This is a trip I had a few months ago. I had planned to document them all right after they happened, but honestly the experience was somewhat traumatic, and I wanted to take time to contemplate what happened. So without further ado, I'll get into it.
First things first, I was being a dick at this time in my life. To be totally honest, I was lost and confused in life, and I was taking it out on the people who cared the most. I'm ashamed to admit it, but there it is. I was raised very religiously, and I was slowly but surely getting out of that mindset, and I was jut really conflicted in general.
The worst part was the fact that I was totally becoming a master of escapism. Feelings of any kind were just painful for some reason. So I smoked weed all the time to numb myself out. I'd had really blissful mushroom experiences and decided to blow off my loved ones in order to take shrooms. Big mistake (or was it?)
So the first hour was just existential horror. No hallucinations, and no crazy cool feelings. I was just there. I was SO there. I was more present than I had ever been, to the extent that it was physically painful. I don't know how that works, and it's hard to explain, but it was like I felt all the weight of the universe.
Part of me wanted to roll a joint, because weed always helps me navigate out of the bad parts of a trip, but I didn't. These effects were some I'd never heard about, and figured that if I was experiencing it there was a reason, and I wanted to wait it out. It lasted for what felt like days, but it was actually around two hours.
After the two hours, emotions just started to kick in hard. my eyes were opened to how selfish I'd been over the last several months. Not to get to sentimental, but tears may or may not have been shed. I felt until I had fully exhausted myself. At this point I could tell my suffering was over, and I started hitting my favorite bong. I felt a strong urge to go outside around hour 3 or 4, and this is where hallucinations kicked in.
My room at that time was in a basement, and there was a door and staircase that went directly outside. It was a dark room, because it was underground, but when you reached the top of the stairs and opened the door light poured in. Visually and in feeling, this was as though I'd be rebirthed. All the pain was gone, the future was in front of me, and I'd literally and figuratively emerged from a dark place. The symbology at the time was pretty cool, and I actually felt like I was being birthed into the world.
I was smoking a joint outside, thinking about how just weeks earlier I was tripping on a few grams and I'd had a totally blissful experience in the exact same room, and had had an amazing experience in the place that I was currently standing. I thought about how strange it was that the two experiences differed so much, and that's when wisdom and hallucinatins hit me at the same time like a bag of bricks.
EVERYTHING we experience is just perception. two experiences that were very similar on paper were totally different, and the variable was me. Things really are what you make them. It's a simple concept, but it took tripping balls for me to really get it.
Then all hell broke loose. One minute, I'm standing there, smoking a j, the next my consciousness bursts from my body, and becomes everything. I was one with the universe. I understood everything. The moments following are ones that I couldn't comprehend the next day, much less months later (now)
It was crazy, painful, and enlightening.
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Thanks man, and yeah it isn't for everyone, but disclaimer, I'm a big guy, 6'4 and around 250 lbs, so it takes a little bit more for me. every time I do shrooms, reports from people who have taken the same amounts are way crazier, which is why I went to 7. I took 5 once, and really didn't even get much out of it, although that could have been due to the quality of the shrooms. idk. I've gotten a lot out of 3.5 grams before, so it's a really weird thing I suppose.
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