifestyle. If she's not doing anything to stop getting fat and she's fatter in a year, and it's completely ruining how you feel about her then dump her.
I dumped two girlfriends because they were fat. I'd divorce my wife if she got fat enough. People get fat, you're not a monster for leaving them if it bothers you.
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Anonymous #19
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Set her up with someone who doesn't mind her being fat, then go to Japan and get yourself a wife there. It's illegal to be fat in Japan.
Just man up and leave her, let her find someone who'll love her for who she is, and find some wife who's happy eating cabbage soup.
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Anonymous #20
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let her do whatever she wants with her body while you adjust your attitude accordingly
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Anonymous #21
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Ditch the hog. Don't let her poor life skills bring you down.
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