|
Anonymous #1
|
Living with mental illness.
#23628765 - 09/09/16 11:29 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I've been struggling with mental illness all my life. Over the course of a year it has gotten exponently worse. Much of it not my own fault due to things out of my control but I am at fault for pushing everyone away from me. I know that I won't get better from this. I've tried everything from therapy medication etc.
I know that I can never guaranteed that I won't lose it again. I've hurt everyone I've loved. How can I love again or even guarantee that I won't hurt others.
I am looking for hope and see none. If it was caused by drug addiction id have an easier time accepting my fate. But it's clearly my own brain chemistry. Something that without insurance will get worse. I won't go back to the mental hospital. Even my own family will cancel plans on me.
How the fuck am I supposed to live with all this?
|
Anonymous #2
|
|
The system that works in the states is to put you on disability with medical coverage. It is barely enough to get by at best and not enough on average. They usually play the medication lottery with any medical complaint you have.
Try to find an independent career and forget about people. At best try to be there for others. You don't have to live a normal life of spouse and children. That is what society put's on us. Just be happy and stable and as legal as you can try.
|
Oggy
Stranger Danger


Registered: 12/05/14
Posts: 1,276
Loc: Planet Remulak
Last seen: 6 months, 29 days
|
|
Mental illness is hugely genetic. So it's probably not your fault regardless of the drugs you have been involved with. Mental illness may manifest itself earlier because of the use of certain drugs, but it is a widely debatable topic.
The good news is that medication really does help. Paranoid schizophrenia is a tough one though, patients can develop thoughts that convince them to stop taking the medication. I don't know how tough it is to keep oneself grounded in situations of extreme paranoia so I cannot offer any advice. I did have a very good friend that suffered from daily psychosis if he stopped taking his medication. Aside from the medication, he said he would try to force himself to work on a hobby if he ever caught himself having an episode. I don't think this was healthy because he didn't want anyone around him during these times and the paranoia probably exploded while he was alone.
The only advice you should take from this topic is advice you have already heard. Seek medical attention and a therapist to talk to. If you keep with it eventually you'll be able to control this all on your own through medication and simply talking about it when you are having a particularly bad day.
Live your life however makes you happiest. Temporarily sever ties with those you legitimately feel are toxic to your well being and get better.
--------------------
|
RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I am looking for hope and see none.
Hopelessness (despair) has deep psychological roots. Many disagree it's caused by brain abnormalities or chemical defects.
Hopelessness is very common (part of depression) and is often associated with a belief that we can't reduce our distress (and sometimes an unwillingness to examine the cause of our despair).
Your comment, "I've hurt everyone I've loved." reveals self-loathing, which is also very common.
Would you be willing to accept yourself totally as you are, without trying to change anything?
Are you 100% attached to the idea that something is "wrong" with you?
If so, might you be willing to give that up?
|
Anonymous #1
|
Re: Living with mental illness. [Re: RJ Tubs 202]
#23632033 - 09/10/16 11:17 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
|
|
I have tired to change. It only made my quality of life worse. Granted some of the things that happened were out of my control. Some things I could have definitely handled better.
I don't know where to go from here. My opinion is that their are only a few options. None of them I'm thrilled about. Really just want the pain to end one way or another.
Knowing I will be stigmatized if I'm honest with people.knowing that this is going to be impossible to "fix" . No one deserves that. Hell I don't even want to be around me.
|
RJ Tubs 202


Registered: 09/20/08
Posts: 6,016
Loc: USA
Last seen: 12 hours, 6 minutes
|
|
Quote:
Anonymous said:
I have tired to change. It only made my quality of life worse.
So consider another path. Accept you and your life exactly how they exist. Now.
When we can't stand to be with ourselves, we are experiencing self-hatred.
Notice the avalanche of thoughts that fuel your self-loathing.
Don't believe them. The mind of self-hatred is a liar.
Look within yourself for some way to find self-compassion.
You, more than anyone else on this planet, is best able to give yourself love.
|
|