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Offlinelovuasca
Strange
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/10/16
Posts: 72
Loc: Level 0
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Are these actually flashbacks?
    #23631374 - 09/10/16 04:51 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Hey all,

This is going to be my first post. I'm relatively new to psychedelics. I only just recently started experimenting with shrooms and ayahuasca. I've had a trip on mushrooms that I found very intense. I liked the intensity of the lessons it thaught me as well. This was pretty much my 4th trip.
A few days ago (less than a week), I tried upping my ayahuasca dose, since I haven't quite broken through as much as I would have liked. Last dose was 8gr of Mimosa Tenuiflora powder, this time I planned to do 12gr, which I reduced to 10gr just before taking just being precautious.
The only way I can rationalize the intensity of this ayahuasca trip is that I must have had WAY more DMT in my body this time as I didn't purge. I didn't purge and with my previous two ayahuasca trips I did.

Holy ****, I thought the mushroom trip I just mentioned was HEAVY, but this was just out of the ******* ballpark. There is just no comparison.
Anyway, I'll try to write upload my trip report someday soon, I haven't done so because I'm hoping to be able to remember and digest some of my trip. Most of it was just extremely intense and I can't even fathom most of it. A big part of it was pretty scary to be honest.

This post however is about what happened to me last night and the night before. Yesterday night I was dreaming that I was taking mushrooms again. I pretty much felt I was actually tripping. Holy ****, that was very very real. After that 'dream trip' ended, I came back into this reality, meaning I was awake. I couldn't sleep for a few hours after that. That was pretty scary considering I didn't expect something like that to happen to me as I didn't take anything.
That was yesterday night. This night I tried to sleep. However, I did not actually fall asleep. I fell... into a trip really. When that trip ended (which I think might have taken up to an hour, but I don't know), I didn't really feel that I had slept at all.
After that I was a little startled. I went to the bathroom and it felt like I was coming back into reality to a degree I've never really felt before. As if I've been 'dreaming' my whole life and I just woke up, very intense. Too be honest that might have been true to some degree, I've been with my head in the clouds mostly my whole life, and no, not because of drugs or psychedelics.
Anyway, when I wanted to go back to sleep, I noticed that every time I started to 'douse off', I actually got into some sort of psychedelic state. I wasn't really ready in the mood to trip last night and so I stayed awake for quite some hours. I felt as though it might have been partially due to what I've eaten, maybe the fact that I ate about 2kg of grapes yesterday alone. I think I was right as these psychedelic effects become less strong after a few hours and I was able to fall alseep. I woke up this morning noticing some slight visuals that went away pretty fast.
I do feel that I've actually slept, so thats good. However, it took me quite a while to actually feel 'back on earth', I was very spacey this morning. I'm very grateful at this moment that I'm actually feeling normal.

I find it a bit scary that I'm experiencing these trips, when they're kind of uncalled for. On the other hand, it does feel like I'm processing some very (very!) deep psychological issues. After the trip that I had because I actually took the ayahuasca, I was a little disappointed because I thought I went so deep I didn't actually recover any useful wisdom from it. The thing was though that the next few days after that I did feel a connectedness of my breath and my heart & crown chakra, at least that's how I view it.
Now, after last night has faded, and I'm starting to return to borderline reality again, I do feel a kind of rest and peace of mind I couldn't even imagine existed! So yeah, luckily these episodes are not only all negative.

Anyway, I'm not really as afraid as I may come across. If it is one thing that these psychedelics thaught me is to not be afraid as everything I experience is just part of my 'mind', and I can choose to go through an experience with fear, or with joy. It is our choice always.

So this might be a lot to read through. I'm just wondering if anyone else has had something similar happen to her/him.
Also, I think the fact that I used to have huge issues with depression, and what I think is schizofrenia or psychosis in the past may have something to do with it?

Anyway, thank you.


Edited by lovuasca (09/10/16 07:52 AM)


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Offlinelovuasca
Strange
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/10/16
Posts: 72
Loc: Level 0
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Are these actually flashbacks? [Re: lovuasca]
    #23631414 - 09/10/16 06:02 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Also, one thing I noticed from both 'flashbacks', was that right before and right after these so called trips, I felt my skin aching badly. Kind of like when a mosquito has bitten you and you have been scratching it for quite a while.
Anyway, I thought I'd come down, but I still feel trippy today.


--------------------

It doesn't matter whether you are christian, muslim, jew, atheist or ascribe to any other belief-system.
It doesn't matter whether you look out to the stars, or under a microscope to the tiniest of particles.
It doesn't even matter what kind of practice you perform to reach your goal.
Because if you keep looking, everything eventually leads to the same truth, like a fractal that contains itself in every direction you take it.
You will find yourself.

I love you.

Blatant self-advertisement.


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Offlinelovuasca
Strange
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/10/16
Posts: 72
Loc: Level 0
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Are these actually flashbacks? [Re: lovuasca]
    #23634592 - 09/11/16 01:52 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Today I fell asleep normally again. That's good, very good. When I woke up I was hallucinating. Not with visuals, but with some visual stuff in my mind that doesn't resemble the visuals of ayahuasca at all, but still nice. Sound was distorted as well and sounded very much like my ayahuasca trip.
So yeah I had some hallucinations but they didn't prevent me from getting some proper sleep so I guess I'm happy again.


--------------------

It doesn't matter whether you are christian, muslim, jew, atheist or ascribe to any other belief-system.
It doesn't matter whether you look out to the stars, or under a microscope to the tiniest of particles.
It doesn't even matter what kind of practice you perform to reach your goal.
Because if you keep looking, everything eventually leads to the same truth, like a fractal that contains itself in every direction you take it.
You will find yourself.

I love you.

Blatant self-advertisement.


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OfflineRainman13


Registered: 05/24/16
Posts: 662
Last seen: 6 years, 8 months
Re: Are these actually flashbacks? [Re: lovuasca]
    #23634716 - 09/11/16 04:23 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Ok sorry to not give you any sort of answer that you are looking for, or the lack of usefulness of this post but i think you should just lay off any more tripping or any drugs for that matter till these flash backs settle down.


It sounds to me like the depression and the suspected schizophrenia or psychosis could have something to do with this? But then again i dont really have the full picture here so....

The only advice i can give, is try not to read too much into it, you may just go insane if you do, Just try to carry on with your normal life, live healthy and inspire others! Or something! Take care brother! :hug:


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Offlinelovuasca
Strange
I'm a teapot

Registered: 09/10/16
Posts: 72
Loc: Level 0
Last seen: 7 years, 2 months
Re: Are these actually flashbacks? [Re: Rainman13]
    #23634753 - 09/11/16 05:40 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Yeah I was planning to lay off the substances for quite a while, or at least until any form of flashblacks have subsided.


--------------------

It doesn't matter whether you are christian, muslim, jew, atheist or ascribe to any other belief-system.
It doesn't matter whether you look out to the stars, or under a microscope to the tiniest of particles.
It doesn't even matter what kind of practice you perform to reach your goal.
Because if you keep looking, everything eventually leads to the same truth, like a fractal that contains itself in every direction you take it.
You will find yourself.

I love you.

Blatant self-advertisement.


Edited by lovuasca (09/11/16 05:47 AM)


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