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AnonXO
/b/

Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 77
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
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Shrooms may have changed my life negatively!
#23646397 - 09/15/16 01:57 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I want to first say that I do not believe psilocybin "magic" mushrooms are bad, especially compared to other drugs. But something has happened to me since I tripped for the first time and I need help.
I tripped for the first time on shrooms 1 month and 5 days ago. And since then, I have been incredibly paranoid and scared. I have nightmares almost every night and I am usually too scared to fall asleep at night. I'm actually scared of the dark now, in my own home with other people living here. It's so unusal because I am an adult and I have stayed home alone many time without any fear.
It's certianly strange and I wouldn't expect this from shrooms. But it's all I can think of that might could have caused this sudden change in me. I haven't taken any other drugs, beside occasionally smoking weed with a friend. My first trip was a "bad" trip. My girlfriend and I broke up the day before I tripped, and people say that you should only trip when you're feeling content and in a pleasant setting.
I talked to my friend about this (he's tripped on shrooms many times) and he agrees it has changed his personality, but in positive ways.
I am up writing this because I was too scared to go to bed and enough is enough. The lack of sleep is torturous.
Can anyone help me? I don't really know what could help. Perhaps advice on what to do next. I was thinking on tripping again. But this time I will wait until I'm happy and in a pleasant setting, so perhaps this time the shrooms alter my mind in a positive way.
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AnonXO
/b/

Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 77
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: AnonXO]
#23646403 - 09/15/16 02:03 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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It seems like the more I think about my nightmares, the more scared I become of falling asleep. I am trying to keep myself from thinking about them.
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nooneman


Registered: 04/24/09
Posts: 14,568
Loc: Utah
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: AnonXO] 1
#23646418 - 09/15/16 02:12 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sometimes if you come out wrong, the only solution is to go back in. If that doesn't work then you should avoid psychedelics.
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AnonXO
/b/

Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 77
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: nooneman]
#23646423 - 09/15/16 02:17 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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That's what I was thinking. I have been monitoring the weather and a nearby field everyday. I'm ready to "go back in". This time I plan to hangout with friends that make me happy and explore nature.
Thanks for the tip.
Have any of you guys had bad effects after a bad trip?
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larry.fisherman
shoulda died already


Registered: 11/03/12
Posts: 36,294
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: AnonXO]
#23646733 - 09/15/16 07:21 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sounds like maybe you're using the shrooms as a coping mechanism, something to blame to get your mind off of being lonely or missing your girlfriend. I don't know you though that's pretty speculative obviously. Write a quick trip report if you don't mind.
One thing to consider, if before I did psychedelics I came to terms with the idea of not being the same afterward. Then after I did them, I said to myself, "Maybe I did change, but this is today. How do I know things would be different had my yesterday been as well?" Life is life, go with the flow and accept what you can because it's happening anyway. We write our own story today with everything that came before it.
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lovuasca
Strange


Registered: 09/10/16
Posts: 72
Loc: Level 0
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: larry.fisherman]
#23647139 - 09/15/16 10:53 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I don't really have nightmares, but I have trouble sleeping after having taken something last time. Actually, I made a thread for it myself: https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/23647126
-------------------- It doesn't matter whether you are christian, muslim, jew, atheist or ascribe to any other belief-system. It doesn't matter whether you look out to the stars, or under a microscope to the tiniest of particles. It doesn't even matter what kind of practice you perform to reach your goal. Because if you keep looking, everything eventually leads to the same truth, like a fractal that contains itself in every direction you take it. You will find yourself. I love you. Blatant self-advertisement.
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Peyote Road
Stranger

Registered: 09/02/15
Posts: 3,527
Loc: Great Lakes State
Last seen: 1 year, 3 months
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: lovuasca]
#23648028 - 09/15/16 04:27 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Try valerian for sleep and I agree sometimes the best way to fix a bad trip is to trip again
-------------------- The path of the herbalist is to open ourselves to nature in an innocent and pure way. SHe in turn will open her bounty and reward us with many valuable secrets. May the earth bless you. - Michael Tierra
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Shumbieking
Shumbies



Registered: 03/23/16
Posts: 8
Last seen: 3 years, 7 months
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: Peyote Road]
#23648379 - 09/15/16 06:37 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yeah dude you got to go back in with people that lift your spirit up and make you feel really good about yourself and you yourself need to realize how awesome you are to be an entity within the physical realm! The more paranoid And scared you get the more you give those things power in your existence! Listen to good advice and accept that you are truly made from love itself and there is no place for within the pure ultimate love you are created from! Just my advice use it don't use it
-------------------- Ditto is the best pokemon!
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Psilocypher
Explorer


Registered: 08/27/09
Posts: 804
Loc: Earth
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: Shumbieking]
#23648519 - 09/15/16 07:22 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Maybe the trip brought up burried emotions from your past and you're just not sure what it all means yet. Why was it "bad"? What feelings did it bring up at the time? I have been in some miserable states on psilocybin, and really it was just holding a mirror upto my current state of being. I could see what needed changing, but it's hard to change some aspects of my reality. Some things still haven't changed. Some things can't be changed because the fault is with someone else in my life and not me. And yes, tripping after breaking up with someone isn't really the best idea. Maybe you could work on those bad things before going back in.
Eliminate paranoia from your life by having a clean-up. I find that paranoia is usually meaningful and stems from a genuine negative emotion such as guilt or fear. Give the world no reason to point the finger at you. Sorry if I'm wrong and that is not the case.
Good luck man!
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,660
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: Psilocypher]
#23648822 - 09/15/16 09:10 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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All phenomena are nothing other than the appearances of primordial wisdom.
Sounds like your afraid of your dreams. I would , upon becoming aware of this paranoia and fear creeping up in your sphere of awareness look to where it is coming from! Utterly beyond all fabrications, the roots cannot lie. Once aware of the pattern drop all attachment to whatever you are doing and just leave it as it is. Within this uncontaminated concentration upon a single sensation in your sphere of awareness will be your reflection like a mirror. Leave it as it is! Like exhaling a sigh of relief upon realizing that, the Snake in the grass you thought was hunting you - with knowledge and vision of things as the truly are - was actually just your own Tail!
Until this 'episode' of yours comes to full fruition I would not suggest twice pulling at the Tiger's whiskers. Dreams cannot harm you but using powerful Hallucinogens when your not well certainly can, that which is real cannot be threatened by that which is not. I would personally use this as a teaching, but dont take my word for it go try it out for yourself. Let yourself be afraid, fall asleep, dream whatever comes, then wake up and realize things carry on and this is a part of maturing and growing up. I actually had a similar 'episode' years ago and through having the same dream reoccur over several years I suddenly had the direct realization of spontaneous presence - knowing full well my body was in bed doing the dreaming, that I was the dreamer, the dream, and all the things in it. Me , the T. Rex chasing me , the bridge we were on, the clouds and the sky - were all really just me all along. "We" laughed until I finally woke up in bed, laughing with tears of joy in my eyes.
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (09/15/16 09:13 PM)
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AnonXO
/b/

Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 77
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: The Blind Ass]
#23649067 - 09/15/16 11:10 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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PLEASE READ TO THE BOTTOM.
Thank you for all the helpful answers.
And you guys are exactly right. During the trip, I seen my entire life in an entirely different perspective. The trip showed me my life in a way I have never seen it before.
I watched myself waking up everyday, doing the same thing over and over again. I didn't like the routine the trip showed me. Like most people, I have judged other people. But the trip showed me in the same exact situations as them, over and over and over again. Everything I hated and despised, I was, during the trip.
I don't believe in the paranormal, such as ghosts and demons. But everyday I feel paranoid and scared, like something is stalking me, but never showing it's face.
Every night, I have to lay on my back and constantly I look to the left, then to right and then in front of me, over and over again, making sure I'm alone. (I NEVER did this until after my trip)
Everything I am scared of haunts me in my dreams. I've dreamt of being on the tallest mountain in a sevre lightning storm. I've dreamt of spiders crawlling on my arms and hands. I've dreamt of waking up and seeing snake skin near my desk and water moccasins on the floor, crawlling up onto my bed with me.
But the SCARIEST dream of them all (the one that makes me too scared to go into my room) is when I dream of waking up in my room. I get up and start my morning routine, and there's always a man, the same man, one I've never in reality. He has a wrinkled face, but not he's old. At first, I noticed him peeping around the door to my computer room. It scared the hell out of me (I'm still in the dream). I slowly walked to the door and opened it but no body was in there. I shut the door and went back into the kitchen to make breakfast and he was peeping through another door. I investigated and nobody was there, again.
He kept stalking me, and I kept trying to find him. At one point I was able to follow him into my parents room (I just turned 20). He shut the door and held it. I slammed up against the door, trying to get in, trying to come to terms with the man stalking me. But he kept holding it shut. Then I simply turned the knob and it opened, as if it was all I had to do. And it opened so easy with no resistance. But it was only my parents sleeping (Still, this is in my dream). This really scared me so I went into my room and hid. My parents were in my room and awake. (Not sure how they got there, but it's a dream, things just happen) And they were talking to me. Then I see the knob to my door turn and I ran to the door and held it so the man couldn't get in. This time he was slamming up against the door. Trying to get in. He was stronger than me and was starting to pry the door open with his strenght. My parents just looked at me strangely and I was yelling at them to help me. The man broke through and was standing above me. I was on the ground and I just started crying and my parents were freaking out. They were asking me what's wrong and then I realized, they couldn't see the man. Only me. I kept telling them what I was seeing and they looked at me as if I was crazy.
I don't remember anymore of that dream. I eventually woke up and although I knew it was a dream, it felt real. I was scared to leave my room for a long time. Not until my parents woke up first. Still I was paranoid.
Almost everything I have the same exact experience, over and over again. I am different places and locations. Always places I have never been before. But the man is always there. Always stalking me. If I follow him, he disappears. Even if he hides in a closed room with only one door. He always gets away. But if I hide from him, he always chases me.
This is almost every night. And I am too scared to dream of him anymore. I have never met him, and hope to god I never do.
----
I know all this sounds crazy. But it is 100% true. I swear on my life, my mothers life, my family's life. This is all happening to me and I feel like tripping may change my life, again.
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Aureus
Stranger
Registered: 07/04/15
Posts: 478
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: AnonXO]
#23649232 - 09/16/16 12:17 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Psilocypher
Explorer


Registered: 08/27/09
Posts: 804
Loc: Earth
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: Aureus]
#23649530 - 09/16/16 04:15 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Learn how to lucid dream and then kick the fuck out of him. Saying that, I don't think it's possible to fight in the astral realm. Feels like underwater. You can't run either, but you can face him with no fear and win that way, if you are lucid. Turn him into a sexy lady and get it on. 
You could even train yourself (in waking life) to turn that man into a dream-sign, which is useful for lucid dreaming. He would just be a useful tool and nothing else.
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The Blind Ass
Bodhi



Registered: 08/16/16
Posts: 26,660
Loc: The Primordial Mind
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: Psilocypher]
#23649882 - 09/16/16 08:41 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I know exactly what you are going through. 100%. Thank you for taking the time to share your dreams with me, it gives me a good feeling knowing someone else has also gone through such.
My perspective is that You are playing hide and go seek with yourself, and somewhere within the long duration of the game you forgot it is a game! We are mammals, homo sapiens - and as intelligent as we can be, we are also easily distracted by our senses and mental faculty, and we have the tendency to be forgetful! Try and remember, try and remember who you are.
This phase going through you right now in life is in flux and will continue transforming into something unrecognizable to its earlier forms. If I were you I would wake up every day after dreaming and say - Gotcha! All of this is similar to a metephor, simile, analogy, myth - its meaning lay within your memory and direct experience. The only choice you have is to choose to hate or love this seemingly unknown person. Regardless, it is just a dream .
-------------------- Give me Liberty caps -or- give me Death caps
Edited by The Blind Ass (09/16/16 08:45 AM)
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AnonXO
/b/

Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 77
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: The Blind Ass]
#23650259 - 09/16/16 11:36 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Your answers make a lot of sence. Thank you all.
It seems like since I wrote this, it's been a little easier going to bed. I just tell myself it's just dreams, they're not real. But I hate being scared every night. Is it possible that shrooms have made these dreams happen (or perhaps clear enough to remember). These dreams were not happening before my trip.
I tried to use the shrooms as a tool, a tool that would enhance my sences and awareness, allow me to look at problems in another perspective to solve them more efficently. I was certainly unprepared for what the trip wanted me to see. At first it was a wonderful experience. The leaves, the sky, the stream, all the insects were all so beautiful. I have seen nature all before, but the trip showed me nature for the first time.
Then I looked at myself in the mirror and I began to see everything I have ever hated in others, in me. From then on, everything started to turn into a much darker experience. The trip showed me all my mistakes. It showed me a woman I cared about, it showed me that she didn't leave, I did. It showed me how I pushed her away. It showed me my life, trapped in a looping routine, a path I created. I started feeling paranoia, fear and sadness. It showed me problems n my life that I didn't realize in reality.
Something I think that maybe the trip (my mind) is trying to use my dreams as a way to communicate it's message to me, even after the trip. There's so much I still don't understand. I want to go back in and let the trip enlighten me. I feel like it could be used as a tool for self improvement.
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ergoticmandala



Registered: 06/03/15
Posts: 1,256
Last seen: 4 years, 29 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: AnonXO]
#23650419 - 09/16/16 12:49 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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that dream story kinda scared me, I totally understand why you would be scared to sleep. Maybe try to make better/resolve the mistakes which shrooms helped you realize and then the dreams will go away, The man in your dreams might represent the remorse you have for certain things you have done. It chases you, and is on your conscience. Just a thought.
But yeah, a good trip can resolve a bad trip, I think often bad trips the first time are because of not being familiar with the headspace and maybe because it shows you some feelings/thoughts you normally would suppress or ignore
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tommyg57

Registered: 07/05/15
Posts: 140
Loc: Under the stars
Last seen: 6 years, 7 months
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: ergoticmandala]
#23650477 - 09/16/16 01:11 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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As previously stated.. Go back in and see what happens. Remember, not every brain is made for tripping. If not stay away from it, wasn't ment for you.
Edited by tommyg57 (09/16/16 01:12 PM)
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AnonXO
/b/

Registered: 09/13/16
Posts: 77
Last seen: 4 years, 18 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: tommyg57]
#23650513 - 09/16/16 01:22 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Pretty much the conclusion is, either stay away from pshycdelics or go back in and hope for a good trip.
Thanks for all your answers. I honestly didn't expect many replies.
Have any of you guys had similar experiences?
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Rhiozan
Stranger



Registered: 01/23/15
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: ergoticmandala]
#23650577 - 09/16/16 01:52 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Hey AnonXO, what you have is not so uncommon after bad trips. It seems like PTSD of some sort. Needless to say that doing psychedelics and especially shrooms during the times of emotional distress is a very stupid thing. But I'm not judging you here, perhaps you were unaware of the importance of set and setting or even of a need to do a solid research before deciding to take any substance, psychedelic or not. I'm sure, you will never do the same mistake again.
What I see here is very similar to what my gf had. At some point we wanted to do shrooms again. We weren't in the best of moods before trip and I was stupid enough to give here 5+ grams of shrooms. I though she would feel better... This was a very stupid thing to do and I regret it even more so because it wasn't even me who had to go through one of the most horrible experience in life.
Some few weeks before the trip we went to see scary movies like Poltergeist (2015) and Lazarus Effect. And there she was with a full blown 5 lvl trip, wondering in that creepy and very nasty world of spirits from Poltergeist. At some point she felt being a tortured angel in hell, where they plucked her wings out perpetually. She said later that she had literally felt her ribcage being torn apart. I was there next to her all the time, trying to talk to her (while being high myself) but she couldn't grasp the reality or even remotely feel my presence.
All that left her very traumatized. She had frequent but manageable panic attacks and flashbacks for months. In a year she got much better though and tried shrooms several times. I can't say her trips are easy. On the contrary, they are difficult, yet we keep the dosage at 2g so they are not so severe.
In my opinion, bad trip happens when all your shit you've done or been through resurfaces, so you could face it and let it go one way or another, or it will be haunting you to a certain degree for the rest of your life. In fact this happens all the time to people who don't take psychedelics and, as a result of these repressed bad emotions, they feel generally unhappy with their lives for no apparent reason.
Some other guys on this forum will disagree with me and say that a shroom trip is a set of some random sensations, generated by our brains and trying to process a bad trip is a meaningless and futile effort that might traumatize you even further if you dwell on it and your best strategy would be to just go on with your life.
To be honest, I don't know which one is true, but considering that your set was messed up, this bad trip of yours is far from being random.
For now here is your strategy: whenever you are alone, turn on TV or youtube so something or someone is talking. Taking some mild sedatives on a regular basis, like the guys above suggested, is a good idea, they may take the edge off those bad emotions. Get more light into your room and try to be near people that make you feel comfortable. It is important to realize that what you have is manageable and you WILL get better eventually.
And although right now you might feel sick even thinking about the shrooms, but I suggest you to attempt the trip again in half a year or more. Start with a threshold dose of 0,5-1,5g and have a trip sitter by all means.
Peace to you.
-------------------- Ignorance is strength
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Love_spirit
Circle Of Power



Registered: 07/18/15
Posts: 1,208
Last seen: 7 months, 27 days
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Re: Shrooms may have changed my life negatively! [Re: AnonXO]
#23650583 - 09/16/16 01:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I would say you should really hold off for a good while. At least a year then start thinking about it again. If you have paranoia to the amount you describe you need time to integrate. You should find a drug to dull the nightmares. I've also had the nightmares every night thing even though when I was a kid I never had nightmares. I never had paranoia from drugs in the beginning. Without the drugs I would up spun by insane paranoia. Drugs drugs drugs, the drug will always be there so give it some time.
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