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Offlinelovuasca
Strange
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/10/16
Posts: 72
Loc: Level 0
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Being 'Pure Universal Knowledge' to the very core of my being.
    #23637653 - 09/12/16 04:16 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Dear Visionaries, I just want to get my word out about my experience. This was my fifth psychedelic experience, in the last experience (on psychedelic mushrooms) before this one I got to the point where I was having a level 5 trip that I found pretty intense. That experience… was NOTHING like the one below. It is very unfortunate that there are no words to describe something like this, let alone our capability to understand something like this with our human brain (at least for me :wink:.
I think the issue of being blasted like I had been this time has to do with the fact that the previous two times I did Mimosa Tenuiflora Root Bark (lets call it MTRB from now on), I puked. The first time (5gr MTRB) I thought it didn't work so I ate and puked right after. The second time I consumed the Syrian Rue seeds and the MTRB powder mixed in a juice. Either the taste or the fact that I ate something must have triggered the purging effect. Both times I used at least 3gr Syrian Rue. This time I did not purge however…
I may also need to note that I'm a fruitarian. Yes, I basically eat only raw fruits (or the raw fruits of plants in the botanical sense). I know many people eat very 'light' on their trip day, but I pretty much have a light diet to begin with.

It was the last day of my summer vacation, and I had the ingredients of Ayahuasca waiting for me for a while since I was still just processing my last experience. But I wasn't getting much time to trip after school had started, so I thought. I was going to take Ayahuasca that day, not with the intention of a deep deep experience like last time, just trying to take a step towards finding my ideal Ayahuasca dose.
So I put 3gr of Syrian Rue seeds in a coffee grinder until almost everything was pulverized. The MTRB was in powder form already. Actually the powder was so fine that smoke would come off it while handling it. At first I had the idea to try about 12gr of MTRB this time. I weighed about 12gr. I put everything in vegan 00 capsules. I started to get some doubts, maybe the leap could be a little big, especially since I thought I might not vomit this time. So I emptied out about 2gr worth of MTRB capsules to leave me with 10gr. I was ready.
I didn't really eat much that day. I made some kiwi juice with a slow juicer out of 8 kiwi's at around 12:00 (P.M. that is). That's everything that I 'ate' that day.

At 17:05 I swallowed the Syrian Rue capsules with some water.
At 17:40 I swallowed the MTRB capsules with some water and got into my bed.
I began feeling some intoxicating sensations pretty soon after taking the MTRB capsules.
The first visuals where starting to get prevalent at around 18:20.

I started seeing very vivid pictures of myself and my family members in specific stages in their lives, and also what felt like moments of their previous lives. The colors where much more vivid this time than my previous experiences. I really liked it but I felt like what I experienced was still only 10% of what I could handle, even though the peak was higher than what I've experienced before. I remember coming down, crying a bit about some past family issues. I looked that the clock to find out it was 19:00 already, apparently this peak took about 2 hours instead of 1 like my previous MTRB experiences.

I saw some nice patterns in my wall and the clouds outside. I saw a dragon smoking a bong, a cat's face. I remember thinking about going outside to comedown in the comfort of the sun and the trees. I wasn't really feeling to get out of my bed though. Then I just went to the bathroom. I realized I was still tripping from the fact that it was still very hard to walk. After that I put on some music and was kind of interested in hearing everything as if it was playing much faster than normal. It also felt as if I would be listing to something for hours, only to find out it has been a matter of a few minutes. At this point, I believed I was still coming back slowly to reality.

All of the sudden I felt a nasty feeling inside my body.  I felt a little nauseous so I took some sips of water. It felt funny. I thought it must the after effect of Ayahuasca, just like alcohol makes you feel nauseous when its effect has worn out. Huh, wait, visuals were coming on. I looked at the clock, it was almost 21:00. Holy shit, did I just activate some extra DMT in my body by drinking water? I did not experience a second peak the first two times. This time it came on stronger than I've had experienced it before. It was 21:00 already and I was still tripping. Not only that, but I knew I was about to get into an experience that I didn't even know how strong it would be. I didn't even know if it would be over before I had to go to school the next day. So be it, you can't turn back now!
On a side node, it was getting dark around this time. It made the open eyes visuals really amazing.

I remember the visual being stronger than everything I've experienced before. It would go by very very fast, and was very detailed. Further and further in I went. Nothing can really stop me now. It felt like being beamed up by a spaceship, and I could do nothing about it. It said to myself: “I didn't sign up for this, when, no if I come back, I'll tell everyone I told about my psychedelic experiences to NEVER touch this stuff!” But I still kept being thrown in a world of endless repeating patterns (I guess you could call them fractals) that went by fast! I mean fast. It was a little frightening. This was probably my most the frightening psychedelic experience. But, like in all my trips, I felt again the realization that fear is an option. Even so, I was being lifted into this 'geometric world' at quite a rapid pace so the fear kept with me for quite some time.
At some point, I felt like I was leaving the 3D world to enter a 4D world. This was accompanied by a loud and steady tone. The tone scared me a bit because I felt it meant I was about to experience some really intense stuff.

I reached a point where I started thinking: “Oh boy, I've done it now. I'm probably not even going to be back in time to go the school tomorrow.” This was also triggered by the fact that I didn't expect a second wave, let alone that I would peak even higher this time.
I felt being catapulted into a reality that is very very massive. Fleeting through layers and layers, each layer feeling as if I got into a reality that was more real than the previous on. I got to the point where I assumed a new reality that (I thought) could not possibly ever stop. It was like looking at everything with a logarithmic scale. But not even a logarithmic scale could measure the infinity I was in.
At some point I was wondering why I was where I was and why I was experiencing something so intense. I was nothing more than a consciousness in a geometrical world. Geometries where everything I knew. After wondering for a few secs I remembered that I was a boy somewhere in his bedroom tripping balls.
“My parents are going to find me”, I thought, “and I'm going to be in this state forever, if I survive at all.” At this point I was already immersed in a 3D world of geometry. But it seemed to turn into a 4D geometrical world, and all the geometry was a direct consequence of my thoughts and feelings. Everything that was, was my thoughts. From this point on, the geometry only started to get more and more complex.

Then it occurred to me that my whole experience (which included many lifetimes) was destined for me to break through like that at that moment. It felt like I broke out of the world of geometry.
I became the universe, and everything that lived around me in my borderline reality had probably moved on. I exploded into being, being infinite beyond description that is. I was in this 'universe state' for a long time. I would say it felt like thousands if not ten-thousands of years. Even though time was not really existent in this reality.
If it wasn't clear already, I had completely had forgotten who I was, I didn't actually care though. I was in a world where everything that existed was some geometric form and was nothing more than a thought of mine. The memories I had of this moment were not very clear. I remember being the universe, until the last thing that I remembered, was that the universe came to big to handle. But I could not stop piercing through layers. It is around this time everything turned black and the only thing I remember was that I erected immediately from my laying down position. I could observe my room again!

My room was still heavily filled with brightly colored patterns. I was not sure if this was immediately after the experience turned 'black', in my memory it is, but I didn't feel like I was coming down at that point.
I checked my alarm clock. It was about 00:30. I had tripped for a good 7 hours.
I went to the bathroom, which was really hard actually.
When I was back in my bed, I kept repeating “Holy shit! Holy shit!” quietly enough to not wake up my family. It was finally about 2:50 that felt that I was relatively 'normal' again and that I could sleep. It felt like the part between 0:30 to 2:50 went really fast, maybe like 30min. I think I might have misread the alarm clock at 0:30. But then again, it could be correct since the trip felt like a matter of thousands of years.

So I'd say the hallucinations pretty much took about 8.5 hours. That was the longest trip for me to date. But even though that being this universe sounds great, it was so extremely intense that I wonder if maybe this was beyond a heroic dose for me. I can't compare it very well as most people seem to consume Ayahuasca in the form of a brew or tea. Purging is very common, but the people on the internet where I got the capsule idea from also confirmed that throwing up doesn't really happen with this method.
This was so extremely intense I can't even remember how it really was. I'm pretty sure I forgot many things I experienced at that peak, and that peak lasted a good 3,5 hours. I felt as if I experienced being in some very high dimension.
Unfortunately I haven't gotten any very personal lessons from the 3,5 hour peak. I'll probably try a lot less next time.

Four days went by without anything of interest happening to me, with the exception that I was really eager to talk to people. I'm usually a bit anti-social.
Then, on a Friday, I had a dream where I took some shrooms. I actually felt that I had a trip, and when this 'trip' ended, I couldn't sleep. I wasn't really sure what reality was for an hour or so. The next few days I would be getting some flashbacks before falling asleep or after waking up. It was a little disruptive to be honest.
Then, at 1:45 AM on the first Sunday after my trip (7 days later), I actually woke up with the idea that I remembered what it really was that I experienced in my trip. It was one of the most important things that happened to me but that I couldn't remember. I wrote it down and as I did, the memory started to slowly fade again. I felt it was just too much to take for a single human being.

I remembered that I was seeing something that I would describe as 'universal knowledge'. This knowledge, I remember, consisted of some sort of a phrasing/chanting that I kept on repeating. They were to most beautiful words in existence. It came through as some sort of 'cheer', like some people where cheering for me receiving this knowledge. I knew these people as well, they were my friends and family, though not the ones on earth.
I was 'being born', and this knowledge meant the beginning and the end of the universe. This phrase/chant gave me ULTIMATE joy, it reminded me of having a better time than the strongest heroin high could really ever give you (not that I've touched anything like that, it was just how I categorized the intensity of this feeling). It was like 12-dimensional mind-sex. It actually felt a little selfish to feel this way. But it was not a choice at that time anyway.
To be honest, this 'knowledge' was scary. I can't explain it but it kind of explains everything that happened in this universe, the good and the bad. All the bad was necessary for us to reach enlightenment. It also told me there where more enlightened entities in this universe than dark ones, and that most of darkness' consciousness was compromised of a few large entities. But we are the majority, it felt like there was a 3:2 ratio.

I became the universe, and I saw how it evolved from a state of chaos to a state of harmony and light. I felt as if I had chosen the most ideal trajectory for this universe, a trajectory being a path that consists of the choices one makes. Yes, we've chosen the best path, I thought, and we're in to experience pure bliss when we reach this enlightenment in the course of the next 1.000's if not 10.000's of years.
I saw how we evolved to that point, and then some more as well. The magnificence of this collective consciousness seemed to reach states which seemed so supreme and intricate that I started to worry that I couldn't handle any more of this vision, but it kept evolving anyway. At some point my mind just got blown so much that things seemed to turn black, and I just couldn't see the point anymore. The next thing I remember was observing the room again.

Yes, this memory was only brief, but long enough for me to write it down I guess. That Sunday when I remembered, it was quite scary again because I remembered how it felt as though I was going to remember this 'universal truth', and it would impair my normal life in that I would either not be able to leave this state, or I would remember the knowledge and would have to pretend to be able to act normal again, since this knowledge is going to absorb me forever. So yes, after remembering this again, maybe it makes sense to me that I was indeed destined to experience that moment.

Looking back, it kind of has impacted my life quite a bit. I mean, I keep getting flashbacks a few days after this trip that have not stopped yet. With the help of some alternative healing methods I seem to be able to cope with this, but it really has shaken me to my core. Anyway, I'm going to lay of the psychedelics for a while. :wink: This trip has taken a toll on me.
Just be careful guys!


Edited by lovuasca (10/14/16 08:15 AM)


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OfflineIamLegend
Large Hadron Collider
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Registered: 09/15/16
Posts: 19
Last seen: 3 years, 2 months
Re: Being 'Pure Universal Knowledge' to the very core of my being. [Re: lovuasca]
    #23649725 - 09/16/16 07:21 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Thank for posting this, I had an extremely similar experience last night.  It was only my third time consuming shrooms, 3 grams dried.

This felt like a really bad trip to me...I would love to explain what happened, but it is impossible.  Lots of geometry, spirals, neon colors and a sense I was completely out of my body and out of control.  I did not enjoy it.  I was terrified that I would not be able to come back, or that I was already dead on the couch and this was my spirit.  At certain times, I felt I was folding into myself and riding a neon wave with no control.     

The prior two times, it was just some random patterns repeating in clouds, a sense of everything being in HD, etc. but no feeling of being out of control.  Perhaps the dose was too large.

I have a lot to think about.


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OfflineGrandmasterWigwam
Stranger
Registered: 06/08/15
Posts: 10
Last seen: 7 years, 4 months
Re: Being 'Pure Universal Knowledge' to the very core of my being. [Re: lovuasca]
    #23671573 - 09/23/16 04:16 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

:thumbup:


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