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OfflineViaggio
ChemicalConsumer

Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
My father died today.
    #2365447 - 02/21/04 10:42 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I didn't know which forum to post this in besides OTD (not my choice).

Shortly after 3PM today, my father passed away from a massive heart attack. He was 44.

I heard him coughing violently while I was in my room. When I heard a crashing noise, I rushed into his bedroom to see him struggling for air on his stomach on the floor. I raced for his nitrate and attempted to feed it to him, but the pill would not stay in his mouth. Seconds later, all movement stopped as I dialed 911.

The operator informed me to flip him on to his back (heavy man, no easy task) and perform mouth to mouth. His eyes bulged and face was blue. All the air would blow back out from his lips after each breath I forced in.

I saw the life leave him. I saw his face... saw death. It was so surreal. My father died in my arms before the paramedics arrived. They tried. They tried more at the hospital, but I already knew the window to bring him back had long passed.

Despite not having a strong relationship with my father, I will miss him. I may have only said it a handful of times during my 23 years, but I love him.


--------------------
"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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Offlinebarfightlard
tales of theinexpressible
Male

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 01/29/03
Posts: 8,670
Loc: Canoodia
Last seen: 6 years, 11 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365473 - 02/21/04 10:46 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm really sorry to hear that.  You did all that you could dude.  All of the good ones die young :confused:.  I don't know what I would be thinking if I was in that situation, or if I would even be thinking at all.  I'm sure he knew you loved him.

:heart:


--------------------

"What business is it of yours what I do, read, buy, see, say, think, who I fuck, what I take into my body - as long as I do not harm another human being on this planet?" - Bill Hicks


Edited by bellylard (02/21/04 10:47 PM)


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OfflineFrog
Warrior
Female User Gallery

Registered: 10/22/03
Posts: 4,284
Loc: The Zero Point Field
Last seen: 3 years, 10 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365476 - 02/21/04 10:47 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I'm so sorry about what you went through today.  I wish I could say something that would make life easier for you right now. 

Peace, and God bless you.  :heart:


--------------------
The day will come when, after harnessing the ether, the winds, the tides, gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of love. And, on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.  -Teilard


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InvisibleSwami
Eggshell Walker

Registered: 01/19/00
Posts: 15,413
Loc: In the hen house
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365484 - 02/21/04 10:48 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Wow brother, it doesn't get much heavier than that. All advice we can give will probably sound lame. Just know that your shroomery family is here for you in whatever way you need us and that we hurt along with you.  :crying:


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The proof is in the pudding.


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Offlinegreenhaze
one toke overthe line

Registered: 06/03/02
Posts: 514
Loc: the severed garden
Last seen: 11 years, 6 days
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365489 - 02/21/04 10:49 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

sorry to hear about your loss...hang in there man


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OfflineFatNug
Si-Hing

Registered: 11/21/01
Posts: 150
Loc: Everywhere at 1nce
Last seen: 10 years, 5 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365491 - 02/21/04 10:50 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

wow, just wow man, im very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine being in your position right now. What a powerful thing is death


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================================================So what's your peace of mind huh? A swiss watch? leasin' a Lex on credit? all the pussy and liquor a nigga can get..put together this puzzle, but my pieces won't fit.. {Ras kass}


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OfflineSquatting_Otter
Freedom Code

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 97
Loc: point no point
Last seen: 12 years, 7 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365495 - 02/21/04 10:50 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Wow, that's got to be a little confusing at least. I can't imagine how you feel right now. That's a pretty powerful experience you just shared. Zany. My condolences.

I'm sure you've constructed yourself an adequate belief system to take the weight of his death and I hope you aren't too shook up to keep yourself happy. Good luck!


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InvisibleShroomismM
Space Travellin
Male User Gallery
Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 02/13/00
Posts: 64,424
Loc: 9th Dimension Flag
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365524 - 02/21/04 10:58 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

wow, that is really tough.
I am so sorry..
you will need some time..
but know that he is well on the other side
and he knows that you love him, and he loves you
be well... be in peace


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OfflineTasty_Smurf_House
Stranger
 User Gallery

Registered: 08/20/03
Posts: 8,657
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 5 years, 5 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365528 - 02/21/04 10:59 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

That sucks man. My dad is 56 and he smoked ciggarettes for at least half his life until he had a heart attack about 18 years ago. He's a big guy and he's lucky to still be alive cuz he's also been an alcoholic for so long. he's probably going to pass away soon. we don't get a long very well and we dont talk much. our relationship is kinda shitty. like i love him cuz he's my dad and all but i just dont like him much. does that make any sense? also there is a forum you could have posted this in somewhere on here it's like support group or some thing i dunno it's below OTD though. my friend's dad died a day before christmas i think. life can suck ass sometimes. just hang in there. everyone here supports ya.


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OfflineAtomisk
all forms areself awareness

Registered: 02/09/04
Posts: 164
Loc: jungle of love
Last seen: 12 years, 5 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365578 - 02/21/04 11:09 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

im sorry.


--------------------
o house-builder! thou art seen. thou shalt build no house again. all thy rafters are broken. thy ridge-pole is shattered.


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Invisiblespadlishus7
GEARHEADLIKEAMOFO

Registered: 07/08/03
Posts: 240
Loc: YO MAMA BIOTCH
Re: My father died today. [Re: Tasty_Smurf_House]
    #2365604 - 02/21/04 11:15 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Hey there!
I really have no words to give, I'm at a loss.
I'm actually sobbing for you're loss as I write this.
Greive my friend, you will need a period of it before your life can go on.
If you need it (and you will), don't be affraid to call on anybody around you (shromerites, hospital staff, friends, family, etc...)to aid in your times of confusion, depression, reflection, or otherwise.
:crying:


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Invisiblesakura
Aussie Expat

Registered: 02/08/04
Posts: 592
Loc: Japan
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2365682 - 02/21/04 11:31 PM (12 years, 9 months ago)

I watched my mother leave...

I have no advice, but I feel for you and hope you had the opportunity to say some of that stuff before he went (that's for your benefit, not his... I think he is in a place now where he knows more about how you feel than you do).

I had a strange experience about 2 weeks after. The finality of it all suddenly hit me and this 'groan' just came from deep inside of me (really weird noise and pretty loud. At first I didn't realise it was me... ). That was a 'point of release' and I started getting better after that. (takes a long time sometimes).

Hope you're OK soon.


--------------------
Shrooms aren't everyone's cup of tea... (Some folks just eat 'em)


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Anonymous

Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2366463 - 02/22/04 02:33 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

You have my condolences man. I was pretty broken up when my grandma died but I didn't actually witness it.


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InvisibleTODAY
Battletoad
Male

Registered: 09/25/03
Posts: 10,218
Loc: Metropolis City, USA
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2366584 - 02/22/04 03:10 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

  :sad:...i'm so sorry vaggio.  this brings back all kinds of emotions in me...death is a hard thing to deal with.  my best friend died early morning in his sleep christmas eve this year.  i thought i was dreaming for two weeks, then it really hit me that he's gone.  he was only 18...your father was young too but i hope he had a happy life while he was living, it seems very unfair to me when the young die.  there's not much i can say to really help you out but when my friend died i spent all of my waking hours with the people that i love and the people that loved him...it really helped us all to be surrounded by love and memmories.  my relationships with my friends and family are alot stronger now.  hang in there, all my love to you and yours...my heart aches for you vaggio...i hope you are okay, if you need anybody to chat w/ or anything hit me up...take care friend :heart:


--------------------

ca'rouse (k-rouz)
intr.v.
To engage in boisterous, drunken merrymaking.


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OfflineBLuEFroG
Friend of Many

Registered: 02/13/04
Posts: 425
Loc: Eastern Coast
Last seen: 10 years, 9 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2366596 - 02/22/04 03:15 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

shit... that very same thing happened to this girl I know not more than two weeks ago, and I can only immagine the pain you both share...


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Offlinemanna_man
High onlife.....andcrack

Registered: 06/10/03
Posts: 481
Loc: Vancouver
Last seen: 11 years, 1 month
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2366959 - 02/22/04 06:12 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Man, I'm really sorry to hear about this...
I wish you and your family much love and strength.

Although he may be gone, you are now infinitely closer to him.

(My paradox for the day.)

Remember your dad for not as someone who was, but admire him for someone who will be. Death should be a joyous time. A time of change, of transition. And a time of growth for everyone, especially your dad.
I wish you and your family well on this bumby road, and I hope your dad is maxin'n'nrelaxin in peace.  :sun:


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This post is protected under copyrite law.All above content is strictly the property of ?manna_man.Any infringement of copyright property is strictly prohibited.Any violators will be stretched, shot, and then vaporized into a state of anti-matter, where they will cease to exist.


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OfflineViaggio
ChemicalConsumer

Registered: 07/05/03
Posts: 1,296
Last seen: 10 years, 8 months
Re: My father died today. [Re: manna_man]
    #2367174 - 02/22/04 09:44 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

Thanks everyone.


--------------------
"...yet another in a long series of diversions an attempt to avoid responsibility."


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OfflineLearyfan
It's the psychedelic movement!
Male User Gallery

Registered: 04/20/01
Posts: 29,755
Loc: High pride!
Last seen: 5 hours, 32 minutes
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2367265 - 02/22/04 10:49 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad: :sad:





--------------------
--------------------------------


Mp3 of the month: The Loose Enz - The Black Door



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Invisiblekaiowas
mndfrayze'speppet urme
 User Gallery

Registered: 07/14/03
Posts: 5,498
Loc: oz
Re: My father died today. [Re: Viaggio]
    #2367293 - 02/22/04 11:09 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

:sad:

i tried to think of something to say, but I can't. 

ever need to chat w/someone we are all here.  :frown:


--------------------
Annnnnnd I had a light saber and my friend was there and I said "you look like an indian" and he said "you look like satan" and he found a stick and a rock and he named the rock ooga booga and he named the stick Stick and we both thought that was pretty funny. We got eaten alive by mosquitos but didn't notice til the next day. I stepped on some glass while wading in the swamp and cut my foot open, didn't bother me til the next day either....yeah it was a good time, ended the night by buying some liquor for minors and drinking nips and going to he diner and eating chicken fingers, and then I went home and went to bed.---senior doobie


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OfflinePedM
Interested In Your Brain
 User Gallery

Folding@home Statistics
Registered: 08/31/99
Posts: 5,494
Loc: Canada
Last seen: 14 days, 22 hours
Re: My father died today. [Re: kaiowas]
    #2367361 - 02/22/04 11:47 AM (12 years, 9 months ago)

We all share common ground when reminded of our mortality. Like the others here, I'll gladly lend an ear.


--------------------


:poison: Dark Triangles - New Psychedelic Techno Single - Listen on Soundcloud :poison:
Gyroscope full album available SoundCloud or MySpace


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