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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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What the fuck is Happening to me seriously?
#23628229 - 09/09/16 07:20 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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So guys i know i am heavy posting stuff but i deleted now the others to make some space to post this one.
I dont know what is happening to me seriously. Everything im talking about isnt an ilusion it has happened really to me so dont fuck around please
Brief Explanation :
- Had a Kundalini Awakening with MDMA/Meditation/Weed -Was then 4-5 Months in thoughts seeking for something wich led me out of body and my mind. -I was full blown unconsciously and wasnt conscious how far i took this whole story. -Expanded my awareness so much
I then crashed downwards after being so much time up there .
I feel now ;
-Trapped in myself -Low Emotions -Not attached to anyone or anything is this world even to a spiritual force or god -I am slow -There is any power nothing and i feel disable to do many things -Living in my head
Many said to me it may be a Transitioning Phase in enlightment (Dark Knight or maybe some other stuff) Or my mind got hang up by so much thoughts .
I dont really know what is happening and i feel fucked disabled and slow .
I tried Ganja , it gave me some force but just in the moment and i saw everything derealised and had the same symptoms so i didnt even notice it .
Has anyone got a clue of what could be happening in my brain ?
Thanks for reading
Edited by Trippedytrip (09/09/16 07:25 AM)
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Eclipse3130
Servant of the Fungi



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23628321 - 09/09/16 08:05 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Meditate for an hour, re connect with higher self
-------------------- "In The Material World One seeks retirement and grows Old In The Magical World One seeks Enlightenment and grows Wiser In The Miraculous World One seeks nothing and grows Lighter As we all tread the Homeward Path we will explore many Realms And one day... we will all Realize that all experiences are Simply Different ways in which The All-That Is Perceives Itself"
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Eclipse3130]
#23628324 - 09/09/16 08:08 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I did a Vipassana Retreat , not much happened
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deff
just love everyone



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23628386 - 09/09/16 08:42 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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if i were in your position, i would try to ground myself, as you have mentioned doing in other threads
also, try to look for the positive in your life, and not overly focus on the negative symptoms to the best of your ability
prayer might also be beneficial, prayer to your higher self, the universe, whatever you look up to
try and turn the situation more into a positive, inquire into what you could be learning from this, what it might mean on a bigger picture scale of your life, etc... this is hard to do though, and often we don't see the benefit from things like this until after they end, in hindsight
best of luck with this! much love
--------------------
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bigdoodie
it does not matter


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: deff] 1
#23628667 - 09/09/16 10:48 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Too much thinking. Problems only exist because we choose to agknowledge them as problems. All that happens in our mind is thoughts, and the personality is just a creation of the mind, we are literally the same person. And we really are creatures, personification is abstract. We are no different from the animals
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Razare
Stranger

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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: bigdoodie] 1
#23634576 - 09/11/16 01:41 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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For me, Christ was the change I was looking for having had a kundalini spirit in me.
In some ways I think it's kind of bad to say, "Jesus is the way out." Because there probably are other ways out of this, and believing should really be because you believe (has to be really.)
The Hindus are very big on the lotus flower. Well, just yesterday, God was showing me about the lotus flower in the Bible.
"Under the lotus plants it lies, hidden among the reeds in the marsh." - Job 40:21
I wont go into all the meaning of why it is mentioned in that verse, but my point is that these experiences happen to men is part of the natural realm that men are bound to. In scripture it says, "Since you died with Christ to the elemental spiritual forces of this world, why, as though you still belonged to the world, do you submit to its rules?"
Kundalini, meditation, drugs, ect. These activities are bound to rules. The rules require things on your part in order to feel good. Follow the rules = good feelings... yet what happens is that this ultimately isn't enough because the things you did to get the good feelings, don't work as well as they used to.
This means you're bound to the rules. God through Christ actually breaks those rules men are bound to.
I'm not proselytizing here, just it is something to consider as an alternative, if you are open to consider alternatives.
--------------------
  2016 was a good year, +5 lb of Morels, and I ate 8 new species of wild mushrooms: Herecium, Chanterelles, Black Trumpets, Parasol Mushroom, Fairy Ring Mushroom (marasmius oreades), Wild Oyster, Slippery Jacks, Honey Mushrooms (found over 100lb, froze 4lb in my freezer.) Reference Pictures for Mushrooms
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Razare]
#23634627 - 09/11/16 02:17 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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And wich alternatives are you describing really?
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beforethedawn
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23634654 - 09/11/16 02:52 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Sorry I haven't got back to your PM as yet.
I'm unsure as to how to proceed.
Are you medicated with antipsychotics?
Do they think you have schizophrenia?
I would suggest doing extensive reading on Kundalini awakening especially toxic mind theory.
http://biologyofkundalini.com/article.php?story=ToxicMindTheory
I had an awakening a few months ago.
Apparently Police don't get that many calls in the city of Melbourne (~5 million people) for a single vehicle and this is mainly a town of maybe 4-5000 people. I made the local radio also.
looooool
It was so beautiful man. I'm starting to creep back into it, this time far more cautiously.
So. Beautiful.
I cannot wait . . .
EDIT -
Oh, hey, don't ever smoke weed when going through stuff like this. Mushrooms maybe - low doses for healing. Stay away from MDMA unless you really need a break or something.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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littlespider
spider


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23634661 - 09/11/16 02:57 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Trip I'm not in a position to diagnose what's going on but if I was feeling like your list I'd use the Opposite Action skill to shift.
These things: Trapped in myself -Low Emotions -Not attached to anyone or anything is this world even to a spiritual force or god -I am slow -There is any power nothing and i feel disable to do many things -Living in my head
I would do the opposite. Drag my arse out and see some people. Find someone to see a funny movie with. Hug someone, even if you don't feel like it. Exercise even if it's a slog, get out for a walk on a hill. Do small tasks, put a load of washing on. Wash one pile of dishes. Make one phone call that needs taken care of. Get out of your head. Remember thoughts aren't facts. Perception can be off. Let your thoughts come and go without judging them. Accept thoughts and emotions with care and love, even if they are uncomfortable.
Get to bed before midnight and up at 8, eat something good every day.
Keep plodding on. This is how I get out of a funk..that's what I would start with.
-------------------- remember what the dormouse said
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littlespider
spider


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: beforethedawn]
#23634663 - 09/11/16 03:00 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
beforethedawn said:
Oh, hey, don't ever smoke weed when going through stuff like this. Mushrooms maybe - low doses for healing. Stay away from MDMA unless you really need a break or something.
Yes this. Absolutely
-------------------- remember what the dormouse said
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: beforethedawn]
#23634682 - 09/11/16 03:37 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Interesting blog ,
I am using Abilify and a Antidepressive one but il lay it off this week because i dont see they help much.
My situation is very strange. People from outtsides see me normal , a little bit depressive maybe.
I cant feel emotions really no more , they have gone away and i dont feel this whole body sensation when you are feeling great!
I think it is something spiriitual and some changes are taking place in my head . I have this ear pressure in the head and i neither can see through my eyes it is strange , as if this bubble would pop i could see the light then and be in a higher consciousness state as before.
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littlespider
spider


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Posts: 496
Loc: UK
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23634687 - 09/11/16 03:43 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Even if I was in the process of enlightenment, while I was still human I would honour that doing human things, eat, touch others, move...
To me nirvana is a state of being when I am the best version of me and in relationship with others. Heaven is hear on earth for me
-------------------- remember what the dormouse said
Edited by littlespider (09/11/16 03:43 AM)
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: littlespider]
#23634703 - 09/11/16 04:05 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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It is not so easy if you feel a dissociation to everything , yourself (emotions) and earth.
I am still living normal
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hobowizard
beginner
Registered: 04/10/15
Posts: 192
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: bigdoodie]
#23635132 - 09/11/16 09:37 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
bigdoodie said: Too much thinking. Problems only exist because we choose to agknowledge them as problems. All that happens in our mind is thoughts, and the personality is just a creation of the mind, we are literally the same person. And we really are creatures, personification is abstract. We are no different from the animals
that Buddhism influence. But it makes some sense.
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: hobowizard]
#23635420 - 09/11/16 11:25 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Definetely too much thinking
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beforethedawn
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23636373 - 09/11/16 04:49 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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The Abilify will definitely be contributing to the numbness. Not saying you should definitely go off it - though I had very bad things to say about APs in the Wellbeing forum, I may have been a bit paranoid LOL. And I'm also not saying you should stay on them, by all means, if you are numb, maybe you should stop them . . .
What these medications do if you don't have voices and hallucinations is just shut you down. I think they are good for people with voices screaming at them all day, but if you're a little paranoid, a little delusional and very flat, they will only make the solution more difficult.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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Razare
Stranger

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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip] 1
#23639597 - 09/12/16 07:37 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said: And wich alternatives are you describing really?
Alternative would be to inquire Jesus and Jehova and the Holy Spirit, (they are one) based upon the scriptures of them.
I'm a charismatic disciple of Jesus.
I hesitate to just point you at any box gathering because there are issues with that... revelation is best direct from God, and inquiry happens by God's word, scripture. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John.
--------------------
  2016 was a good year, +5 lb of Morels, and I ate 8 new species of wild mushrooms: Herecium, Chanterelles, Black Trumpets, Parasol Mushroom, Fairy Ring Mushroom (marasmius oreades), Wild Oyster, Slippery Jacks, Honey Mushrooms (found over 100lb, froze 4lb in my freezer.) Reference Pictures for Mushrooms
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Razare]
#23640503 - 09/13/16 02:19 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well i wont quit weed , it gives me the love and energy i need and i can look forward ...
I quitted now all Ap's cause they dont help anymore. They make me numb flat and anbig space in my head , i cant continue with them . I have great respect to mushrooms but i will continue smoking because it really helps and can get me out of this situation
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beforethedawn
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23640676 - 09/13/16 05:48 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Well good luck. If we goes down well then by all mean smoke it but I thought you (or was it another poster?) said you feel bad on weed.
If you regularly get any sort of badness from any drug do something else with your life. Your brain is fragile, that means your continued experience of a full life is fragile.
-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: beforethedawn]
#23640836 - 09/13/16 08:01 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Not really it gives me oxygen and i can think clearly
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Buster_Brown
L'une


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23640849 - 09/13/16 08:10 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said:
I quitted now all Ap's cause they dont help anymore. They make me numb flat and anbig space in my head , i cant continue with them .
I am pleased with this decision. Let's move on to the next chapter in this saga.
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Puff
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23640850 - 09/13/16 08:10 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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my guess would be it was a bad mdma batch, thats the only explanation i can think of
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MarkostheGnostic
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23642365 - 09/13/16 05:35 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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You ask a question, and then supply the answer as a "Kundalini Awakening with MDMA/Meditation/Weed," which is of course questionable and open to interpretation. Then you supply a series of consequences which have more to do with Dissociative Disorder and Clinical Depression than is has to do with a psycho-spiritual awakening. A "Dark Night of the Soul" phase is a form of 'spiritual pathology' that John of the Cross, a 16th century Carmelite priest documented about a particularly depressing stage of spiritual formation. However John of the Cross was not smoking cannabis and dropping MDMA to deplete his Dopaminergic system thereby plunging him into depression and anhedonia. It sounds like you experienced a transient psychotic episode, like so many young Shroomerites who want to glam up their true-dope stories with metaphysical sparkle.
The Tantric Kundalini model explains in mythic terms a hyper-pranic, even a hyper-cosmic experience of Nirvikalpa or Asamprajnata samadhi (depending upon the school), but the results are an integration of consciousness and unconscious material, NOT an enduring negative experience of being overwhelmed with material from the unconscious which paralyzes one's life in the world. If you're continuing to experience derealization, depersonalization, and general dissociation, you need to stop using cannabis and any stronger psychedelics immediately. Then you should begin to ground yourself by doing manual things, even simple things like cleaning house or pulling weeds (literally). If it's still warm where you are, go barefoot on the grass if possible. Play with domestic pets if available. They live in the present and in their senses. Learn from them to come down to earth. Engage your senses and learn to inhabit your body again. As gestalt psychologist Fritz Perls used to say "Lose your mind and come to your senses."
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
Edited by MarkostheGnostic (09/14/16 04:33 PM)
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beforethedawn
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-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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viktor
psychotechnician



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23643614 - 09/14/16 01:15 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Probably you're just schizing out and need to calm down. All of the things Markos suggested would work.
I like to just bounce a ball against a wall and catch it again to ground myself in the physical. Played cricket today and it felt good.
Then again, I'm also on antipsychotics in order to not schiz out. If you've ruled those out you might have to think a but more.
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip


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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: viktor]
#23643666 - 09/14/16 02:32 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Nice posts ! Thanks
Yeah i think i had a too long internal trip and went to farY The problem is my brain has remained unconscious and taking meds has stopped me more to go further.
I need to open my consciousness again wich weed to make the change possible because i dont want to be unable in life .
What do you think about that sounds pretty good right ? Weed will do that
I dont know other way coming out of this stucked situation.
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viktor
psychotechnician



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23643735 - 09/14/16 03:24 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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I think weed is a spiritual medicine. Probably what's happened to you is that you've shocked yourself with too much truth in one hit and have burned your soul. Well, weed might soothe you.
Only I'd definitely be smoking indicas and not sativas if I was you.
-------------------- "They consider me insane but I know that I am a hero living under the eyes of the gods."
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: viktor]
#23644024 - 09/14/16 08:07 AM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Yes weed does its job , well i got thought free due to meds so im gonna smoke some sativa , hash and indica to.
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MarkostheGnostic
Elder



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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: Trippedytrip]
#23645241 - 09/14/16 04:55 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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Quote:
Trippedytrip said: Yes weed does its job , well i got thought free due to meds so im gonna smoke some sativa , hash and indica to.
You're obviously under no obligation to comply with advice you solicited, but be advised that my advice comes with 30+ years of experience as a PhD licensed psychotherapist, 34 years as a Substance Abuse Counselor (21 years as a Master Addiction Counselor). You're just 'spinning your wheels,' which if you have no experience with getting your car stuck in the snow means digging your car deeper and deeper into the snow because you won't stop and change your strategy to get unstuck. Intoxication has two meanings: inebriation AND poisoning. For your condition, it's the latter meaning, unless you're just attention-seeking and full of BS, in which case as my late mom used to say, "go bang your head against a wall [you'll feel much better after you stop]." I sometimes see people clinically who don't want to lose their symptoms because they get 'secondary gains' from them, like getting lots of attention. That's a separate clinical issue altogether. Looks like another case of 'careful what you ask for' (or who you ask).
-------------------- γνῶθι σαὐτόν - Gnothi Seauton - Know Thyself
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akira_akuma
Φύσις κρύπτεσθαι ὕψιστος φιλεῖ


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i have a general rule of thumb, that i generally have trouble applying myself, but i know it's generally true, nonetheless...never use medicines for no reason. have a reason. otherwise, it's not wise. it may, indeed, have counter-effects that are welcome effects, and as such, can negatively effect you...like me. after enough psychedelics, the art of my mind has drastically shifted. i feel it is a fine thing, but it needs to be refocused and shifted back into reality (which is a core teaching in the philosophy of psychedelic therapy) -- i find with what i did, ie, not taking heed, and not exactly having a spiritual reason for traversing the territory (as it were), it was all relatively chaotic, and now that reflects my current status now -- which i was purposefully prepared for, anyways, considering my mind and it's coordination with music, and art.
i did not 'ground' myself, and thus was left off in a place that i had to endeavor (and still do) to prepare myself for, to leave, as it's not where i need to be...though it has been a lesson on the realm of the real, and of course, this "taking heed" that i intent to fulfil (which i have a feeling most people have an easier time with with simpler...expression.)...this leaving to find a place i can call home, is only to be more comfortable in my own skin, and since i know this, i can feel relatively comfortable that i can handle my own skin, at present, because i know where and who i am. some people don't. it would be...alternately sad, and i'd have to say, insightful and interesting, to witness say those with certain mental aptitudes (like schizophrenia, for example)....(for it would be like seeing a door between two world...like seeing someone in a heightened state of psychedelia)
but regardless of that fact, that i am indeed fine, the world to traverse is inside, and also out, but there is no difference which, when you look at the inverse convolved springboard spiral of life that stems from radiational graviton singularity...to put it poetically.
so this world requires devoutness, to put it lightly. there's no stopping, the day i stop, is the day i'll start to want to truly die, which is to truly live. if i live in devoutness and everything halts in that devoutness, i'd have to presume i'm either truly forsaken or i've ascended into enlightenment, and at that point, there is no control but my actions -- thought will not be involved. and i prize life, so i imagine, i will probably effort to live & die, instead to continue to be stopped, and if i stopped, i wouldn't know it, anyway, so there's not reason to really apprehend anything there. the choice will not be mine, at that point.
i might be lost, but inside i am found, to put it all simply.
that's enough of this tract.
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beforethedawn
Registered: 06/19/16
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Re: What the fuck is Happening to me seriously? [Re: akira_akuma]
#23646110 - 09/14/16 11:00 PM (7 years, 4 months ago) |
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-------------------- Hostile humankind Can't you see you're fucking blind?
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Trippedytrip
TrippedyTrip



Registered: 09/07/15
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Can you comprehend that i was in Hyperspace with this long mental trip. Fall down then and did a wrong move and got stucked behind.
By smoking weed i can open my consciousness again wich now is so limited or i hope i can.
I took some weeks AP,s wich made me go more numb and blocking all of my receptors and they have made the thing worse.
I am going to jogg now every day , see in front and staying calm and patience.
I am not trying to attract any posts or answers .
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