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OfflineChakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Need Advice on an Mysteriously Urgent Situation
    #23625394 - 09/08/16 10:53 AM (7 years, 4 months ago)

Hey shroomy ladies and gentlemen,

I come with a pertinent and urgent question, but first here's some background explanation:

I've reconnected with a friend from years ago and we became really close about two months ago. In the past few weeks, almost a month now, my friend has begun to go in and out of contact with me, which is normal enough. During these past few weeks we have somewhat frequently made plans, but then my friend would disappear on the day of those plans and I would not hear from them for days.

Normally, I think people would go ahead and move on in a situation like this, assuming that if someone was not getting in touch with them or avoiding contact then it is a simple matter of disinterestedness. However, knowing my friend, I can be quite certain that this is not the case. My friend is going through a very difficult time, and has expressed as much to me, let alone the past they have had to face, leaving traumatic, emotional scars. It is difficult for them to trust anyone right now, but like I said, we had become very close before this pattern of avoidance began.


So I heard back from them yesterday, after asking whether or not they were well. They responded by saying "I am unwell. Meaning that I have left the well." At first this message seemed just like a continuation of their previous state, being ill and all that, and not so much of a big deal. However, today, I'm having doubts. "Meaning that I have left the well".... this strikes me as a cryptic but alarming statement... what I once took as a kind of play on words, well as in a state of being and a water source, I now sense to be an ominous declaration. To leave the well, as in wellness, for good?

should I be really concerned about them? It seems as if my friend has said that they will never be well again, and at our young age, that is indeed a heavy thing to believe. I'm very concerned for them and want to help, to protect them from harms way if possible.

What do you fine people of the shroomery think? Am I blowing things out of proportion, or should I take some plan of action to try and communicate with my friend?


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InvisibleJokeshopbeard
Humble Student

Registered: 11/30/11
Posts: 26,088
Loc: Deep in the system Flag
Re: Need Advice on an Mysteriously Urgent Situation [Re: Chakra Shock] * 1
    #23626561 - 09/08/16 05:39 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I think you should stop worrying and take action.

To me, when I read the phrase "Meaning that I have left the well" what at first sprung to my mind is that they may have risen from the depths of their depression. Perhaps this is a projection on my part, as the analogy I used to describe my struggle through the depths of depression in the last year of my life when explaining to friends was that it was like being stuck in a dark hole, with a ladder out just out of reach. Quite like an 'empty well' in the picture in my mind.

If I gathered my strength, I could make a jump and grab the bottom rung of the ladder, but it was slippery as fuck, and I fell back down into the dark depths of the hole many times. I would then lie, broken and battered, at the bottom of the hole for weeks while I again gathered the strength to make another go at it. Even getting a couple of rungs up left me liable to falling off again, but when I finally hit rock bottom, I knew that I had to make it up that ladder else I was gonna end up dead.

I'm now out of my hole, and bathing in the light again. Still recovering from the trauma of course, but without all of the self-destructive, self-abusive behaviour that I indulged in to try and keep my mind off the darkness when I was down there.

Truth is though, you're not going to be at ease until you get in touch.

There's one more thing I would like to share with you CS. There is a connection between the top three most meaningful and influential relationships in my life. All three went through a period where contact was broken for a long period. And in all three instances did I end up, eventually, turning up on their doorstep looking for them.

I know not everyone is as bold as I, and some would even consider this intrusive, but fact of the matter is the connection is there for me. And, IIRC your age, this all happened around where you are now. If you can do it, I would highly advise it.


--------------------
Let it be seen that you are nothing. And in knowing that you are nothing... there is nothing to lose, there is nothing to gain. What can happen to you? Something can happen to the body, but it will either heal or it won't. What's the big deal? Let life knock you to bits. Let life take you apart. Let life destroy you. It will only destroy what you are not.
--Jac O'keeffe


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OfflineChakra Shock
Waxing Prophetic


Registered: 02/22/13
Posts: 2,514
Loc: The Enterprise
Last seen: 3 years, 8 months
Re: Need Advice on an Mysteriously Urgent Situation [Re: Jokeshopbeard] * 3
    #23626826 - 09/08/16 06:56 PM (7 years, 4 months ago)

I wanted to try that, I was right about to go and knock on my friend's door, but when this call to action came to me I was sitting in meditation, and chose to work through the bulk of the emotions as some part of me was saying not to go. I found out later that she's moved.

I did indeed think it would have been intrusive, but at the same time I fully accept actions like that as crucially deciding moments in our life. It's important to be able to step past the confines of courtesy if you think someone might be in danger.

However, I did hear back from my friend, and gratefully so. I'm reassured that she can make it through this time, but clearly there's a lot farther to go. It has been one of those days where a constant stream of thought and emotion have synchronized into a singular purpose of meditative intent: that of healing. Just really happy to have heard back from her.

Thanks for your response JSB! insightful as always.


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